A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hiya everyone ive got a really embarrasing problem but the thing is it hurts too n just wanted some help plz!! well the thing is i was seeing this lad 4 bout 3 months n we got on really well. we both liked the same music n had a really gud laugh but he called it off with me n told me we'd be better as friends am really confussed! can u love some 1 after 3 months? its hard too, coz his just got a new girlfriend 2 n its in our local pub!! so theres no gettin away from it n he sed we cud be friends but the thing is now his with her he dosnt ask me to the pub 4 a drink as mates any more n dnt ring me or nothing!! i thought mates do that? he still says hi but its not the same any more n i do miss him. the thing is too ive just found out that av caught an s.t.i off him n my friends say 4get him but its hard! the s.t.i is not serious n i can get rid ovit easy but i carn't stop thinking bout him easily!! wat do i do coz i really dnt no. if u can help me i will be so gratefull!! thanks x x x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 May 2007):
 Time to let your head rule your head, not your heart...he didnt mean 'lets be mates', it was just a line to let you down gently. Nor would that work really since you still have some passion for the guy and the relationship ending was hardly mutual? I am sure there is more than one pub in your area so drink elsewhere, or face him and his new beloved drooling over each other. Absence from his sight won't make the heart grow fonder...it will help you forget about him and maybe find someone new who hasn't got a tropical garden growing in his boxer shorts!
As for the STI - maybe he doesn't know and you ought to tell him about it. You also need to take responsibility for your own sexual health - that means having the self esteem to say 'use a condom'. He gave you a minor STD, but it could have been something terrible too...it is an indicator he doesn't practice safe sex (he must have got it from someone else at some stage) so you are playing russian roulette with your health over some bloke who doesn't even have the decency to be straight with you.
Walk away, avoid him for a while and remember condoms next time your heart is fluttering.
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (26 May 2007):
 Oh sweetheart you fell head over heels for this guy and he has treated you like dirt and you don't deserve that.
I cannot believe you are not angry with him for doing this to you.
He is not a guy with a backbone I'm afraid and he has moved onto this new girl without a second glance, perhaps he is unaware he has a STI but someone needs to at least tell him as he could infect a lot of girls.
It always shows that he is not a moral guy and he sleeps around a lot.
I personally think you have had a very lucky escape.
You need to start changing where you go for a drink and make sure you surround yourself with your friends. I am not suggesting being vindictive and telling his new gf you have an STI but suggest to him that he sorts his out and do it soon as that is the responsible and mature thing to do otherwise you will report him to your doctor and they may do it as a matter of course.
You are not out to be a vicious ex but a very mature and responsible one.
This new gf is obviously oblivious to this guy so just be thankful that you are no longer with him as he could have been cheating on you whilst he was with you, start to feel just a little bit angry with what he has put you through.
There are plenty of decent guys out there and your next bf make sure he knows about this ex and what he gave you and the fact that you are all clear but you don't want to go through that again OK.
Take care sweetheart and take one day at a time, it is never easy to get over someone we love but you just have to do it gradually and always keep yourself busy doing things otherwise it gives you more time to think.
Perhaps plan a small trip away with friends if funds are low, even a weekend for a girlie time.
Look forward not backwards and you will soon again be smiling.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 Forget him, and move on.
DV1
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