A
female
age
41-50,
*IERIN
writes:So ...I am going out with this guy ... he is nice ...few years older than me ... everything was great ... until I found out,he lives with someone.Anyway .. he told me they are breaking up .. and that she is moving out .. so I gave him a chance ... we were going out again ... 2months went by and she still didn't move out .. he says, she doesn't stay there anymore...and that he wants to be with me ... and that he likes me ... and he cares about me .. but ... he never calls me during the week .. sometimes even 10 days he doesn't call .. and I am confused ... what does he want? ... He calls me when he is bored and has nothing to do,or when he feels like having sex i guess .. and i feel so stupid now .. i just don't know what to do .. I am happy when I am with him .. and I am unhappy for the rest of the time...I like him .. and I would like to give him a chance ... but I don't know how to let him know,that I don't feel comfortable in this situation and that I am just not happy! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): i think u should tell him to go to hell its obvious that he wants you for sex so just let it go.you are worth more than that think about ? if you care about your self than at least have the dignity to get something better than that cause its if as u were getting second plate thats filthy instead of first i know its hard but you can do it just talk to god ask him to help u thats the best advice i can give you alright wish u the best
A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (14 June 2007):
LIERIN is verified as being by the original poster of the question TO ALL OF YOU!
Thank you!
You were all right! HE IS NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!! It hurt for a while ... and I did miss him a lot ... but now I know I did the right thing ... and I am mooving on with my life and going to look for the Real love - or at least for someone, that will care for me!!!!!!!!!
Thank you again
XOXO
Lierin
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (11 June 2007):
 I know the message you highlighted was for Elsie but just wanted to say that at the end of the day - good for you girl.
No one can be in your shoes and know your relationship or situation as well as you can so every decision has to be yours.
I am sad that it didn't work out for you but I am also glad that you are strong enough to say I have had enough of this mucking around and I need to get on with my life.
Wish you well, take care.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (11 June 2007):
LIERIN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTO ELSIE
Thanks for your help!
Anyway ... I think all was for nothing ... I have to let go this guy .. cause he is defintely not IT!!!!
He never hurry up to get away from me after we have sex ... he is always with me until the morning, when he has to go to work..he holds me all night long .. and gives me a kiss during the night every now and than ... and i just feel sooooo good when i am with him ...
But unforunately this realtionship is going nowhere...
Many things have changed...
He is just unreaileable..he never calls, he is never there when i need him, he saiz, he is busy (going to hahmptons with his friends for the whole week - I cant go,cause i work) ... and he is still with the other one ...
so .. thats it ..
thank you all for your help tho !
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A
female
reader, elsie +, writes (30 May 2007):
 you need to get him to open up about what it is that he needs to sort out?i find it VERY odd that he doesnt ring you for these long stretches??you are not being desperate you deserve to be told the truth.can you get hold of him whenever you need to?or is he the one that rings you?does he seem in a hurry when you have to go after youve spent the night?forgive me for saying this but isnt the fact you you share the same bed and have very strong feelings for him mean the relationship has"started for real"?
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (26 May 2007):
OK so I think the whole thing here is that take him up on his offer to sleep over whenever you want to but never pre plan it.
If the ex is still sniffing around you will soon see by his reaction. Do it more as a spur of the moment thing.
If he doesn't ring you for over 10 days then he can't be missing you that much can he?
I would play him at his own game though, men are not the only ones who can play the waiting game you know.
Don't be the one sitting by the phone waiting for his call.
If he text's you don't reply immediately do it within one hour but not over the hour. You could be out with friends and didn't hear the sound of the text coming in.
Be out a bit more even if you just go and visit a friend or something, it could even be your nan but just make out it's a friend, don't necessarily specify female or male.
I would not be on tap for him so that you drop everything whenever he is bored and wants to see you.
Start going to the gym, a dance class with a friend, go to the pictures or something. Keep your life full with other things as it will soon show you if he is well and truly into you or not or whether he is seeing other females for the 10 days he doesn't contact you.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder so they say so just make him feel your absence in his life. Say that you are giving him space to sort himself out if he asks and then you don't sound like a needy female, instead you show him that you are an independant woman who can stand on her own too feet and who can get another man whenever she wants as she is still very attractive, young and full of life.
Treat em mean and keep me keen sweetheart.
Take care and keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (25 May 2007):
LIERIN is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I already wrote this question before as an anonymous and thank't so all of you who were trying to help me out...Anyway .. you wanted some more info ... so here it sWell, he does have some history with his ex. They have been living together for about a year now. He said that she doesn't sleep there anymore and that I can sleep over there whenever I feel like it. He invites me all the time, so I quess that's good. He does call when he feels like it. But I understand that guys sometimes play this "game" - not calling too often. Ok,I get it. Also, just because we get toghether doesn't mean we have sex. He respects when I say NO and he is ok with it. He holds me in his arms the whole night when I sleep and kisses me on my forhead. To me, that is a sign of something ... no? At least I thought guys usually don't want to cuddle after sex or hold you the whole night, but he does.I told him that I can't play the second field, that I need to know if he really means it because I don't want to get into a realtionship with him when he doesn't want to. And if its just about sex - fine, just tell me! But he said .. it's not about that, I like you. I want to be with you, but first I have to get my life together so we can start for real.So I guess just time will show me if he was telling me the truth. I hope he was. I really do.
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