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Affairs are not worth it! Thanks for everyone's advice!

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

about a week ago i posted this question

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-dont-know-how-to-end-it-what.html

I just want to thank all those who replied to me.I know what i did was wrong but i also know now that i have to live with the guilt. Forever.

Affairs happen,but they are not always the answer.be forwarned all those who are contemplating an affair..its not worth it.if your relationship has problems try to sort them out,then if you feel you must be with someone else..end it..

dont be like me..be right..be fair to your partner.they deserve it.

i ended my affair and tried to stay friends but i know now that cant always happen.i chose my husband.i chose my children.They come first.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (25 May 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntAmen. Congratulations on your epiphany!! You sound like you have definitely learned a valuable lesson, and I hope that your words will help others in their choices.

Enjoy your family!

xxIndia

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2007):

Country Woman agony auntTake my hat off to you girl, it is never easy to admit when we are wrong and you have done this to a whole site which possibly condemned you and supported you.

I was the one who was cheated on and whilst it was not easy to deal with at the time, counselling and talking helped me get through it.

Unfortunately in my case there was too much damage done and the fact that we had been growing apart for a very long time and also working with one another 24/7 made a major contribution to our relationship downfall.

No matter what there is always more than one reason for an affair and I learnt a lot more about it after going through counselling, Relate was very supportive and also individual counsellors and also a couple counsellor as well. Sexual therapists can also be recommended by Relate if they feel there is a need for couples.

When communication between two people stop then it is very easy to look outside of the relationship for that excitement factor and I can appreciate the fact that this is very common. I don't blame my ex anymore and I have no bitterness as it was one of those things.

I know it may be difficult for me to trust someone new but we have been apart now for almost 2 years and due to losing my dad in February I have not wanted to rush into a new relationship at the moment. It would have been 21 years this April and after almost 20 I think I gave it my best shot.

I have a beautiful 6 year old girl to look at every day and thank my lucky stars I have her.

Just keep talking and don't live with the guilt, you have done that for far too long.

Time to enjoy your family now.

Wish you well.

BFN

Country Woman

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