A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:The father of my child is willing to give up his rights of our daughter to me....which is a blessing (for me) he is about to lose as a father. I think he's trying to get out of as much of financial responsibility of our daughter as much as he can. I sent him copies of our daughter's medical bills (which is responsible for half of what he didn't want to pay), he also received a letter from the Child Support Department (which he was trying to file support on me when I am the one with custody of our daughter) stating they are closing the case because of false information they have received (now, I am trying to file a report with the Welfare Office for fraud in which is was getting extra money on his food stamp card for a month when my daughter is with me, etc. This man is 39 and doesn't know when to stop. He has two kids from his previous marriage and OMG!, they are in deseparate need of love and attention from their mother in which she needs to step up to the plate. I took over the responsibility as their father's girlfriend (at the time) to be a mother. I don't know whether or not if I should feel sorry for him because he pretty much lost everything (career in the navy, me and our daughter, our townhome, etc.). He guided himself the path of what he's leading towards depression, resent, regret, anger and what not. His kids are looking at him wondering why, Dad?! I feel like I should call him to let him know everything will be okay but am I pushing it?
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (24 June 2007):
 At the end of the day what do you want to happen?
This guy is not a sound father figure and what sort of message are you giving to your daughter if he is an infrequent dad who will not pay his way when it comes to his children.
No true father would see his children go without in any way shape or form.
This man has got himself into this situation because he is immature and nobody made him lose his career in the navy apart from himself.
Once a bad egg, always a bad egg.
Of course you feel for him, you wouldn't be much of a woman if you felt nothing for the father of your child. You once had something special but that is long gone by the sounds of things.
When he avoids paying half his share of medical bills for her then he really isn't worth wasting your time, energy or emotions or love over.
Concentrate on your daughter as you are the one consistent person in her life who is always there for her.
You will meet a man who will treat you and your daughter the way you deserve to be treated and if this guy is willing to give up all rights to his daughter then in my books he is no man at all. Who in their right mind would want to sacrifice a child's love which is adorable and to go through life knowing that you have a beautiful daughter that you have fathered but totally turned your back on does not at all compute in my brain but we are all different.
He is bailing out, when the ship is sinking he is the deserting rat, don't feel sorry for him, he brought it onto himself. You are not the guilty party in this, you have tried to be a mother to his two other children and he has let you knowing full well that he just doesn't care about any of his children.
Better off without him sweetheart. Stay strong and positive and look after yourself and your gorgeous little girl.
Always here whenever you need any of us OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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