A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband, who I love very much, constantly puts me down in a 'jokey' way. He never pays me any compliments and didn't want our baby, he stares at other women all the time and I feel like he is just waiting to get a British passport. However he has has never cheated on me as far as I can tell and he is a reliable man in many respects. Do you think the jokey attitude is to chip away at my confidence?
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (24 June 2007):
 Talk to him about it. It may be his sense of humour but if it hurts you there is no reason why you cant ask him to back off a little with the "jokey" put downs. Has he done it in front of other people? How have they reacted? Did they think he was joking or did they get offended too?
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (24 June 2007):
 I think you need to tell him that you don't like the jokey way he puts you down. If he is a foreigner and has a baby with you then does he feel like you made him have the baby and it wasn't a choice on his part?
I think even little put downs are unacceptable, how would he like it if you turned the table on him, even jokingly.
If you tell someone they are useless or stupid - even jokingly they eventually start to believe it.
Don't put up with it, you are in control and you need to find your inner strength again - even if you regain this for your child as they are the innocent one in all of this.
Don't be a doormat sweetheart, stand your ground and tell him you won't tolerate it anymore. If he knows that it is upsetting you and still continues then I think you know where he is coming from.
All men look, some do it more slyly than others as they are better at it, stare at good looking or fit men and see if he gets at all annoyed, what is good for the goose is certainly good for the gander.
You are an attractive, vibrant and beautiful person otherwise why would he be with you and you keep telling yourself how wonderful you are.
Hold old is your baby? We all go through a point of not seeing ourselves as attractive after having a child so start to put on some lippy and eyeshadow and just taking your baby for a walk in the pram and hold your head up high and just be glad to be here eh!
Take care and keep us posted eh.
BFN
Country Woman
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