A
female
age
36-40,
*oodlistener
writes:I have been with my partner for 5 years, married for just over a year. Our sex life is great, but he watches porn when i'm not there. We had sex last night, but when i went to work this morning he masterbated. I've asked him about it, he says every man does, do they? I always thought that if you are satisfied you don't need to.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): I understand what you're going through. And these women who have responded are right, especially Sevenlova. Its not necessarily the fact that he watches porn, but his consideration of you that matters. An answer you should get out of him for sure is why he does it. Most likely, (since you two have been together awhile and gotted married not too long ago) he's doing it cuz he's a guy. It probably has nothing to do directly with your relationship. All the best sweetie. :)
A
female
reader, Sevenlova  +, writes (14 June 2007):
 Its an ego thing...be glad that he does it rather than go out
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): Get in some girl-centred porn, some pictures of men with huge ones, bigger than his. Let him see how much they please you. Wait to see if he gets upset...which he will. Men can't stand the thing they want us to tolerate. My tongue is lightly in cheek but I have always wanted to try this - why don't you be first and let us know how you get on?!
Men like rude things more than women at this stage of history, that is how they are. I wonder whether future women could be conditioned into being much more stimulated by porn too. We are catching up in many ways as our roles change. Sometimes I think I see it starting to happen and if so I for one will be amused to see the tables turn. I can imagine the problem pages:
"My girlfriend spends all her time masturbating over pictures of men who are much younger and much better endowed than me. I feel I can not be satisfying her properly and I am losing my self confidence. I am thinking of having a penis enlargement". (As you know, plenty of women have breast enlargements because they don't feel comparatively big enough and I wonder how they got that idea?).
I just wish they could be more respectful and accept the truth that this activity can be hurtful to women, as it could be to men, it robs self esteem in excess. Some men could be more considerate about what they are doing. This is the era of me, me me, I can't help the way I am. But, it should not be so important that it is not possible to consider others feelings.
Contrary to popular ideas I know plenty of men who don't apparently do much with porn. I would expect that they probably make the odd rude internet forage, which is fine, but their partners don't consider it an issue. I think that forcing us to accept it is the mistake, most of us can just about live with a hint of it provided it is vaguely somewhere away on the far horizon.
In most households it used to consist of the odd magazine or film, but now bucketloads are instantly available on line. Avalanches of just about every imagineable thing and if people aren't well balanced or don't have the self-discipline to keep using it in check, like all excesses it gets paid for with a shortfall elsewhere.
This generation is the one that has had the sudden influx of porn, it is relatively new so it is not possible to say where it will lead. Your boyfriend says it is normal, which it is to an extent, but how much is normal? This is a new generation of young men and women, women often see this excess as a potential threat to normal partnerships and relationships - but who can tell whether that is the case just yet. It is not the fact that men like porn that is the problem to me, it is the extent of it and the lack of consideration.
Most people do agree though about the phenomenon of cause and effect. East too much and you will get fat, drink too much and you will get ill, porn too much and you will not be able to enjoy sex without it.
If it really bothers you, look for someone who is less reliant on porn. There is nothing so attractive as a person with passion and imagination, who is considerate. I don't mean a man who never looks at porn, just not one who needs it.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (7 June 2007):
 Just look at the statistics sweetheart, apparently men think about sex about every 30 seconds or something, wish that women had that sort of drive but we just have to get on with life.
We are the ones having the children, doing the housework, etc etc we don't have time to think about sex all day.
A lot of men do look at porn or get off to it and if he knows that you are busy perhaps he is trying not to pester you. My ex used to say that it was quicker for him if he needed relief so don't feel rejected in any way, it is just a fact of life.
However, if your sex life does start to deteriorate or you find things re the porn that becomes more intense to see then I would start to question exactly what is going on.
You and your partner have been together for quite some time now and are both still very young.
Don't stress too much about it right now.
Enjoy the time you have together and at least he is doing it to something on screen or a magazine and not a real other woman i.e. cheating on you so don't panic right now.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
female
reader, goodlistener +, writes (7 June 2007):
goodlistener is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your responces, you have answered direct but truthful. xxx.Thank you honeys!
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A
female
reader, myp  +, writes (7 June 2007):
 All men do masturbate even if thet are in healthy satisfying relationships. Its an issue of ego and independence and nothing strange or abnormal in a partnership. As for the porn, it all depends on how you feel about porn, if you think its a breech of trust and equate it with cheating then you two need to talk about that. But if you dont equate it with cheating then you probably dont have much to worry about because hes satisfying himself when you're not there to do the job, and NOT cheating on you. (which i do say myself is incredibly important)
Good Luck
-Myesha
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): it's not that he gone off you or that you don't turn him on its just men my man does it its horrible i hate it, but thats just the way it is everyone gets turned on bysomething or someone else. For example men can walk down the street and look at another women andfind them attractive and say that they would sleep with them others see porn as a way to improve the sex life and generally get turned on by others enjoying sex
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