He won't give me a chance because I remind him of his ex
Q. I've met a lovely man who like me is getting divorced. We've agreed were attracted to each other but he's now said he doesn't want a relationship because I'm too nice and remind him of his ex wife! What should I do? I've agreed to stay friends ...
A. 16 September 2011: if he is just coming out of a marriage and going through a divorce he may just want a bit of space on his own or dating around for a while rather than getting caught up in another relationship just yet, so yes, it is good if you do the same and not ... (read in full...)
How to tell if he's flirting in online chat
Q. If a guy is using emotes or smilies online when talking to you, is that flirting? For example this guy I like said how he was going to get a higher level than me in this game we play online together. So I said "Your still a noob :P" Then he said ...
A. 16 September 2011: he may well be flirting but smilies are not necessarily the sign. i use them a lot and it is just to make my comments be seen as friendly rather than brusque, text lacks the voice tone and body language you need to convey the good natured-ness of ... (read in full...)
How to keep a cheating husband interested
Q. hello and im so happy to meet you my name is blondie im 48 years old im a mother and a grandmother i have 11 grand children now iv been in my marrige now for ten years but from the word get go i've always known there was something very wrong bu...
A. 15 September 2011: does this really work for you though? it seems like rather than you being a strong woman, you have actually been broken down, emotionally by him. you don't bother asking him is he cheating because you know the answer and you you know you will never ... (read in full...)
When a male friend asks you 'what you up to all week' what does it mean
Q. I got asked this question 'what you up to all week' by an old male friend of mine from 20 years ago who has chatted to me on facebook recently. Is this his way of saying 'what are you doing this week, anything interesting' or, 'what are you to now' ...
A. 15 September 2011: impossible to say. why not just carry on chatting to him, make sure you seem open to the idea of going for a drink with him, make a point of chatting often to him, bring up the convo again by asking him what HE is doing this week and if he asks you ... (read in full...)
I have concerns about my son dating a Turkish girl
Q. I've got two children, a 17-year-old son and a 22-year-old daughter. We went on a family holiday to Turkey last month for 2 weeks, and it was pretty much great - Mediterranean sun, beach, breeze, cool air, etc. However, you normally hear abo...
A. 15 September 2011: i can understand your concerns, if they ever have children and then they split up she could take the children back to Turkey, but really i think you are worrying a little prematurely here, they have known each other for just a month and have spent ... (read in full...)
I have an orgasm hours after I masturbate.
Q. help! okay i need to know why i have late reaction to an organism. like ill masterbate and the next morning ill be havin a organsim during class!!!!!! am i doing something wrong??????...
A. 15 September 2011: there is a condition called persistent sexual arousal syndrome (PSAS) see your doctor about this, you may need psycho-sexual therapy to resolve this or it could be a sign of physical pathology. google PSAS for more info
x... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but my girlfriend has been with 10 men already - and shown me a video of herself and an ex
Q. me and my gf have been togehter for 6 months...she is my first gf whereas i'm her 11th bf...she has told me that shes been sexually active with all the 10 guys..i have had no past sexual experience...last week on my insistence she told me all about ...
A. 15 September 2011: maybe a break from women will be good at the moment but please do not let this unusual individual put you off ever wanting to have a relationship. i do not know ANYONE who would show their boyfriend a sex video of themselves with another man. your ... (read in full...)
My husband is very particular about how he likes oral, is this normal?
Q. Hello, I have written in before and gotten excellent advice. My last posting was about a week ago about my mom objecting to the way my husband and I treat each other. We have three kids (biological), 8, 5, and 2, and have the adoption of an 1...
A. 14 September 2011: many men like to see things in mirrors, he is not strange! men tend to be more interested in visual stuff than women (generally)
it is thoughtful of him to provide you with knee pads. imagine what your mum and sister would say if they saw you ... (read in full...)
My best friend doesn't like my boyfriend and I think I'm going to have to choose!
Q. Ok i,m in the usual best friend or Boyfriend Situation My best friend is good friends with my boyfriends sister. And it was her and his sister that set us up! We've been dating for about 2 months and we've had ups and downs. Now before when...
A. 13 September 2011: it is not your friends call to like him. he is YOUR boyfriend not hers so if you want to be with him she will just need to accept it. BUT you can understand why she doesn't like him can't you? he hurt you, she was there for you and then he managed ... (read in full...)
If we were only casual why is he bothering to explain why he broke up with me and he wants to still be friends?
Q. I was "dating" this guy for close to a year. Then suddenly he stopped talking to me. I tried to contact him with no response, finally I found out why, he is dating a new girl. I confronted him and he got angry, apparently in his head we had an ...
A. 13 September 2011: one of two reasons - he is either genuine when he says he does not want to spoil the friendship OR he does not want to 'burn his bridge' to you, in case he wants your attention again if things with the new girl don't work out
x... (read in full...)
Can Nair damage your private area?
Q. dear cupid, what are the risks associated with using nair on your bikini area (and i don't mean just the line...i mean everywhere)??? i've heard that it's pretty painful, but is there anything beyond that??? like, could it actually damage ...
A. 13 September 2011: nair works by breaking down the keratin of hair, which makes the hair dissolve. as skin also is made up of keratin the same thing can happen. depilatory chemicals can be extremely nasty if not used correctly, so always read the instructions and if ... (read in full...)
If a girl lets you do things for her, does it mean she likes you?
Q. I met this girl and she asks me to drive her places, and I helped her move. I also help her out by giving her advice. My best bud says if a girl is always looking to you to help her with stuff it means she likes you. I am not sure though. I really ...
A. 13 September 2011: it is not as simple as your friend says. this girl might like you and is asking for your help because it gives her an excuse to spend time with you, or she may just be taking advantage of you, knowing that you like her and will do anything for her. ... (read in full...)
I despise my married lover...he's a liar...so how do I get out of this one?
Q. How am I going to be able to last the next 7 weeks with my boyfriend when he makes my skin crawl? He is married and I've been seeing him for a couple of years. Earlier this year we booked a holiday for november but I'm having serious second t...
A. 13 September 2011: you can still go on the holiday but just avoid him as much as you can while there. even make arrangements to take a friend and spend all your time with them instead of him. this will give him a VERY CLEAR MESSAGE that no, the holiday will not be an ... (read in full...)
From start to finish in 4.5 months?
Q. I'll keep this short as possible. If a couple met and dated 4 1/2 months (long distance) then got married and had a kid within a year...what are the chances it wt wil. Work? Please help...thanks...
A. 13 September 2011: there is no exact science for this is there? but generally a couple should get to know each other as well as they possibly can before making a commitment to marriage. if he was cheating all the way through and if what you say is true that she ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but my girlfriend has been with 10 men already - and shown me a video of herself and an ex
Q. me and my gf have been togehter for 6 months...she is my first gf whereas i'm her 11th bf...she has told me that shes been sexually active with all the 10 guys..i have had no past sexual experience...last week on my insistence she told me all about ...
A. 13 September 2011: she showed you a video of herself giving someone a BJ?? there is honesty and there is THAT. no normal woman would show their virgin boyfriend a video like that, if she has any care or respect for you. is she trying to totally put you off the idea ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me and now I can't have sex with him because it is too painful for me
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for quite sometime now, but in the past he has cheated on me. Which affected the trust in our relationship, and sex is out of the question we never have sex anymore simply because when we do its so extremely painful! I ...
A. 13 September 2011: his cheating has damaged you emotionally and made you shut down from him which has made you physically shut down also. this shows that you are not over what he did. why are you still with him if you feel like this? you are so young, i do not know ... (read in full...)
I caught my fiancé's dad cheating
Q. Yesterday I caught my future father in law cheating, I know it would break my fiancé's heart if I told him, not to mention if his mother finds out, it will tear his family apart. I don't know what to do. I don't think I would ever say anything to ...
A. 13 September 2011: what a horrible situation to be in! if you are close to his dad i think you should tell him what you know and tell him that you don't want to tell your fiancé but that you also feel really bad keeping secrets from him. talk it over with his dad. it ... (read in full...)
Torn between old and new love
Q. My husband wants me back but I have a new boyfriend, my husband was perfect, wirlwind romance, great career, funny, never argued, handsome, took my daughter on like his own then one day I discovered he has been on internet dating sites my world ...
A. 13 September 2011: it sounds like you never got over your ex before getting involved with your boyfriend, so hence he does not really have a chance! your ex sounds like a real charmer, he's got the sense of humour, the chat, the prospects, the good looks, perfect... ... (read in full...)
How do I become more rough during sex?
Q. Okay my Agony Aunts, I come back with yet another Issue. My girlfri- well i should say my fiancee have been intimate for a few months now, we've bypassed the friend zone and foreplay and she tells me im not rough enough for her. Now im a genuinely ...
A. 13 September 2011: i think you should watch some porn, this will give you some tips on how to be more rough. if you have never done doggy before then you should try it to see if you are long enough, but generally doggy is said to be a good position for men with short ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is falling out of love with me
Q. Im feeling rather worried :( Im afraid my boyfriend may be having second thoughts about me, but doesnt want to admit it or hurt me. He was the one who came to me and made the effort to ask me out, he was so sweet at first, he always used to put ...
A. 12 September 2011: hi rebecca,
sorry to hear this, i know you feel terrible at the moment and you probably cannot imagine ever feeling any different but you will get over this, trust me. what you need to do is get out and about with your friends and family, plan fun ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me. I don't want to 'get over him' - I want him back!
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me on August 24th at 3:30 a.m. I miss him so much... At first he said he would come back soon that he just needed sometime to get his act together... Then he was married to this girl on facebook so i asked him if they were ...
A. 8 September 2011: if he loves, cares about and misses you, why did he break up with you? and are the reasons still present? of course you don't feel ready to get over him, you have only been broken up for a couple of weeks, it takes time to get over someone, and it ... (read in full...)
My ex has forgotten when my birthday is. Do I have a right to be peeved or am I making a big deal of nothing?
Q. My ex and me were together for just under six months. It's been several months now since we broke up. We've tried to be friends since then but it has been difficult for me because she ended it and then got a new boyfriend soon after. Anyway, t...
A. 8 September 2011: i think you are taking this too personally and there is no real need for you to feel insulted. she is your EX and you were only together a matter of months. it is not worth falling out over in my opinion. if you get nasty with her about this i ... (read in full...)
I lied to my online friend and I am worried she will find out
Q. Hi there,, I met a girl online a good couple years ago and we got on quite well, problem is, I lied about a lot - Including my age. I'm 18 now but according to my alter ego I should be 20. Now usually this wouldn't be a problem but after a while of...
A. 8 September 2011: if you only lied about your age then that is not REALLY a problem, lots of young people like to make themselves appear older if they are trying to attract attention from the opposite sex. but you lied about other stuff too? does she know the real ... (read in full...)
She lied to me about her sexual past and I can't get over it, please help me.
Q. Before my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time she told me I was going to be her first. While we were having sex I realized she was lying to me. Also, I did a lot of research about virginity and concluded that she was lying to me. She told ...
A. 8 September 2011: she has lied to you from the start and now bit and pieces of the truth are gradually coming out. what is she gonna admit to next?? and what was the panic attack for when you told her about your past sex life? its not that you have got a virgin ... (read in full...)
She likes, would date me....BUT she still wants to have sex with other people!!!
Q. Ok, this is a WEIRD one. But maybe you guys can help. See, I know this girl who is sort of promiscuous. Yet she's hott. And sweet. And so we been out a bit. Never slept together or anything because believe it or not, I dont think people should do...
A. 8 September 2011: so she's hot? that won't matter so much to you when she is out sleeping with all sorts and it hurts you coz you just want to be with her and no one else. you two have VERY different ideas about commitment, relationships, sex. you should leave her ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriends Favourite Perfume is his ex's
Q. Hi, I just wanted to run something by you girls and guys, see what you think. When I started going out with my guy we were talking about perfumes and stuff and he said that his favourite perfume was Flowerbomb.(this is a perfume ive always reall...
A. 8 September 2011: i really think you are reading too much into this. i have a favourite after shave and i love it if a guy even walks past me in the street wearing it. i know a few of my exes have worn it, but i cannot even remember which ones now. my love of that ... (read in full...)
How do I get these collectors to stop trying to locate my Bf's ex through me at the address where I now live?
Q. Im receiving mail that belongs to my bf's ex wife. She never lived here with him, so im guessing since she went bankrupt, collectors are still looking for her with my bf's last name. Is there a way to stop these mail or an easier way for me to re ...
A. 8 September 2011: your boyfriend can apply to for disassociation from her (relating to credit and debts), if he does not do this he could face problems in the future if he wants to get a loan or credit cards. in the meantime, just send any letters back to sender, ... (read in full...)
Why 3 years later can't I get over this girl who lied to me?
Q. I really need help... here is my story... I'm a 30 year old male who suffers with a social phobia and depression problems. About 3 years ago I decided to start meeting people on-line in the hope of finding a partner with similar interests. I met...
A. 6 September 2011: your social phobia and depression are the reason why you cannot put this liar in the past. are you getting professional help for your problems? i understand you are stuck in a cycle where you need friends to give you something else to focus on but ... (read in full...)
Is there hope he may still call after first date?
Q. So I recently met a guy at work, we flirted a couple of weeks, he asked for my number and invited me out. We went rock climbing indoors, it was fantastic but I broke a pretty bad sweat. We went to dinner after and the convo went well. There were no ...
A. 6 September 2011: he was probably nervous too and may feel like you were not really into him coz you were not close to him at the end of the date. i see no harm in sending him the text you mentioned. he will probably be really pleased to hear from you. if he doesn't ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to get pregnant!!!
Q. hi guys, I've been suffering from this for well over a year now. I can't get pregnant. Also I've not been having periods in over a year. Doctors have pretty much given up on trying to find out what's wrong so every couple of months I just have a ...
A. 6 September 2011: what sort of blood test are they giving you? if you are really serious about getting pregnant ask your doctor to refer you for infertility studies with a gynaecologist. your partner will have to produce a semen sample for them to test in case the ... (read in full...)
Why is my husband so short tempered???
Q. My husband is 33. I am 29. He gets into arguments with a lot of people. The new neighbor was doing something wrong, or not the way he would have done it. My husband walked over on a mission or mercy, as he called it, to help the guy out. The ...
A. 6 September 2011: is he a control freak? he needs to lighten up, mind his own business and let people make their own mistakes without letting it worry him. he is probably gonna get worse the old he gets too! does he have a stressful job? if he does it could be this ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a man to have an emotional affair with a male friend?
Q. So my husband has a lot of friends that he hangs out with regularly. Nice guys, really. But a few weeks ago a new guy joined the group and something very strange has happened. This guy is the "cool" or "bad boy" type of guy. We'll call him J...
A. 6 September 2011: impossible to know whats going on here.
could be a case of new friend comes into his life and its like being a kid again. the novelty might wear off, james might move onto someone else and they see less of each other.
maybe there is a woman in... (read in full...)
Why is my mom so upset about the way my husband and I treat each other?
Q. Hello, I am a 31 year old married woman. You have given me great advice in the past. Here is my problem: This is a little long with background. My father and my husband get along great. My dad usually calls him, son, when he talks to him; ...
A. 6 September 2011: your marriage sounds lovely! you and your husband love and respect each other, your mum and sister seem jealous because they are not loved up with their men like you are with yours. take no notice of them! its a shame they can't just be happy for ... (read in full...)
Do we all need space?
Q. Do we all need space from our partners? What exactly does it mean when your boyfriend says we need space, you have things to do with your kids and I also have my things to do ... ...
A. 6 September 2011: yeah we all need space, its not good to spend all your time with one person, you need to both have a life of your own too and then when you get together you have more to talk about
x... (read in full...)
My boyfriend had masturbated and then couldn't cum when we had sex. Is it ok that I am upset by this?
Q. My boyfriend recently masturbated in the toilet when I was round his house to porn. Usually porn doesn't bother me but I feel like he chose this over me and suddenly like i'm not hot enough. We went on to have sex later and he didn't cum and just ...
A. 6 September 2011: i'm not excusing what he did but sometimes masturbation is just easier than sex, he was able to have a quickie with himself but if he would have had sex with you this would have been more time consuming and he would have had to take your needs into ... (read in full...)
An insight about loneliness and relationships
Q. I recently had an insight (at least an insight for me) into loneliness and relationships which I thought I would share here on DC to bounce off other agony aunts and uncles and those who consult them. Recently I was contacted again by a woman...
A. 6 September 2011: good article shawncaff and its great that you have had this realization into what makes you tolerate all she has been throwing at you. people often use relationships to fill the void in their life caused by lack of friends and good family ... (read in full...)
Poor relations with my Father have corrupted every aspect of my life and I don't know what to do with Myself
Q. Hey everyone, I've had things a little bit rougher than most people in the developed world and I just discovered why. I have conquered many challenges in life but the task of being an adaquite son for my Father was a challenge that ultimately ...
A. 6 September 2011: you dad sounds like he has a personality disorder. he is unhappy with his own performance in life and he has used you as a target for his frustrations. you have absolutely done the right thing in moving away from him. make sure you get help though ... (read in full...)
Why does my BF have my name listed as "Christopher" on his phone? Could he be cheating on me?
Q. I just discovered that my boyfriend has me listed in his phone by a male name - Christopher, when clearly that is not my name. My name doesn't even start with the letter C. This is sooooooo very strange, and I was not happy about this. I asked ...
A. 6 September 2011: and i agree with the previous anon poster. you are the other woman, she is the primary one
x... (read in full...)
I would like to be more than friends, but she is a serial cheat and I worry that she would do the same to me
Q. We're both 16 and we've known each other for about 5 years and been best friends for about 2 years. We are very honest to each other and we've both admitted to liking each other however one of us or the other has always been in a relationship so ...
A. 6 September 2011: good! i am glad to hear you are feeling more positive and in less of a muddle now :) i hope it goes well for you. it says good things about you that you have stopped to consider the consequences instead of jumping in head first into a relationship ... (read in full...)
I would like to be more than friends, but she is a serial cheat and I worry that she would do the same to me
Q. We're both 16 and we've known each other for about 5 years and been best friends for about 2 years. We are very honest to each other and we've both admitted to liking each other however one of us or the other has always been in a relationship so ...
A. 6 September 2011: you're very welcome bpops. its a difficult subject to bring up, counselling coz some people don't recognise that they need help, she may just think that she cheats coz she is a bad person. i hope she can honestly open up to you about this though and ... (read in full...)
I don't usually date younger guys but I like this one. Shall I make an exception?
Q. So I like this guy...and I know for a fact that he likes me too..but he's a sophomore and I'm a senior...I've never even considered dating younger because of boys maturity levels in the first place. I've tried to reconsider because I do like him but ...
A. 6 September 2011: we have all heard that girls mature quicker than boys, but i think this is a sweeping and unfair generalisation. i reckon it depends entirely on the individual person. if you like him give him a chance. if he proves to be childish, re-think the ... (read in full...)
I would like to be more than friends, but she is a serial cheat and I worry that she would do the same to me
Q. We're both 16 and we've known each other for about 5 years and been best friends for about 2 years. We are very honest to each other and we've both admitted to liking each other however one of us or the other has always been in a relationship so ...
A. 6 September 2011: like i said bpops, many many people have fallen into the same trap of thinking they can be the one that saves a person (from themself) from what you now tell us about her upbringing this girl has got problems that i really don't think you are ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is falling out of love with me
Q. Im feeling rather worried :( Im afraid my boyfriend may be having second thoughts about me, but doesnt want to admit it or hurt me. He was the one who came to me and made the effort to ask me out, he was so sweet at first, he always used to put ...
A. 5 September 2011: its normal for people to be less attentive when they have been together for some time. when you first met he was all about impressing you and charming you, now he is more relaxed and sure about the relationship he does not feel the need to make so ... (read in full...)
I would like to be more than friends, but she is a serial cheat and I worry that she would do the same to me
Q. We're both 16 and we've known each other for about 5 years and been best friends for about 2 years. We are very honest to each other and we've both admitted to liking each other however one of us or the other has always been in a relationship so ...
A. 5 September 2011: if she is doing this to every guy she meets then it sounds like she has got some emotional problems, she craves attention and can't resist a new guy who shows an interest in her even though she has got a boyfriend. he problems probably have roots ... (read in full...)
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