A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I've had things a little bit rougher than most people in the developed world and I just discovered why. I have conquered many challenges in life but the task of being an adaquite son for my Father was a challenge that ultimately conquered me. It took a major accomplishment such as earning a black belt and an eagle scout just for him to even give me a pat on the back and I just could never please him in everyday life. Whenever he would come home from work he tell me everything that he didn't like about me and how I was nothing but a screw-up for an hour and thirty minutes, how his work life was horrible and how no one appreciated him for forty-five minutes and then how he wished that he wasn't born or how he desired to purchase a handgun and comite suicide for another hour and he did this to me everyday of my life for 13 years. He would always tell me about someone elses son or daughter and how he or she is superior to me in every way and how he wished that he could produce a kid of that quality but couldn't. I also struggled with Autism that I obtained in my early years from mercury poisioning and he blamed that on me also. He would complain and say '' Do you even realize how much more we have to do for you than other parents with kids your age, they don't have to struggle with their child having developmental problems so why should I?''. As bad as this was things got even more over the edge in my teen years. I was stuck in a private ''Christian'' high school which was more of a radical cult than anything else ''friends '' who acted like they respected me when they really didn't and my Father who not only discouraged me from dating girls by saying '' put off gals as long as you can stand it.'' but also told me that the vast majority of them love jerks and that they would not be interested in the type of boy I was. Not only would he do these things but he would also scorn me for even looking at someone of the opposite sex in an interested way saying '' Never fully let your eyes feast!''. To add insult to injury, I grew up in the South but I was completely isolated from its indigenous population up until high school when was Exposed to nothing but native trailer park kids who thought that I was a freak. They thought that I was a complete fruit cake because I didn't have a southern accent, was interested in German, South African, and Asian cultures, spoke two languages and honestly, and I do mean sincerely, thought that I was a gay guy because I played Soccer. I also trained in Taikwondo but I didn't know that I was being taught the Olympic WTF sport version and believed that it was also applicable for self-defense. When my classmates found out they wanted to pick a fight with me every second of the day. My ''friends'' were also weird because they really didn't want me to persue girls that liked me until they got a girlfriend themselves and they would also try to grab my testicles all the time. This all came to a breaking point when I commited a crime and attempted suicide at the same time when I was only 17. I have tried to commit suicide two more times since then and having my Father still say things like '' Your a curse, your a serpent, you posion everyone you touch and everyone would be better of if they had never met you! Do you realize how much better your Mother and I's life would be if we didn't decide to have you!?'' or '' Are you ever going to date before your 30!?, JEEZE!! Of coarse if I were female there's no way I'd date you. I really feel sorry for some gal that ends up with you!''. I have decided to cut my own Father out of my life in order to end my discouragement and to avoid a fourth attempt at suicide before I'm 24. Am I doing the right thing?
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female
reader, cheers  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 sorry to know about your situation. It's not your fault being born with autism. parents went thru all troubles to raise you up.It's being hard and not an easy road
Focus on yourself to develop maturely. Put hatred behind. be confidence and get a job. Prove that you are really Good and independent person
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011): I think you are doing the right thing, he might be your father but he acts like a bully.
He is very unhappy with his life and maybe has a lot of regrets, but you know what?! Thats his problem! You certainly were not put on earth to take abuse from anybody, let it be mother/ father/ friends/ colleagues.
You have made the first step by identifying your father as the root of your issues. So what are you going to do about it?
You have two options, continue in misery and become more depressed with whatever consequences that may bring. Or be brave distance yourself from your father and gain your confidence.
The latter sounds harsh, but your father has no respect for you as a young man. Everybody deserves respect, would he talk to some guy he didn't know like that?! Yeah I doubt it,
he is a very unhappy man and he is taking his anger and frustration out on you and his attitude is that you have to take it because he is the authoritive figure... nobody should put up with other people sh*t no matter who they are.
Its your responsibility to look after yourself and your mental health, you, nobody else. Your father is not going to change unless he openly admits to being a jerk by all means if he did, give him a chance to work things out.
You can't make him do this, so until he cops on cut him off for you own sake. It won't be easy but you owe it to yourself. Don't let this hold you back in life, your confidence is everything and NOBODY has the right to take that from you and its even worse when its a parent.
I wish you all the best and I hope you can put it behind you and live a happy, healthy and successful life.
Good Luck.x
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (6 September 2011):
 you dad sounds like he has a personality disorder. he is unhappy with his own performance in life and he has used you as a target for his frustrations. you have absolutely done the right thing in moving away from him. make sure you get help though to deal with the emotional damage that he has already done to you
x
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