A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Do we all need space from our partners? What exactly does it mean when your boyfriend says we need space, you have things to do with your kids and I also have my things to do ... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (6 September 2011):
 yeah we all need space, its not good to spend all your time with one person, you need to both have a life of your own too and then when you get together you have more to talk about
x
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 September 2011):
 Difficult to answer this question out of a precise context.
If your question just means : should couples spend ALL their free time together, my answer is no.
I think we all need space , many people are overcommitted and overstretched these days,- and even if they aren't ,and absolutely LOVE each other's company, I guess everybody needs some me time , to unwind or daydream or meditate or ... check posts on Dear Cupid.
But, a lot depends from lifestyle , schedule , and personality. Has he got a full time job and kids and chores and social obligations he had also before you etc ? Then yes,adding a relationship to the mix some times won't be easy.
Is he an unemployed loner who spends all his time in front of the TV smoking pot ? ( just an example of course )- Then, what does he need space for.
Also ,it depends from the timing, if the relationship is not new and so far you have been balancing things just fine, a sudden request for "space " is puzzling- or maybe a bad sign too.
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (6 September 2011):
 My short answer to this would be yes. Ask me a couple of years ago and I would have said no but that is an entirely different story. It can mean a variety of things but in this instance, with little else to go on, I am assuming it means he just wants space to do his own thing. This is perfectly natural and OK, people still remain individuals even within a partnership ergo its healthy if people are free to do their own thing once in a while. The danger of not having it is that one (or both) partners will end up feeling constricted and imprisoned in the relationship. This is also a danger even if both consent to this and can suffocate the relationship, its a bit unhealthy for partners not to have their own space once in a while in my eyes.
A dislike of giving the other space like this is usually framed within the context of insecurity or controlling behaviour (often, one begets the other). I really would try and avoid thinking too much into this, you have nothing to worry about, in the absence of anything else to suggest otherwise, i'd say its perfectly natural for this to happen once in a while :). Reassure yourself that it doesnt mean the things you are probably thinking it does. Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, happy140 +, writes (6 September 2011):
 You answered your own question with” you have things to do with your kids and I also have my things to do ...” Yes we all need space. My wife and I look at it this way, were two separate people when we met. We may be one entity now but I do not want to feel like I have to be in an arms reach 24/7. No one at your age needs a baby sitter for his or her relationship. By space we mean time to golf, time to watch TV alone, time to get into a hobby that may be time consuming. Women want time to have their nails done or go to the spa. We both want time to get out with our male/female friends. Having time away from our partner should make us stronger because our partner is freeing letting the other have a part of their life they had before marriage where we could do anything with reproductions. I do not mean sexual thing but things that make you still feel like an individual while still being 100% committed to you other. Space can and should be a good thing. We need to let loose and say and do things that we may not do with our other half, such as talk about the other sex. Men communicate differently when its just men just as women do.
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