A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'll keep this short as possible. If a couple met and dated 4 1/2 months (long distance) then got married and had a kid within a year...what are the chances it wt wil. Work? Please help...thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 September 2011):
 Like any other marriage, in this country, it has about a 50/50 chance of succeding beyond 5 years.....
A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 I just read the follow up. Very doubtful that will work.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (13 September 2011):
 there is no exact science for this is there? but generally a couple should get to know each other as well as they possibly can before making a commitment to marriage. if he was cheating all the way through and if what you say is true that she tricked him into pregnancy then they sound as bad as each other, so they may last, but it won't be an honest partnership
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 September 2011):
 I should have read the follow up
NOT a chance in hell.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 September 2011):
50/50 just like the rest of the world.
if you are asking and it's your situation I sense that something is already wrong???
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 Based on your follow up, pretty slim chances, because they began the relationship having issues that won't go away simply for having tied the knot.
Contrariously to many other posters, though, I think that with a coutship phase of only 4.5 months they were going to have definitely LESS chances of lasting than other people, even if they had started in perfect love and harmony.
4.5 months is a terribly short time to get to really know and figure out a person ,even in " real life " hanging out every day. Imagine in a LDR ! basically it 's like marrying a perfect stranger , you can have all sort of surprises , including not so good ones .
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 From your follow up, this is a dysfunctional relationship. That means, it isn't "working". As long as he was cheating it wasn't working, when she has to trap him (I think you're right to assume this) it wasn't working. If the relationship WAS working he'd never have cheated and she wouldn't feel the need to trap him to keep him.
So, forget about a "working relationship", we're talking about a relationship that goes on despite obvious issues. And, it will probably continue on despite these same issues. It won't be problem free, but they'll probably carry on anyway.
Try to be supportive of your friend if everything goes down the drain.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (13 September 2011):
They have just as good a shot at it as every other couple. It's a hit or miss game. Some hit and some miss, and there's never really any telling (aside from major red flags at the beginning of any dating stage) to whether it's going to be a hit or miss. However, I've found that it takes about a year to see if the person really is someone you want to be with or not. After a year you see better what you are working with.
However, once committed, the rules change, and it's all about how much you work on the relationship. No matter how long you dated before hand, unless you both put in the effort it won't work.
Look at arranged marriages where the couple have barely met before they marry. It works for them too, some are unhappy, sure, and they don't divorce like people in the West, but a lot are happy, because they put in the effort and know how much responsibility it is to be married and what is demanded of them in their position.
If you are a good wife, and he is a good husband, then you can make it through no matter the length of dating before marriage.
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A
male
reader, Thelaird1 +, writes (13 September 2011):
 There is no definitive answer to this question, as each relationship is different.
I know people who dated for years before marrying, then it failed. I also know people who moved very quickly and are still very happy.
To try to answer your question though:
I think that as long as they are respectful and genuinly love each other, then I dont see any reason why it can't work for them.
I wish them the best of luck. Especially when a child is involved
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 September 2011):
Same chance as anyone else really.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMaybe I should have stated.....it was a friend of mine. She dated him long distance (for 4.5 months)and he was found to be cheating all the way through it. I told her, and she said they had issues....then she got pregnant (I believe to trap him, she used birth conrol for 8 years and now forgets? Hmmmm) and he married her (I do think he liked her, not loved her, but I know she loved him) with that in mind.... What are her chances for this to work!
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female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (13 September 2011):
There is no way of knowing. There is no strict rule. But they did LDR then married then made a baby so things look good so far to have done this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): I would say pretty low chances it will work out. I mean they barely knew each other and already were getting married and having a kid together? if it did work out, it would be due in large part to luck.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (13 September 2011):
 as good as any ... maybe even better, as they have motivation to make it work ...
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): Same chance as any couple, there are no guarantees. If they felt loved up enough to marry and have a child there must be something there
Only red flag would be cos they married owing to the pregnancy rather than being in love.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (13 September 2011):
Statistically the chances are probably pretty much the same as the rest of the population, less than 50%. I think often where a relationship survives being a long distance apart then it already has been tested. Now you are together with a child its a different situation. In the beginning, especially with a ldr, just being together was all you needed. Now you need to find time to be together and fun things to do, you have to work on keeping a relationship great, it doesn't happen by chance!
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