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| Latest articles: Facebook: What does it really mean?
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 July 2010: Nothing! Several situations can be mistaken to mean something more, when they truly don't carry much significance. For example: The friend you've been crushing on for the last six months accepts your third attempt at a friend request, and...
What to do when the person you're attracted to is already taken.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 July 2010: Run the hell away. I've seen several questions of this nature on the site. It seems like a simple problem, although in reality it's not. It's complicated and messy, and almost always leaves one person's emotions in ruins while the other enjoys hav...
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I love him but he left me because of a compatibility test!
Q. Hi I need help. I am so confused. I have been dating this man for 10 mths. We met on match.com. We have had a great time together. Now he is questioning out compatability long term. He says I'm a wonderful person, good looking, kind, caring, I ...
A. 3 June 2010: Why would you want to be with someone that bases your relationship on a compatibility test? That's such a glaring red flag. If he really wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Instead, he fed you a sob story to get you to hang on, so that just ... (read in full...)
The guy I like is my dad's age! How do I tell my parents?
Q. Okay… I’ll try to make a long story (kind of) short here. I am 17, turning 18 in several months, and I’m a girl. There’s this guy I had a crush on from the time I was 14. He is 30 years older than me. I saw him on a regular basis for a couple of ...
A. 3 June 2010: There's a reason your parents wouldn't approve; the whole thing doesn't sound like a good idea. In my experience, men of that age who are not only interested but pursuing women that much younger than them are usually only looking for one thing, and ... (read in full...)
Was it all innocent or does he have something to hide?
Q. I worry my boyfriend has cheated on me when we first started going out, his ex girlfriend is also his best mate an they spend a lot of time together! If one stays round the others over night they will both stay in the same bed, I found this out afte...
A. 3 June 2010: He's most definitely cheating on you, and basically telling you so. What straight man would stay at another woman's house, especially one he was once and likely still is attracted to, and sleep in the same bed with her for any reason other than sex?... (read in full...)
He put it in me, am I still a virgin?
Q. Okay well tonight me and my boyfriend were fooling around and we decided to try do IT for the first time, i was a virgin he wasnt, well anyways he only put it in a bit but it really hurt soo i told him to stop, my question is am i still a virgin?, ...
A. 3 June 2010: No, you're not a virgin any more. You obviously need to learn more about sex before actually having it.... (read in full...)
Feeling inexperienced for my age and don't want to end up alone!
Q. Hello Everyone, Had a rough couple of days and really wanted to ask any advice. I'm 20 years old and have never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, still a virgin ... never really held hands with a guy. Only really told two guys I like them, bo...
A. 30 January 2010: Until recently I had been in the same situation, and I'm 22. Never had a boyfriend, and had only been kissed once. It was really upsetting, especially when I would get the chance to get to know someone better and ended up feeling like it wasn't ... (read in full...)
Married and bi. I want my wife to watch me have m2m relations, how can I convince her?
Q. Hey hi im a married male and im bi and i want her to watch me have sex with anouther guy but she says no any ideas how to get her to say yes or should i keep just having m2m sex behind her back?...
A. 30 January 2010: Being bi is never an excuse to cheat on your wife. It doesn't matter what their gender is, it's cheating and it's a disgusting thing to do to someone that loves you and trusts you. Get over it, you're married and she's already made it clear she's ... (read in full...)
After three years I am getting fed up with my boyfriends behaviour
Q. iv been with my boyfriend for 3 years in July, but feel like im the only one whoputs any effort into the relationship, i always go to his house, he always expects me to get up realli early and go to his in the morning for sex, he hardly ever comes ...
A. 30 January 2010: I agree with the other posters. If he was really interested in a relationship with you, he would make an effort to see you. As it is now, you're catering to him and he's reaping all the benefits without working for it. Leave him, find another job, ... (read in full...)
He's involved, wants nothing to do with love but is offering sex
Q. Hi, and wow I cannot believe I'm asking the internet for advice but here it goes: A few days ago [maybe even a week] I met this fantastic guy. Thing is, he is a bit older than I am and already has a girl friend. Here are the problems with the...
A. 26 November 2009: You'll only end up getting used for sex. That's all he wants from you, and he's even made it clear to you directly that sex is all he's after. It's never going to turn into something more, so don't delude yourself with hopes that you'll someday mean ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my current gf for the old fling? Or just wait to see what happens?
Q. I am a in my late 20s and find myself in a sticky situation. Currently dating a great girl with a good head on her shoulder, good job, and comes from the school of thought women should cater to the man and men are meant to be providers. Great cook ...
A. 25 November 2009: It's not partly your fault, it's entirely your fault for not having the sense or decency to tell this other woman you're already taken. You're considering leaving a woman that loves you and clearly wants to make you happy, just to explore a what-if ... (read in full...)
How do I get back my 9 inch penis?
Q. When i was a youmg man i was blessed with being well endowed with a 9 inch penis. I had no complaints and lots of complements on its size. A couple weeks ago i overheard my wife over the phone to her phone say that she missed my 9 and thinks it had ...
A. 24 November 2009: Ignore the ads. The only reason this is even an issue is because many companies out there profit from exploiting insecurity, and by promising things that usually aren't possible. 6 3/4 is still a decent size, considering the average is between 5 and ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for someone to have accessed porn because my router has no password? Or is my boyfriend lying to me?
Q. Hi there, I am looking for a little bit of advise. I have a very strong view on porn n I total hate it. Personal reasons of course. Do not want to offend anyone who enjoys it. Anyway, my boyfriend of 4 years knows my view on this but I went for a...
A. 24 November 2009: I think you're being lied to. You have no way of knowing it definitely wasn't him, because you were out. I suggest you have a calm talk with him about it, and point out you'd prefer him to be honest rather than lie and do things behind your back, ... (read in full...)
Guy feedback please - how much inexperience is a deal breaker?
Q. I feel a little stupid asking this, but I'm starting to become worried. I've never been an overly social person. I'm the type of girl who would prefer staying home and watching a movie, reading a book, studying, or playing a video game rathe...
A. 24 November 2009: I'm not a guy, but I'd like to let you know you're not alone. I'm 22 and until recently, had been in the same situation. Before meeting my current (and also first, ever) boyfriend, I had only been kissed once. Yes, once. It was back when I was 16 ... (read in full...)
We've been 'dating' for 2 years and he still doesn't want to make it official
Q. I have been dating this guy for almost two years now. keyword dating. We have never been official boyfriend and girlfriend, though we act like it and call each other it. we both have made many mistakes in this relationship and have gone our seperate ...
A. 24 November 2009: You're right, it makes no sense that he says he wants to be exclusive but doesn't want to call you his girlfriend. There's definitely something going on he's not telling you, and sadly I doubt he'll ever tell you why he feels that way.
You s... (read in full...)
He says he wants to be friends only, but he seems to want more
Q. I've never done this before, but I always come to this site so I figured I'd try... I met this guy in August. Initially I had my doubts, but I put aside the superficials and really looked at him as a person and began to fall for him. The phys...
A. 21 November 2009: When men say they don't want a relationship but still act interested in you, it's because they want guilt-free sex without any complications or strings attached. If he really wanted to be in a relationship with you, he would find a way to make it ... (read in full...)
How did I let my friend know I just want to be friends?!
Q. Hello everyone i have a question for you all. I am 29 and i have a late 40s guys after me and i have done told him all i can be with him is friends! We Have Slept Together a time are two! and i just can not see myself with him in a relationship i ...
A. 25 October 2009: Sleeping with someone only to say you want to be friends afterwards would confuse anyone. He probably thinks you can be convinced otherwise, since you've already slept with him once or twice before. Reduce your contact with him to the bare minimum ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to not be ready for sex after 4 years together?
Q. Is it wrong for me to not be ready for sex when my boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years on and off? My boyfriend keeps breaking up with me for the non-sex part and than wants to get back together with me. We had around 5 breakups. Each ...
A. 24 October 2009: It's not wrong. That's your instinct telling you not to get even more emotionally attached to a man that doesn't even respect you enough to be patient and understanding. Why would you want to marry someone so selfish? The fact that you keep breaking ... (read in full...)
He says he does not need a girlfriend. Why the mixed signals?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a little over a year now, and it is great for the most part. He just still does not want to say we are boyfriend and girlfriend. He says that he has his kids and he does not need a girlfriend. He is sending me mixed ...
A. 13 October 2009: Taking you out on dates and going on trips with you doesn't necessarily mean he thinks you two are in a committed relationship. The fact that he won't call you his girlfriend and even makes several excuses why he doesn't want to is a pretty clear ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend makes me so anxious its affecting my body
Q. I am 27 and my boyfriend is 31. I am very happy sexually, my boyfriend is not. He says he is then he says he isn't. We've been going through a rough patch (and I mean he's been very verbally abusive) and my mind and body have been thrown very...
A. 12 October 2009: Get out of that relationship, it's obviously bad for your health. Stand up for yourself, find someone that will respect you and treat you right. ... (read in full...)
Please help me ! Is sweet guy really sweet or just really smooth ?
Q. Ok, so this is going to be long and drawn out, so bear with me. So, I got out of a 5 year relationship about a month ago. There is a guy that I work with and have been friends with for a few months that started showing genuine interest (I am in my...
A. 12 October 2009: While there's a possibility he really is just looking to take things a little slower, I think it's more likely he was mostly interested in sex. Certain men are all about sweet talk when you've got something they want but can't have yet. Also, when ... (read in full...)
Why do I attract pieces of shit?
Q. WHY DO I ATTRACT PIECES OF SHIT? I'm having a total break-down! I've been reflection on stuff and I want to scream...........is it me? what am i doing wrong? here's the story: I was with my ex for 13 years!!!(hs bf). He did NOTHING! I went ...
A. 11 October 2009: You're too passive, and assholes like those two men will surely pick up on that and use it to their advantage. It's not entirely your fault, that second idiot was clearly manipulating you and using your insecurities against you.
Make it clear yo... (read in full...)
How do I make being with my wife's sister happen?
Q. i had a chance to be intimate with my wife's sister about 2years ago, and i didn't, now i am regretful that i didn't. i am regretful because i am overwhelmly in love with her. i think about her everyday. i pray and ask God to make a way that He wil...
A. 10 October 2009: I don't know your situation, but if your wife is still alive and well, what would ever make you think doing such a thing is acceptable? It's incredibly sneaky and dishonest.
If you have any interest in staying married, force yourself to get over... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I had sex without protection, but I had my period. Could I be pregnant anyway?
Q. okay so me an my boyfriend had sex without a condom cuz we didnt have 1 like a week and a half ago. he pulled out wenever he was ganna cum and ive had my period already but cud i still b pregnant? because hes ben freakin out cuz ppl have made it ...
A. 10 October 2009: It's obvious you're not mature enough to handle the complications that come with having sex. Rather than sleeping with what I'm guessing is a 26 year old man, you should be educating yourself about sex before actually having it. Ignorance is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend insults me and punched me in the back!
Q. My boyfriend of almost two years has a huge insecurity about how he compares to other men. I have reassured him (for these two years) that he is the man I want and who I want to be with - oh, and I am 26, he is 30. Last night we were out to...
A. 10 October 2009: He's exploiting your insecurities and using manipulative intimidation tactics to ensure you're afraid to leave, because he can't face his own insecurity and needs to blame everything on someone else. He'll never stop, and will likely get worse as ... (read in full...)
Should I pick up the next time he calls?
Q. HELLO ! everyone. Ok I have been talking to a guy for about a month now we've only went out once but we've had sex twice. He has a kid and a demanding job. I don't really see him and hardly talk to him. But everytime he time he hits me up I pick up ...
A. 9 October 2009: I agree with the previous poster, right now you're making yourself too available. You're teaching him to see you as something easy and convenient, not someone he has to put effort towards and win over. Distance yourself a bit, see what he does. ... (read in full...)
I'm a teenage guy and I have no idea if I'm gay or straight.
Q. Im a young guy, and i have always had sexual urges towards men.I also have sexual urges towards women but not as strong. However I have been completely and utterly in love with women, but my sexual desires towards men have gone unchanged.I have ...
A. 9 October 2009: Bisexuality is much more varied than most people seem to think, and there are many different levels of it. One person may be a little more heterosexual than homosexual, another may be the opposite. You can also be mostly hetero/homosexual, but still ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to leave his girlfriend for me?
Q. hi guys, Ok your all going to think im total mad for this but i really cant help it, Im doing everything for my ex bf, who dumped me coming upto a yr now, i give him money sometimes when he really needs it, buys him drinks and will always l...
A. 9 October 2009: He's not even worth the effort. He's clearly using you, and you continue to allow it by giving him everything he wants, without the complications and attachment that a relationship would bring. Aside from his lack of decency and a conscience, the ... (read in full...)
Either make me your girlfriend or leave me alone?
Q. Hello so Ive been dating this guy for almost 2 years and not to long ago we went back to campus of our school. And all the sudden he brks up w me but acts like nothing happened and invites me over keeps in touch but less and also hangs w his friends ...
A. 9 October 2009: Why would you want him to be your boyfriend? It sounds like he doesn't treat you right at all, and only wants to speak to you when it's convenient. Move on and find someone else, someone that will treat you with respect.... (read in full...)
Been with boyfriend for 5 years and he still hasn't proposed!
Q. hey all!! Well my issue is that I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and he still hasnt proposed. He came to FL where I was living to train for work, that is where I met him, he was asked to help take over a family business in NH so he ...
A. 8 October 2009: Maybe he's not ready, or maybe his issue is centered more around money. It's difficult to know, because it could be a number of things. I know this is not something you'd like to hear, but there's a possibility he may never propose.
Unfor... (read in full...)
How likely is it that he will stop wanting to see me because I need to lose a few pounds?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 2.5 months. Last night I was at his house and we were messing around and he started to undress me. Just before we started dating I gained about 10 lbs, and even though I know my weight/body is average, I'm very ...
A. 6 October 2009: Insecurity and self-consciousness always show through, unfortunately. Confidence is attractive, so it makes sense that the opposite would be unattractive, right? Your insecurity is more likely to turn him off than a few extra pounds.... (read in full...)
Neighbours husband caught me on video with his wife. Now he wants a threesome!
Q. I have been married 6 years and have 2 kids, one is almost 2 and the other is 4 years old. My wife has been too tired to have sex for more than 8 months now and I finally gave into my urges. It was a hot Sunday afternoon two weeks ago and I ...
A. 6 October 2009: To be completely honest, you're getting what you deserve. Such a serious mistake is naturally going to bring complications along with it. You should be more concerned with telling your wife the truth in the most gentle way possible, because she'll ... (read in full...)
Once we had sex he changed.Does he see me as nothing?
Q. Okay there is this guy that I really like. If you've read one of my similar posts I stated that he was ignoring me. I gave my virginity to him and afterwards he started ignoring me. I told him that I really liked him but he doesn't want to hear it. ...
A. 6 October 2009: It doesn't matter how much you like someone, they're going to do whatever they can get away with, as long as you let them. You're teaching this boy that it's okay to use you, because in spite of being treated like a piece of meat you're still ... (read in full...)
31 year old and an 18 year old???
Q. hey I'm turning 18 in october and i've been head over heels for a former teacher that I had a while ago. He's turning 31 this year i think. would it be ok if i dated a 31 yr old once i graduated high school. cuz in school will def be wrong even ...
A. 27 September 2009: Honestly? You sound a bit too naive to be dating a 31 year old man. ... (read in full...)
Wanting a phone sex relationship to be more
Q. I have been in a on and off again phone sex type relationship with an older man ever since i was 15, i'm now 17 and he is 40 years old and divorced with two kids, issue is, i am starting to fall really hard for him. i want more from it, but, i'm not ...
A. 25 September 2009: Why bother? He's clearly just using you. If he cared about anything more than what's between your legs you would likely know already.... (read in full...)
Why does he stare so much and contradict himself?
Q. Ok, so I've liked this man for about 5 years and we became friends about 2 years ago. Before we became friends he would stare at me..watch me as if he's watching every move I make. Now we are friends, we've got into a couple of arguments, one 2 ...
A. 21 September 2009: Most likely because you made it very clear to him that you're very naive, by telling him you're in love with him without even being involved. You're likely in lust, not love. Move on and find someone else.... (read in full...)
Will reverse psychology work to get him back?
Q. Still trying to get the ex back. We got into an argument because i think i rushed into things to quickly and this is what he sent me on a tex message. " I'm not lookig for a relationship and you are, so I think it would be better if we just didn'...
A. 21 September 2009: Using manipulative tactics like this won't work in the long run. It also doesn't help that your letter to him is clearly insincere and exaggerated.
You may say you're all right with his stance on things, but it'll eventually become obvious you were... (read in full...)
Has my sexuality already been chosen for me?
Q. i have two worries here 1)can i really choose or is sexuality something that has already been chosen for me? 2)But is it possible to just live with love? Firstly, im not exactly sure what is my true sexuality. From around the age of 10, i ...
A. 19 September 2009: Being a bisexual woman, I'd like to offer my perspective on your situation:
Who you find attractive isn't always something you can control, but you can definitely choose whether you act on it or not. It sounds to me as though you may be bi, lean... (read in full...)
My girlfriend refuses to wax her upper lip hair, and it is my one major turn off. Now I don't feel attracted to her!
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 6 years now, and I love her deeply. She has always gotten a lot of upper lip hair, but she usually will wax it over time. Now however, she said she's done waxing and doesn't feel like she needs to. I kno...
A. 19 September 2009: You're definitely not accepting her for all her flaws, otherwise this wouldn't be such a big issue for you. Many women have facial hair, it's not exactly uncommon.
I understand there are things we sometimes have a hard time getting past, but they... (read in full...)
My wife is childish, I want her to be more mature!
Q. Hi, I am getting only little sex in marriage because 1. When we have sex, my wife would complaint bout pain and would ask me to slow down and other cues which discourage me from having sex next time for the fear that it would repeat 2. ...
A. 1 September 2009: You say your wife is immature, yet you clearly act like a child yourself. Instead of being selfish and worrying only about your needs, you should be concerned for your wife. Pain during sex isn't normal, and there could be serious medical problems ... (read in full...)
Is 2 weeks of dating too soon to express my concerns about his facebook?
Q. I am seeing a guy i met on the internet, he has many female friends on facebook who are younger and prettier than me. I am jelous of this, and wonder why he needs to flirt with them? I dont know if hes met any of them. We have only been together for ...
A. 1 September 2009: Two weeks a bit early to feel jealous, and it sounds as though you're already possessive of him. Try not to worry about it for a while, see what happens.... (read in full...)
My boyfriends much more serious about our relationship than I am, and I don't want to lead him on. What should I do?
Q. I’m really confused could really do with some advice please, its doing my head in, cant bear to talk to anyone I know about it, thanks in advance for any feedback I really appreciate it! Well… I’m in a relationship with this guy have been for 8 ...
A. 25 August 2009: It's much too early to tell if this is how he'll always be. He might back off after a while. If you really like him in more than a strictly platonic way, wait a bit and see how it goes. If you'd only like him as a friend I don't really see the point ... (read in full...)
Need to get my rocks off before settling down... but it may be too late
Q. Ok, so my fiance has pretty much made me feel as though I'm Satan himself for even considering asking questions like this, but here it goes. We got engaged in February and I really love this girl, I want to marry her (hence the engagement... duh). ...
A. 25 August 2009: It's typical of men that are mentally immature to take the route of playing the victim when they're not getting what they want. You're basically telling your fiancee she's not good enough. You obviously shouldn't be getting married to anyone if ... (read in full...)
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