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*anthic

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I make it a point in life to be as open-minded and accepting as I possibly can be, and regardless of the situation will attempt to see things from all sides. I firmly believe in being fair and blunt; sugarcoating leads to damaging results in spite of meaning well.

Latest articles:

Facebook: What does it really mean?

This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

11 July 2010: Nothing! Several situations can be mistaken to mean something more, when they truly don't carry much significance. For example: The friend you've been crushing on for the last six months accepts your third attempt at a friend request, and...

What to do when the person you're attracted to is already taken.

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

7 July 2010: Run the hell away. I've seen several questions of this nature on the site. It seems like a simple problem, although in reality it's not. It's complicated and messy, and almost always leaves one person's emotions in ruins while the other enjoys hav...

< Prev345678910111213Next > [19 pages, 730 answers]

Why do women sometimes not answer when you call or text them?

Q.   Alright, this is beginning to annoy me. Alright, so I'm a good looking dude, funny, and I can sing really well too. I get girls phone numbers and then when you call them they don't answer? What is up with that? Why give someone your number then not ...

A.   4 November 2010: Hm. That may be one of the main reasons some aren't calling back, actually. They could either think you're trying to cover ulterior motives by acting like you just want to be friends, or they could be the type to lose interest because you're not ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend issues with attention from other guys

Q.   I have a girlfriend of about 3 months, but have dated for 6 months prior. We have had our fair share of fights yet care about each other enough to keep it going. She has always had the tendency to seek attention, and it is bothering to me as it ...

A.   3 November 2010: When someone seeks attention, it's because they have a need to feel special and validated. In some people, it's almost compulsive. Getting attention of any kind feeds into that need, regardless of who it's coming from or why they're getting it. ... (read in full...)

I love my boyfriend but he is smothering me

Q.   My boyfriend and i have been together for about 3 years, our whole relationship has been messy. I am 23 years old ( mature for age) and he is 33. Previously been married and has a child with her, she is 9. We meet at work and he cheated on his ...

A.   3 November 2010: He cheated on his wife to be with you. That alone is a huge red flag, and things shouldn't have gone any further than the moment you knew he wanted to be with you in spite of being married. If he'd cheat on her, he's going to cheat on you too, and ... (read in full...)

Does getting in a rebound relationship work?

Q.   I want to get over my ex and want to know does the rebound actually work?...

A.   3 November 2010: Another relationship may be a distraction for a short time, but it's not going to magically make you get over your ex. Instead, you'd be selfishly using someone that could be genuinely interested in being with you, and the issues you're having with ... (read in full...)

Why do women sometimes not answer when you call or text them?

Q.   Alright, this is beginning to annoy me. Alright, so I'm a good looking dude, funny, and I can sing really well too. I get girls phone numbers and then when you call them they don't answer? What is up with that? Why give someone your number then not ...

A.   3 November 2010: When you call, do you leave a message or do you hang up? Most women aren't going to return a call to a number they don't recognize. Without a message letting them know who you are, they're more likely to assume it was a wrong number. If they do ... (read in full...)

I'm having feelings for my gay friend... we just "click!"

Q.   Hello. I am a somewhat happily married woman who has never cheated on my husband. My husband is very jealous and can be somewhat abusive at times. We do not do much seperately for that reason. He does not seem like he trusts me at all. I truly ...

A.   2 November 2010: It depends on what you really want. Would you rather keep the friendship or risk losing it for something that could turn out be an amazing relationship? Either way, you definitely don't sound happy in your marriage and need to sort things out with ... (read in full...)

I'm 16 and think I'm in love with my 23 year old boyfriend

Q.   Hi, I'm 16 and I've been talking to a much older guy for about 3 years now. I really like him and feel like I'm in love with him. I know he knows I have a thing for him and he did say he does too but it's hard because of the age and a few other ...

A.   31 October 2010: Am I correct in assuming the reason you're posting this question again is because no one told you what you wanted to hear? Feeling the need to point out your maturity accomplishes the exact opposite, in that it makes you look even less mature... (read in full...)

One-time FWB seems to be behaving differently -- am I reading too much into it?

Q.   I was recently talking to a male friend, who used to be a kind of FWB, so to speak. That started when we met up after getting back in touch on a social networking site. This casual thing lasted about 6 months or so, we saw each other maybe 5 or 6 ...

A.   31 October 2010: Trust your first instinct, he's more than likely pretending to be more interested so you'll be more likely to sleep with him again. If he really wanted more than sex, he would've pursued a proper relationship with you the first time around. Drop ... (read in full...)

He asked me why I broke up with him. Should I tell him?

Q.   I've been seeing a man for just 7 weeks. After spending more and more time with him, I realized that he makes rude comments, says condescending things, interrupts conversations to be self-promoting, and is generally more antagonizing than ...

A.   31 October 2010: Yes, it would be best to tell him. Clearly he's not aware his actions are off-putting.... (read in full...)

I don't understand why he has stayed when he has no love in his heart for me.

Q.   Hi I am in the strangest relationship i have ever been in. This man is married but please no telling me i am a home wrecker because that is not the case here, I have been in this relationship for many years this man doesn't love me but he knows i ...

A.   30 October 2010: He stays with you because it's convenient for him. He gets the full attention and love of two women, while you only get half of him. You don't ask for more than to be only second best, you simply give him what he wants. What incentive does he have ... (read in full...)

Getting over my ex is hard!

Q.   We've been broken up for 3 months now. We only went out for two months (he was my first boyfriend) and that might mean it isn't that big of a deal to others who've experienced longer relationships...but I still felt for him. That should account for ...

A.   30 October 2010: As the saying goes, you'll always love your first. He'll always be etched into your memory because you shared something with him that you hadn't yet shared with anyone else. Unfortunately, he led you to believe the relationship was going somewhere ... (read in full...)

Should I wait for him to choose between her and I?

Q.   Should I wait for him to choose? I was dating a guy for a while, we were first very good friends. Things were okay but then he felt I was nagging and complaining all the time, also, not supportive of his career. Because of those reasons he chose...

A.   30 October 2010: You've given him a year to decide, yet this other girl is still in the picture? If he can't drop her and fully commit to you and only you, he's not worth the time. Is the reason you kept leaving because he was still hanging on to her or someone ... (read in full...)

I trusted him completely and all he wanted was sex

Q.   Hello All~Thank You beforehand for taking the time to view and possibly extend me a bit of advice. I befriended an individual on an online dating site who I had come to trust at the highest level that I had ever trusted. With tour very first conve...

A.   30 October 2010: I believe you trusted him too much, too easily and too soon. It seems as though your view of other people (and men in particular) is so negative that the moment someone who doesn't instantly objectify you comes along, they gain your complete ... (read in full...)

Why is he still texting me, if he isn't interested?

Q.   I met this guy at a bar a few weeks ago, we got chatting and one thing led to another. Afterwards I though it would just be a one night stand, but he added me on facebook and asked for my number. We have slept together a few times since. Anyway, the ...

A.   30 October 2010: He's interested in sex, nothing more. Ask him if he'd like to come over, or would like to meet at his place. If he jumps at the chance to see you then, it's because he's only interested in one thing. If not, he may have lost interest in seeing you ... (read in full...)

Is texting your girlfriend's friend behind her back classed as cheating?

Q.   I need to know if you have been with your partner for a few years,and you find out that hes been texting one of your friends both doing this behind your back but no sexual contact is this classed as cheating?...

A.   29 October 2010: Whether it's cheating or not they both kept this a secret from you, which means something was likely going on between them. Why else would they both feel the need to hide the fact that they were talking to each other?... (read in full...)

Mom asked if she made me "vocal"? What does this mean?

Q.   I tried asking this question before but i guess i needed more info. I was in a drive thru with my mom and i was yelling through the window that the resturant across the street was faster.lol. I loudly said the our nieghbor needed to quit putting ...

A.   29 October 2010: She's wondering if something she did (or didn't do) while raising you is what brought out such obnoxious behaviour. You may think it's just you being your opinionated self, but to everyone else this behavior makes you look like a spoiled brat with ... (read in full...)

How can you tell if someone is trying to manipulate you?

Q.   How can you tell if a guy is trying to manipulate you? I ask because i feel like a guy "friend" who is already taken is trying to manipulate me to get what he wants. E.g trying to make me feel guilty, over complimenting me etc... How c...

A.   29 October 2010: Yeah, he's definitely being manipulative. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be saying those things while still involved with his girlfriend. It sounds like he's trying to guilt you into visiting only so he can further guilt you into having some 'fun' on the ... (read in full...)

How can you tell if someone is trying to manipulate you?

Q.   How can you tell if a guy is trying to manipulate you? I ask because i feel like a guy "friend" who is already taken is trying to manipulate me to get what he wants. E.g trying to make me feel guilty, over complimenting me etc... How c...

A.   29 October 2010: If something doesn't feel right, it's more than likely that it's not. Has he always been that way, or is this a sudden change? Usually, when someone is overly nice and comes on a bit too strong, it's because they're trying gain your trust qu... (read in full...)

What does this reaction mean?

Q.   What does it mean when somebody who sees you stiffens and walks of quickly?...

A.   29 October 2010: It means they don't want to speak to you.... (read in full...)

I want my married lover to take off his wedding ring when he's out with me

Q.   ok yall i have been dating this man for a least a years and some months! however our relationship is getting deeper and deeper everyday! when the two some us started dating we both agree to no feeling no attachment ! now that time change words have ...

A.   29 October 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-to-do-when-the-person-youre-attracted.html... (read in full...)

Second date, still no intimacy, what am I doing wrong?

Q.   So, went on a second date tonight with a girl. It started off well, went to "trivia night" at a bar, she was responsive, pretty indicative that we both are still into each other from the first date... However, as the night went on, it felt li...

A.   29 October 2010: I think part of the problem here is that you're putting too much into this too soon. Try not to worry about messing things because it'll only make you tense and nervous around her. Also, if by 'somewhere private' you mean your place, that wouldn't ... (read in full...)

Is he gay or straight?

Q.   hello Hi i'm bisexual ok and I have a friend who claimed not bisexual but he said he's cool to snuggle cuddle with me like really close no space at all, which is weird. do you think any straight man on earth would allowed this? well i still dont ...

A.   28 October 2010: He may just be the touchy-feely type, and really isn't gay. It's not common, but some people just like to feel physically close to the people they're emotionally close to. Besides, if he really was gay and attracted to you, I doubt he'd hesitate to ... (read in full...)

Is he just friendly or is he working toward something more when we see each other?

Q.   Reunited with an old friend. Mostly through fb and text. I will see him in November and have developed quite the crush. While neither of us has said anything he ALWAYS responds to my messages REALLY QUICKLY and uses lots of smiley faces. Is he ...

A.   28 October 2010: He could just be the type to be really friendly, I wouldn't put too much thought into it until you meet and see how he acts around you in person.... (read in full...)

Second date, still no intimacy, what am I doing wrong?

Q.   So, went on a second date tonight with a girl. It started off well, went to "trivia night" at a bar, she was responsive, pretty indicative that we both are still into each other from the first date... However, as the night went on, it felt li...

A.   28 October 2010: You've only had two dates. There's nothing to be concerned about at this stage, unless she's completely cold and doesn't seem interested in you. She may be shy, or just isn't the type to be more physical until you've been on a few dates, not two. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wanted a break and said we may get back together in the future

Q.   What does it mean when a guys he needs a break and says we may get back together, but we may not? We had been dating for 14 months and were suppose to be getting married this summer. We broke up about three weeks ago. He had said I was the one for ...

A.   23 October 2010: Whether he really is depressed or just wants to play the field before making a big commitment, it's not fair of him to expect you to wait indefinitely while he makes up his mind. Treat this as a break up, date other people in the meantime.... (read in full...)

Is this a bad sign? Lack of eye contact

Q.   Hi there I am worried about something but it sounds trivial. My boyfriend hardly ever makes prolonged eye contact with me. I think he does love me because he tells me he does, and he puts me first. Plus we love to be in each others company, but...

A.   22 October 2010: I'd say it's shyness more than anything. I was the same way with someone I once dated, and eventually got over being uncomfortable because the length of time gradually built up. Your boyfriend likely just needs a chance to get used to prolonged eye ... (read in full...)

Why do women want to stay friends with their ex?

Q.   This one is for the females. Please enlighten me or tell me if this is true. What is with the obsession in remaining friends with the ex boyfriends? Do all women do this? For those that say yes, why?!   I have never remained "friends" with a...

A.   22 October 2010: I don't know about other women, but I could never stay friends with anyone I once dated seriously. Too many complicated emotions are involved. I believe in making a clean break, staying friends would only slow or prevent the healing process after a ... (read in full...)

How can I forgive him for moving away?

Q.   How do I move past the pain? My boyfriend was with me for a year and then left me to go to university 250 miles away. I'm at university but i stayed at home and i can only see him every three-six weeks. We used to spend every single day together...

A.   22 October 2010: You need to realize he hasn't truly done anything wrong by temporarily moving away, and therefore shouldn't have to ask for forgiveness. He made the choice to go to a school far away just as you made the choice to go to one near home. It wouldn't be ... (read in full...)

Sweden verses UK

Q.   My boyfriend is Swedish and I'm English. He thinks England is backward and old. He liked some parts of it but generally I got the feeling that he was disappointed. It annoys me because he keeps yapping on and on about Sweden and how amazing e...

A.   22 October 2010: Tell him if he won't shut up, you're going to break up with him. Some people just like to complain because they have nothing better to talk about, and it definitely sounds like he's that type. There's no reason for him to be so obnoxious and look ... (read in full...)

How do I prove I didn't have sex when I woke up naked next to her?

Q.   How do I prove I didn't have sex with this girl when I woke up naked next to her. I can't remember anything from the night before or the morning. the only thing I do remember is mid afternoon....

A.   22 October 2010: You can't. How can you even be sure nothing happened if you can't remember anything from the night before?... (read in full...)

My friend set us up, but he came on too strong

Q.   i dont know how to handle this. i have met up with this guy a couple of times. one of my friends has tried to set us up. he has never had a girlfriend, even though he is in his 30's, but i have dated a few men. i dont feel attracted to him, but he ...

A.   22 October 2010: Tell him you're not interested and be done with it, you won't offend your friend if she knows you just aren't attracted to him. If you continue to be polite rather than tell him how you feel directly, he won't get the hint and will only keep ... (read in full...)

Tempted to break up with her for someone else but what if it doesn't work out?

Q.   Using an old account, currently 18. Hmm, well, this is a tricky one. I've been going out with someone for a year, she's lovely and we're best friends. This october i've started university, and am living 2 hours from home. Problem 1: I don'...

A.   22 October 2010: You have two choices: stay with your girlfriend and work things out, or break up and see how things go with the other girl. You can't have both just because you're not sure it might work out with someone else, not to mention it'd be cheating if you ... (read in full...)

Does she only see me as a friend?

Q.   Okay, I really need help. I have a female roomate who has lived with me now for the past 2 mos. I had met her earlier this summer, and recently she needed somewhere to live, and I stepped in to help her. Anyhow, her and I get along extremely well, ...

A.   22 October 2010: Have you even asked her out yet? Initiating sex isn't exactly the best way to find out how a girl feels about you, and being turned down doesn't automatically mean she doesn't like you, it means she has standards and doesn't sleep around with just ... (read in full...)

Do you think that getting a hand job during a massage is really cheating?

Q.   I am a little bored and was intrigued by all the ads for Asian massage places and something called "table shower". My question to you all is do you think that getting a hand job during a massage is really cheating? It seems to me that it is not ...

A.   21 October 2010: Of course you wouldn't mind her being touched by another woman, it's just another part of YOUR fantasy. You can make all the excuses you want, but a regular massage and one with a happy ending are still completely different. They normally have no ... (read in full...)

Do women like to catch a glimpse of a man's penis or balls?

Q.   Do women like it when men wear shortish kind of shorts and maybe you catch a glimpse of what he is packing here or there (san undies, of course). I love it when I happen to catch a glimpse up a woman's skirt, or into her shorts, or down her top to ...

A.   21 October 2010: Definitely not, it comes across as a pathetic attempt to get attention when done purposely (and believe me, we can tell when it's done on purpose). Even if it's not, it's still not something I'd want to see.... (read in full...)

He's texting me but screwing someone else!

Q.   I'm really annoyed cos i like this guy and we text each other every night, we seemed to get on well but i found out that he's screwing another girl. do guys do that... text other girls while sleeping with another one? Is he a pig? Should i w...

A.   21 October 2010: Guys don't play hard to get. It sounds like he's only interested in having his cake and eating it too, i.e. playing the field and seeing a bunch of women rather than limiting himself to one. I agree with CaringGuy here, he's not after anything more ... (read in full...)

Weight advice needed!!!

Q.   I have been on a very low cal diet (450-700 cals) for the past 2 months, I have no idea how much weight I have lost, my scales have been broken. I now have a pair of scales :) I weigh 115lbs at 5'6.5" and I am 22 years old. Basically, I need to lose ...

A.   21 October 2010: 600 calories is less than half of the minimum you need to survive and function. Regardless of your higher calorie intake on weekends, nine weeks of that is going to destroy your metabolism. There are plenty of ways to appear thin and strung o... (read in full...)

Its been 2 weeks with no contact from him should I just move on?

Q.   so i was seeing this very nice guy since march of this year. it started out good. we would call eachother every day.i tried not to see him every day for the first couple of weeks. he seemed ery interested in me so i went with it. i didnt sleep with ...

A.   20 October 2010: He's fine for a few days, then sleeps with you and doesn't call for a while, then apologizes and smooths everything over when you're upset about him not getting in touch. From what I can understand, this cycle has repeated at least twice. The real ... (read in full...)

How often should I swallow cum?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend like to do sex everynight.I really enjoy to give him a blowjob.He tells me to swallow his semen.I don't like swallowing.Is it harmful for body?Is it helpful?How many times in a week should i swallow cum?...

A.   20 October 2010: It's not harmful, but if you don't want to do it, simply don't do it. It's your body and your choice, not his, and he should be glad you're giving him oral in the first place.... (read in full...)

Completely in love with my 27 year old teacher!

Q.   I don't know what to do. Im completely in love with my 27 year old teacher (im 16, so 11 years difference) Yes we have our days when we don't really get along but I guess every relationship has these. He means the world to me and I know I mean the ...

A.   20 October 2010: I wouldn't necessarily call this love, it sounds a lot more like infatuation to me. You aspire to be the 'female version of him', speak of him as though you two are in a relationship (yet you're not), and even claim you mean just as much to him as ... (read in full...)

He makes me feel guilty for my past relationships and doesn't feel he is 'equal' to me...

Q.   my boyfriend and i have been together just under a year now. we have had a lot of ups and downs, and although all the great times we have shared outweigh the arguments, it's beginning to get too much. he is my 5th serious relationship and...

A.   20 October 2010: Don't blame yourself, you're not being selfish at all. If anything, he's being selfish by making it all about his personal issues and how he feels about something you can't change. He's blowing things completely out of proportion. You're with him ... (read in full...)

Is it better to tell the truth, or hold on to a lie to prevent conflict?

Q.   I have a dilemma with my current partner. I have been lying to him about something that I know will cause him pain, and/or cause him to reconsider being in a relationship with me. I fluctuate between wanting to tell the truth, and facing the hard ...

A.   20 October 2010: If this secret is something that can seriously affect your partner or impact him in any way, you'll have to come clean and tell the truth. He has a right to know, as well as a right to choose whether he still wants to be with you. You can hope he'll ... (read in full...)

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