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| Latest articles: Facebook: What does it really mean?
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 July 2010: Nothing! Several situations can be mistaken to mean something more, when they truly don't carry much significance. For example: The friend you've been crushing on for the last six months accepts your third attempt at a friend request, and...
What to do when the person you're attracted to is already taken.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 July 2010: Run the hell away. I've seen several questions of this nature on the site. It seems like a simple problem, although in reality it's not. It's complicated and messy, and almost always leaves one person's emotions in ruins while the other enjoys hav...
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Confused about our relationship status
Q. I've been seeing this guy for a number of years and he says we're "just seeing each other" and "it means nothing..." When is it going to "mean something" and go further then just "seeing each other"? I dont even know what seeing someone means.... S...
A. 5 February 2011: Uh.. it's been YEARS and you're still just seeing each other? Sorry, but he directly told you it doesn't mean anything to him, that should've been your cue to leave and find someone that isn't such a jerk. It's not ever going to mean something ... (read in full...)
Lied about my age to my boyfriend (I'm 7 years older)
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and we're moving in together soon. We have an amazing relationship and I love him with all of my heart. The problem is, when we first met, I wasn't honest about my age. He's almost 7 year...
A. 5 February 2011: You'll just have to force yourself to come clean. Seven years is a pretty big difference to lie about, and he has a right to know who he's really dating. It's going to seem worse than it is because you've waited so long, but it's better that he ... (read in full...)
I asked a man I have been seeing if he was seeing anyone else, and his response confused me!
Q. I asked a guy who I have been seeing if he is seeing anyone else and he says this: "You have been monopolizing all my free time...much to the chagrin of anyone else..lol" What does he mean??...
A. 5 February 2011: It means he's been spending all of his free time with you. So no, he's not seeing anyone else.... (read in full...)
Contacted by my love from college, and it's awakened the old feelings
Q. Well I guess I should start from the beginning. I am a male and of Arab decent (Lebanese) born in the United States. I come from a family that is very Anglo looking, with blue eyes and light brown hair. I have been married about 6 years with two ...
A. 5 February 2011: Deal with it by cutting off all contact. You're married and you have children with another woman. If you want to keep your family and marriage intact, you can't afford to let this go any further. Do the right thing and set boundaries, she obviously ... (read in full...)
Wondering if I'm just a booty call to him. What do you think?
Q. Ok so I am 36 met this guy online about 4 months ago.. we hit it off dated for a month or 2 before we took the relationship to a physical place. The problem is, now that is kind of ALL it is. He is in the he middle of a divorce (legally separated) ...
A. 5 February 2011: He's emotionally unavailable because he's in the middle of a divorce, and you're allowing him to use you as a distraction from it. If there was more to it than sex it wouldn't seem like that's all there is to the relationship.
He's in no place to... (read in full...)
Girls have you ever experienced something like this?
Q. Just a short question about some behavior changes I've noticed with my girlfriend. We have a 3 month old son, been together for just over two years, I love her very much and she seems like she feels the same, I'm completely happy with life. Towar...
A. 3 February 2011: She's paying most of her attention to the baby. It always happens when women have just had a child, because the baby needs constant care.... (read in full...)
I'm insecure with my b/f about swinger emails, porn ...
Q. Hi.. I have seen on the search history that my boyfriend stays viewing porn. At first it didn't bother, but now he sees it everyday. I also saw he was getting emails from a swingers club but it was dated several months after we started dating.. he ...
A. 3 February 2011: That's exactly my point. I wasn't talking about porn in my last answer, most men watch it and unfortunately they're not going to stop. Some men will make stupid comments and compare you to an actress or model thinking it's no big deal, and that's ... (read in full...)
Why is he too casual? Is he just not into me?
Q. I have been dating someone for 7 weeks, we are both 27 and have been sleeping together for 4 weeks. (it was a bit soon i know!) We both work 10 hour days, 5 days per week. My question is, he seems too casual and i wonder if its a case of "he's just ...
A. 3 February 2011: His behavior is strange. I think he does like you, but I don't think he's taking the relationship too seriously. It's only been 7 weeks, after all. The 'maybe Friday' comment sounds like he wants to keep his options open in case something better ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure with my b/f about swinger emails, porn ...
Q. Hi.. I have seen on the search history that my boyfriend stays viewing porn. At first it didn't bother, but now he sees it everyday. I also saw he was getting emails from a swingers club but it was dated several months after we started dating.. he ...
A. 3 February 2011: The best way to handle it is to leave him, he has no respect for you and is taking you for granted. He was stupid enough not to cover his tracks the first time, speaking to him about what you found will just make him be more careful. It doesn't mean ... (read in full...)
Why is it the more I ignore her, the more she respects me??
Q. I never claimed to understand women, but this woman is really taking the cake. I am hoping some Agony Aunts can let me know what is going on or they have seen or experienced this before. Basically, this one girl I know has driven me nuts for a lo...
A. 3 February 2011: I wouldn't necessarily say she respects you more, she's just missing the attention you used to give her. She took it for granted and now she's basically trying to win you over again. This girl is definitely a little more crazy than most, but as the ... (read in full...)
Jealous of husband's female friend!
Q. Should I be upset that my husband of thirty years, talks to his lady friend on the phone almost every day, sometimes several times in a day? I guess I am just a little jealous because he doesn't talk to me that much. And I caught him lying about ...
A. 3 February 2011: If talking to her is affecting your relationship and distracting him completely from you, then yes, it's a problem you should be concerned about. There's a possibility he has feelings for her, especially considering that he lied about talking to ... (read in full...)
He wants me to 'wait' for him. Yet we never talk. should I wait?
Q. I'm 19 and the guy that i'm taking to is "J" and he's 18. Well, me and J met in the city bus and the whole ride, he and I were staring at each other. To me it seemed to be for hours. At soon as we both got off at the bus station, i looked at him and ...
A. 2 February 2011: Give him space, let him contact you first. If you don't hear from him he's probably lost interest. These things happen, there's a chance it has nothing to do with you or anything you did and you both just happened to grow apart.... (read in full...)
I'm confused whether my friend is gay or not. How could I handle this diplomatically?
Q. I have a guy friend in medical school. who is questionably/obviously gay and seemingly closer to possibly coming out. He was claiming to be straight at the beginning of the year, but when people have asked questions on his opinion about girls he has ...
A. 2 February 2011: The only way you'll be able to find out is by talking to him about it. Most straight guys wouldn't act this way towards a male friend, I think he's just confused about his orientation and shy about acting on it. Tell him how you're feeling, it'll ... (read in full...)
Are we on a break or did I get the wrong idea?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been on our relationship for year now, and he asked me for us to go on a break again. He says he loves me and that he still wants to be with me but he need sometime off. I really didn't want to go on a break again. I did not ...
A. 2 February 2011: It means he thinks you just gave him permission to cheat on you, and he's going to take full advantage of it. 9 times out of 10, that's why people want to take a 'break' from a relationship.
Don't let him or anyone else treat you this way, it'... (read in full...)
In love with 25 years between us
Q. I am in Love with a Young Lady 25 years younger. She loves me as well. Will this relationship work 15 to 20 years from now? Why? support your response....
A. 2 February 2011: Love isn't always enough, you need to think about the reality of living with this person and sharing your life with her. It would be foolish to think love is all you need to have a successful relationship. You're both in completely different stages ... (read in full...)
Gf is angry because I didn't insist that we lv event so she could study, what now??
Q. Short version: My gf is mad at me because I didn’t ask her if she wanted to go home early so that she can study for her exam even though it was an event that she wanted and chose to go to. Long version: 1. Background: Gf had to study for ...
A. 2 February 2011: She's definitely the one with an issue, you did nothing wrong by answering a simple and seemingly unrelated question. I don't understand why some girls play these bullshit games, what does it really accomplish? It's like she's trying to corner you ... (read in full...)
Is it okay for a FWB, to flirt with your friends, should I discuss it??
Q. Do you think it's okay for a fuck buddy to flirt with your friends? Also, should you talk to him about it?...
A. 1 February 2011: It's not necessarily okay, it's actually a pretty low thing to do, but this is what happens when you agree to have no strings attached sex with someone. He's still technically single and free to do what he likes with other people. If this isn't ... (read in full...)
What is a minor?
Q. dear readers, i would like to know what you people out there consider a minor? i.e a lot of the questions that are asked on here are not answered but people because they say you are a minor. but what age is really conssidered a minor? i know 15...
A. 1 February 2011: The age of consent is different in many places, it depends on where you are. For example, in New York the legal age is 18. In other states it's 16. Depending on where you live, anyone below that age is considered a minor. ... (read in full...)
Sudden break-up?
Q. I met this guy at my job about four months ago. I decided to give it a try. He's about 6 years older than me so I thought everything would be ok as far as maturity and a relationship. We would always go places on the weekends and talk on the phone. ...
A. 31 January 2011: Yes. What's the point? ... (read in full...)
16, in love, and ready to have a baby. Need advice, opinions, and feedback!
Q. I'm 16 years old and want a baby. Ok so I'm 16, turn 17 in 10 months, I finish high school in just under 5 months and have already achieved good grades so far. My boyfriend is the exact same except he is 2 months older then me. We have been tog...
A. 31 January 2011: Okay, let's put this into perspective. You listed things like having good grades and being together a long time as good reasons to have a baby. You say you're turning 17 in 10 months. Do you realize this is very typical of a child to say when he or ... (read in full...)
Most of the girls in my year smoke and I want to try. Do boys find girls who smoke attractive.
Q. Ok, I'm 14 and most of the girls in my year have smoked. I really want to take a few drags and see what it's like, but one of my friends is TOO overly protective and will tell my guidance teacher! Also, do boys think it's cool if their girl smokes? ...
A. 31 January 2011: Smoking is very unattractive. It's a pretty disgusting habit, in my opinion. Boys like girls that don't do stupid things just to fit in or look cool. Have a mind of your own. ... (read in full...)
Last time I checked, friends don't see each other naked on a regular basis.
Q. My ex and I broke up over a year ago and while we had a little rough patch over the summer we quickly went back to being friends and even became better friends than we were before we dated. We had not done anything remotely sexual at all until last ...
A. 31 January 2011: It depends. Are you okay with the idea of him seeing other girls while you two continue to do this, or would it bother you to know he's dating and possibly sleeping with other people?... (read in full...)
Penis size insecurity...Why is size such a big deal??
Q. ok well id like to know why guys worry so much about the size of their penis? why is it such a big concern for them? why is it a competition? i dont hear girls comparing the size of their vagina. what is it about it that makes them feel such varity ...
A. 31 January 2011: Just as dirtball said, it's exactly the same for women when it comes to breast size. We're constantly reminded that bigger is supposedly always better. This idea also comes from products that are marketed in a way that exploits insecurity for ... (read in full...)
I feel like I have to give him an ultimatum now!
Q. Ok heres my situation. I met this guy online about 2 months ago. We met after talking for a month. And hit it off. Since then weve seen each other one time. Because everytime we set something up to met he backs out at the last minute saying hes ...
A. 31 January 2011: Don't even bother wasting more time on him, he's just not into you. People can have legitimate reasons for suddenly being a little distant, i.e. something came up in their family or at work, but even in those situations it takes a minimal amount of ... (read in full...)
How important is the ring?
Q. She said "If I got an engagement ring I didn't like,or was to small I would return it and buy something I really liked." Part of me laughs at this the other part is scared out of my mind. Who would say something like that, I thought engagment was ...
A. 31 January 2011: In reply to your response, nothing 'happened'. Everyone is materialistic to some extent, it's just human nature. Jewelry in particular isn't exactly a new concept, it's been around in one form or another for as long as we have. Everyone expresses ... (read in full...)
When I try to leave he tells me I'm being selfish and to think of the kids!
Q. i have been in a relationship with this guy who is 19 yrs older than me for three years now and we have two small children together and we live together. he doesn't want to take me anywhere. he always have an excuse on why he don't take me anywhere ...
A. 30 January 2011: Uh.. what exactly is a 'popcorn dad'?
Anyway, you can't let that be the reason you stay in a relationship that makes you this unhappy. Do you really want him to grow up in this kind of environment? Your oldest is 21 months old, he might miss his... (read in full...)
How do I win him back when he has a girlfriend?
Q. okay well i have been on and off with this guy for the past couple of years and now. we have dated at least 4 times. but ever time we break up i always go to the begging him back thing. our last break up he just kinda ended it, i accepted it at ...
A. 30 January 2011: Leave him alone. Would you want another girl trying to steal him from you? I doubt it, so don't do it to someone else. Is the relationship likely to work on the 5th try, anyway? No, probably not.
You've convinced yourself you'll never be able to ... (read in full...)
When I try to leave he tells me I'm being selfish and to think of the kids!
Q. i have been in a relationship with this guy who is 19 yrs older than me for three years now and we have two small children together and we live together. he doesn't want to take me anywhere. he always have an excuse on why he don't take me anywhere ...
A. 30 January 2011: Never, ever put yourself through this kind of emotional torture for the sake of your kids. It's not going to do them any good. If anything, your unhappiness will influence them. Small children can be very perceptive in that way.
The way he treat... (read in full...)
Sudden break-up?
Q. I met this guy at my job about four months ago. I decided to give it a try. He's about 6 years older than me so I thought everything would be ok as far as maturity and a relationship. We would always go places on the weekends and talk on the phone. ...
A. 29 January 2011: Don't bother, there's no use in chasing after someone that just isn't interested. Assume something came up or someone else came along and move on, find someone new. These things happen, the worst thing to do is dwell on it.... (read in full...)
Honeymoon & Birth control
Q. My fiancé and I plan on not using protection on our honeymoon except for when she says it's time to start "being careful". That should be about the last few days of our week in Florida. She isn't okay with birth control so I will use a condom. Her ...
A. 29 January 2011: If you don't want her to get pregnant, use some form of protection each and every time you have sex. It doesn't matter where she is in her cycle, women can get pregnant even while they're menstruating. Is going without it really worth risking ... (read in full...)
Are love and marriage a deadline?
Q. Does anyone else think women now a days are more in love with the idea of "love" and "marriage" then they are with the true meaning behind it. I keep meeting more and more women who talk about marriage like a dead line rather then the importance of ...
A. 29 January 2011: Some women (and even some men) think of marriage as their top goal in life. These people like the idea of getting married, have an idealized version of married life in their minds and strive to get it, only to be disappointed with reality. People ... (read in full...)
How important is the ring?
Q. She said "If I got an engagement ring I didn't like,or was to small I would return it and buy something I really liked." Part of me laughs at this the other part is scared out of my mind. Who would say something like that, I thought engagment was ...
A. 29 January 2011: It sounds like she said this in a joking way, but there's always a little bit of truth to the things people say in this manner and it seems deep down, she cares more about the materialism and show of an engagement than the meaning behind it. That ... (read in full...)
How do I know if this guy treats "us" just like a fling or if it has the potential to turn into a relationship?
Q. I've been having this fling with someone for a few months now and I have been feeling confused about whats been going on and where we stand. (If its just for fun or if there is potential for example) When it has come to dating etc, I have alwa...
A. 29 January 2011: You're treating it like a fling, which means he's going to treat it like a fling too. I'm assuming by 'fling' you mean 'friends with benefits', and if that's the case, it's safe to assume it's not going to turn into more. Not now, not ever. You're ... (read in full...)
Guys opinions, what is going on in his head?
Q. I have been going out with this guy for almost 5 years now. I am his first serious girlfriend he says. We tried moving in together, but shortly after I moved out because he said it seemed like it was too soon for him. Even though this was not ...
A. 21 January 2011: I'm not a guy, but I'd like to offer my view. I've been in a situation like yours before, and dealt with the same crap. Inexperience isn't an excuse for lacking common sense, I don't care what he says. Everyone capable of knowing the difference ... (read in full...)
My husband sends 1,000 and up text messages to an old female friend, but says nothing is going on!
Q. My spouse texts 1,000+ messages in a month to an old female friend and states nothing going on. NO intimate replationship with spouse for months. Husband opened seperate checking account said tired of not having a say, but texts this person our ...
A. 21 January 2011: These are all the classic signs of cheating. People that have nothing to hide don't act like this, he's obviously doing something he knows he shouldn't and something he knows you wouldn't approve of. Sorry to say it, but by now he's probably ... (read in full...)
Does he have a right to keep this information to himself?
Q. Hello, I have a problem with my fiance he has stomach pains so he went to the hospital for treatment, i asked him what the doctor said ! he ingorned my question and kept on saying to me to take care of my health. I dont know really i feel le...
A. 21 January 2011: He has the right to keep it to himself, yes, but that doesn't mean he should. You were obviously only asking out of concern, and considering you're his fiancee, he should at least let you know if it's serious or not and leave it at that. You can't ... (read in full...)
He always texts back, but since the message where I told him how I felt I have not heard anything! Have I scared him off?
Q. Few days ago I asked this question about telling someone who I'm sort of involved with, that I miss him http://www.dearcupid.org/question/if-i-tell-him-i-miss-him-do.html I felt really positive and sure about telling him this, but I was really n...
A. 19 January 2011: What exactly do you mean by 'sort of' involved with? Friends with benefits or casually dating?... (read in full...)
Guy seems all into me till I tell him I like him.
Q. I told a guy friend i had feelings for him twice in a few months. The 1st time he said he was sick of relationships, he's been sleeping in my bed, and we have done things together and cuddled etc. The 1st time i told him he was distant for a few ...
A. 13 January 2011: That must be really hard to deal with, sorry to hear he keeps bothering you. The best thing to do is just ignore him, don't give in until you're completely over him, otherwise you'll be right back to where you started. Distract yourself as much as ... (read in full...)
How long will a woman chase a man by phone only?
Q. How long will a woman chase a man if the chasing can only be done by phone? How can I shorten the chase and how can I drag it out if needed? Please at least let me know if you are male or female....
A. 13 January 2011: Most women won't chase a man for long, we generally let the men do that and often lose interest if the man doesn't pursue us at least some of the time. Obviously there are exceptions, but I'm generalizing.
Shorten it by being direct and telling ... (read in full...)
Guy seems all into me till I tell him I like him.
Q. I told a guy friend i had feelings for him twice in a few months. The 1st time he said he was sick of relationships, he's been sleeping in my bed, and we have done things together and cuddled etc. The 1st time i told him he was distant for a few ...
A. 13 January 2011: I'm having a hard time understanding your logic in this situation. You were friends, you started sleeping with him regularly even after he said he didn't want a relationship, and yet that doesn't make you friends with benefits? Sorry to tell you, ... (read in full...)
Guy seems all into me till I tell him I like him.
Q. I told a guy friend i had feelings for him twice in a few months. The 1st time he said he was sick of relationships, he's been sleeping in my bed, and we have done things together and cuddled etc. The 1st time i told him he was distant for a few ...
A. 12 January 2011: Hold on, so what exactly did you mean by 'we have done things together'? ... (read in full...)
Guy seems all into me till I tell him I like him.
Q. I told a guy friend i had feelings for him twice in a few months. The 1st time he said he was sick of relationships, he's been sleeping in my bed, and we have done things together and cuddled etc. The 1st time i told him he was distant for a few ...
A. 12 January 2011: He was just asking a friendly question, there's no meaning behind it. I honestly think you're the one messing yourself up by overanalyzing everything he does and taking his honesty as a flat rejection. As I said, he did tell you what he wasn't ... (read in full...)
Guy seems all into me till I tell him I like him.
Q. I told a guy friend i had feelings for him twice in a few months. The 1st time he said he was sick of relationships, he's been sleeping in my bed, and we have done things together and cuddled etc. The 1st time i told him he was distant for a few ...
A. 10 January 2011: He directly told you how he felt about relationships and you let things progress anyway. To him, this would make it seem like you're fine with not being in a relationship, until you told him how you really felt. Even after that, he says he still ... (read in full...)
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