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*anthic

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I make it a point in life to be as open-minded and accepting as I possibly can be, and regardless of the situation will attempt to see things from all sides. I firmly believe in being fair and blunt; sugarcoating leads to damaging results in spite of meaning well.

Latest articles:

Facebook: What does it really mean?

This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

11 July 2010: Nothing! Several situations can be mistaken to mean something more, when they truly don't carry much significance. For example: The friend you've been crushing on for the last six months accepts your third attempt at a friend request, and...

What to do when the person you're attracted to is already taken.

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

7 July 2010: Run the hell away. I've seen several questions of this nature on the site. It seems like a simple problem, although in reality it's not. It's complicated and messy, and almost always leaves one person's emotions in ruins while the other enjoys hav...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [19 pages, 730 answers]

Our "casual" relationship!

Q.   So, I fancied the hell outta one of my collegues , eventually we made out, and texted for days, we have since been sleeping together but are not in a 'relationship' as he said hes 'not a relationship person'. I agreed to this and when asked he says ...

A.   7 April 2011: You really need to end this, it's never going to go anywhere. Seriously, never. So what if he's not sleeping with anyone else right now? That doesn't mean he won't at some point, and when that happens you'll feel even worse than you do now. What he ... (read in full...)

Guy seems all into me till I tell him I like him.

Q.   I told a guy friend i had feelings for him twice in a few months. The 1st time he said he was sick of relationships, he's been sleeping in my bed, and we have done things together and cuddled etc. The 1st time i told him he was distant for a few ...

A.   13 January 2011: That must be really hard to deal with, sorry to hear he keeps bothering you. The best thing to do is just ignore him, don't give in until you're completely over him, otherwise you'll be right back to where you started. Distract yourself as much as ... (read in full...)

Guy seems all into me till I tell him I like him.

Q.   I told a guy friend i had feelings for him twice in a few months. The 1st time he said he was sick of relationships, he's been sleeping in my bed, and we have done things together and cuddled etc. The 1st time i told him he was distant for a few ...

A.   13 January 2011: I'm having a hard time understanding your logic in this situation. You were friends, you started sleeping with him regularly even after he said he didn't want a relationship, and yet that doesn't make you friends with benefits? Sorry to tell you, ... (read in full...)

Guy seems all into me till I tell him I like him.

Q.   I told a guy friend i had feelings for him twice in a few months. The 1st time he said he was sick of relationships, he's been sleeping in my bed, and we have done things together and cuddled etc. The 1st time i told him he was distant for a few ...

A.   12 January 2011: Hold on, so what exactly did you mean by 'we have done things together'? ... (read in full...)

Guy seems all into me till I tell him I like him.

Q.   I told a guy friend i had feelings for him twice in a few months. The 1st time he said he was sick of relationships, he's been sleeping in my bed, and we have done things together and cuddled etc. The 1st time i told him he was distant for a few ...

A.   12 January 2011: He was just asking a friendly question, there's no meaning behind it. I honestly think you're the one messing yourself up by overanalyzing everything he does and taking his honesty as a flat rejection. As I said, he did tell you what he wasn't ... (read in full...)

Do I move on or hope he realizes we are meant to be?

Q.   Hi I am 30 years old. i have liked this guy i worked with for two years. this guy and i like the same things and at some point last year we had some flirty text going. however he has a gf with treat him very badly. he is not happy with her. but he ...

A.   11 January 2011: You are NOT meant to be together, and it's no excuse to justify crossing the line. Let's be realistic, if he was really so unhappy with his girlfriend he'd leave her. Being scared of change is a bullshit excuse, either he's only with her because ... (read in full...)

How can I get him to stop calling me that nickname?

Q.   My boyfriend has recently started using the same nickname I used to call my ex when we were going out. My ex and I ended on extremely bad terms so it's really weird to hear that nickname used towards ME and be reminded of him. Is there any way I can ...

A.   11 January 2011: Just tell him you don't like it and suggest one you'd prefer more. You don't have to explain why.... (read in full...)

After 2 years of dating, he's not ready for a relationship. What should I do?

Q.   I really don't know what to do I've been with a guy for 2 years now and he still tells me that we not ready for a relationship even though we act like we going out. Should I stay and wait till he comes around or walk away?...

A.   11 January 2011: He's not ever going to commit to you, and you've given him more than enough time to do so. It's been two years and you're not even in an exclusive relationship, all that tells me is he wants the freedom to date and sleep with other women while ... (read in full...)

Is it normal to be my age and not have any interest in getting married?

Q.   I am a single and very intelligent 29 year old woman and I am happy with my marital status. I like being independent and free I also like my quiet time. I am the adventurous type of woman though, I like to travel, I would like to go parachuting, ...

A.   11 January 2011: Some people just don't see marriage in their future, in no way does this mean something is wrong with you. Society in general still holds on to the idea that single unmarried people (women in particular) are that way because they can't find a ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend of 3 months is away a lot in Army. is it a good idea to have a baby now?

Q.   I'm 19 (20 at the end of 2011) I'm currently with my boyfriend who is 22 we have been together for 3 months and are living together (ano sounds crazy) he is in the army and is away a lot but recently we have decided to have a baby after a ...

A.   11 January 2011: The fact that you're even considering this shows you are by no means ready to have a baby yet. You've only been together three months and he's away all the time, is that really an ideal environment for a child? I know you already know what the right ... (read in full...)

Dating a married man. What should we expect, I don't want to hurt anyone...

Q.   I'm a married woman having an affair with a married man from work. we've been doing this for 8 months. we've known each other 7 years. we see each other almost every day. we meet just to talk. we have seen each on weekends. it's getting harder t...

A.   10 January 2011: You say you don't want to hurt anyone, yet you're married and he's married. How is an affair not going to hurt your spouses? Do you honestly believe this is acceptable? Wake up, look beyond your own selfish wants and step away before any real damage ... (read in full...)

Guy seems all into me till I tell him I like him.

Q.   I told a guy friend i had feelings for him twice in a few months. The 1st time he said he was sick of relationships, he's been sleeping in my bed, and we have done things together and cuddled etc. The 1st time i told him he was distant for a few ...

A.   10 January 2011: He directly told you how he felt about relationships and you let things progress anyway. To him, this would make it seem like you're fine with not being in a relationship, until you told him how you really felt. Even after that, he says he still ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he want our relationship status on facebook?

Q.   Why is it that when your dating someone and you want to share it on facebook they dont want to. Its been a long time now since we've been together but he still acts like he doesnt know it. I havent done anything to him at all so what does this mean? ...

A.   10 January 2011: You said he doesn't act like he knows you're in a relationship. Are you absolutely sure he does? I'm not much of a supporter of Facebook and would normally agree with cat_lady, because things like Facebook and Myspace seem absolutely ridiculo... (read in full...)

Broke the rules, I'm in love with a married man!

Q.   I met several or more months back, a charming fun freak in the sheets just hang out guy. He is married has been for 14 years and has a son. He has been denied sex from his partner for sometime now and one thing was how great we got along when we ...

A.   10 January 2011: If he was truly so unhappy in his marriage, he wouldn't be married any more. Instead, he fed you a sob story and is using that to have his cake and eat it too. He's using you, period. If he truly loved you he not only wouldn't cheat with you while ... (read in full...)

Can I fall back in love with him after he cheated on me?

Q.   Okay, so my boyfriend cheated on me 7 months ago. I was extremely hurt by it but i took him back because i still loved him. We've been doing really well and i completely trust him again. The problem is that I just realized that when i heard he ...

A.   10 January 2011: You can't force yourself to fall in love with him again, things have changed and I think deep down, you don't fully trust him and probably never will. His cheating made you see him in a different light, maybe you use to see him as someone that would ... (read in full...)

Are guys losing respect for girls today than in the past?

Q.   I know the guy I am with does not act like this what so ever, but is it just me, or am I getting the feeling that now a days, men expect girls to bend over and give themselves to them? Are guys really loosing respect for females now a days? ...

A.   9 January 2011: In general, if someone is outwardly confident and has enough self-respect not to tolerate bad treatment, they'll be respected. It all comes down to demanding respect and not settling or putting up with any bullshit.... (read in full...)

I don't know if I should agree to what he's asked nor if he truly loves me

Q.   i love my boyfriend , and he loves me too. we have been in a relationship for 1year.but my nature is very suspious . how will i come to know that he truly loves me? he is asking me for oral sex, what do u think , i should say yes or no?...

A.   9 January 2011: That depends on you and what you want to do. Do YOU want to give him oral sex, or do you want to do it only because he wants it? Don't let what he wants dictate what you do, if you're not comfortable with something you have every right to say no. ... (read in full...)

What are the signs that a relationship is likely to end? Even it all looks OK now?

Q.   Hey everyone, From your experience, when you were in a long-term relationship with an ex-boyfriend (or ex-gf), did you ever have a feeling (or signs) that you guys will eventually break up? (it's my first relationship and it happens to be lo...

A.   9 January 2011: Some people say they never saw any signs prior to breaking up, but I believe most people don't notice or simply ignore the signs because they figure it's trivial or irrelevant. You know the saying 'hindsight is 20x20'? It means everything is much ... (read in full...)

Every time I start to get over her past, something new pops up!

Q.   I have been in a relationship for aprox 10 months and I'm having trouble getting over my girlfriends past. When we first started dating one time after sex we were lying in bed and she started in on the "what's the craziest sexual thing you have ...

A.   7 January 2011: To get over it, you have to realize this is solely YOUR issue. No one can change their past, you just need to accept that and be glad she's now in a LTR with you. She didn't tell you to read her journals, yet you did and now want to blame her for ... (read in full...)

I don't know if hes only using me for my body.

Q.   I like this guy hes 17 and im 15 he kissed me, and felt me up the other day and wanted to go further, this does not suprise me because we have talked about going further. But i didnt, i just didnt feel as if we were ready to take that step. Later we ...

A.   7 January 2011: He may act like he respects you and acts like he respects your wishes, but all men lose at least some respect for a woman that lets them go further too easily, because it makes them wonder how many other guys she's done the same thing with. It also ... (read in full...)

Our "casual" relationship!

Q.   So, I fancied the hell outta one of my collegues , eventually we made out, and texted for days, we have since been sleeping together but are not in a 'relationship' as he said hes 'not a relationship person'. I agreed to this and when asked he says ...

A.   7 January 2011: He messes around with other women because he can, and asks if you're jealous for nothing more than an ego boost. You can't tell him to stop because you're not in a relationship, he's free to do what he likes. I'm sure he likes you, but that doesn't ... (read in full...)

I don't know if hes only using me for my body.

Q.   I like this guy hes 17 and im 15 he kissed me, and felt me up the other day and wanted to go further, this does not suprise me because we have talked about going further. But i didnt, i just didnt feel as if we were ready to take that step. Later we ...

A.   6 January 2011: FWB means friends that have sex, which he hasn't had yet, so I think your definition of it is slightly off. What do you think makes him your friend with benefits? As how to get him to be your boyfriend etc., the easiest way is to make yourself... (read in full...)

Guy with definite mixed signals!

Q.   I like this guy who is very much a ladies man! he has never admitted he likes me but gets with me sometimes and texts me quite a lot, I know he talks to other girls so it isn't just me but I know all he wants is sex because thats what he tells me ...

A.   6 January 2011: Drop him. He's using you, TOLD you he's using you, yet you still fall for his lines. He acts sweet and caring because he wants something from you, it doesn't mean he actually is sweet and caring. It's only about sex to him, nothing else.... (read in full...)

Did my Neighbor Try To pull a sexual Move on me?

Q.   Hey Guys Thank You for taking the time to read my question. I live in a neighborhood where all the houses are really close, but we all tend to keep to ourselves. I live across from this family and they are nothing but wonderful people! One y...

A.   6 January 2011: He took your comment about being alone and bored all the time as a possible invitation for sex. Most guys would. ... (read in full...)

Two relationships may be better than one intense one.

Q.   First my background. I've been separated 6 months now after a long term marriage (over 25 years). My wife and I grew apart over the years and two children are grown and gone and the last one is in her third year of HS and has basically encouraged ...

A.   6 January 2011: The right thing to do would be to get a divorce, then look for women to date that are unattached. Getting involved with the first one will definitely be a mess, she's still technically married and possibly also has a boyfriend on the side. If yo... (read in full...)

My b/f got another girl pregnant

Q.   I need help.... I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. About 3 months ago he told me that he has another girl preggo. She's 28 and he's only 24. To make a long story short he says he loves me and wants to be with me. He know he messed up, he has ...

A.   5 January 2011: You don't owe him support or anything else, nor should anything be talked through with him and the other girl. He cheated on you and got another girl pregnant, betrayed and destroyed your trust, and now expects you to forgive him and stay with him. ... (read in full...)

Now she spits!

Q.   I'm 47 year old male and been married to same woman for 21 years. We have 3 kids together. She was a virgin when we got married. Before we got married, she would get give me head and swallow. After 5 to 10 years that progressed to giving me ...

A.   5 January 2011: Do you really want to go on keeping score, or do you want to find a solution beneficial to you both? I've already explained why an ultimatum isn't a good idea. If you refuse to acknowledge there's a deeper meaning to why she's lost interest in ... (read in full...)

He wont tell me how old he is!

Q.   Is it weird for a man not to tell you how old he is when you ask? Especially if it's a man you've been out on a few dates with? He refuses to tell me and gets defensive. I didn't think it was a big deal at the time, so I dropped it. But now I'm...

A.   5 January 2011: Yes, it's weird. It means he has something to hide. If he's going to hide something as trivial as age from you, is it really worth waiting to find out what else he's hiding?... (read in full...)

My b/f got another girl pregnant

Q.   I need help.... I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. About 3 months ago he told me that he has another girl preggo. She's 28 and he's only 24. To make a long story short he says he loves me and wants to be with me. He know he messed up, he has ...

A.   5 January 2011: Drop him and move on with your life. Staying him will only make you feel worse, because you'll never be able to fully trust him again after this. You'll torture yourself by wondering if he's cheating on you again whenever he goes out or talks to ... (read in full...)

Don't want this meeting to end in the "friend zone"

Q.   Hello my question is how do i stop getting stuck in the friend zone with every female i meet? I have been talking to this girl over text and im meeting her tomorrow, i would love to be more then friends but not sure how to make her aware of my ...

A.   5 January 2011: I agree with trancedrhythmear, except complimenting her body will make it seem like you're only after one thing. For most women, this is a guaranteed way to put yourself in the friend zone when done too soon. That doesn't mean you shouldn't ... (read in full...)

Now she spits!

Q.   I'm 47 year old male and been married to same woman for 21 years. We have 3 kids together. She was a virgin when we got married. Before we got married, she would get give me head and swallow. After 5 to 10 years that progressed to giving me ...

A.   5 January 2011: Your wife has every right to do what she's comfortable with, and clearly her preferences have changed. I'm guessing she's disinterested at the moment due to your ultimatum of 'you're not getting what you like unless you give me what I want', which ... (read in full...)

Major mind games. Plz help!

Q.   Married guy flirts with me at work. I am married too. He tells me he can't get me out of his head and that he has erotic dreams about me. He calls me, emails me and text me all the time. I would leave for him in a minute if kids weren't involved. We ...

A.   5 January 2011: He's trying to get into your pants and doesn't give a shit about who it affects. I wouldn't take his question about your family as anything other than fake sympathy in an attempt to be seen in a better light. I've heard of people saying crazy ... (read in full...)

Why is he making an issue out of nothing?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 years. Today he accused me of hugging my male co-workers on the job. All I said was hi to the guy and my boyfriend defined hi to mean hug. Then he lied and said he didn't know who the co-worker was when we ...

A.   5 January 2011: People often make big issues out of nothing to take the focus off themselves. There's something he might not be telling you or feels guilty about, otherwise he wouldn't feel the need to make such a trivial thing into a big deal. If he normally... (read in full...)

Am I over analyzing?

Q.   Hey, I'm looking for help to translate guy speak! My bf has been unwell, sent me a message saying the Dr told him to stay home and rest for a couple of days, so I sent him a message saying that if he needs anything, just let me know. He replied ...

A.   5 January 2011: You're reading WAY too much into it. All he's saying is you're important to him and he appreciates the offer, but will be fine. ... (read in full...)

How can I make him see that I'm sick and tired of being treated this way, and I've had enough?

Q.   Hello thanks in advance Well to start this off, I've been with my bf for 2.5 years. He's a contolling person, which I didn't really notice until we moved in together. He has to have his way most of the time. He's taken me out maybe 5 times ...

A.   5 January 2011: Break up with him, simple as that. Not to make him change, but to get him out of your life so you can reclaim it as your own. There's no reason why you should have to put up with his behavior and his trust issues, and clearly nothing you've done ... (read in full...)

Does my FWB want more with me?

Q.   For the past 4 months I have had this fwb..it was never defined as such. I met him online and we started hanging out and we see each other and have sex and hang out between 1-5 times a month. He texts me everyday lately i don't know if he likes me ...

A.   5 January 2011: It's unfortunate things turned out that way, but I'm glad to hear you ended it rather than settling. You deserve to be treated with respect, but won't get it unless you respect yourself first. You've already shown you know you should be worth more ... (read in full...)

He wants to work things out with me, but doesn't want to be 'official' as he wants to be single. What is going on?

Q.   So I recently asked for help about a breakup. My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he wasn't sure what he wanted. He ended up going on a couple dates with another woman within a week of the breakup. Last week he finally realized he ...

A.   4 January 2011: He could want to stay single in order to see what else is out there, knowing he has you to come back to if it doesn't work out. Why else be so vague and undecided? Don't give him a chance to move things into grey area, give him the choice to either ... (read in full...)

Does my FWB want more with me?

Q.   For the past 4 months I have had this fwb..it was never defined as such. I met him online and we started hanging out and we see each other and have sex and hang out between 1-5 times a month. He texts me everyday lately i don't know if he likes me ...

A.   4 January 2011: You're reading too much into the situation. Don't analyze, don't make excuses for him, just pay attention to what he does and not what he says. He could be saying everything you want to hear, but that doesn't mean anything if his actions don't match ... (read in full...)

We've been dating 10 months and she still doesn't know my number by heart?

Q.   So, me and my girlfriend have been dating for 4+ months and I came to realize that she doesn't know my number by heart. No big deal is what I initially thought but then I found out that she still know's her ex's number by heart (they dated for 2 ...

A.   4 January 2011: I don't even know my best friend's number by heart, but that obviously doesn't mean I don't care about her. Thanks to my cell phone there's no longer a need to memorize numbers. Try not to take it personally if she doesn't know yours, it would be a ... (read in full...)

Am I being a prude by not wanting him to go to this out of town, weekend-long bachelor party?

Q.   So I feel I am in a bit of a pickle lately having to do with both my friends bachelorette party and the potential bachelor party my boyfriend has mentioned. Im 22 and my boyfriend and I have been together over 4 years. We are not the type of peop...

A.   4 January 2011: I don't think it's unreasonable to ask him not to go, considering what they have planned. They're going to be out of town for days and intend to hire hookers. Not just strippers, but women that are being paid solely to have sex with them. Excuse my ... (read in full...)

Should I believe his phone is still broken and he has no other way of contacting me?

Q.   i go on a holiday each year, were each year you see the same people each year and become close for the week there. This year I found myself by the last night getting close to one guy, he spent a lot of time over me and made it very romantic- going ...

A.   4 January 2011: There are other ways of getting in touch, and I highly doubt anyone his age would go 4 months without getting a replacement. Sorry to say it, but I think it's safe to assume he's just not interested any more. How did you find out his phone ha... (read in full...)

Does my FWB want more with me?

Q.   For the past 4 months I have had this fwb..it was never defined as such. I met him online and we started hanging out and we see each other and have sex and hang out between 1-5 times a month. He texts me everyday lately i don't know if he likes me ...

A.   4 January 2011: No, he doesn't want more. You're already sleeping with him without asking for a relationship, which means he has no incentive to change the way things are now. As for how he's been acting, some men have a tendency to be very possessive. It doesn... (read in full...)

Why did he want to know if I was a virgin?

Q.   I met this guy who is in the same program as me in my university He is really nice and always gives me advice. I like him and I think he likes me too, because he tells me why a nice girl like me doesn't have a boyfriend. we text each other ...

A.   3 January 2011: He's just covering his ass he was bored. Out of all the questions he could've asked, he asked you a personal question related to sex. Seriously, what else could that say other than 'I want to have no strings attached sex with you'?... (read in full...)

He's a nice guy, but there's no chemistry. Am I allowed to be picky at my age?

Q.   I am 50 years old and I met a very nice man online dating. We went on two dates and he's done everything right. He is nice, has a good career and great kids. But there is no spark. It's so frustrating. He's asked me to go on a day trip this ...

A.   3 January 2011: I agree with the others, there's no reason not to be somewhat picky at any age. It's better than settling for someone just for the sake being in a relationship, which wouldn't be fair to either of you. If the spark isn't there, it's not there. S... (read in full...)

Why did he want to know if I was a virgin?

Q.   I met this guy who is in the same program as me in my university He is really nice and always gives me advice. I like him and I think he likes me too, because he tells me why a nice girl like me doesn't have a boyfriend. we text each other ...

A.   29 December 2010: It means he's interested in having sex with you, it has nothing to do with age. Some guys place too much importance on purity, and they like the idea of being a girl's first. Others just want to add to the list of how many times they've taken a ... (read in full...)

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