A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’m really confused could really do with some advice please, its doing my head in, cant bear to talk to anyone I know about it, thanks in advance for any feedback I really appreciate it! Well… I’m in a relationship with this guy have been for 8 weeks now it’s pretty full on, he seems to be so serious so ‘in love’ its really throwing me! He seems really serious about us having a future and I’m not so serious! I’m a couple of years younger, haven’t dated much and am not really wanting to be so tied down yet, will be going to uni in a couple of years and its just going to make things so complicated, I really really like him but cant see our relationship going any further I’d like to have an amicable relationship with him, don’t really know how plausible that is, I want his companionship but not a future I think. It really hurts me to say this, I don’t want to lead him on, but I really don’t want to hurt him by ending things, I know it would and it’s killing me. I want to stay with him I love what we seem to have at the moment, he’s perfect but I know it can last, well I think it wont. Honestly when I see myself in a couple of years I don’t see myself with him it’s not me, but he wants this to work, mentioned holidays and things its getting complicated and I’m not sure I can manage it. I never thought I’d be the one shirking from commitment. Also since I’ve been in this relationship I seem to be inadvertently distancing myself from my previously close guy friends I hate that, I really value them and just wondered if this was normal?! I’m so messed up what should I do, of anything.... perhaps I should just see what happens not end it so soon, or maybe by doing that I’d be leading him on, not sure how stable he is if I were to end things, I really really care about him and don’t want to hurt him. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (25 August 2009):
 It's much too early to tell if this is how he'll always be. He might back off after a while. If you really like him in more than a strictly platonic way, wait a bit and see how it goes. If you'd only like him as a friend I don't really see the point in letting things continue, he'd only be more hurt to know you didn't tell him sooner.
A
male
reader, DLover  +, writes (2 August 2009):
For me, it's clear you do not see him as a lover, but rater a friend. If it's over on your side, I think it would be a good idea to tell him it is... if he is that serious about relationships, he will need all the time he can get to find a serious partner in this crazy world.
...............................
A
male
reader, Elliiott  +, writes (2 August 2009):
 You say you just want his companionship, And you don't see a future together, It looks like to me, You treat him more as a friend, Than a lover.
Well, I guess you're going have to let him go, It's going to kill him, But if that's the way you feel.
Then again, He might just be the way he is because you are still pretty early in relationship. Maybe things might came down after awhile ?
Otherwise, I would suggest to speak to him about the matter.
I hope I helped, Good Luck !
- Elliott.
...............................
|
