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| Latest articles: Facebook: What does it really mean?
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 July 2010: Nothing! Several situations can be mistaken to mean something more, when they truly don't carry much significance. For example: The friend you've been crushing on for the last six months accepts your third attempt at a friend request, and...
What to do when the person you're attracted to is already taken.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 July 2010: Run the hell away. I've seen several questions of this nature on the site. It seems like a simple problem, although in reality it's not. It's complicated and messy, and almost always leaves one person's emotions in ruins while the other enjoys hav...
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Does he just want to get me in bed?
Q. I like this guy alot and we have been dateing for about a month and he tells me he loves me and that he wants to make love to me.He calls and checks up on me almost every day and he makes me feel like he reali cares about me. I am not sure what to ...
A. 3 December 2010: I doubt he's changed, honestly. Otherwise you wouldn't be wondering if he's still a player, and he wouldn't still have such a reputation.... (read in full...)
Does he just want to get me in bed?
Q. I like this guy alot and we have been dateing for about a month and he tells me he loves me and that he wants to make love to me.He calls and checks up on me almost every day and he makes me feel like he reali cares about me. I am not sure what to ...
A. 2 December 2010: He's known to be a player for a reason, and players are often really good at fooling people into thinking they're sincere. Chances are he's only after one thing, but the only way you'll be able to find out for certain is to make him wait. If after ... (read in full...)
Massage gone wrong on my girlfriend?
Q. me and my girlfriend are together for 1 year.....we have a very happy relationship...i have been regular at having massages at home...they are done to me by my male masseau..he is very professional at his job...so i thot of letting my gf have a ...
A. 2 December 2010: Something like that is definitely not part of a normal massage. It's different when he does that to you, you don't have breasts. This man used the circumstances to his advantage to cop a feel, and your girlfriend has every right to feel angry and ... (read in full...)
This guy showed so much potential and now nothing?
Q. About 2 weeks ago i met up with a man that i thought was absoloutly amazing! He took me to the beach, we watched the sunset, talked, kissed! We both had an amazing time, he told me that he was so happy to hang out with me and that i was heaps fun, ...
A. 1 December 2010: Sorry, I don't think that's the reason. You've given him plenty of opportunities and he keeps saying he has to work. Even if that were true, would you really want to be with someone that not only doesn't have the time to date you, but also expects ... (read in full...)
I'm lonely but my g/f forbids me to move into place with girls!
Q. Just wanna know what your opinions on this. Well, I'm currently living alone in one of my dads house. The thing is, I dont mind living alone, but seriously, it's boring. I got no one to talk to, my girlfriends too far away. I mean, really far...
A. 1 December 2010: Simple, don't move out. Or move in with someone else.... (read in full...)
This guy showed so much potential and now nothing?
Q. About 2 weeks ago i met up with a man that i thought was absoloutly amazing! He took me to the beach, we watched the sunset, talked, kissed! We both had an amazing time, he told me that he was so happy to hang out with me and that i was heaps fun, ...
A. 1 December 2010: Under no circumstances should you initiate contact again, you've done so several times already and from what I can tell, he doesn't seem as into it as you are. Men like to chase, and by behaving this way early on, he's going to think he's already ... (read in full...)
Married and feeling attracted to the 19-year-old I'm teaching karate to!
Q. I am a 33 year old male.(most people say i look 25). I am married for three years and she is 25. I have just gone back to uni. I recently started teaching a 19 year old woman karate privately. She is absolutely fantastic, and not your average ...
A. 1 December 2010: I've been in a situation similar to your student's, and was absolutely disgusted to find out someone I trusted and respected would ever consider crossing the line. Not only is it unprofessional, but also really creepy. The fact that you're married ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that he's just not into me? He never responded to my invitation
Q. i work with this guy he is 22 i am 26. i find him very handsome, we get along good at work. we hung out with a group of people last week had some fun so then this week i asked if he wanted to grab some food after work, and i never heard from him. ...
A. 29 November 2010: Don't ask about the other girl unless it's appropriate to casually ask if he's dating anyone (i.e. if he shows more interest and you want to show you're interested as well), otherwise you'll come across as jealous.
However, never getting a reply ... (read in full...)
I asked boyfriend if he loved me. He paused and then said yes. What does the pause mean?
Q. I am with my boyfriend for 10 years. A couple of days ago I was in conversation with him. And we were discussing our relationship and I asked him whether he loves me or not.( WE were not quarreling or I did not push him for an answer, It was just a ...
A. 29 November 2010: A pause doesn't always mean something, you're reading into it far too much. Never ask a loaded question if you're not ready to deal with a potentially disappointing answer. What if he had answered with 'I guess' or even 'no'? He said yes, that's ... (read in full...)
Can stress make OCD worse?
Q. When i was younger i suffered from OCD quite badly. I used to have to do things a certain number of times e.g. switch a light on and off a certain amount of times because i was sure that if i didn't something bad would happen to other people. I know ...
A. 29 November 2010: For some people the compulsive behaviour of OCD is in itself a coping mechanism, with stress being a major trigger. To get over it you'll have to confront the fear that something bad might happen if you don't do a certain thing. Fight the ... (read in full...)
What is the appropriate reaction when others flirt with your partner?
Q. I want to know what people think is the approproate reaction to other people flirting with your partner (whether or not your partner flirts back) I'm lucky enough, for the past year, to have been going out with a very good looking and generally lo...
A. 29 November 2010: He should already know this is inappropriate and shouldn't be fed into, but it seems you need to spell it out for him. There's a line that shouldn't be crossed and by allowing it to happen, he's crossing it too. Anyone with sense would know this ... (read in full...)
Can anyone shed some light on why people behave like this?
Q. What would you do if you were the victim of an emotionally abuse relationship and out of the blue your exgf sent you a breakup email blaming you for the breakup based on behaviors that were exhibited by her and never you? Then nearly a year later ...
A. 29 November 2010: While I can't tell you what exactly caused her to become this way, I can at least tell you the reasons behind why. This behaviour is very common for pathological liars with passive-aggressive tendencies. In their mind they can do no wrong and are ... (read in full...)
When would he expect sex?
Q. Help! I need some advice. I met a guy a week ago. We swapped numbers. He is very sweet, caring and cute! We have been talking and texting and have agreed to go out in a weeks time. Now, I am a virgin, and have not dated for a long time. I rea...
A. 28 November 2010: Two or three months should be enough time to get to know each other as well as show you're not a cheap tart, but it's impossible for me to know how long he'll wait because everyone is different. That's why your own comfort is so important. I've ... (read in full...)
When would he expect sex?
Q. Help! I need some advice. I met a guy a week ago. We swapped numbers. He is very sweet, caring and cute! We have been talking and texting and have agreed to go out in a weeks time. Now, I am a virgin, and have not dated for a long time. I rea...
A. 28 November 2010: Personally, I think you should wait until you become exclusive. Whether you do that or not, the most important thing is to wait until you're absolutely certain. It could take one month or six months, but in the end it all depends on what you feel ... (read in full...)
He wants kids but I don't, sick of his nagging
Q. i'm 22 years old and my boyfriend that i've been with for 3 years wants to have kids...and he keeps naggin me about it...i don't know how to tell him that i dont really want kids..... at all... well idk mayb wen im like 40 but im young and i luv the ...
A. 27 November 2010: You have every right to stand up for your decision, especially considering it's -your- body that would be carrying the brunt of a pregnancy. Besides, 22 is too young to have children these days. As long as you calmly discuss with him what you want ... (read in full...)
Heartbreak Lead to a Heart Attack
Q. Is it possible to suffer a heart attack from a broken heart! I can't breathe......
A. 27 November 2010: The stress resulting from it could be a trigger, but at your age I don't think it's very likely. Still, if you're feeling any of the symptoms of a heart attack you should see a doctor immediately.... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with me for not wishing to partake in sex anymore?
Q. Hi, I am 38 years and I love my partner but i am not at all intersted in sex anymore at all. This started when my second child was born which was bout 6 years ago. I am not sure whther somethinh is wrong with me or what, Thanks....
A. 27 November 2010: It may be a hormonal issue. Have you spoken to your doctor about this?... (read in full...)
Should I message her again now that her account is reactivated?
Q. On an online dating site I messaged a girl a few months ago, she never replied and then de-activated her account. Her account is now active again. Should I message her again or just leave it alone? My gut says leave it alone but I don't know....
A. 27 November 2010: Why not send one more message? It couldn't hurt to try.... (read in full...)
Short affair, and only oral sex
Q. Back in Sept. My husband had a month and a half affair. I didnt find out till the friday before Thanksgiving. The woman's husband called me to let me know what has happened. I told the guy there was no way. Thats not him. We have been together for ...
A. 27 November 2010: One of the worst things to do is to stay together for the sake of your son. Kids are very perceptive and can usually tell when something's not right, not to mention you'll be struggling to come to terms with what happened for a long time. Your ... (read in full...)
Is he actually interested... or is he just playing me?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months and a half now... He was always texting me and trying to make plans, even though things were pretty much last minute so I couldn't see him that often. However, I didn't believe it was just for sex ...
A. 26 November 2010: He may like you, but I don't think he's into you as much as you're into him, otherwise you'd hear from him more often and he wouldn't always make plans at the very last minute. Behaviour like that makes me think he prefers to wait to see if ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to say 'love ya' in a text before we have gone on our first date?
Q. Theres a girl I like. Were suposed to go to a game together in a few days in what I'm assuming is our first date. My question is whether its alright to text her somethin like 'happy thanksgivin ...
A. 25 November 2010: Hm. I'm curious, what might the issue be with her parents? ... (read in full...)
Do I want to marry my current boyfriend or do I just want to get married?
Q. I apologize for how long this is but I need to give you all the details so you can give me educated advice. Let me start from the beginning: I've known my boyfriend since sophomore year of high school. Clearly, he was more into me than I was into ...
A. 25 November 2010: You may want to be married to your boyfriend someday in the future, but right now, it definitely sounds like your main reason is based more on what your friends are doing. Marriage is a really big step, one that you need to be absolutely sure about ... (read in full...)
If a guy cheats once will he repeat it again?
Q. Guys.... If you are once a cheater, will you always be a cheater? ...
A. 25 November 2010: That's an odd statement to make, regardless of alcohol being involved. It's as if to say 'we'll always be together but I'm allowed to cheat on you.' I believe if someone's willing to betray the trust of their partner just to meet their own selfish ... (read in full...)
My husband tries to discipline me when I make a mistake!
Q. I've been married for about 4 months now and I'm having a strange problem with my husband: he wants to walk all over me. he's into spanking in the bedroom which I like but he also tries to "discipline" me when I make a mistake. I tried to play along ...
A. 25 November 2010: Divorce seems to be the only option. He clearly prefers feeling dominant over you than treating you properly and isn't likely to change. The abuse and childish 'punishment' is his way of trying to make you passive, so he'll get what he wants when he ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to say 'love ya' in a text before we have gone on our first date?
Q. Theres a girl I like. Were suposed to go to a game together in a few days in what I'm assuming is our first date. My question is whether its alright to text her somethin like 'happy thanksgivin ...
A. 25 November 2010: It's a bit soon to be saying 'I love you' to each other, in my opinion, but I suppose there's no harm if you're both fine with it.... (read in full...)
B/f only wants me for sex now!
Q. my live in boyfriend of 5 years has moved me out and only wants me for sex for the last year. any way i can get him back...
A. 25 November 2010: He'll stop using you when you stop letting him use you. If he only contacts you when he wants sex, he's not even worth staying with.... (read in full...)
Old man perverts and clueless teenage girls...
Q. Hey I'm a 17 year old boy from Australia and I have a problem. It's pretty strange I guess I see teenage girls walking down the street in mini skirts and their bodies hanging out which is their choice I guess but thats not the problem. I see...
A. 25 November 2010: Young women are the most objectified demographic there is, regardless of how they dress and regardless of their culture. Always have been, always will be. In fact, my experiences are very similar to smiliek's; I'm 23, don't dress to show anything ... (read in full...)
Can I tell him I like him without losing him as a friend?
Q. i really want to tell this guy I like him a lot but I don't want to loose him as a friend what should I do? ...
A. 24 November 2010: It depends. Agood way to decide is to consider which bothers you more: losing him as a friend, or missing out on a relationship with him?... (read in full...)
Does he just want to use me?
Q. okay there's this guy that i really like maybe even love but he has a girlfriend.he knows i like him and he like me as well but likes is girlfriend more so we have been just keeping it as friends.we talked almost every night til about 11:00pm and ...
A. 24 November 2010: Let's say he does break up with her and starts going out with you. Do you really think you'd be able to trust him, in spite of knowing he wanted to have sex with you while still with his previous girlfriend?
He's already shown his true colours,... (read in full...)
What are the steps for making a girl flip for you and for getting her laid?
Q. question(1):- i just want to know the steps a guy can take to make girls trip for a him,becos it appears that without a guy having money,he can't date a girl. question(2):- i want to know the steps to take for gettin a girl laid.thanks....
A. 24 November 2010: Nothing turns a woman off faster than a desperate man that's only interested in one thing. Change your attitude towards relationships and women in general, and you'll see there's more to finding a date than having money and getting laid.
... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend, yet he sent me a picture of his member!
Q. So, theres this guy i like. We met two years ago, and three weeks ago we started talking again. He said he was interested in me. He was having problems with this girl he was with for 10 months. They broke up and he wanted me to be his ...
A. 23 November 2010: Of course you shouldn't, he's looking to use you for some fun on the side and you're willing to let him. At your age you should know better than to cross the line with a taken man in the first place, and by sleeping with him you'd only be setting ... (read in full...)
FWB doesn't want to "ruin the friendship." What does that mean?
Q. What does it mean when a guy you've been friends with for 7 months,but have also been intamate with says that he doesnt want a relationship because he doesnt want to ruin the frienship.Is this just a nice way of saying I don't look at you like that?...
A. 20 November 2010: He wants to keep having sex without the responsibilities of a proper relationship. It's never going to turn into something more than that, and as long as you allow him to use you he's going to keep using you. Move on and next time, if you want a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't let me finish in her mouth!
Q. My girlfriend won't let me finish in her mouth. She is grossed out by semen. How do I get her to open up to the idea. She also does not want to experiment with taking it up the butt even though she did it with someone else previously. Is it disre...
A. 20 November 2010: Yes, it's disrespectful. She has every right to decline doing something she's not comfortable with and clearly dislikes, find something else to do and don't push the issue if she's not into it. You'll just have to respect her choice to do what she ... (read in full...)
He made a joke about fancying my daughter and now I don't want him near her!
Q. I started a relationship with a 35 year old guy last year who doesnt have much experience with women. He is close to his mum and sister and her children but apart from that has always lived alone, has never been pubbing or clubbing and only has a ...
A. 18 November 2010: Comments like that about your daughter are definitely crossing the line, in my opinion. If there wasn't some truth to it, why would anyone bring it up in the first place? The people making them clearly have no common sense, I'd see it as a red flag ... (read in full...)
Does "I like you a lot" mean he is bordering on saying "I love you" but he is too scared?
Q. Just out of curiousity i would like to know if a man that you've been involved with(say a year or more)tells you he "likes you a lot' would you think that there was more to what he was saying than what he was letting on to? I have had people tell ...
A. 16 November 2010: Take it at face value, nothing more. There's no guarantee he's about to say 'I love you', and considering it's been a year and he still hasn't, I don't think he's into this relationship as much as you are. It's understandable if you were only ... (read in full...)
He just got out of a long term relationship and says he wants to be single, but he treats me like a girlfriend?
Q. hi, i have been getting with this guy recently, and from the beginning he told me he doesn't want a girlfriend as; a) he had just got out of a long term relationship b)he wants to be single however as we've spent more time together im really...
A. 16 November 2010: He's already told you he wants to be single, which means he wants to play the field and doesn't want to be tied down to one girl. It his own way, he directly told you all he's looking for is a friend with benefits, i.e. sex with no strings ... (read in full...)
I can't stop myself from pulling out my eyelashes!
Q. dear cupid, soo, this isn't a relationship question, buuut it's something that i REALLY need help with. i guess, really, it's more of a health question. anyways...hopefully, there's somebody on here who can help me out. ever since i was aro...
A. 16 November 2010: It's a compulsive disorder. If will power isn't enough to make you stop, you'll need to seek therapy.... (read in full...)
We had a wonderful first date! So why is he ignoring me now?
Q. Well I recently went out with this guy and am trying to find out why he went Missing In Action on me, when I thought we had a lovely time. He picked me up from my house on the day of our date. He was dressed nice and smelled good. He was respectful ...
A. 15 November 2010: It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, aside from texting a bit too often. Speaking from personal experience, if someone texts me repeatedly after not getting a response, it makes me less likely to reply. It doesn't matter what gender that ... (read in full...)
Can anyone decode his odd behaviour???
Q. Been dating a guy on and off for the last two months - he seems mad into me but I am not mad into him. I like the fact he has been spoiling me and buying me nice stuff.. But now I wonder is he trying to buy my love more?? I missed a few calls and ...
A. 15 November 2010: There's no how, you just don't. Why are you still speaking to him at all?... (read in full...)
It went from dating to FWBs!
Q. Ok so this guy I was dating broke up with me a couple weeks ago. I was crushed because I did like him although I never thought of him as a marriage material. Our personalities were clashing and I think he just got fed up, which is why he chose to ...
A. 13 November 2010: No, it doesn't. You clearly still have feelings for him, but that may not be the case on his side. At this point he's looking to use you for his own benefit, but I'm guessing you want to sleep with him because you're still emotionally attached. A ... (read in full...)
For the guys, on a scale of 1-10 rate how would you rate your girlfriends/wives and why?
Q. I asked my boyfriend on a scale of 1-10 what am I? He replied with Im an 8. Is that bad? I mean shouldnt he really think Im atleast a 9. Hes one of those guys who believes no-one is perfect so I understand not being a 10 but 8 really. I wonde...
A. 13 November 2010: Okay, questions like this shouldn't be asked in the first place. You can't expect him to know to tell you what you want to hear, and 8 really isn't bad anyway. It's a non-issue.
Refrain from questions that are asked out of insecurity or a need f... (read in full...)
"I haven't explored the sea enough" thoughts.
Q. I am making this post to pretty much get "free therapy". I know I am having some emotions, but I don't fully know how to interpret them. Here is the situation at its basic level. I recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. She has been in ...
A. 11 November 2010: Well, it depends on what you really want. Quality or quantity? Would you rather experience sex with several women, or lots of sex with the woman you love?
It doesn't make you a bad person and it's normal to wonder what else is out there, but by p... (read in full...)
Can anyone decode his odd behaviour???
Q. Been dating a guy on and off for the last two months - he seems mad into me but I am not mad into him. I like the fact he has been spoiling me and buying me nice stuff.. But now I wonder is he trying to buy my love more?? I missed a few calls and ...
A. 7 November 2010: No. There's absolutely no reason to, it's only going to make him think you're still interested.... (read in full...)
Can anyone decode his odd behaviour???
Q. Been dating a guy on and off for the last two months - he seems mad into me but I am not mad into him. I like the fact he has been spoiling me and buying me nice stuff.. But now I wonder is he trying to buy my love more?? I missed a few calls and ...
A. 6 November 2010: You can definitely still date, however you have to be a LOT more careful with who you choose. As for the creepy guy, especially considering the things he said about picking up women while babysitting etc., I would block his number and ignore him ... (read in full...)
Can anyone decode his odd behaviour???
Q. Been dating a guy on and off for the last two months - he seems mad into me but I am not mad into him. I like the fact he has been spoiling me and buying me nice stuff.. But now I wonder is he trying to buy my love more?? I missed a few calls and ...
A. 6 November 2010: Why should you give him another chance? He's had plenty of time to prove he's a decent guy, yet hasn't, because he's not. He's the type that wants what he wants when he wants it, and thinks giving you expensive things is the surefire way to get into ... (read in full...)
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