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| Latest articles: Facebook: What does it really mean?
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 July 2010: Nothing! Several situations can be mistaken to mean something more, when they truly don't carry much significance. For example: The friend you've been crushing on for the last six months accepts your third attempt at a friend request, and...
What to do when the person you're attracted to is already taken.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 July 2010: Run the hell away. I've seen several questions of this nature on the site. It seems like a simple problem, although in reality it's not. It's complicated and messy, and almost always leaves one person's emotions in ruins while the other enjoys hav...
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Why did he want to know if I was a virgin?
Q. I met this guy who is in the same program as me in my university He is really nice and always gives me advice. I like him and I think he likes me too, because he tells me why a nice girl like me doesn't have a boyfriend. we text each other ...
A. 3 January 2011: He's just covering his ass he was bored. Out of all the questions he could've asked, he asked you a personal question related to sex. Seriously, what else could that say other than 'I want to have no strings attached sex with you'?... (read in full...)
He's a nice guy, but there's no chemistry. Am I allowed to be picky at my age?
Q. I am 50 years old and I met a very nice man online dating. We went on two dates and he's done everything right. He is nice, has a good career and great kids. But there is no spark. It's so frustrating. He's asked me to go on a day trip this ...
A. 3 January 2011: I agree with the others, there's no reason not to be somewhat picky at any age. It's better than settling for someone just for the sake being in a relationship, which wouldn't be fair to either of you.
If the spark isn't there, it's not there. S... (read in full...)
Is the porn industry corrupting me?
Q. My new years resolution would be not to masturbate while dating. Though since im not I do everyday after school ( Finished all my homework etc.) will it be hard to stop. the reason(s) are below 2. I heard that an over consumsion of Pornagra...
A. 3 January 2011: Too much exposure can have a numbing effect, and for some people it results in becoming bored with one act in particular or 'normal' sex in general. That usually leads to the need for something more stimulating or extreme, until it eventually ... (read in full...)
Does she actually think I would have a chance with a beautiful model?
Q. My gf and I were watching television the other day and an ad with this attractive model came on, she asked me, 'Would you approach her?', even though she knows I'm not the type to flirt with other women. She doesn't act like the insecure type a...
A. 3 January 2011: She asked that solely for reassurance. People ask loaded questions like this because they're insecure, and think the only way to overcome that is to test someone and see if they'll give the right response. They're usually looking not for an honest ... (read in full...)
Is he leading me on? Does he just want a friend with benefits? I'm confused
Q. Ok so I met this guy a couple years ago and we were friends with benefits for a short while. Then in the begining of 09 he moved out of state but we started talking again right before he moved. We really liked each other but lost touch again soon ...
A. 3 January 2011: Most men aren't exactly subtle, if they want to be with you they'll make sure you know it. They won't make plans and then cancel by saying it was just a joke.
I don't think he has a clue what he really wants, other than to keep you around o... (read in full...)
How can you spot a player?
Q. I took things slowly with my ex, went on dates, met his friends and family, didn't sleep with him until at least a couple of months. Yet I still got played. Still got cheated on and dumped by text. So how can you tell?...
A. 3 January 2011: Players act differently than someone that would cheat if given the opportunity. Players lose patience quickly, and usually move on once they've gotten what they wanted or haven't gotten it soon enough.
On the other hand, there's no way to tell who... (read in full...)
Found out boyfriend is on dating sites, what now?
Q. Been going out with my fella for 6 months thought things were going well, he is supposed to be coming to see me tomm night, my friend has just seen him sign up today for a dating site saying same old me back for another crack at it. if he turns up...
A. 1 January 2011: Simple, ask him about it and see how he reacts. If he gets really defensive, it means he's up to something he knows he shouldn't be doing. The most classic sign of this is if he calls you paranoid, crazy, insecure, etc. It's how people caught off ... (read in full...)
HIs attitude has changed overnight and I don't know what I did!
Q. Hi I have been dating a man for a few months and everything was going really well. He complimented me and wanted to speak and spend time with me. We spent xmas together and I stayed at his (invited of course)Then all of a sudden on the Monday he...
A. 1 January 2011: There's a possibility you haven't done anything and he simply lost interest for whatever reason. Then again, it could be anything, even something miniscule. Some people are just like that. Assuming you had sex when you spent the night at his place, ... (read in full...)
Guys just use me and never want a relationship.
Q. Well, I've live my life for 19 years now just. I still feel ugly and i still feel unloved. Everyman i've been with just nail and bails me or wants to be "fuck buddies". i feel used and i cant stop crying. I think im being a little over dramatising ...
A. 31 December 2010: Sorry about that, your question was very vague about what happened. However, I still stand by my original answer; giving men too much too soon of anything is never a good idea if you're looking for a relationship. ... (read in full...)
Why would he kiss me when he is in a relationship?
Q. I have liked a guy who works at my local pub for over a year. Recently a friend of mine told him that I like him and subsequently he told me that he feels the same. The problem is he has a girlfriend - they have been together for two years. I ...
A. 31 December 2010: Because he's lookng to cheat on her and take advantage of your feelings for his benefit.... (read in full...)
I don't want the relationship with married co-worker to go any further but he's started talking to me about sex
Q. I have been working in this company for some time. I got shifted to a new branch of the company, in another part of the city recently. I'm writing about one of my male colleagues in my new office. He's married, with 3 children. I'm single and i...
A. 31 December 2010: The only reason he would turn the conversation to sex is because he wants to sleep with you. There's no deeper meaning to it, he wants sex and he's testing you to see how far he'll get. It's up to you to draw the line and let him know it's ... (read in full...)
Guys just use me and never want a relationship.
Q. Well, I've live my life for 19 years now just. I still feel ugly and i still feel unloved. Everyman i've been with just nail and bails me or wants to be "fuck buddies". i feel used and i cant stop crying. I think im being a little over dramatising ...
A. 30 December 2010: It's crap you have to put up with because you allow it to happen. You didn't know the guy that well and still slept with him, it's completely unrealistic to expect men to respect you if you don't even have much respect for yourself.
... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair and he ignored me at the bar!
Q. I've been seeing a co-worker for 3 years. I'm separated and he's married and we enjoy each other's company. Recently we met other co-workers at a bar for the holiday. I was there before he was and when he came in he basically ignored me. He walked ...
A. 30 December 2010: I'm not a man, but I can offer an opinion from the outside.
Let's be realistic; the vast majority of men would be sexually interested in a 26 year old, especially if they had the opportunity to sleep with one, and he was obviously interest... (read in full...)
He flirts online! Do I stay or do I go?
Q. So I need advice, I have been married for 7 years now, and my husband has been looking at personals for about 6 years. not only does he look but he replies and his answers are very sexual. He has also registered at single's websites in the past but ...
A. 30 December 2010: He's actively looking on singles' sites, which means he's actively looking to cheat and probably already is. Don't let him explain it away, there's no excuse for it. You say 'all he does now is Craigslist singles'.. how is that any better? The ... (read in full...)
Why did he reject me for New Year's?
Q. dear cupids, I have a boyfriend who I have had for the last six months I have been trying like crazy to get together with him for winter break. He finally said let's do something new years eve and I was so excited that I could have screamed :) half ...
A. 30 December 2010: It sounds like he's just not as into you as you are in him. Otherwise, it wouldn't be so hard to make definite plans. Besides, a real boyfriend would invite you along to the party rather than cancel on you.
It doesn't make a lot of sense that you... (read in full...)
Husband is cold fish - no loving cuddles or hugs..
Q. I am not sure what to do about this situation. My husband of 14 years does not (or can not) give any loving cuddles or embraces. I watched my sister and her husband cuddle while visiting at my parents house, I was very envious, and it broke my ...
A. 29 December 2010: He obviously has issues with physical affection. Does it affect other aspects of your marriage, or is it limited to hugs and cuddling?... (read in full...)
How do I know if he will be serious with me unlike the other girls he has played with?
Q. I have been dating this guy on and off for the last seven months. He treats me amazing and has always been there but my friends think something is alittle off. He has told me he played other girls before me but I am different. Would a player stay ...
A. 29 December 2010: A player would tell you what he knows you want to hear, i.e. you're different than all the others and that he changed for you. This is how they play girls and get a reputation. You haven't even been dating him consistently, that alone should be a ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my sister that her boyfriend is coming on to me?
Q. my sister is 2 years younger than me and she has a bf the same age as me. They've gone out 4r a year! She's lost her virginity with him and has told me that he is the one and that she loves him. And she isn't messing, she takes love very seriously! ...
A. 29 December 2010: Yes, tell her. It's better for her to find out now, she deserves to know what kind of person she's with. It'll be a painful thing to hear but if you were in her shoes, wouldn't you want to know the truth?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes anal sex but it hurts
Q. My boyfriend and I have been talking about anal sex since after we had vaginal sex. So, it's been about six months now... We had anal sex (barely) once before and it hurt like hell. I ended up crapping blood for a couple days after that. That was ...
A. 29 December 2010: The real question should be is this something YOU want to do, or is it something you want to do only because he wants it? After that experience, I'm surprised you're even considering it. Lubricant can help a lot, but there's no guarantee it's n... (read in full...)
How do I make him fall in love with me?
Q. hi my name is noni,i am in love with this guy,but he loves my cousin and he proposed to her behind my back,how do i get him back because i am deeply in love with him.help!!!! ...
A. 29 December 2010: Why would you want to be with someone that would do that, anyway? Sorry to say it, but you can't force him to love you. He's just not interested.... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend...how do I tell him I like him?
Q. Here we go again. So I used to like this guy A LOT. I was or maybe still am on and off with liking him. When he didn't have a girlfriend I didn't want him to know that I liked him but somehow it got out and he gave me his number. I am the type of ...
A. 29 December 2010: It's up to him to grow up and end it with her if he's really that unhappy in the relationship. Until then, don't tell him how you feel. It'll only complicate an already messy situation.... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend become gay? Why was he intimate with his gay friend in the past if he is not?
Q. My boyfriend has had some expiriments with his best guy friend in the past before we dated. He had another girlfriend at the time, and while he was dating her, continued to have this sort of 'secret relationship' with this friend. His friend had ...
A. 29 December 2010: He's not going to 'turn' gay, he experimented with his friend because part of him was already attracted to men. He's probably bi but confused about it.
As for him cheating, you have no way of knowing if he will. If he hasn't given you any real rea... (read in full...)
Should I give this secretive relationship more time or just seize the day and go for it?
Q. For the past six months, I have sort of been seeing this guy. We met at a house party and got talking the day after when he asked for my number and things happened from there. We have spent time with friends and more time alone. Recently, we were at ...
A. 29 December 2010: 'But sometimes, due to my insecurities I worry that because of our relationship being private is a bad thing.' Your instincts are right, it's a bad thing. Thinking so doesn't mean you're insecure. The comment he made about wanting you to stay the ... (read in full...)
How can I look hot and sexy when people keep mistaking me for a cute little girl?
Q. This is probably kinda shallow but i'm having a hard time trying to be sexy. People older than me tell me i'm a pretty girl but i always think they're lying. the thing is i wanna be sexy or hot and i'm more cute in a little girl way. i have a small ...
A. 29 December 2010: At 14 you're not an adult yet, until you hit 18 you're legally still considered a child. Swearing and acting overly sexual does nothing but make you look ignorant and slutty, even desperate for attention. It'll make other people think less of you, ... (read in full...)
What can this itching be?
Q. the outer area of my vaginal hole(?) it itches so bad could this be a sign of a yeast infection. please help cause i dont want to tell my mom and go to the doctor and it be nothin cause that would be embarrising....
A. 29 December 2010: Well, think of it this way. Is it better to avoid embarrassment that would only last a few minutes, or avoid a serious infection that can possibly affect your health and fertility? If you have no idea what it is, you also have no idea how serious it ... (read in full...)
Guy with Aspergers sundrome seeking dating advice.
Q. Hello, I am an adult male with Aspergers Syndrome, who is trying to have a fulfilling dating life. The problem is, with Aspergers, I don’t see the connection between myself and the other person so readily. An example would be, someone would te...
A. 29 December 2010: It's not necessarily a matter of lacking intuition and I wouldn't blame that particular case on Asperger's, in that instance you were expected to automatically know what she wanted. A statement like that is a way of saying 'I want help but won't ask ... (read in full...)
Why did he want to know if I was a virgin?
Q. I met this guy who is in the same program as me in my university He is really nice and always gives me advice. I like him and I think he likes me too, because he tells me why a nice girl like me doesn't have a boyfriend. we text each other ...
A. 29 December 2010: It means he's interested in having sex with you, it has nothing to do with age. Some guys place too much importance on purity, and they like the idea of being a girl's first. Others just want to add to the list of how many times they've taken a ... (read in full...)
Why do some men play games???
Q. why do some men play games?? they say they like you, u say u like them now the more u try to talk to him, the more he baks away but the more i bak away the more he acts interested...im tired of the circles..he knws i like him..we miles away right ...
A. 29 December 2010: This isn't a game in the same sense as the ones women tend to play. I doubt he's doing it purposely to mess with your head.
He acts interested when you back off because you're more of a challenge. Men like to chase, they lose interest when the... (read in full...)
What is the difference between a friends with benefits and a lover?
Q. can somebody tell me the difference between a friends with benefits and a lover: He said that I am his lover.... what does this mean? Does he care about me for the future? or is this just a temporary sex relationship? What do you guys thi...
A. 28 December 2010: They mean the same thing, in my opinion. 'Lover' is just a sugarcoated term for a friend with benefits. It'd be safe to assume it's temporary and not going anywhere.... (read in full...)
He cheated, I mentioned divorce and now he wants another chance
Q. Hi I am married for 11 yrs and my husband cheated.I gave him 2nd chance but he decided to leave again. After 6 months he came back and wants another chance. I told him about divorce and suddenly he wants another chance. What is yr advice???...
A. 28 December 2010: I agree with the others, how do you know he didn't come crawling back because he was dumped? I don't believe cheaters deserve a second chance, and definitely not a third or fourth. He cheated on you and was taken back in spite of that, which means ... (read in full...)
Is there something going on between my middle-aged boyfriend and teenage shop girl?
Q. My boyfriend is 52 and I'm in my mid 30's so quite an age gap but we've been together for nearly 10 years. He goes to the corner shop on a daily basis to buy some chocolate and a drink (I rarely go) and over the last couple of months he's taking ...
A. 28 December 2010: It sounds like he's interested in her, and she's definitely interested in him. In my experience, middle-aged men generally don't go out of their way to talk to a younger woman just for the conversation or just to be nice. On that note, she wouldn't ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to say sweet things out of the blue?
Q. First off, ilove my boyfriend. Ireally do 3 he's truly amazing ! He makes me feel like I'm the only girl for him. He definately goes above and beyond for me. The only problem is that he's not the PDA type. Imean he is physically and all that, but ...
A. 28 December 2010: You can't. Be glad with what you have, expecting more from a person not willing to give more will only lead to disappointment.... (read in full...)
I feel like the less valued person in this relationship.
Q. I am sort of dating this guy, who is also my flatmate. We´ve know eachother for about 3 months and i know i like him more than he likes me. I feel that in our ¨relationship¨ i am the lower value person (i always seek his company, etc) and i would ...
A. 28 December 2010: Be more distant. As things are right now, he knows you'll come around even if he doesn't bother seeking you out. Maybe he's just not that into you. It's still early, and it's a messy situation because you live together.
Am I right in guessing... (read in full...)
Why does he ignore me to flirt with my best friend?
Q. why does he ignore me after we have been talking for time and flirts wit my best mate even though he knows me and her are friends?...
A. 28 December 2010: Because he likes her but isn't interested in you. I'm guessing he also doesn't know you like him.... (read in full...)
Are we even still dating? He said he doesn't want obligations.
Q. Sorry if this gets a bit lobg, but I am beyond confused and need some second opinions. So today marks nine months in my LDR. According to him, it's eight but that's besides the point. I guess I should just be happy he even remembered with the way ...
A. 28 December 2010: He wants an open relationship, from what it sounds like. That means while he's still technically with you, he can date other girls and do whatever else he wants in the meantime. ... (read in full...)
All he can talk about is sex!
Q. Let me start by saying me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 months and I love him with all my heart. He says he feels the same but sometimes I beg to differ. Anyway, lately all that's been on his mind is sex sex sex. I mean I don't mind, I ...
A. 28 December 2010: I agree completely with Dirtball, actions speak much, much louder than words. You were right, and he didn't like that. Now he's trying to turn the focus to you and make it seem like you're the one that did something wrong. You did absolutely n... (read in full...)
What is considered nagging?
Q. What does nag means to girl? I'm having fear of whether or not should i message this girl about my concern for her. I fear that she interpret my message as nagging......
A. 28 December 2010: Bothering someone repeatedly about one thing in particular is nagging. Asking someone how they're doing isn't.... (read in full...)
Why would she stay with him after he cheated on her?
Q. Hello All! My question is "Why does a girl stay with a guy after she finds out that he was cheating on her?" I dated this guy for a few months and then found out he had a girlfriend the whole time. I told the girlfriend and she still is with him...
A. 28 December 2010: There are a lot of reasons, but most often it's related to having low self-esteem and very little self respect.... (read in full...)
If he really loved her he wouldn't cheat on her with me right?
Q. I am extremely torn and confused over a guy that I was with 8 years ago for 1.5 years. Because of certain circumstances we had broken it off and recently about 4 months ago he came back into my life. He remembers everything we have done, all the ...
A. 28 December 2010: There are men out there that will say anything to get you to have sex with them. Bottom line, he's with you because you continue to sleep with him and don't ask for more than half of his love. If he really cared for you he'd leave her, but e... (read in full...)
I can't leave because of the kids, but our relationship is terrible.
Q. i am in a terrible situation and would love to get some advice i have been with my partner for 5 years now. we have 4 children who i love very much. Me and my partner dont get on we always argue. Every day there is something im doing wrong i tidy up ...
A. 28 December 2010: Nothing can justify leaving your partner for her sister. No matter how your girlfriend treats you or how much you think you love her, there's no excuse. Even so much as considering this doesn't seem like a nice thing for a supposedly nice guy to ... (read in full...)
I do all the housework and he refuses to contribute or help.
Q. I don't know what to do. I am in a relationship with a guy who is a year younger than me. He moved in with me three months ago (after online dating for two--I know it was a little soon...) I'm starting to get second thoughts about continuing a ...
A. 28 December 2010: The easiest way to stop this behaviour is to stop treating him like he's your child. Why should you worry about his credit and pay his bills? They're not your responsibility, they're his. Why should you cook his meals every night when it goes ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to get married again. Is this a deal breaker?
Q. my boyfriend is going through a divorce and experienced a bad relationship. He feels as if the marriage ruined it. He told me he cannot see himself ever marrying again. Ever since I was a little girl i have always wanted to be happily married. ...
A. 28 December 2010: One thing to always remember; never try to change someone into what you think they should be. You're setting yourself up for disappointment that way, because for all you know, you could in fact be a rebound. The biggest clue this is a possibility... (read in full...)
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