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Is 2 weeks of dating too soon to express my concerns about his facebook?

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Question - (29 August 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2009)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

I am seeing a guy i met on the internet, he has many female friends on facebook who are younger and prettier than me. I am jelous of this, and wonder why he needs to flirt with them? I dont know if hes met any of them. We have only been together for 2 weeks. He says he wants me to feature in his plans for the future, so why does he do this?

Should i mention my concerns or is it too early to confront him?

View related questions: facebook, flirt, the internet

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (1 September 2009):

xanthic agony auntTwo weeks a bit early to feel jealous, and it sounds as though you're already possessive of him. Try not to worry about it for a while, see what happens.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (29 August 2009):

It sounds like he's used to being single and is just a bit of a flirty guy.

Some people can watch their partner flirt, knowing it's just a laugh... many people can't handle it as their jealousy just kicks in.

I think it's best off to get this in the open really early on. There's no point falling for the guy and then saying "I love you, now change who you are." That's not very fair.

When you are chatting next time bring up the subject of you and him and just be honest. Tell him you are a little insecure and don't think you can see yourself dating a guy who flirts with younger girls, even if it is in a joking big brother way. (I refuse to believe they are prettier. That's just your low self esteem talking.)

If he says he'll try and stop it then give him a chance. If he says that's just the way he is and he likes having young female friends, then you know where you stand: Either learn to put up with it, knowing he's with you and not them, or cut your losses and let him go nice and early.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, Ifyoudontmind United States +, writes (29 August 2009):

thats pretty fresh to be jealous, its pretty fresh to discuss the future. I would suggest being more casual about it. And sort of mock the girls profiles.

Make it playful, but still be half serious.

Something to the effect of.

"Oh look at this blonde girl, her breasts almost fit in that top"

You know , it shows that youre taking notice to the other females, but it also says youre more confident and you KNOW your better than them.

Keep your chin up! remember, he is dating YOU. not them, YOU.

-iydm

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (29 August 2009):

hlskitten agony auntTricky one. This would probably concern me a tad too if I just met someone.

Chances are he was a bit lonely, whilst he was single. So built up this friendship base on face book. I'm amzed most the time the amount of 'friends' people have on there! Ive got about 20-30, and they are all either family or friends from the real world. But I dont believe for a minute the hundreds that people have, they actually know in real life!

If he was just passing time and adding people to face book because he spent a lot of time on line, then the chances are, once he gets into something long term with you, they will fall by the way side?

So at the moment I bet its nothing to concern yourself about. But like you, I probably would! Its easier to say from an outsiders point of view isn't it.

I would probably mention it sometime soon if it was me. Just in a casual way. Simply because thats the way I am lol

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