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Facebook: What does it really mean?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (11 July 2010) 12 Comments - (Newest, 12 November 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, xanthic writes:

Nothing! Several situations can be mistaken to mean something more, when they truly don't carry much significance.

For example:

The friend you've been crushing on for the last six months accepts your third attempt at a friend request, and two weeks later makes a status update with lyrics from a romantic song. This must apply to you and mean he's in love with you, right? Wrong.

Your boyfriend 'likes' the status or picture of another girl on Facebook. Should you break up and never speak to him again? Of course not!

Your best friend 'liked' your girlfriend's picture. She's definitely cheating on you with him! ..Or maybe he just likes the picture.

Your ex blocked you from AIM and removed you from his friend list. It's the end of the world as you know it! Or not. It's your ex-boyfriend acting like an ex-boyfriend.

Ultimately, most of what takes place on Facebook and sites of that nature isn't enough to become paranoid or stressed over, because it's trivial and impersonal in comparison to what takes place in real life. Don't allow yourself to fall into the habit of thinking there's something more to everything said online, especially when it isn't even said directly to you. More often than not, there isn't.

View related questions: best friend, crush, facebook

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010):

Facebook is good for staying in touch with people you don't see often but it can be a bad thing too. I met up with an old school friend whom i'd got back in contact with on fb and it turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. He ended up breaking my heart, then i had the pleasure of seeing the pictures of him and his new girlfriend posted everywhere. That was tough believe me.

Now he still wants to get in my pants while he's with her and i can't move on untill i get the courage to remove him from bloody facebook, which i haven't managed to do yet.

If i could go back i would have NEVER gotten facebook.

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A female reader, Natalie:) United Kingdom +, writes (4 November 2010):

Natalie:) agony auntIt will be interesting to see how sting the backlash against Facebook will be. Especially as people spend so much time on it and it's come on so strongly.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010):

facebook did me a favor..my exboyfriend of 5 years was cheating on me and i found out on facebook. I was single for 7 months decided to try and date and the guy i was talking to said he was single and would'nt you know it...found out he had a girlfriend on facebook..the kicker..i dont have a facebook account my friend has one and we were just browsing..blessing in disguise

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010):

I agree with the post. :(/:)

On facebook I met a special person. When things didnt work out and he decided to stay away, he deleted me from his friends on facebook. Yup, it felt like the end of the world but look: IM still alive! the earth is still rotating :)

Facebook has brought me laughs and tears. :)

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A female reader, Beauty V Brains United Kingdom +, writes (19 July 2010):

but what about if your boyfriend broke up with you for a 2nd time because of interfierers commented wooo on a picture of these popular girls with bikini/bras on and then got bk together with you?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010):

Facebook is a blessing and a curse at the same time

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A male reader, xnickx United States +, writes (18 July 2010):

xnickx agony auntthank you :) thank you:) thank you :)

Ive been meaning to write an article like this but just havent gotten around to it.

Even more personal things like interactions that happen between 2 people get blown out of proportion all too often. its only text, there are no emotions involved, and even the slightest joke can be taken the wrong way.

Nick.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010):

Facebook has caused me a lot of stress and upset. I have to admit that for a while I did get a bit reliant on Facebook. I know some people who seriously do LIVE on that site! So I thought it couldn't be all that bad.

But I have discovered that, as other people have pointed out, a lot of what happens on there is not real. At least, that's how it has been for me. There have been times when I have been experiencing problems and have reached out for help on there, only to discover that those people who were supposedly "friends" are not really friends at all.

I think Facebook is fine to use for enjoyment, like to keep up to date with people or have fun or whatever, but as this article has pointed out, I think the risk is in taking it too seriously. I did that, and it was so upsetting. So yes, Facebook has it's place, but it is important to try and not allow it to become your only way of communicating with people. I've learned that the hard way. Thank you for this article, I thought I was alone in my feelings towards Facebook until now! :-)

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (14 July 2010):

xanthic is verified as being by the original poster of the question

xanthic agony auntI fully agree, JustMex. It enables such childish, passive-aggressive behaviour.

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A female reader, JustMex United Kingdom +, writes (14 July 2010):

JustMex agony auntI've seen and heard a lot of arguments caused because of petty things like that! It's usually friends b*tching about other people or their ex or even their boyfriends/girlfriends ex. I tend to stay away from the drama on Facebook, if anyone has a problem with me they can talk about it away from Facebook, not over it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010):

Can't agree with you more. Facebook sucks

NightFairy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010):

Oh my god! I hate facebook!! It's so stupid!

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