A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A little background first. I am a 22 year old male dating a 20 year old single mother. He have known each other since High School and dated one for a short period of time. My problem is that she seems to believe that I am stupid. When asking about her day or any topic it seems I'll ask questions to get the details of the events and apparently I am not perceptive enough for her because she gets frustrated and says things along the line of "Does 1 + 1 not equal 2 for you?" How should I go about dealing with this? It is getting to the point where I am getting so embarrassed and upset constantly that I am thinking of completely quiting making any inquiries of any kind of her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe was on birth control. Apparently I represent the .1 percentile or she didn't practice perfect use or I have super sperm. Anyway I can't support an abortion. I don't believe in it. I'll just have to work all this out with her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): Well, suggest an abortion, and offer to help her pay for it, that ought to send a clear message that you want nothing to do with her. You have a right as the father though if you both decide to keep the baby to see the child. This isn't going to be easy as she sounds like a revengeful bitch....why did you go off and have sex with a woman who already has one child without her being on the birth control pill?.....????????? Condoms break and they can leak....or did you just throw caution to the wind and use the pull out method? None of my business, I am just dumbfounded sometimes why people can't learn what causes pregnancy....
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 June 2008):
 Congratulations! Happy fatherhood to you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhen it rains...it pours.
She's pregnant. Just found out today. Saw the test myself.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (9 June 2008):
 Pack your stuff and leave. You're getting brow-beaten and you don't deserve to be mistreated. Please seriously consider it -- let her find another housekeeper!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (9 June 2008):
It is no wonder you are treated like a servant .
Don't be a househusband. Set your limits and boundaries or get out of her life.
She is just using you.
Go and get a better paying job.
Tell her , 1+1 = 3
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I called her out on it among other things and apparently I am an "Ungrateful ass" I don't know how that works. I watch and care for her son while she is at work 4 days a week, I cook, clean, and do her laundry. She pays me five dollars an hour to do all this and when she gets home she tell me how bad her days was and criticizes my house keeping.
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A
female
reader, I'llTryToHelp +, writes (3 June 2008):
 First of all, she should be grateful that you're interested enough to ask questions and I commend you. Most guys are the opposite.What she is doing is considered verbal abuse. Anything someone says to us continually to demean us or make us feel small is verbal abuse and very wrong. The next time she does it, ask her why she speaks to you that way. I bet she tries to avoid answering. If she does, repeat the question. Why do you speak to me this way? Keep asking until she give you an answer.What you do next depends on her answer. If she says she thinks you're stupid, then you need to move on. If she says she doesn't know or didn't realize it bothered you so much, follow it up with how you don't like her words or tone and it's very disrespectful. Tell her if it continues, you're not sure your relationship can.Whatever you do, it can't continue. You're already feeling the effects of her words and you're too young to lose what little self-confidence you've managed to gain at your young age. Put a stop to it. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Oceania  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 Confront her, dont let her treat you like that. You are not stupid you deserve respect, and if she talks like that, she is no good. Why dont you start to treat her like she does? Treat her bad, when she tells you something nasty give her a good comeback. She'll start treat you different. You'll see, good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): I dont know the whole story here but.. Maybe she doesnt want to answer 20 questions when she gets home from work. She probably just wants you to listen and agree with her and be on her side. Listen to her and give her feedback. Let her know that you are listening to her and make her feel like what she is saying is important. If the put downs dont stop, then tell her, hey why are you always putting me down. Trust me. She'll tell you why. And she'll probably be honest too! But try more listening and less asking.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (2 June 2008):
I COMPLETELY agree with rhythmandblues2's advice! You either need to be respected or you need to move on... So, I second the motion on the floor!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Uh hummm, she sounds like a real bitch to me.....she is trying to intimidate you is all and you are letting her get away with it. Remember we teach people how to treat us..if you continue to tolerate her putdowns and snide remarks, then she will continue to do it. She is not showing you respect and respect is the cornerstone of any relationship.
Next time she does something like this, open the door and walk through it and don't come back.....or confront her by saying, is it really necessary for you to be so critical and unkind? Don't accept anything less than an apology and a discontinuation of this behavior....you don't deserve to be putdown like this.
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