| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Porn and insecurities
Q. I need help. I know that there are a TON of porn and strip club questions out there, I know. But I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it has been great. We get along so well, we have a lot in common, e...
A. 31 August 2012: If men are getting off on violence against women they are the ones in the wrong. It is not women who need to change their perspectives on this. Given that globally male violence against women is the single greatest cause of injury to women, women ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's cheating ex is coming over to stay with her and I'm not cool with it!
Q. Please help?! I met this girl a few months ago on a dating website. Anyway I totally fell for her. I'm in love with her. She totally blew me away. However there has been a few situations. Please let me explain. I have on 3 separate occasions c...
A. 31 August 2012: No you are not overreacting at all. Honestly she does not sound like girlfriend material at all. She is on dating sites and lies about them (what is she doing on the dating sites) and she is inviting over exes to sleep over, which is bad enough on ... (read in full...)
Porn and insecurities
Q. I need help. I know that there are a TON of porn and strip club questions out there, I know. But I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it has been great. We get along so well, we have a lot in common, e...
A. 31 August 2012: I wasn't going to respond again, but why would you want to be a man who fantasizes about treating women so violently? How could that possibly be a POSITIVE thing to have your boyfriend fantasizing that he's gagging women and making them cry and ... (read in full...)
This don't make sense. How is it possible that he contracted chlamydia if we have both been faithful?
Q. i have been in a four year relationship, i have had many pap smear done and been tested for all std's, my man just went to the health department and got tested, and they told him he would have to come back in a couple of days to know the results, ...
A. 31 August 2012: Did you contract it this time? Like your last test was clean but this test came back positive, or did this one come back clean as well? Has he been tested before (like at the beginning or while you were dating)? It's possible he has had the whole ... (read in full...)
Porn and insecurities
Q. I need help. I know that there are a TON of porn and strip club questions out there, I know. But I really need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it has been great. We get along so well, we have a lot in common, e...
A. 30 August 2012: I have a TON of links/information about this on my profile, head over and take a look. The majority of women are not OK with porn in their relationships.
If you need help talking to him about it, I recommend the book The Porn Trap by Larry an... (read in full...)
Lately I've been getting thicker and lots more discharge than I'd normally get. Is this normal?
Q. Hey Agony Aunts/Uncles, Basically, over the past couple of weeks I've been getting thicker and lots more discharge than I'd normally get. I know I've not got an STI because I haven't had sex since I was last given the all clear for any infectio...
A. 30 August 2012: Most discharge infections aren't STIs. You probably have some kind of infection, like a yeast infection. Just head over to the doctor and they will help you out.... (read in full...)
I want to call off the engagement! I'm freaking out!
Q. I am freaking out! I am getting married next month and... I don't want to!! I want to call this engagement off! It's not that I don't love my bf, it's just that this whole marriage thing is scaring the hell out of me. So many things can go wrong in...
A. 30 August 2012: It sounds like you're just getting cold feet. Sure, you can call off the engagement. But you're almost certainly going to lose your relationship. I really don't see how it could survive something like that.
You are suddenly realizing that you are ... (read in full...)
Tightness of a virgin, truth or myth?
Q. OK, I have often wondered about this. I have never been with a virgin but have always wondered if I am missing out. My wife was VERY inexperienced when we got together. 2 guys a total of 3 times.Not sure she could feel any tighter when we first ...
A. 30 August 2012: Vaginas do not stretch as a result of having sex. A virgin will often be fairly unaroused and be "clenched" up and it would probably feel tighter (and drier), but nothing about a woman's vagina permanently changes after having sex. The only thing ... (read in full...)
I need someone's help, what should I do? My girlfriend is watching lesbian porn. It bothers me, should I talk to her?
Q. I just found out that my gf is watching lesbian porn...when I'm not home idk its kinda bother me what should I do..we have been togetherfor a year and half and we have sex at least 4 time a week should I talk to her about it ...
A. 30 August 2012: Is it the porn or the lesbian part that bothers you? If the lesbian part, most straight porn is made for straight men and generally isn't that appealing to most women, it doesn't mean she is a lesbian.
If it's the porn part, I have many links ab... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have a really good relationship with your mother-in-law?
Q. Hello everyone. So... my husband is often abroad for work. I lost my mom to cancer a couple of years ago. Since day 1 I've bonded with my mother in law whom I consider like a mother and a best friend. So, while my husband is abroad I often (say, on...
A. 29 August 2012: No not at all. Sounds really nice. I'm not married but I'm very close with my partner's parents. We don't live near each other, but we send emails back and forth frequently and send each other amusing things we've seen online.
Why would there be... (read in full...)
I want out of the friend zone
Q. Hi all So a friend of mine asked me to a formal ball, suit-up etc. The thing is I like her and I flirt with her but she looks past it. I want to make a move on her but I'm clearly in the FriendZone, fml. In the past she was into me but I couldn...
A. 29 August 2012: Friendzone is not something she controls, because either she is interested or isn't. You don't have to be in the friendzone if you don't want to be, you need to tell her how you feel and see what happens. If she isn't interested, you need to decide ... (read in full...)
Does watching lesbian porn mean I'm bisexual?
Q. Hi I am a 24 year old virgin,I don't believe in sex before marriage,I believe in abstinence..I know some of you may think its crazy but these are my values,luckily the men I have dated understood this about me and never pressured me into sex.. I...
A. 28 August 2012: No it doesn't. Straight porn should be renamed porn for straight men because that's really what it is. I can't imagine someone who is nervous about it hurting would enjoy watching someone be treated roughly, which happens in 88.6% of "straight ... (read in full...)
Are there any real benefits to casual sex?
Q. My first sexual experience was a FWB. I was 13, she was much older and, to my recollection, it was a very awkward, uncomfortable situation. It bothered me a lot and perhaps has made me biased against them. When I go back through my memory, the ...
A. 28 August 2012: I think that in general they are a bad idea. Even among people who say they worked well, I have rarely heard of it working well for both people at the same time. Someone almost always winds up hurt. I lost my virginity to a FWB because I wanted to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is upset at the priority I give my career
Q. I'm a final year medical student,and my life just gets crazier each day..but I'm to be done with school coming december when I have my finals.. I don't go out,nor drink or smoke I meet my my friends very rarely and they always complain I don't gi...
A. 28 August 2012: I think out of every possible career, med students probably have it worst for school and he needs to understand that. You aren't making him a low priority, you just have zero time and he is being insensitive. I understand he is feeling upset that ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to women, but don't "like" women - anyone else like that?
Q. I am a straight, single, social, male, 24-years of age. I've been single for a long time now (last 'relationship', if you can call it that, was back in high school, which wasn't really anything) and it's got me thinking and others frequently asking, ...
A. 27 August 2012: I'm not a misogynist, I just really don't like women. Hmm...
OP I was wondering if you could help me. I think Jewish people are fine, but I find their stinginess to be intolerable. Also gay men have their place, but do they really have to be runni... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on chat rooms, dating sites and looks at porn
Q. im in a long term relationship, im sort of happy but my man keeps looking at porn and going on chat rooms and has put himselth on dateing sites. he will hide what he is doing on the laptop by clicking of iit when i stand up or go near it. I on...
A. 27 August 2012: Leave him. He does not respect you or your relationship, he's looking to either cheat on you or leave you for someone else. Get the jump on him and dump him first.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is a cheapskate with me but can spend the money on himself. I'm sick of it.
Q. My boyfriend is so, so cheap with me. Scenario: We don't usually ever go out to eat anymore. If we do, I'm the one who pays (he insists that I do) because he buys food for his apartment and shares it with me when I come over (even though he's rea...
A. 27 August 2012: What a freeloader! Dump him! He sees you as a money provider, not a girlfriend.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend cheap or am I being unreasonable?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now - and i think reality is really just hitting I used to gush about how perfect he is in every way – and I think the honeymoon is now over. One of my issues that I want to ask about, is regarding ...
A. 27 August 2012: He is being a freeloader, not quite the same as cheap. I find the easiest way to ensure everyone is being fair is for the two of you to set up a joint account and each of you puts the same percentage of your salary into it. That money can go to ... (read in full...)
He can't ejaculate inside me?
Q. Okay, I've been with this guy for over a year and have been sexually active from about 4 months in - we were both virgins. Anyway, when we have sex he never finishes inside me, and pulls out - even if we use condoms. He's scared of me getting pr...
A. 27 August 2012: It's always better to be more cautious rather than less.
A few things. 1) have you thought about getting an IUD, depo shot, or implant? They are VERY effective. You can use them alone or you can add in 2) are you willing to get an abortion... (read in full...)
Is he not into sex because he's aware of what is going on around him?
Q. Hey, silly question. The other day I was having sex with my fiancé and right in the middle of the action he noticed my head was banging against the wall - nothing major, really, I could just feel the wall touching my head... I wasn't hurt or ...
A. 27 August 2012: So you're complaining because your boyfriend was focused on how you were feeling during sex? A lot of women have trouble getting their boyfriend to pay attention and here you have a guy who is and now you're upset about it? I'm a bit confused as to ... (read in full...)
I asked girl to a casual bbq but she never responded back. Do I try again to contact her?
Q. I took this girl out on a casual lunch date 3 days ago. Everything went pretty well, she's really sweet and we got along nicely.. at least I thought so. Yesterday my friend had a barbeque at his house, and I invited her to come along. Nothing too ...
A. 26 August 2012: Sometimes dates just don't work out. She may have not been having as good a time as you. Yes it's rude to not respond, but I doubt it would have really felt that much better to be told she's not interested either. Not hearing back sucks because it's ... (read in full...)
My husband and his family do not believe I was a virgin because I didn't bleed after our first night together. Why did I not bleed?
Q. Hola I am from Mexico . Please forgive my English it is second language to me. I am originally from Mexico but live here in the united states. I am 21 years old and recently got married . I was a virgin when I married . I didn't bleed . My husband ...
A. 26 August 2012: More than half of women do not bleed their first time, there is NOTHING wrong with you. A lot of women break their hymens early, from riding a bike, doing gymnastics, falling, etc... Your family does not understand female anatomy at all.... (read in full...)
How long should a girl wait after giving a guy her phone number?
Q. How long should I wait for a guy to call or contact me after giving him my number. There was a guy at work who I thought was cute we had been flirting and my friend told me he was interested. I gave him my number but I'm not sure if I scared him ...
A. 26 August 2012: I'd say three days is about how long you should give him. You can try once to contact him, but if he doesn't respond it might be time to move on. I doubt the way you gave him your number scared him off.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is into hentai porn and other disgusting stuff!! Help!
Q. I used my boyfriend's computer the other day and he has a folder open, I closed the browser and it was there and I notice there was porn in there. I thought, ''oh well, it's normal'' but I kept looking out of curiosity and found some pretty gross ...
A. 26 August 2012: I disagree that fantasy is just fantasy. Your boyfriend is getting off on rape. He may not be a rapist, but that makes him someone who enjoys rape and that's horrifying. Do you want to be with someone who gets turned on by rape?
I also disagree... (read in full...)
How do I avoid becoming pregnant by my husband who won't allow me to use birth control?
Q. My husband of 6 years won't pull out during sex. We are catholic so he refuses for me to use any birth control. I do not want to get pregnant. Please give me advice...
A. 26 August 2012: "I have no patience for people who use the excuse of religion for such reasons!"
I agree. This is nuts. You should not have sex if he refuses to do that. He does not get to own your body like that and demand you be his receptacle. The catholic chur... (read in full...)
I love kids but I don't want to give birth because I'm just terrified of the pain of delivery!
Q. I am 23 years old..I have always loved kids,I see them around I make it a point to go to them,play with them..I would do anything to have one..and I used to always tell my friends that I would want to adopt a baby.. Now fast forward to my current ...
A. 26 August 2012: I would say that if you haven't even discussed getting pregnant and you're already thinking about it, it could be a phobia. You are making large life decisions based on this. Do you think about it frequently? Does it invade your thoughts when ... (read in full...)
Us plus sex equals not working. Hes down I'm frusterated please help!?
Q. Please help, i have just had unsatisfying sex again with my fiancee. Normally our sex life is good, but lately i havent been able to orgasm at all. I can really only achieve one by masturbating or in other words clitoral stimulation. My fiancee ...
A. 25 August 2012: This is a different problem. Your boyfriend sounds very selfish. Have you ever heard the term "mansplaining?" Because when a man tells a woman how her body is supposed to be functioning, I don't think you can get closer to the definition of that ... (read in full...)
When a man treats his woman well: When did it become okay to commit or marry but then show no interest in a sex life with your man?
Q. I am talking about women in serious relationships who act like their man has no right to expect a decent sex life from them. Before you jump on me with the claws out, please listen to what I am saying and what I am not. I am not saying anyth...
A. 25 August 2012: OP you're missing the point. Cerberus has explained it well and you're choosing to ignore it. Sex is not about who is sacrificing more and about how much she can give her partner. Sex is about doing something together that is fun and mutually rew... (read in full...)
Us plus sex equals not working. Hes down I'm frusterated please help!?
Q. Please help, i have just had unsatisfying sex again with my fiancee. Normally our sex life is good, but lately i havent been able to orgasm at all. I can really only achieve one by masturbating or in other words clitoral stimulation. My fiancee ...
A. 25 August 2012: It sounds like this is a bit of vicious cycle. You are feeling upset, which makes it harder to orgasm, and you are upset because it is hard to orgasm. First I have a question, are you on the pill? If yes, how long? Several of the pills I tried ... (read in full...)
Should I confront the man my wife had a one night stand with?
Q. My wife had a one night stand behind my back. She was in school with this guy and he knew she was married. I know where this guy lives, my question is do i go round there and hit the shit out of him?...
A. 25 August 2012: Why are you angry with him? He doesn't know you he has no vows to you. Your wife is the one who broke your marriage vows.
Also don't hit anyone. He can press charges and you can go to jail and it won't accomplish anything.... (read in full...)
Ladies: What does it feel like to not be over a relationship?
Q. What does it feel like to "not be over" a previous relationship for girls? I met someone 4 months ago. We've only met 5, may be 6 times during the first 2 months. Since then just texts and a seldom phone call. At first I thought she had ...
A. 24 August 2012: It feels the same as it does for guys. We don't feel emotions differently. Also in your age bracket, women, not girls.
Sounds like it's exactly what she said. She likes you, but isn't over her ex and doesn't think it's fair to you to be with you... (read in full...)
When a man treats his woman well: When did it become okay to commit or marry but then show no interest in a sex life with your man?
Q. I am talking about women in serious relationships who act like their man has no right to expect a decent sex life from them. Before you jump on me with the claws out, please listen to what I am saying and what I am not. I am not saying anyth...
A. 24 August 2012: I used to think I hated sex. Then I got a partner who actually genuinely cared about my pleasure in it, rather than caring in the sense that it was necessary for him to get more sex. "Magically" my sex drive went from nil to at least once a day. If ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about the size of my penis
Q. hi, so im worried about my penis size... im 19 still a virgin, i have recieved oral sex before and im just worried about the size of my penis, its roughly (ive never had it measured by a doctor) 3 inches depending on how warm/cold i am, i might get ...
A. 24 August 2012: You sound totally normal, though if you're experiencing any pain you should see a doctor.... (read in full...)
Is a water infection a STI?
Q. My wife cheated on me a month ago, we are working on things and hopefully will be able to move on from this. However she now has a water infection, is this an STI? How do you get a water infection?...
A. 24 August 2012: No, definitely not. Most women get them at least occasionally. It's unrelated. Sometimes sex can cause them, but it would have shown up within a week. She should go to a doctor for some antibiotics, drink LOTS of fluid, and take cranberry pills (the ... (read in full...)
Trouble being on top.
Q. My boyfriend asked me to ride him, i had never done it before but i was keen to give it a go, but i couldn't actually move once i was straddling him. I don't know if it was because he was thrusting too, but i couldn't do anything. I felt really bad ...
A. 24 August 2012: Being on top isn't like the way it looks in porn where you straddle him and sit perpendicular. You can do it, where you have your legs folded under you and can rock back and forth, but that's pretty exhausting.
The easiest way to do it imo is t... (read in full...)
Will having a threesome with my wife ruin our relationship? She's the one who brought it up.
Q. My wife asked me to have a 3sum with another female. I'm up for the idea but I thought about it more and I don't know how it will change our relationship, am I not pleasing her enugh, she orgasms at least three time every time we have sex. What she ...
A. 23 August 2012: So don't do it! You feel insecure just thinking about it, imagine what it will feel like actually doing it? Just say no. You're not obligated to do this just because your wife wants to. Just tell her you're uncomfortable with this and would love to ... (read in full...)
When a man treats his woman well: When did it become okay to commit or marry but then show no interest in a sex life with your man?
Q. I am talking about women in serious relationships who act like their man has no right to expect a decent sex life from them. Before you jump on me with the claws out, please listen to what I am saying and what I am not. I am not saying anyth...
A. 23 August 2012: Women don't just go off sex very often. It's almost always the result of something else that is fixable. Women like orgasms and things like that just as much as men do.
For every woman who doesn't feel like having sex anymore in her marriage... (read in full...)
Bf saying picture of porn with girls that look nothing like me
Q. Hello guys:) Recently, I've been having a few problems with my boyfriend, not major ones at all, just little ones. Now, I found out he watched porn because I went to type in youtube on his computer and it came up with a porn site in his history...
A. 23 August 2012: I have many links that talk about this on my profile (just click my name to get there). I highly recommend you read through them. Lots of women struggle with this issue.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes to look at my sister's fake boobs, but when I said I wanted fake boobs he flipped out!
Q. Okay so short story.... My sister had tons of ummm "sexy" pictures on her computer.... Nude, and she has fake boobs..... Well my boyfriend of over a year decides to be a dick and goes on her computer and emails himself some of the nude photos!!! I ...
A. 23 August 2012: Yeah your boyfriend is a "dick." No question about it. In fact what he did was completely illegal. I think that's a completely unforgivable offense. He snooped on your sister, stole her private property, and wanks off to her. That's revolting. He's ... (read in full...)
Will having a threesome with my wife ruin our relationship? She's the one who brought it up.
Q. My wife asked me to have a 3sum with another female. I'm up for the idea but I thought about it more and I don't know how it will change our relationship, am I not pleasing her enugh, she orgasms at least three time every time we have sex. What she ...
A. 23 August 2012: I have rarely heard of a monogamous couple surviving a threesome. You are feeling insecure about this and it hasn't even happened, imagine how you will feel once those images are burned into your mind forever of your wife being pleasured by someone ... (read in full...)
My husband has been sneaky lately and I found a flavored condom in his pocket that he blamed on our son!
Q. Lately, my husband of 9 yrs. has been a little sneaky. he talks to all kinds of women, first of all he's a photographer OK. Now it's one particular friend that he tells her he loves her. Just recently, while I was doing laundry,a flavored condom ...
A. 23 August 2012: Sorry but to me it sounds likely he's cheating on you. Why would your son put a condom in his pocket? If he's innocent why would he get defensive when you gave him such an easy out? I agree with SVC, ask your son about the condom and a VERY ... (read in full...)
What to do down there?
Q. pubic hair , what do i do with it ? i have a long term boyfriend he says he doesnt mind about my pubes but i still shave for him and me as well a litte i guess, but the thing is its starting to hurt me with spots and i heardyou can pass them on ...
A. 22 August 2012: The spots aren't contagious, they are ingrown hairs, just small non-contagious skin infections. You can't pass them on.
It's clearly bothersome to you, just stop removing all your hair and keep it trimmed. We have it for a reason. It reduces ... (read in full...)
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