A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this may make me shallow, childish, immature, but it's how I feel:Three years ago I was engaged to a man from Europe. He was uncircumcised; it was not my first experience with an intact man. I loved it so much, and he was so gentle with me in bed. I always wondered why he was such a dynamo in bed, and then it hit me-- he was uncircumcised!I did my reading, and now know all the insane pitfalls of being circumcised. I know the multiple reasons why sex with circumcised men for me has consistently been unsatisfactory, even painful. I would sit there, with him (most of the men I've been with) pounding away at my cervix, waiting for him to finish. It has been so unappealing and dissatisfying for me that I've stopped trying to date, due to the prevalence of circumcised men. No matter how much I tell him to slow down or ease up, that's usually the only way he can get there.My question is-- how realistic is it of me to want to be with an uncircumcised man when I'm in a serious relationship? I know you love who you love, but pleasure is a big part of that. I can't bear the thought of having a lifetime of less than enjoyable sex. (It doesn't help also that I'm Jewish) Can anyone blame me for being disappointed when I am with a man who is? I don't mean to tell you guys who are that there's something wrong with you, and I'm sure some of you out there have great sex lives, but the rule with me as been that it's not fun. - SOL in America.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2012): I know this is an old question, but I have the opposite problem to you! I live in Europe where it is hard to find a circumcised man and I prefer them that way if Im honest.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 October 2012):
 You're not crazy, but this is a very general statement based on little scientific study.
So you had a few bad sexual encounters, and some good ones. Well, "intact" men can be bad in the sack too you know. I've only had one circumsized man. I didn't like it either, to let you know. To me it looked weird, and it limited what we could do! Giving him a handjob was difficult if not impossible, and seeing the head of the penis out all the time even when flaccid... It just was a turn off for me.
I don't know we're all different. But I prefer to have an uncut man as well. I also read that the circumsized men dont' reach the same highs sexually, because of all the nerve endings that are in the foreskin that provide pleasure. So you're probably right in your conclusion that circumsized men keep on "banging" because that's the only way they can get there.
But like I said, uncut men can be bad in bed and keep on banging as well. So.. you need to look at the bigger picturer and not judge the man by the penis. Test him out in bed first instead I suggest. And then judge. If he's good in bed, it's a keeper, regardless of the cut. If he's not great in bed he's not a keeper, even if he's uncut.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 October 2012):
 I'd love to be a "fly on the wall" when you quiz guys about this......
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 It is OK to want this, but it is another thing to go about achieving it. So, what if you meet a guy you really love, who might turn out to be amazing in bed, who happens to be circumcised? Life just isn't simple. And it will be pretty difficult to check before you are in too deep, as it were. Unless you just want to ask him straight out. Which could put him off. He will think he is being selected according to that, and if he is circumcised, it would be a pretty mean thing to deselect him on.
It is tricky. I guess you just have to avoid certain religions where it is common practice, and develop some delicate questions or other oblique comments to try to get to the truth. It is all a bit difficult, though ...
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (4 October 2012):
 I actually have always thought that your line of thinking has great merit.
Personally, I have often been praised for my passionate style 'between the sheets' which tells me, uncircumcised guys need more to get them off than uncircumcised. (I am UN - in case you didn't guess!)
This I think, is due to the fact that they're less sensitive, due to the lack of a foreskin all their lives, so need to go hammer-and-tongs to achieve a result.
Just a thought - but makes sense.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (4 October 2012):
 My current partner is circumcised and he is a very gentle and caring lover. Not a cervix boxer. My last sex partner was uncircumcised and he was a cervix boxer and absolutely awful in bed. There are guys who pound at you and guys who don't, it has nothing to do with that aspect. The polls finding that uncircumcised men are more sensitive are speculation at best.
It's hard enough finding a guy who is good in bed, why limit yourself? There are just as many circumcised guys who are great in bed as uncircumcised guys who are bad.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 October 2012):
 Being circumcised or not has nothing to do with how good a lover the guy is. (unfortunately)
Leaving baby boys intact is the "norm" in Europe. As there are no real benefits from circumcising.
You could "only" date "intact" guys but I think you will find that the "snip-snip" makes no difference. You were just really lucky with your first BF and NOT so lucky with your last one.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012): "How realistic is it for me to want to date only uncircumcised men?"
As a guy, understand your preference completely; your preference would have been my preference had I been given the choice (which I wasn't for reasons more cutural and social than medical, which from my parents POV I completely understand given the times in which I was born).
Key word: "realistic;" trend toward circumcision of newborn males is declining, but still overwhelming majority of caucasian American-born adult males were circumcised as newborns. Among gay men of a certain age, supply of much younger adult gay intact males is far short of demand, assume same holds true for hetero adult women two generations younger looking for straight intact guys their own age.
Happy Hunting for Bunting!
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Having preferences doesn't make you shallow. You, just like anyone else in the world, have the right to have their own wants and desires. Since it's that important to you, make sure you have the conversation about the status of his penis well before you two get intimate. :-)
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A
female
reader, Foxglove +, writes (4 October 2012):
It's really not the kind of car you have, it's all about how you drive it.
For example, I was in a relationship with an uncircumcised man, and he was absolutely dreadful in bed. DREADFUL!
Fast foward to my current partner, who is circumcised, and the sex is explosively good.
So it really doesn't matter, go for your preference. But make sure you don't rule a really good guy out because of it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 I wish I could confirm your theory....but I can't.
If it was so authomatic,... then most European men should be dynamos in bed , and ALL Italian guys too - nobody is circumcised here. Fact is, there are good lovers and bad lovers everywhere, stolid cervix-pounders and gentle ,attentive ,sensuous partners- both circumcised and UC. In my own experience, for instance, the lifetime award for absolutely best performance in bed should go to a circumcised guy.
I think it depends from the guy , not from his penis of whatever size shape and description.. One could have a Ferrari, and still be a lousy driver.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Sorry, but I must ask, how are you going to determine if a man is circumcised or not before you agree to date him? Will your prospective dates be expected to pull the old fella out before you are up for a cup of coffee?
Circumcised or not circumcised, I think it doesn't matter as long as the emotional attachment is there.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Hmm...if you're open to date non-Jewish men, I think it's not unreasonable. If you're dating Jewish men only, you know that finding one who is uncircumcised is rare, since the choice to circumcise is made for a guy by his parents as a baby.
In my opinion, wanting someone who is UC is fine, like only wanting to date a guy who is taller or only has blue eyes or doesn't have a hairy chest or whatever, but it's kinda awkward to ask, and truthfully, there are circ. guys who are great in bed.
Good luck!
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