| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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What to do down there?
Q. pubic hair , what do i do with it ? i have a long term boyfriend he says he doesnt mind about my pubes but i still shave for him and me as well a litte i guess, but the thing is its starting to hurt me with spots and i heardyou can pass them on ...
A. 22 August 2012: The spots aren't contagious, they are ingrown hairs, just small non-contagious skin infections. You can't pass them on.
It's clearly bothersome to you, just stop removing all your hair and keep it trimmed. We have it for a reason. It reduces ... (read in full...)
Men: When you have sex, how often are you thinking of someone that you're not with?
Q. These questions are mostly for men but women can feel free to answer as well: 1. When you have sex with your gf or wife, how often do you picture another woman in your head while doing it? 2. Who are they? (friends, women you saw on the s...
A. 22 August 2012: My boyfriend has Aspergers and answers me pretty bluntly on these things if I ask. He could be lying, but I will tell you what he said.
#1: Once or twice, to try it out. He decided he didn't like it because it pulls him out of the moment. He also ... (read in full...)
If I can't orgasm while masturbating and thinking about my boyfriend, does it mean I'm not attracted to him?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend, Henry, for three years, loved him for seven. He's currently away in Washington visiting his relatives for the summer. He won't be back until September 9th. I love Henry and I've always been attracted to him. My frien...
A. 22 August 2012: Of course not. Sometimes things just don't work that well. Also a vibrator can temporarily numb you, which will make it difficult-impossible to orgasm. Don't worry about it, it means nothing at all.... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with him before I leave? I'm a virgin.
Q. So recently I met this guy in Georgia and ever since then him and I have been flirting and making out,and you can say that we are dating. The problem is I'm leaving in a few days and he tells me wants to have sex before I leave. I'm a virgin and I ...
A. 21 August 2012: Why would you want to throw away your virginity like that? First off it's completely illegal for you to be having sex. Second off, I assume you mean you are leaving and either not coming back or only coming back for visits. What is the benefit to ... (read in full...)
Have any other women used Cerazette before?
Q. I've just been put on the pill, cerazette. Thing is, I went round my friends last night and all of them said how they would avoid that pill because of the side effects and you experience really bad depression and gain so much weight and all these ...
A. 21 August 2012: Stay on it for awhile, I highly doubt it will make you have uncontrollable mood swings and depression. Give it a few months. Every pill has similar numbers of people experiencing the same bad side effects. When you look it up online ALL of them have ... (read in full...)
How do you deal with pubic hair growing back?
Q. For people who have sex regularly, how do you deal with the growing back of shaved pubic hair? It loses the smoothness after only 1-2 days, so doesn't it get uncomfortable for your partner with the stubble? Shaving the stubble creates hell for me. ...
A. 21 August 2012: You could just stop removing all your pubic hair and keep it neatly trimmed instead. That's what I do, it's much softer that way. The stubble gave him rashes.
h... (read in full...)
After ten years of marriage, I find out my husband has had an affair.
Q. I am writing because I need advice. After 10 years of marriage and two kids of ages 8 and 2, I found recently that my husband was having an affair. I kicked him out of the house but now I want him back. My husband now blames me for our split and ...
A. 21 August 2012: Your husband is slime. I understand that it's really hard that after more than 10 years together to cope with that kind of change, but he was not only having an affair but also somehow blames you for him behaving like a selfish jerk! Get yourself ... (read in full...)
I texted I love him and now he is ignoring me.
Q. I have been with my bf for 2 years now and the other morning I texted I love you my friend and he is ignoring me now. Im so hurt why the hell would he do that. Its not like I asked hime ti marry me or anything. ...
A. 21 August 2012: If after two years you still can't say I love you there really is no relationship or future there and never was. You should move on and find someone who can love you.... (read in full...)
Is it likely that he's really cheating? Or just boasting? If true, then I feel as though I'm not attractive enough for him
Q. My partner recently put password locks on his mobile phones, I was suspicious and managed to get into his phone and found he's frequently sending txts to his mate about all the hot women he's seeing while making deliveries. Plus how he's going to ...
A. 20 August 2012: I'm not sure how to interpret getting blowjobs from other women in a way that isn't cheating. Plus locks on everything, he's sneaking and lying. Even if he isn't cheating it sounds like he would if given the chance.... (read in full...)
I've had two boyfriends but never had an orgasm
Q. Hi, i'm 21 an been having sex since I was 18. I have slept with 2 people, my ex and my current boyfriend. The problem is I have never had an orgasm. I dont know how to or what it feels like or anything, but i still really enjoy sex with my boyfrien...
A. 20 August 2012: You do need to masturbate if you want to orgasm. It's sex homework. I can almost guarantee you that you will not have an orgasm with your boyfriend if you can't have one on your own. You should try really hard to get comfortable. Maybe a warm bath, ... (read in full...)
He didn't orgasm on the fourth time we had sex, how come?
Q. Okay everybody, so Friday night at my boyfriends we had sex like 4 times during the night but on the 4th time he didn't cum, he said he was really enjoying it but it just wasn't happening, he had cum the other 3 times, so how come he never the 4th?...
A. 19 August 2012: You emptied him out! Most people have a limit, apparently his is 3. Doesn't mean anything.... (read in full...)
Does no really mean no?
Q. I've been getting a lot of nos lately. "No, I can't go out on a date with you." "No, I have a boyfriend." "No, you can not have my number." Those are just examples of what I've been going through lately. I don't get it. I can understand that ...
A. 19 August 2012: One time a guy asked me out and I said no, and then he asked me out again 2 years later and I said yes, but that's the only time. I think it's safest to assume no means no.... (read in full...)
Together 7 months, are we rushing it?
Q. I haven't long come out of a 2 year relationship, we split up because I had a miscarriage and it was the worst thing I've ever been through and my ex partner was not supportive at all, despite that I tried and tried to make the relationship work, ...
A. 18 August 2012: You are still not thinking about what's best for your child at all. You are only thinking about yourself. It's best for the child to grow up in a stable environment, but after college you will be moving around a lot and still getting settled into ... (read in full...)
Together 7 months, are we rushing it?
Q. I haven't long come out of a 2 year relationship, we split up because I had a miscarriage and it was the worst thing I've ever been through and my ex partner was not supportive at all, despite that I tried and tried to make the relationship work, ...
A. 18 August 2012: I think it's not a good idea to be rushing this so soon. You said yourself there's no need to sign a piece of paper, there's also no need to be getting pregnant so soon. Don't you think each other are enough for now?
Just because you are perfect ... (read in full...)
Should I keep on proposing activities or should I just let it go?
Q. I met this guy in a bar, we had a good chat that night, he gave me his number, I texted him, we went on a date, it went well. Then, we had text/facebook conversation almost everyday. He seemed really interested in seeing me again, and so am I. I ...
A. 18 August 2012: Nothing to lose by proposing one more activity. If he's not interested things will continue as they are, if he is, you could get together again. Go for it.... (read in full...)
Trust? Betrayal? My Girlfriend cheated and got pregnant so now what?
Q. my GF cheated and got pregnant and the father of the baby died. now shes begging me not to break up with her.and wants me to help her with the baby... i feel like im just being used should i kick her to the curb help her out or what... and im...
A. 17 August 2012: "its too late for an abortion"
It's legal in all states to perform abortions up to 24 weeks no questions asked. After 24 weeks it is still possible, but requires a doctor's approval.
Otherwise I don't think any of us can really make this decisio... (read in full...)
Why would he secretly hide his condoms from me?
Q. My boyfriend and I haven't used condoms for several months. When I initially switched birth control methods we used a condom and he told me where he keeps them (hidden from his 10-year old son). Yesterday I noticed he rearranged his room and was ...
A. 16 August 2012: Sounds pretty suspicious to me... There isn't really any reason to buy new condoms except for having sex and if you aren't using condoms... I highly doubt he's testing you. Testing what, if you'll still stay with him after he erodes your trust?
... (read in full...)
Should I stop birth control?
Q. I only started because of my boyfriend. We literally just broke up, so I feel like I don't have to anymore. Plus it had awful side effects such as hair loss (yikes!), pain in stomach, moodiness, and headaches. Should I just cut my losses and stop? ...
A. 16 August 2012: If you're really broken up, then why stay on it?
If you want to stop, just stop taking the pill. You don't have to finish the pack, but your period will be "off" for a few months. If you stop mid-pack it's more likely to throw off when your per... (read in full...)
I am about ready to just tell him that I don't want to talk to him until we can be together again in the same city because I can't spend my time just waiting around for him. Is this a good or bad idea?
Q. My boyfriend and I are having to spend our summer vacation apart, long distance and when school starts, we'll be able to spend our time together again. He tends to have his whole day filled up with lots of things to do, really enjoying his vacation. ...
A. 16 August 2012: It could be a good idea, but what you are saying is that you want to be on a break. Do you want to be on a break/break up? If so say it. If you don't, then then don't. You should find yourself a volunteer position or something to pass the time. But ... (read in full...)
Curious about causes for divorce. Share your stories?
Q. I have a bit of a fear of divorce. You always hear how happy a couple is yet they end up divorced years later. I think about this a lot and hear all sorts of reasons for divorce from experts, money differences etc, but I'm really curious about real ...
A. 16 August 2012: I've never been divorced, but many close to me have been.
I've noticed several themes. One is that people who have parents who aren't divorced are less likely to get divorced (but obviously you shouldn't break up with someone because of their pa... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm with my boyfriend!
Q. hi guys. Me and my boyfriend have a great relationship...the problem is he can't make me orgasm. To begin with I thought it would probably sort itself out as we got more used to what each other liked etc, but we've been having sex for about 2 months ...
A. 15 August 2012: Faking it is a terrible idea. First off you're deceiving him. Second off, you are cheating yourself out of a satisfying sex life. If you fake it and he thinks he's done it, he's going to keep doing what he's doing and you're going to keep being ... (read in full...)
Are women put off by skinny men?
Q. I know everyone has different tastes and personal preferences, but in general, are women put off by skinny men? I'm 23, and while I eat like a horse, I just have never been able to put on any tangible weight, and have virtually little muscle a...
A. 15 August 2012: My current boyfriend is very skinny. I admit I wish he would even just put on some weight, but it wasn't something I noticed before we started dating and isn't a factor in much of anything. The only reason I care is that I think it's causing him to ... (read in full...)
Why is there pain when I have sex?
Q. Hi everyone. This is a bit embaressing but i need some help. Me and my boyfriend started having sex about a month ago (we were each others first time) but every time we do it its really painful for me. I don't understand why this is and its really ...
A. 15 August 2012: The absolute number one cause of pain during sex, especially among more inexperienced couples is that you're not turned on enough. You need to be extremely turned on before you even attempt sex. As in, close to orgasm turned on. Your muscles relax ... (read in full...)
Should I be upset about planning an abortion?
Q. I just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant. I'm going to have an abortion. I don't feel guilty about it at all, in fact im actually happy about it. Shouldnt I be crying?...
A. 15 August 2012: Of course not. It's great that you're sure in your decision. You are making a medical decision that's best for your life. Don't let anyone try to force their morals on you/make you feel bad.... (read in full...)
I love my Gf not my ex. What can I say to my Gf when she objects to me talking to my ex?
Q. Ok, a little back story of my ex and I. We practically grew up together starting from middle. We were best friends and soon gravitated to being something more. We've been through a lot together and could never really let eachother completely go. She ...
A. 14 August 2012: To you she is family, but to her you are still a love interest. It's precisely BECAUSE you have so much history that you need to cut her out. Even if you don't have sexual feelings, you have emotional ones and those can be just as damaging.
The w... (read in full...)
Does her sexual past matter? Would I prefer this new friend over my GF just because of my Gf's sexual past?
Q. I have never been the jealous type and I am not sure I would define what I feel as jealousy. My new girlfriend sexual past is really affecting me. I have had quite a few girlfriends in my life and never felt anything like this before. Not even c...
A. 14 August 2012: Look at Yos' answer for this:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/cant-deal-with-her-past---should.html
He essentially says that you have to realize this is your issue, not hers. You have to make the decision to get past this. You can, of course, c... (read in full...)
Is hubby into a threesome for us or for him?
Q. Ok so I have been with my husband 6 yrs and loving it. Well our love got a lil boring and we spiced it a lil which worked btw. We had a lil fun with another couple and I think were both ready to just do it with a. Single girl (threesome). I like her ...
A. 14 August 2012: Well what do you gain from this? What does he gain from this? If the only thing you gain from it is knowing that he enjoyed it, then it is all for him. I've never heard of a threesome working out in a monogamous couple. I'm also not sure why he ... (read in full...)
There's this guy. And he's cheating on his girlfriend.. with me!
Q. There's this guy. And he's cheating on his girlfriend.. with me. I'm the other girl. I honestly love him and think he's the one. However, he told me he's thinking of breaking up with his girlfriend to be with me, but he hasn't yet. and...
A. 14 August 2012: Pretty much everyone involved in an affair says the same things. That they promise they will leave soon, but it's complicated right now so they can't (she has mental problems, she will kill herself, some complicated family issue, it's her birthday ... (read in full...)
Sex every other day for 2 months, but I'm not pregnant yet!
Q. Hi! I'm almost 32, my hubby is almost 34. We've been trying to have a baby for 2 months now, having sex every other day. We're both healthy and in good shape, don't smoke and don't drink alcohol. Unfortunately, after two months, I'm not pregnant and ...
A. 14 August 2012: 2 months means there were only two total chances for you to get pregnant. It's not as though each time you have sex is a new chance at it, you only release one egg every month. Like others said, it normally takes a whole year to get pregnant. Two ... (read in full...)
Preferably guys' opinions- Friendship between guys and girls, What do you think?
Q. I know a lot of experts on dearcupid.org think men normally don't befriend girls unless they want something more from the girls - either sex or romance. So what do you guys think about this?Do you agree that a lot of the time, guys and girls b...
A. 13 August 2012: The ones who say it isn't possible are usually the one who have never bothered to try. It seems like it's often men who believe that the only reason to be friends with women is for sex, rather than people who just enjoy each others' company. I ha... (read in full...)
Can seeing someone too often break the relationship? Is this too often?
Q. I have a question, Its always been something I've wondered myself in the past and also when looking and the whole concept of a relationship in general. However recently I feel im loosing my best friend whos a male because he now has a girlfriend as ...
A. 13 August 2012: It sounds like perhaps you want us to say that seeing each other too often is the kiss of death? When the pairing isn't right then seeing each other often will expedite the break up. But when the pairing is right and both people want to see each ... (read in full...)
Why do people who claim to be happy still fantasize about others?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have sex 4 times a week, and I found out he had been using porn and pretended he was having with the women in the video sometimes, he claims he thought this was ok and that I would of been fine with it. I watched some porn mys...
A. 13 August 2012: I have many links about this on my profile, you should read through them.
But I don't think it's reasonable for you to watch porn yourself and then say it's not OK for him to watch.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a Gf to say sexy things in her sleep? Every night!
Q. My girlfriend makes sex noises in her sleep, it used to be every now and then, now its a nightly thing that wakes me up. Her history is quite promiscuious which probably adds to the paranoia, but we do keep a regular sex life. I know people can'...
A. 13 August 2012: Normal. Some people are silent, some have entire conversations. Some people's moans just sound more sexual than others, but it's probably not even a sexual thing.... (read in full...)
I am embarrassed about oral sex. Are there things I should be aware of?
Q. Hi I have a question about oral sex. I’m in a new relationship and my partner wants to give me oral sex. The problem is I feel embarrassed of him going down on me. I do want him to pleasure me but I’m worried what if he doesn’t like my scent or...
A. 13 August 2012: Relax! Do you think men sit around worrying if women will like giving them oral sex so much that they can't enjoy it? All women have a scent down there that changes throughout their cycle. We all smell like something and taste like something. Many ... (read in full...)
What can we both do to help encourage my libido to return? I feel like a horrible Gf to my Bf
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 4 years now and I have completely lost interest in sex. We've tried different things to get my interest back but it hasn't worked and I feel like a horrible girlfriend. I still love my boyfriend it's not ...
A. 13 August 2012: I second all the other suggestions. Have you started or stopped a new form of birth control? Are you stressed? Any new medications (like an antidepressant is one of the top libido killers)?
I also wonder if you always have easy orgasms? Because ... (read in full...)
Never needed it before. What would be the reasons why, after all this time, I have now started to need lube to have sex?
Q. Dear cupid, I'm a 33 year old woman with a healthy sexual appetite and a boyfriend that I've been dating for a year. With my previous sexual partners I never had to use lube, I was always wet enough to have sex although I've never been so wet that...
A. 13 August 2012: As you get older it can happen, so can antihistamines, antidepressants, and other medications, so can being dehydrated, and yes the pill can definitely do it. It doesn't mean anything about your feelings for him. If you're having orgasms it's all ... (read in full...)
I have been nothing but nice to her. What are the chances that she will start to like me sometime soon?
Q. There is this girl that I like who doesn't like me the same way back. (Classic, I know right?) I've been nothing but nice to her, and I try to smile and say hi when I see her. How much of a chance do I have of her feelings changing over the cour...
A. 13 August 2012: 18.5%.
But in all seriousness, either she likes you or not. It's not the kind of thing you can just put kindness into and expect sex to come out. If she doesn't like you, you've just got to move on.... (read in full...)
Were they more interested in porn than in me? would this behaviour bother you?
Q. My two last boyfriends didn't seem to have a sexual interest in me when I wasn't there but yet both looked at porn, they rarely said anything suggestive or dirty by text. Has anyone else had something similar happen to them? Would this behaviour ...
A. 12 August 2012: Porn is an addictive substance and about 15% of users develop a compulsion/addiction that interferes with their lives. When a man is choosing porn over a woman, that certainly falls into that category. This website will help answer your question ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 12 August 2012: Would you buy a house without knowing anything at all about it? You know what it looks like from the front and where it is, but you don't know anything else. Not the inside, not how many rooms, not even the price. Would you buy it? Of course not.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was going down on me when I got my periods!! Do you think he was really put off by that?
Q. Last night my new boyfreind and I were having sex and half way through I went to the bathroom,to find myself covered in blood.I hadnt realised I was due for my period..It was even on my face.We had the lights off and unfortunatly he had been going ...
A. 12 August 2012: Really you just have to brush it off and move on. Weird and sometimes gross things happen during sex. One time something very similar happened to me and my current boyfriend and the only thing that happened was that we both took showers and were ... (read in full...)
How do I call without coming off as clingy and paranoid or stalkerish?
Q. My friend hasn't been online at all, anywhere, for about a week, which isn't like him. I texted him yesterday and he hasn't replied. He lives in another state so I can't exactly just pop over to his place to see if he's all right. I'm trying not to ...
A. 12 August 2012: Just call him, why would that be stalkerish? You don't need to say you haven't seen him online, just say you wanted to see how everything's been going. I'm sure he'll appreciate knowing you're thinking of him.... (read in full...)
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