A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When we go out to eat at a local restaurant (it's a small rural town) I noticed that my boyfriend will stare over quite a lot at the local waitresses teenage daughter who is 17 when the daughter decides to come into the restaurant to see her mother working there. One time it was bad and the girl looked over at him and asked "What?". Then again, when she left and she was walking home and we had left at the same time, I noticed that when we drove home he turned his car and drove down the street she was crossing sort of cutting her off.Another time, same restaurant, there were new people from out of town, a daughter and her father eating at a table. I noticed my boyfriend went to the back of the restaurant where they were sitting, glanced down at the daughter as he passed them as they were eating. Then when the father got up leave to pay, my boyfriend engaged in friendly talk with the father and then I heard the father say that his daughter was 12 years old. Believe me, the girl looked a lot older, like around 20. She was tall and thin. When my boyfriend returned to our table he appeared flushed from seeing this girl.At a grocery store, there was a teenage girl with her father and she had on a short mini skirt, she appeared to be 16. I saw that my boyfriend noticed her. "Of course," they ended up ahead of us in line to pay for their groceries and my boyfriend was staring at the girl and when the father turned around as my boyfriend was putting groceries on the conveyor belt he said hi to the father.When I took my boyfriend to meet my family for the first time, into the family fold so to speak, my second cousin was there sitting on a couch and she was around 19. I looked at my boyfriend out of the corner of my eye and I noticed he kept looking over at her discreetly, kinda grinning to himself.Quite some time later I was staying over at his place and I found his porn stash of Barely Legal magazines and the magazines had many sticky notes in them to flag some of the pictures of the women.He stares at all women, but I am pretty sure he is getting off on the young ones maybe due to his advancing age.Have you ever encountered these types of situations with your current partner?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2012): Your bf is creepy. I would consider this a deal breaker because I would not want to live constantly feeling creeped out.I had a boss who was in his 50s and always ogling the young female college interns and "conveniently " being where they happened to be...etc....he was so predictable we would take bets how soon he would notice the latest intern and what his strategy would be. everyone both men and women thought it creepy. He shows zero interest in any females older than 25. At conferences in our industry he has been seen having dinner with young college female interns from other organizations (he knows better than to do it with the ones in our organization) . He has a grown daughter or so I hear. Even more creepy. Make no mistake - his male peers don't admire him for chatting up young attractive females. They think he is preying on the young because more experienced yet attractive females wouldn't give him a second look. He is not good looking. He isn't ugly but not by any means anywhere close to the level of attractiveness (as a male counterpart) of the girls he shows blatant interest in.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (10 October 2012):
 Almost all guys look at women, of many ages. I have certainly caught myself looking at a teenage girl before realizing she's probably way too young. Some girls develop early and dress provocatively. If I'm a pervert because of that then so are most men.
However it is disrespectful to be too obvious about it. There's a big difference between glancing at an attractive woman as she walks past and staring at her ass like a hungry dog.
I suggest telling your boyfriend that when he stares at young girls he does it in an obvious way and it makes both you and them uncomfortable. That reminder should hopefully be enough, with perhaps a comment or two if you catch him in the act. Nothing too aggressive, but the next time he does it just say something like "nice legs eh?". Embarrassment can be an effective deterrent.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2012): I have had this before with my ex. It's actually the main reason he's my ex. He was 18 when I was dating him, and he would check out literally every woman he saw that was even slightly attractive. He would even stare at the women on the magazine covers in stores while we would wait in line to pay for our groceries. He also watched a lot of porn with girls that looked very young. I thought it was weird, but I kept it to myself...until I found out he was talking to a girl online who was barely 14, and looked younger. Needless to say, I didn't even give him a chance to explain himself, I just told him off and never talked to him again. If I were you, I would end it before he actually goes out and cheats on you, if he hasn't already.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (10 October 2012):
There is beauty in youth that is both short lasting and elusive. That's why all the mags hire teenage models and why facial creams and serums are called "youth code." People often associate their personal best with their youth. Men your bf's age like to look back at the time when they still "got it" and with young girls being called the most desirable, it's not strange some people get caught up in it. That said, he should possess something called personal restraint and a rational mind. It's creepy that he ogles and publicly lusts after gals that could be his daughters. It's disturbing that he has porn with girls in it that look like they belong in junior high. Preferences like these border on pedophilia. I know guys like that and I have no respect for them. You really have to ask yourself if you want to be with a man like this. The fact he doesn't even try to hide it means he thinks it's acceptable. For me it would be a deal breaker. It means he's either stuck in the past, lacks mental maturity or is really a disturbed individual.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 October 2012):
 Ick! This is not normal. He marks up his porn with sticky notes? That's beyond creepy. Everything about what you are saying gives me the creeps and I would definitely be worried/reconsidering the relationship if I were you...
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (9 October 2012):
Is he coming across as a pervy old creepy dude... or IS he a pervy old creepy dude? OP, from your description I'm thinking this is the latter. He stares at all women? And he basically drools at underage girls? That's gross, and disturbing.How long have you been with him? My initial thought is to ditch this "dog". I wouldn't be friends with a guy like this. In fact, I have distanced myself from former friends for this very reason. I'm 36, and if one of my buddies is ogling barely legal girls at the bar, or the servers that are under 21, then that is not someone I am going to associate with in any way. But that's my choice, I'm sure your boyfriend has his good points.Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 October 2012):
 Barely Legal porn is porn with women over 18, who LOOKS 12+
As in very petite and very young.
I would honestly bring up his behavior, tell him that he comes across as a pervy old creepy dude.
He might ALWAYS have had a preference for younger girls and that ... would worry me.
And WHO THE HECK in his 40+ puts STICKY notes in his PORN MAGS? Can I say... ewwww? I'm grossed out. And I'm wondering WHY you aren't.
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