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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hi all,this is going to be a weird/awkward/gross question... but, I don't know where else to ask. I vaguely remember this... when I was probably 11 or so, I found a sort of sex toy or maybe a ring thing that would go around the guy and it vibrates... I remember thinking it wasn't used and I started to 'you know' with it. I don't even know why I did that, I had never done anything along those lines yet... I just don't what came over me.anyways, after that I started to get discharge... I thought it was apart of puberty. it went on for a few more years and I knew it wasn't normal by then, but I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. I thought I had a yeast infection and it would clear up, nope it's gotten worse. just recently I put that incident from when I was younger together with what's wrong with me.now, I'm 18 and I have terrible discharge.. like a lot of it. I also have really bad menstrual cramps, to the point where I'm crying and curled up in a ball. I know I need to go to the doctors, I've known for many years... but I am so terrified to get a pap smear, or have anyone remotely close to that area. Is there anyway a doctor could diagnose me without having to touch me down there? like maybe I could just get the sample of whatever they need myself? probably a dumb question, but I honestly need to know.this issue is ruining my life. I feel dirty and worthless. I'm a virgin, this shouldn't be happening. also, my boyfriend is a virgin too... we've been together for two and a half years, I want to sleep with him some day... but I can't. he's been so patient, he has no idea that anything is wrong with me. anyways, please help me. I just want to be normal.thank you, to anyone who reads this entire awkward question and tries to help me, it means a lot. I don't know where to turn to.
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (16 November 2012):
Hi OP, cant you talk with your mother, sister, friend about it. You are making up lots of crazy thoughts in your head. Lots of women have discharges, its nothing to do with playing with yourself. Find a lady doctor, think of it as a bit of growing up. Doctors are trained to look after and fix bodies when they go wrong, thats their job. Every woman you look at is made just like you and i expect every single one has at some time a problem discharge from their vagina. Just like your nose gets a cold or your throat sore. The thing with infections in most places in your body is that it doesnt go away very quickly unless you see a doctor. So, time to be strong and go to that doctor!
A
female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (13 November 2012):
You are 18. If you are planning on becomming sexually active you need to have your first pap smear anyway.
As for discharge...it varies depending on your body and the time in your cycle. Some women are prone to developing either bacterial vaginosis or yeast infections due to diet and other personal factors. Neither of these conditions is a sexually transmitted infection, but an overgrowth of the bacteria or yeast that is present naturally.
Having terrible menstrual cramps is often a symptom of endometriosis. If you want children one day, you need to see a gynecologist now. If you have endometriosis, you need treatment as soon as possible to prevent further damage. Usually, a hormone pill is prescribed which will make your periods lighter and less painful.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 November 2012):
 No woman I have ever met would chose to get an examination if they could - the thing is - pap smear and the likes are PREVENTIVE measures, MANY women who have theirs done on a regular basis have been "saved" by catching abnormal cells early. So A Gyno exam is NOT a bad thing.
You are on the other hand NOT a doctor, so you can not self-diagnose a yeast or other infections.
I would find a woman Gyno (if that makes you less worried) and make an appointment, talk to her.
And no, you can't do at home little swabs, they need to be 100% sterile to catch the "culprit".
And what you did at 11 - it's called experimenting. Just like kinds at 4-6 will play "doctor" - you didn't do ANYTHING bad.
As far as your bad periods/cramps - it could be hereditary, so you could ask your mom as well. A heating pad can some alleviate of it and Midol can too.
But you REALLY ought to go see a doctor.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (13 November 2012):
 I REALLY doubt that any of this is related to masturbation. It sounds like something completely unrelated is wrong. I think you should both see a doctor and seek therapy. Sometimes things cause severe anxiety and it's hard to figure out why. A therapist can help you figure that out (and get past it).
On top of that you need to see a doctor. If you need to request a female doctor (if that would help) do so. If you get there and find you can't cope with being touched, they might be able to prescribe you something to take and you can come back.
The pap smear is really painless and you absolutely cannot do it yourself. My guess is a pap smear is not going to clear this up. They will most likely do a pelvic exam and swab you for STDs as well (they can often do these tests with the same motion). You generally can't even feel when they put the swabs in. Tell them you are nervous and they will help you. When I went for the first time I was so scared I had a complete nervous breakdown in the office and they walked me through it and helped.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (13 November 2012):
 Oh..your poor girl. Its awful when we feel something is wrong and yet we let our fears of the unknown take over and stop us from helping ourselves! Please know that you aren't the only woman out there that doesn't want someone messing with her "down there". I've had 2 children and I STILL don't like having a pap test!
AskEve gave a wonderful answer..why don't you make an appointment with a woman gynecologist? Think about..she's got a body just like yours! My girlfriend had a bad experience with a male doctor and she switched to a woman doctor and told me she'd NEVER go back to seeing a male doctor for her gynocology exams! It might make you feel better.
Please sweetie...go to a doctor. They've seen EVERYTHING and there is nothing that you can say or do to shock them. I promise. And if you tell the doctor before the exam that you've never been examined before..they'll be understanding and gentle.
I again agree with Eve..you really should go see a doctor, just because there is no way that anyone can really know what is going on with you just by your description. If you have an infection, its easily cleared up with antibiotics/creams. You will so much better afterwards and you can stop worrying! Then you can relax and feel comfortable enough to want to get close with your guy.
Just take a deep breath and make that phone call to see a doctor. Otherwise, you will just keep going on being nervous, upset and uncomfortable. Please take care of yourself..you'll feel better physically and mentally!
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (13 November 2012):
 Doctors deal with so many thousands of cases of all sorts of stuff a year. So if you ask me...there isn't much they haven't seen. They are also bound by confidentiality. You should just put your best game face on...go and get the problem dealt with! The doctor will probably not even bat an eyelid! Good luck... xx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (13 November 2012):
 I really feel your fear and frustration over all of this. You are worrying about this to the point where it is starting to ruin your life AND possibly your relationship. Masturbating and fooling around with the "toy" is normal so don't feel bad about that. It sounds to me as if you have an infection but again, it's easily cleared up with anti biotics. For your own peace of mind though you need to go to a doctor. If you're embarrassed then ask for a female doctor. Remember too, when you make the appointment, you don't need to tell the receptionist what's wrong with you. Talk to her (the doc) and let her know how embarrassed you are and she'll put you at ease. They look at people's bodies every day and won't even bat an eyelid when she examines you.
Honestly, just think of the plusses... what a burden you'll have lifted once you know that everything is fine and normal, how brave you've been to step out of your comfort zone and taken the necessary steps which will stop you worrying. It will also bring you and your boyfriend closer together and you won't feel scared or awkward at those moments when you get close and "want to..." I'm sure you know exactly what I mean. :)
Go on, make that appointment today, you'll be so glad you did.
~Eve~
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