A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a question about porn, do they really need it to get stimulated or is it just an excuse to look at someone else during a relationship? Is that why some people don't request a picture of their partners to use?
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (18 November 2012):
 Somewhere between a quarter and a third of men don't watch porn, don't let anyone tell you that all men watch.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): The sad thing is with my last boyfriend if I had explicitly and calmly told him I didn't like my boyfriend using porn he probably would of made an effort not to look at it out of respect for me, but it was too late the damage had been done.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): @ shrodingerscat yes what you say does make sense but I can't do that, I have to find a man who doesn't use porn or at least someone who looks at amateur people so then I can just think well they look like me so I'm not bothered.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (17 November 2012):
 If you want to get it down to need vs. want, we don't actually NEED a lot of things these days that have become normal and commonplace. Like electricity, cars, phones, money, the internet, TV, etc. However, having them is an enjoyable luxury. People use porn for the same reason people use any other luxury, because it's fun and enjoyable.
You don't NEED the internet or TV as much as your boyfriend doesn't NEED porn. However, he's entitled to enjoy that luxury just as much as you're entitled to dislike it. If you can't manage dealing with him using porn, find another relationship with a man who doesn't use porn. But good luck with that, because most men do.
You'd be much better off coming to term with porn, instead.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 November 2012):
Anyone who NEEDS it has an addiction.
It's not exactly an excuse to look at others naked, that's not why it's appealing. Why it's appealing is the same reason why just photos of a girlfriend wouldn't work. Our brains LOVE novelty. Which is why people didn't used to have a porn singular, they had porn collections. Porn offers a quick dose of novelty. It's not even about them being hot, they just have to be new.
This website explains it really well:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012): "I have a question about porn, do they really need it to get stimulated or is it just an excuse to look at someone else during a relationship?"
Would you let me shit on your face, lick it off and spit that back into your mouth, if I told you I was really into that and it was a huge fetish for me? Nope, so in that case I'd need porn to satisfy that urge if we wanted to remain together. I know plenty of guys in long term relationships who use porn to satisfy a fetish that their girlfriend won't do and those girlfriends don't mind because their sex life is perfectly fine. One guy loves feet, his partner hates anyone near her feet, so he has to watch videos of that to satisfy that fetish.
If the girlfriend's libido was gone and he was getting no sex from her then yes porn or another woman could be a need, I think porn is an acceptable substitute if the guy wants to remain faithful in those circumstances if he's tried everything possible, won't leave and still gets nothing.
"Is that why some people don't request a picture of their partners to use?"
Why would we really need a picture when we can just imagine them very easily because we know every pore of their body off by heart. I have pictures of my girlfriend, some videos of us together that I may use while she's out of town but they get old quick, watch that or look at them a few times and you only have to close your eyes to see them. They stop doing the trick, unless you want to take new pictures every time you want to have a wank or record a new videos playing out a different fantasy beforehand.
People look at porn for the variety, they don't look at the same picture over and over. It's like music, you may love a song and listen to it a tonne of times but after a while it gets old and you want to listen to other ones.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 November 2012):
 I think some people BELIEVE they "NEED" to look at porn to get excited. Some need more and more extreme images, but that is rare.
Personally, I don't think anyone NEED it. I think people can have great sex lives without ever looking at porn. I think MOST people can figure out new things with out having to watch porn.
In the 1960's they made some research in Denmark - when porn was made "legal" the number of rapes went down. So it was for many year touted as good thing in society. Mind you porn back then was magazines or movie theaters - not instant porn explosion on your phone/computer and/or tablet. I think today in this instant gratification society porn has becomes as "normal" as having a Facebook page, and I honestly don't think that is a sign of a healthy society.
As far as WHO people look at or fantasize about when masturbating - I don't think that really matters. I don't think a women/man who doesn't think of her man/woman LOVES her/his partner any less for having a fantasy with another person in it.
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