A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My brothers friend and i have recently began a relationship after a few months of fwb. We really like each other and have talked about moving in together in march after my lease is up on my own flat. My brother however has put serious doubt in my head. Hes always talking about how my boyfriend is a lady killer and his many flings when their were club reps in the summer. I cant confront my brother about and ask him if my boyfriend is still like this as we have kept things quiet as they have been friends for years and i cant ask my boyfriend because the truth is i dont want to know that while we were fwb he was seeing others. He has never said he was seeing other girls but we never said it was just us? Ive always faniced him and we had a fling while i was at college four years ago but this time its more serious and i know he means it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (30 December 2012):
 If you want to make a choice you can live with. Think very hard and seriously. Risk or caution which direction do you want to take. I would forget about the past, start fresh 2013. Ask him what the deal is with you, is it for real or just to have somebody and still play around. Find out, take a chance or keep it moving.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (29 December 2012):
 I don't think you and your boyfriend are ready to move in together. It's very, very early days and you have good reason to question whether he's ready for commitment. So, take your time and get to know him.
Are you saying you're keeping your relationship a secret from your brother? That's not a good sign! Perhaps you both know your brother won't approve. You should definitely talk to your brother about all this. He will have your best interests at heart. And it's better to know the truth about your boyfriend, no matter how upsetting it may be, before you take such a big step forwards.
I like person12345's advice of extending your lease for a bit. There's no hurry. Date him for a while longer and you'll find out whether or not he's a reformed character without investing so much into it. I hope he is. Hope it all works out.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (29 December 2012):
 I think you should put off moving in together for a bit until you are really sure you can trust him. Talk to your landlord about a shorter lease, like 6 months instead of a year. That way you two can spend more time together and really get to know each other. It sounds like this is going pretty fast and I'm concerned he might be rushing it so that he can try to force himself to change his ways. You don't want to be stuck on a lease with him if that's the case. He also may have changed, but since you don't know yet, it's best not to take an unnecessary gamble.
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