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... Send *enimandLace44 a private message | | | *enimandLace44's profile:Single and made a lot of mistakes and bad choices. I believe in second chances. I believe that today is a fresh start. I believe that people change. I believe everyone deserves to be loved for who they are not what someone else wants them to be. I believe that sometimes things can be fixed and sometimes they cant. Either way we have the strength within us to do what we have to do.
I'm a mother of 7...and I'm a full time EMT. That means I give emergency medical care and drive an ambulance. I am an adrenalin junkie and I love helping people. :)
Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.--Janis Joplin
Don't listen to those who say, "It's not done that way." Maybe it's not, but maybe you will. Don't listen to those who say, "You're taking too big a chance." Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Most importantly, don't listen when the little voice of fear inside of you rears its ugly head and says, "They're all smarter than you out there. They're more talented, they're taller, blonder, prettier, luckier and have connections…" I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts, and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live, the chances are you'll be a person worthy of your own respect.--Neil Simon |
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Why don't my parents want me to grow up?
Q. I'm 23 and still living at home. I envy my cousins who are in their twenties and have children with their partners out of wedlock. My parents are really conservative and I'm not. They think that you have to be married just to leave home! I ...
A. 5 June 2011: I understand because I was brought up the same way. And I've seen this played out over and over and over. Someone has to break the mold. I don't say you are backwards...just that marriage is not the best way out IF you aren't sure about it. If you ... (read in full...)
Can the depo shot stop your period right from the first time you take it?
Q. So, just got my depo shot on the firtst (first time ever). And I still made the mistake of having sex before my week was up (3 days before). My period was supposed to come around this week and hasn't shown. Needless to say, I miss Aunt Flo and am ...
A. 19 November 2010: Well, I have found the cheap ones work just as well as the more expensive ones. Trust me I've used lots and lots of them between 10 pregnacies and 7 years and counting of menopause. Shoulda bought stock in the company.... ;) ... (read in full...)
Am I the only woman who doesn't want children or the perfect "white picket fence" life?
Q. I'm 23 now and even since i can remember i've never been interested in having children, i mean, at all. Sometimes it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. Whenever i've been around friends or family and they're all fussing over one of ...
A. 18 November 2010: No obviously you arent alone. Its fine to be different! Its much better to be honest and not have kids if you dont want them, than to have them and resent them for "messing up your life"...
Some people dont ever change their minds, and some do. ... (read in full...)
Why don't my parents want me to grow up?
Q. I'm 23 and still living at home. I envy my cousins who are in their twenties and have children with their partners out of wedlock. My parents are really conservative and I'm not. They think that you have to be married just to leave home! I ...
A. 18 November 2010: They treat you like a child because you still act like their baby. You want to be respected and treated mature...but you are willing to let them support you in every way. Independence comes with a price. To be independent you must be exactly that. ... (read in full...)
Can he take me to court or stop me from leaving the country? Or is he just pissed?
Q. okay my ex and are not talking and yesterday i sent him a text saying 'i know that car was your gf's she told me (bluff). how could you leave me in a hosiptal all alone crying my eyes out and thinking my baby was going to die, while you were ...
A. 18 November 2010: You need to check the laws in your country. He does have some rights as the father of your child, but will have many more as soon as the child is born. I would seriously consider doing something before then. Again check the laws in the two country's ... (read in full...)
I cheated, confessed, my wife forgave me but I feel horrible!
Q. So this is my situation: recently I cheated on my wife...mostly emottional but it did almost go to the point fo having sex. I almost began the "act" with my lover but deep down I felt horrible and stopped. I just walked away and never looked bac...
A. 18 November 2010: You've had some great answers. The hardest two things are 1)forgiving yourself and 2) feeling like you have already screwed up and doing it again because you cant forgive yourself
You have to forgive yourself and move on. It is disappointing to f... (read in full...)
Can the depo shot stop your period right from the first time you take it?
Q. So, just got my depo shot on the firtst (first time ever). And I still made the mistake of having sex before my week was up (3 days before). My period was supposed to come around this week and hasn't shown. Needless to say, I miss Aunt Flo and am ...
A. 18 November 2010: You may not want to hear my experience because it was a horrible one. I skipped the first month completely, and then Aunt Flo visited for over 6 weeks. I called the doctor and she acted like it was perfectly normal. :( I also gained 30 pounds that ... (read in full...)
I want to get back together but he lies constantly!
Q. I have a son to him, he is 23. Long ago i put him out and re married but so did he. He is a trucker and i talked to him all the time. For almost two years i have been trying to get back with him but he lies all the time, tells me he kinda is going ...
A. 18 November 2010: Im sorry but I don't understand why you would want to be with someone who lies to you all the time. It doesn't seem like he wants to really be with you, only enjoys being your chat buddy. I really think it is time for you to move on as hard as that ... (read in full...)
How do I confront him? How do I tell him I snooped on his cellphone?
Q. I am 27 and i'm in love with this tall handsome, fun guy. He is charming, gentle and really respectful. All the qualities you can think of the 'ideal man'. We spent this past easter holidays with my family paragliding and partying. My whole family ...
A. 15 November 2010: Hugs hunny. I'm sorry it turned out like that, but i think you handled it well.... (read in full...)
Is it okay to embrace the feeling the friend gave me and does it make me gay?
Q. As Katy Perry said "I Kissed a girl and I liked it". The problem is the girl who kissed me was a friend and I responded. I was quite ashamed about it and never spoke about it to anyone until the other day, when I accidently slipped to a friend, ...
A. 11 November 2010: I think you felt safer with this friend. Its totally understandable and it doesnt mean you are "gay" "lesbian" or even bi.
Councelling would be really good. Go slow in your relationships and dont do anything you arent comfortable with. The ... (read in full...)
Oil and condoms.....
Q. Dear agony aunt, This is another condom related question. I read that oil based lubricants such as baby oil and body lotion should not be used. However, what if at that time it totally slipped our minds that our hands had some body lotion (due to ...
A. 11 November 2010: It shouldn't....when used as a lube, the petroleum breaks down latex, but you are using enough to coat the condom. I do not think that a minute amount would be enough, or as aunt honesty said, dried. ... (read in full...)
He leaves after we just had sex!
Q. right i am seeing a man nearly 9 weeks and i am very confusing about him . we had great sex but all he text me about sex and on sites . he never takes me out to make them know i am his girlfriend at all . i only see him oone or 2 times a week at ...
A. 11 November 2010: Jilly is right...(the other posters are ALL right as well) in saying you should be more astute at your age.
You are not his girlfriend. You are his F*** buddy. Stop giving him sex and he will not keep coming around. You need to stop seeing him ... (read in full...)
Will sex hurt because I am circumsized?
Q. Im a circumsized male (was circumsized since birth for medical reasons) and am wondering will sex hurt with/without a condom (I dont intend on having kids any time soon though, so mainly with a condom), I know unless lube is used I wont be able to ...
A. 11 November 2010: The things I read specifically stated that the only time p-based lubes were recommended WERE for male masterbation. I wouldn't know this from experience of course... :).
Hope we helped! ... (read in full...)
Will sex hurt because I am circumsized?
Q. Im a circumsized male (was circumsized since birth for medical reasons) and am wondering will sex hurt with/without a condom (I dont intend on having kids any time soon though, so mainly with a condom), I know unless lube is used I wont be able to ...
A. 11 November 2010: Yes, petroleum based products break down latex. Therefore it can cause weaknesses in condoms. It can also break some of the components used in vibrators and other toys. You can google it for more information.
There are some good alte... (read in full...)
How do I confront him? How do I tell him I snooped on his cellphone?
Q. I am 27 and i'm in love with this tall handsome, fun guy. He is charming, gentle and really respectful. All the qualities you can think of the 'ideal man'. We spent this past easter holidays with my family paragliding and partying. My whole family ...
A. 10 November 2010: Then you have every right to expect that from him. Let us know what he says....... (read in full...)
How do I confront him? How do I tell him I snooped on his cellphone?
Q. I am 27 and i'm in love with this tall handsome, fun guy. He is charming, gentle and really respectful. All the qualities you can think of the 'ideal man'. We spent this past easter holidays with my family paragliding and partying. My whole family ...
A. 10 November 2010: You have to talk to him and find out what is going on. There is no other way to move forward without that. I'm sorry that you are hurting...
I don't know if you have discussed whether this is a monogamous relationship? If you have and you have... (read in full...)
Will sex hurt because I am circumsized?
Q. Im a circumsized male (was circumsized since birth for medical reasons) and am wondering will sex hurt with/without a condom (I dont intend on having kids any time soon though, so mainly with a condom), I know unless lube is used I wont be able to ...
A. 10 November 2010: No, there will be no problem whatsoever in relationship to your circumcision. :)
Don't have sex until you are ready, not because your girlfriend is pressuring you. When you do, as you said, use protection. :)... (read in full...)
What do I say if my husband-to-be asks about my vagina being loose?
Q. i m 26yr old getting married soon.. how do i answer my husband if he ask abt my vagina being loose.. i love him a lot pls help....
A. 9 November 2010: You tell him that just as men come in different sizes, so do women. ... (read in full...)
Cold Spouse after sex
Q. Married almost thirty years, have had our children early. They are all married. Recently, my husband has had a job change, and is trying to reinvent himself. I understand how difficult this is, and it has been going on now for about two years. ...
A. 9 November 2010: I have never found anything in my life as difficult as the passage into this phase of my life. I think we made it so far that we thought we had it made, but the reality is that middle age brings with it a whole new bag of complexities.
If he wont... (read in full...)
She says she loves me but isn't in love with me
Q. hi i need help i think my relationship is coming to a close but im finding it realy hard to deal with. i want to try and get things back how they were, she says she loves me but she says she's not in love with me. i said if i loved her id let...
A. 9 November 2010: Break ups are never easy. If she isnt in love with you, there will come a day when she will fall for someone else. You are wasting your time with her...except for the child involved. If she is willing to work on the relationship then be open to ... (read in full...)
He throws his ex in my face when we fight
Q. My boyfriend and i have had a lot of up's and downs. we love each other, and it seems he dont want to break up. not everything we fight about is his fault, but when we do fight, he throws his ex's in my face. "his ex's trusted him better" "his ex's ...
A. 9 November 2010: He is immature! If his ex's were so great why isn't he still with them? Maybe for the same reason that it won't last between the two of you. Move on and find someone who appreciates you for who you are and not continually putting you down for who ... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend like another boy?
Q. Ok so i have been dating this girl for about 4 weeks now i really like her and would do anything for her she also likes me the same way.Well im just wondering if she is loyal to me? because i introduced her to a freind of mine and she couldnt stop ...
A. 9 November 2010: She's not your girlfriend. She's boy crazy and will move along with whoever comes along and catches her eye next. She isnt ready for a relationship with one guy. I'm sorry but its true. She may be cute and fun and sweet, but she is not monogamous.... (read in full...)
How do I move on when I have to see him daily at work? It hurts!
Q. I've been dating him for four months, problem is his ex is always around, they do things together that sometimes i feel left out. He told me not to worry abt it coz she s just a friend, i get so jealous, so angry and i cry so hard..its like im not ...
A. 9 November 2010: Thats a tough question, but I do think you need to move on. He may love you, but he loves her too. And he isnt admitting it to himself but you are not number one in his life. Try to keep as much distance between you as you can. He may be a nice guy, ... (read in full...)
How to get a guy out of your system for good?
Q. How do you get a guy out of your system for good? I'm trying the no contact rule at the moment, which has lasted a week so far. I want to remove him from facebook but haven't got the willpower yet but i have deleted his number. I really need to do ...
A. 9 November 2010: Honey, if we had the answer to that we would all be rich. There is no tried and proven way. What works for one, may not work for the next person...and what works for them, may not work for you. The best thing to do is to stay busy, and try to keep ... (read in full...)
Why hasn't he been retested for STDs?
Q. Over 3 months ago my partner was bitten by a drunk female while he was operating his taxi. He reported the matter to the police. He agreed to go for blood tests. I offered to go with him but he said that he preferred to go on his own. Later that day ...
A. 9 November 2010: You have showed him the information and for whatever reason he hasn't retested and he doesn't want to discuss it. If your relationship is platonic, then I think you have done all that you can do. If there are sexual relations then you can refuse ... (read in full...)
When two people stay friends after a break up, does one usually harbour feelings?
Q. Does anyone think when two people break up and remain friends that theres an ulterior motive? I am sure that there are exceptions to the rule (where there is a genuine friendship) but generally do you think one person harbours feelings? ...
A. 9 November 2010: I'm sure there are exceptions to every rule, but I believe that yes there are usually feelings harboured...... (read in full...)
My ex has a fake profile pretending to be someone else and he has befriended me
Q. My lover dumped me 3 weeks ago,he said he needed some space and time to think things out etc.I have left him alone but i am heartbroken, anyway he has gone on a website that i go on and he goes in a profile pretending he is someone else...he ...
A. 6 November 2010: Bahahaha....Birdy! You owe me a keyboard!
I think the others are right he isnt sure.... He wants to have an in if he decides he wants to come back. Block him!... (read in full...)
Strange email...
Q. I was checking my email when I saw a picture, it says this person was searching for you - it was a 31 year old from my city, the email is under my husband's name, should I question this or just leave this alone?...
A. 4 November 2010: I get these all the time. They are spam. I dont know how they got my name, i have never been on any kind of dating sight! Give him the benefit of the doubt. :)... (read in full...)
He cant go out without drinking!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 9 months already and I love him with all my heart. But lately Ive been feeling really unhappy every time we go out or he goes out he HAS to drink. He gets really stupid when he does and I don't like it. He doesn't ever ...
A. 2 November 2010: Someone I love dearly drinks and uses drugs daily. I hate it but have came to realize that I cannot control what they do. This will not get better, so you must decide if it is something you are prepared fo deal with.
Some people feel as if they... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 31 October 2010: The best " revenge" is to find peace and happiness elsewhere. You can go to the sheriff's department and get a deputy to go to the bome with you to collect your things. Then move on and cut all contact. Do not respond to anything and be happy. :) ... (read in full...)
In the heat of the argument I told him he has a tiny penis! I know I have screwed up, so how do I fix this?
Q. Ok so ive been seeing this guy for a while now almost a year. He told me before that he always thought he had a small penis (he had been drinking, in fact i dont know if he remembers telling me that) but hes not small hes like 6.5 in. Ive been told ...
A. 27 October 2010: Also...meaness or cruelty is never justified. Even in the heat of a fight. This is a lesson most of us learn the hard way. :( ... (read in full...)
In the heat of the argument I told him he has a tiny penis! I know I have screwed up, so how do I fix this?
Q. Ok so ive been seeing this guy for a while now almost a year. He told me before that he always thought he had a small penis (he had been drinking, in fact i dont know if he remembers telling me that) but hes not small hes like 6.5 in. Ive been told ...
A. 27 October 2010: Yes, you screwed up. There is nothing NOTHING that you could have said that would have been worse. There are things about everyone that they are insecure about and if you truly love them you would never attack them in these areas.
I dont thin... (read in full...)
Threesome lead to wife giving something that I had always wanted
Q. Awhile back, my wife and I got drunk and lost our inhibitions and did something we always fantasized about, but should have left as a fantasy. We had a threesome, with a complete stranger. We picked a stranger, because we thought the chances of a...
A. 27 October 2010: Male anon, the OP brought up divorce in his follow up. I think you two need to sit and talk about what happened. Male anon is right, I think it would bother most men. Lots of good replies here that I agree with. We can guess all day but for this ... (read in full...)
I have been called a "wasp" - what does that mean?
Q. if someones calls you a wasp what does that mean?...
A. 26 October 2010: Top six. WWW. Acronymfinder.com/slang/WASP
We are Sexual Perverts
We are Satan's People (AC/DC)
We are Sexy Pagans
White Anglo Saxon Pagan
What a Strange Person
Wait Ask Sniff Pet
Not a stalker to be found... I think eyes and her bee... (read in full...)
My boyfriend still thinks I'm a virgin!
Q. Hey, I need some advice. So, I was dating this guy for about a year. Things between him and I were great, I truely loved him to death. The thing is that he asked if I was a virgin, and at the time I was. I knew that he wasn't, and he knew that I ...
A. 26 October 2010: The "No actually I'm not" line sounds like a good plan. Not real intense but getting the job done. Good luck hunny :)... (read in full...)
This site makes me feel worse, not better!
Q. I recently learned of this site via some friends, as 3 months ago I went through a very bad break-up with The Only Woman I ever loved and still love. And, with my recent introduction to and utilization of this site, I have found that it has only ...
A. 23 October 2010: Yes, the way you feel is perfectly normal. When you first come to the site, you are so focused on the problem at hand, that it is a huge relief to find people who understand, and to find that others have been/are in your shoes. That you are not the ... (read in full...)
Could he have meant it when he said "I love you"?
Q. Ok so I'm with this gorgeous, intelligent, and delicious latino man and everything's been good for eight months. We have 14yrs between us but we get along well (if he doesn't play 80s music and I don't try to show him the loveliness of Il Divo ...
A. 23 October 2010: Aww, thats wonderful! I love happy endings. Congratulations! :)... (read in full...)
Could he have meant it when he said "I love you"?
Q. Ok so I'm with this gorgeous, intelligent, and delicious latino man and everything's been good for eight months. We have 14yrs between us but we get along well (if he doesn't play 80s music and I don't try to show him the loveliness of Il Divo ...
A. 23 October 2010: Aww, thats wonderful! I love happy endings. Congratulations! :)... (read in full...)
Could he have meant it when he said "I love you"?
Q. Ok so I'm with this gorgeous, intelligent, and delicious latino man and everything's been good for eight months. We have 14yrs between us but we get along well (if he doesn't play 80s music and I don't try to show him the loveliness of Il Divo ...
A. 23 October 2010: Aww, thats wonderful! I love happy endings. Congratulations! :)... (read in full...)
Do women like to catch a glimpse of a man's penis or balls?
Q. Do women like it when men wear shortish kind of shorts and maybe you catch a glimpse of what he is packing here or there (san undies, of course). I love it when I happen to catch a glimpse up a woman's skirt, or into her shorts, or down her top to ...
A. 21 October 2010: No...NO...NO...No way!... (read in full...)
Should I just drop it since it really doesn't impact me that much?
Q. I was widowed a little over two years ago (he was great and so was my 21 year marriage). For over a year now I've been in a relationship with a legally separated man. He left the marriage 3+ years ago. I'm a 100% certain that he has no romantic ...
A. 14 October 2010: If he is legally separated I would leave it. He needs a place of refuge it sounds like and you are it. Don't destroy that by pressuring him for something that you don't even really need.
Someday the kids will be grown, and he will no longer have... (read in full...)
Lip gloss as a lubricant?
Q. Oh my gosh, well, I was like really well in the mood. And I used lip gloss as a lubricant, and I'm scared can this damage you? :/ Any help would be very much appreciated. ...
A. 13 October 2010: Were you having sex with someone, or were you masterbating? If you were alone, then what the other aunts said is on target. If you were with someone and they were using a condom, then it could potentially affect that condom. Anything with petroleum ... (read in full...)
Could he have meant it when he said "I love you"?
Q. Ok so I'm with this gorgeous, intelligent, and delicious latino man and everything's been good for eight months. We have 14yrs between us but we get along well (if he doesn't play 80s music and I don't try to show him the loveliness of Il Divo ...
A. 26 September 2010: I agree with LLindy87. If he hasnt been saying it...then it means he doesnt just say it without meaning. I think he said what was in his heart.... (read in full...)
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