A
male
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anonymous
writes:hi i need helpi think my relationship is coming to a close but im finding it realy hard to deal with. i want to try and get things back how they were,she says she loves me but she says she's not in love with me.i said if i loved her id let her go, but she said no i wanna fight for us, but for the past 4/5 night i have been in tears every night.we have been together 18 months and have a 10 month old childany help on how to get things working again or how to deal with the break up would be nice Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 There wasn't a lot of info on what made her fell out of love.That line has been used too many times and said at in reaction to something emotional. If she really wanted the relationship with work, saying something like that was mind blowingly stupid. What does she want you to do and what can you do? It's possible she is in love with her baby. The mother and child bond can be so strong that it sacrifices the marital bond. Think about it, a new mother is obsessed with a baby's well being. Every time a baby cries something could go wrong. A little accident like dropping him means a trip to the hospital. The baby needs that kind of bond to thrive.The only thing you could do is accept that this is a phase and the child will be independent one day. It gets easier when the child is 5+. The thing she can do is to take back her words and have faith that she will one day fall back in love with you. It doesn't sound like she's interested in somebody else. She has to be sensitive to how hurt she has made you feel.For now, don't panic as it would cause her to believe something is really wrong when in fact many couples go through that. They made mistakes thinking that their spouse is not the one. When a woman goes through a pregnancy and childbirth, their chemistry changes and their brains are not the same anymore. She isn't used to changes but that doesn't necessarily mean she can't be in love anymore. Besides physical changes there are also lifestyle changes. Suddenly it's all diapers, sleep deprivation and no more fun. So plan a romantic date when both of your moods improve.
A
female
reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Break ups are never easy. If she isnt in love with you, there will come a day when she will fall for someone else. You are wasting your time with her...except for the child involved. If she is willing to work on the relationship then be open to that, but I honestly don't think it will last. It seems to always cause trouble when one half of the relationship loves more than the other. Please stay involved in your childs life no matter what happens between you and her. good luck sweetheart.
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