A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I need some advice. So, I was dating this guy for about a year. Things between him and I were great, I truely loved him to death. The thing is that he asked if I was a virgin, and at the time I was. I knew that he wasn't, and he knew that I was, so he didn't pressure me about it. We broke up about 2 months later, and I moved on.He and I got back together after 4 months of being apart. Our relationship basically got back to where we left off. He had mentioned the subject of sex, which I'm sure he assumes that I'm still a virgin, which isn't true, while we were broken up I had slept with my boyfriend at the time.I want to tell him that I'm not a virgin WITHOUT hurting his feelings. I'm sure he'd be crushed, but I don't know how to bring it up.Can I just have your opinion? We have an inside joke that I'm secretly a hooker. Everytime we joked about it he'd simply deny it and say, "Nah, you're a virgin." So, I want to bring up the joke again and say, "Why do you think that?" or, "No... Actually, I'm not."I just want to bring it up in subtle hints. Any ideas? This is really important, I want him to know, but I don't want to blurt out that I slept with someone else. Please, help!
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broke up, crush, escort, got back together, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): A gentleman never asks, a lady never tells, and everyone gets STIs.
A
female
reader, marymomnwife  +, writes (26 October 2010):
if u let it go for too long it becomes a lie. that will contaminate ur relationship far worse than telling him right away. dont dance around the subject but do be gentle. yes he will be upset but thats his right but right down to it its ur body and u 2 were not dating at the time it happened so u were not cheating. guys can feel insecure about themselves so b prepared u may have to answer a question like u lost ur v in the short amount of time we were apart what was i not good enough or were u afraid i would hurt u? whatever he may say he needs to know b4 much more time passes.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (26 October 2010):
 Subtle hints will not work. Period.
Just use the "No, actually I'm not" line. Use it gently, not confrontationally. He will probably be upset that you had sex with someone in the four months you were apart.
Let him be upset. Obviously he doesn't get to decide who you sleep with when you're not together, but he does get to disapprove. And you have let him believe you still were. He'll get over it.
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A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 a gentleman never asks...and a lady never tells.
when you really think about it, its a really good policy, don't you think?.
now that you've done the deed, do you want to sleep with this guy. if so, you need to tell him. if not, don't tell him, at least not until the time is right.
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (26 October 2010):
 The "No actually I'm not" line sounds like a good plan. Not real intense but getting the job done. Good luck hunny :)
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