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Why hasn't he been retested for STDs?

Tagged as: Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 November 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2010)
A female Ireland age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Over 3 months ago my partner was bitten by a drunk female while he was operating his taxi. He reported the matter to the police. He agreed to go for blood tests. I offered to go with him but he said that he preferred to go on his own. Later that day I asked what exact test were being carried out and he just named AIDS and HIV. I asked when he was scheduled for his blood to be retested and he said the doctor made no reference to it. When I pressed the matter further he said that he had been in contact with the STD clinic and they didn't mention re-testing eithir.

I am a Nursing Student and I had received a lecture on the topic so I contacted the Nurse who lectured us. According to her he should have been tested for AIDS, HIV, Hepetitis B and C as well as Primary Syphillis. She also says he needs to be re-tested in 12 weeks. I told him everything she said and backed it with my notes from class. Since then he has not discussed the issue with me. He has never discussed the effects of this whole incident on us as a couple. We are just living in the same house with no affection or physical contact other than a peck on the cheek when he is leaving the house.

I am very fed up with him because it has been 15 weeks since the incident and he should be at least be preparing for the repeat blood tests and there is absolutely no mention of it what so ever.

How do I deal with this ? What do I do ?

View related questions: aids , drunk, std

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

Hi, wrote my last post in a bit much of a hurry. Rereading the post I wanted to make it clear to you that I wasn't advocating sex before these tests are completed...just suggesting you tell him you're concerned for both of you as he may be in the mindset that its his problem only. Or that everything is cool now because he got the tests the doc recomended so he may look to resume sexual contact. If he sees the bigger impact it might strike him into action. I hope this makes sense!

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (9 November 2010):

The Realist agony auntI think that he does need some time, I mean it's a bit much to go through all these tests after being so shooken up after being bittin. Also he could be worried if there is something wrong although the chances are small. I'm slightly confused why aids and HIV are the big concerns unless the woman was bleeding which she may have been those are not spread by saliva.

Anyway try your best to be patient. I undderstand him in that I would much rather just forget about the incident rather then going through everything else afterwards. He'll come around and go for the tests when he is ready. But in the end you can't make him go and the pressure will drive you two apart. I understand that you are concerned for yourself as well as him but in the end it is his choice to go for the tests and it is yours to stay with him. I hope your can convinve him but frustration won't do it.

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A female reader, DenimandLace44 United States +, writes (9 November 2010):

DenimandLace44 agony auntYou have showed him the information and for whatever reason he hasn't retested and he doesn't want to discuss it. If your relationship is platonic, then I think you have done all that you can do. If there are sexual relations then you can refuse until the results from the tests are in. Otherwise he is an adult making his own decisions, even if they are bad ones.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

Some people just get something stuck n their head and won't budge. He might feel like the doc and std clinic didn't mention this so all is good with the world. He might be feeling like you are just being overprotective. Sit him down. Te him you won't feel comfortable that you are both in the clear until he is retested and tested for the additional stds you mention. See if he wants to discuss the incident with the bite further. He may still be in shock. Offer to setup the std test appointments for him. Tell him you love & miss him and you both need to work together to move on from this. Good luck.

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