A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay my ex and are not talking and yesterday i sent him a text saying 'i know that car was your gf's she told me (bluff). how could you leave me in a hosiptal all alone crying my eyes out and thinking my baby was going to die, while you were partying with her and didnt answer me. you swore to me this was not the case and you swore on everyones life who was important to you'. he responded back saying he was bringing me to court because i blown the whole situation out of propotion. so like can he or is he just pissed? he was found out to be a snake plus i told him i was leaving the country and not coming back. can he stop me? im 6 months pregant i know i might seem like a bitch but im just pushed to my reaching point at this stage.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): I just want to apologise for my tone in my last post OP. Please don't take offence by my last few paragraphs.
Seriously I'm not trying to be hurtful or insulting, but you seem far too focused on getting back at your ex than you do about your unborn child. Perhaps I was wrong in some of the things I said and I definitely could have been less harsh and more diplomatic in answer, so if I offended you I'm truly sorry.
I've seen this kind of game play out lots of times though and in the end it's the child that suffers. Don't let that happen for a petty squabble with your ex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): Yeah I have experience in this and here in Ireland he can have an injunction to stop you leaving the country with his child. Plus if you did decide to leave the country despite that injunction then you wouldn't be able to go anywhere in Europe, America, Canada, Australia or any other Western country because they all have extradition treaties with Ireland and what you're doing would be considered kidnapping.
There are a lot of other countries with the same treaty with Ireland and the ones that don't, are usually very undesirable countries anyway. Look you'd be on the run if you left, raising the child illegally because they trace you through your pps number if you tried to get any kind of legitimate job. You really would find it exceptionally difficult and frankly that's not the best way to raise a child.
Look your the mother you'll automatically have more rights than him in court but the leaving the country thing is very serious unless you can get full uncontested custody of that child (which is unlikely) then if you try to leave the country you'll be charged with kidnapping and lose custody of your child and only be allowed supervized visits, if even that. There is also a chance of a lengthy jail sentence. Really they've been cracking down on that a hell of a lot recently due to immigrant women and men coming over having babies with Irish guys and then going home to their own countries because there's no jobs here.
Yes it is that serious.
I must say though that this only applies to babies that are already born and he's been declared the father legally. I'm not sure about pregnancy. You should go talk to a solicitor about that. But you might be able to go while pregnant and not declare him as the father. The only problem though is if he;s insistent on this he can pursue you legally almost anywhere you go and it will just cost a hell of a lot more for you to contest it. This will cost you both a lot of money that could be better used on the child don't you think?
You need to sort this out with him, whether he's a snake or not it would better to come to some kind of deal, instead of dragging this through the courts.
If you don't mind me saying if you're not talking to him and you know he's snake then what the hell is with this shit? 'i know that car was your gf's she told me (bluff). how could you leave me in a hosiptal all alone crying my eyes out and thinking my baby was going to die, while you were partying with her and didnt answer me. you swore to me this was not the case and you swore on everyones life who was important to you'
It seems to me like you like to play games. You know you can't expect anything from him so you're using the baby to get back at him from what I see, in some kind of bitter twisted mind game and he's playing along.
"i know i might seem like a bitch but im just pushed to my reaching point at this stage" yeah you do actually, you're using your unborn baby as leverage in some kind of sick tiff with your ex. You're going to be a mother soon, you need to stop playing these games and start preparing for that. It's a tough job motherhood you need to get your priorities straight and soon. You have 2-3 months to prepare for 18 years of a 24 hour job and all you're worried about is some snide back and forth bullshit with your ex?
Some utter crap about him partying while little martyr lays in the hospital. I'm sorry for putting it this way OP but your child is not a bargaining chip, you know he's not going to be around so why the hell do you keep pestering him and getting pissed at him. It's not good for the baby or you. You need to forget about his personal life and look for support from other people. Yes he should be there for you and his baby but he's not going to be. You just have to make sure he pays his way and does his side of the raising.
Seriously this stress and emotional grief is really putting a strain on your pregnancy, you were already in hospital for something "life threatening" to the baby, or did you make that up to get at him? You need to relax and be healthy, get rid of all this stress.
http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/preg_stress.htm
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reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 You need to check the laws in your country. He does have some rights as the father of your child, but will have many more as soon as the child is born. I would seriously consider doing something before then. Again check the laws in the two country's involved.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (18 November 2010):
 He is going to stop you from leaving the country and take you to court?
What is he taking you to court for? Unless you threatened him or damaged some of his property or something like that he can't take you to court because you blew something out of proportion. He has nothing.
Your over eighteen years old, you have a baby on the way (congrats by the way, motherhood is awesome) and you naturally were concerned for your baby. He should have been there for you. If you want to leave the country, then by all means, leave the country. He can't stop you.
He was probably upset and angry and was making things up to scare you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): From breif law studies I know that if you have lied about something like this and you do go to court you will automatically be judged as being the bad one and frown upon. Whether you have been pushed to breaking point or not if you are given a criminal record you aren't allowed to move to a different country normally, so in effect he could stop you moving yes.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 November 2010):
He may be able to, yes. You'd need to talk to a solicitor about it. Only a solicitor could give you the proper advice on something like this.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 Take you to court for what? Did you take any action or threaten him in any way? If not, he has nothing...
Leave the country as you please, birth this child and raise it well. You are free to leave him and there is no reason why you shouldn't.
What I see here is not a 'bitch', you are a woman who was worried, scared for the safety and health of precious life that grows within you. You have a right to be angry but, for the sake of your child, forget him and this whole ordeal and move on. Live happily, good luck.
I hope that helps.
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