| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Boyfriend has still kept nude pics of his ex despite being with me for 4 years and 2 kids together
Q. So I was trying to get photos off of my camera and save them to my external hard drive using my boyfriends computer. I Accidentally clicked on his porn folder (I don't care that he has porn saved to his computer) my eye was caught by a photo of...
A. 20 April 2017: So the computer didn't allow for deletion? That is very odd. Im glad you resolved it, though. Best of luck onward and hope you don't discover anything else like this in the future ;)... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I am 19 years old and I still hang out with my parents ?
Q. Hello, Well, i am 19 years old, i am studying in college, but still living with my parents. The thing is i don't hang out with my friends: i still don't drive and we live far away from the city, and there's no public transport nearby. So whene...
A. 18 April 2017: It's not weird. You enjoy their company, they enjoy yours, and you actually don't have much of a choice because you don't have easy access to other people.
I hang out with my mom too, as friends. I have even taken her with me to parties with my ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has still kept nude pics of his ex despite being with me for 4 years and 2 kids together
Q. So I was trying to get photos off of my camera and save them to my external hard drive using my boyfriends computer. I Accidentally clicked on his porn folder (I don't care that he has porn saved to his computer) my eye was caught by a photo of...
A. 18 April 2017: Oh and do clean the trash bin after deleting the pictures... Get rid of them properly. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has still kept nude pics of his ex despite being with me for 4 years and 2 kids together
Q. So I was trying to get photos off of my camera and save them to my external hard drive using my boyfriends computer. I Accidentally clicked on his porn folder (I don't care that he has porn saved to his computer) my eye was caught by a photo of...
A. 18 April 2017: Why do you think he kept them? Dont be naive. They were in his porn file, how much more obvious can it get?
Here is what you do: take a screenshot to save the evidence. Store it somewhere only you have access to (such as you Outlook or sky driv... (read in full...)
My parents don't believe in boy-girl friendships but I need my guy friends in my life!
Q. hey guys, i'm 19 years old, college is not far away from my parents' house, so i still live with them. actually they are strict, and they don't believe in a girl-boy friendship.. for them, a girl should only have girl friends. However, I have thr...
A. 18 April 2017: Its okay that they dont know about this. You are adult now. You should choose your own friends. But just as well to not cause unnecessary drama with parents. They dont need to know. ... (read in full...)
Should work always come first for my boyfriend, even in case of a minor medical emergency like mine?
Q. My boyfriend of one year works from home. We live together. He's the project manager of a small but successful company. He works at least 10 hours a day. I had severe stomach pains yesterday which came back this morning, so my boyfriend took m...
A. 18 April 2017: No, work should never come first. If you ask me.... (read in full...)
I thought my fiance didn't love his ex wife but his old Facebook post seemed to imply otherwise
Q. I am so disappointed please tell me if I'm over reacting. I found an old post from 6 years ago on my Fiancé face book on his marriage anniversary stating how lucky he was to have her and he hit a jackpot and hope this happiness never ends! I know ...
A. 18 April 2017: Honestly? I think people exaggerate a lot on Facebook. People arent real on there, they only post happy smiling photos and all posts are all rainbows and sunshine. I would not take Facebook photos as proof of anything. In fact, I think the opposite ... (read in full...)
Is it worth breaking up over this situation?
Q. Alright so this is kind of a confusing situation for me and I'm really in need of opinions/advice. I've been with my fiance for a little over 3 years. A couple months ago, I found out that he was talking to another woman basically the same way...
A. 17 April 2017: I find it astonishing that what you're worried about is him cheating (and yes, this is cheating) when in fact the worse and more alarming thing is what he openly admitted: scamming. So he fesses up to being a low life criminal who uses others and ... (read in full...)
How do guys cope with knowing their Gf's ex was well endowed? Do girls miss it and just settle ?
Q. Hello all, I have always struggled with intimate things as I would be worried about if my partner had been with very well endowed men. I know that statistically most guys will have to deal with that. But how do they? It always seems like...
A. 15 April 2017: Sigh. This comes down to the general misconception that bigger is better. Its not. If a girl has been with a well endowed man before, chances are she will be thrilled to be with someone average again.
Putting something large into a small opening ... (read in full...)
Money is tight. Lots of financial pressure. How do I get him to see that he doesn't have enough money to attend the car race ?
Q. Been with my fiance for 3 years. Currently We are BROKE. Had to cancel wedding (was meant to be next month) can't even elope cause we have no money for that. I had celebrant asking when we are putting deposit down and my fiance said "we need to ...
A. 15 April 2017: No, its not right. But then... If neither of you get to live life, then the relationship will go to the shitter in no time. Compromise. He goes away this time, then you get to go away next weekend.
Him going away for a weekend is not the same cos... (read in full...)
Can a relationship survive if there is no intellectual compatibility at all?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now, going on 8. It was really good in the beginning but now it feels like things changed, at least for me. He's one year younger than I am, and that didn't seem like a problem at first because I th...
A. 15 April 2017: No. This relationship can not survive. If you're thinking long term, as in marriage, this man is not for you. If you're just looking for someone to kill some time with, however, then this is the right boy. And I would use the word boy for him, not ... (read in full...)
How late is too late to start dating in the modern world?
Q. How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship. 25? 30? 35? I mean, to really just START! Never been on a date before, and so on and so on. This could all be due to many combination of reasons: ...
A. 12 April 2017: Oh yes, if you've never been on a date before in your life by 30, you are too late. So if someone asks you out, you will just have to say NO. Because it's too late. And if you meet someone nice, and get tempted to asking them out... better not!
... (read in full...)
My Gf is 14 and I'm 17. Once I turn 18 and she turns 15 will it still be ok to date her? Can't find an answer anywhere
Q. Hello, I am currently in a relationship with an absolutely amazing girl for 4 months and we are going to the same school, and we live in Washington state but at the end of this school year she has to move to the other side of this same state but I ...
A. 12 April 2017: *If 16 is the age of concent in your state, then I correct my answer to this. You can not have sex with her until she is 16. But you can date her all you want. ... (read in full...)
My Gf is 14 and I'm 17. Once I turn 18 and she turns 15 will it still be ok to date her? Can't find an answer anywhere
Q. Hello, I am currently in a relationship with an absolutely amazing girl for 4 months and we are going to the same school, and we live in Washington state but at the end of this school year she has to move to the other side of this same state but I ...
A. 12 April 2017: Yes, of course you can still date her. But just like now, you can not have sex with her as you are both under age, and even when you turn of age at 18, you still can not have sex with her as she is not yet of age. So you will have to wait with going ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a man to have a friend with benefits he isn't attracted to?
Q. I met a fellow on a dating site a few months ago with the mutually-agreed-on purpose of only having sex. Since then, we've continued to hook up, but it's been happening less and less - from several times a week to once every 1-2 weeks - although he ...
A. 12 April 2017: Yes, to your head line question. That is possible. But I think in this case you need to drop the insecurity-angle. What is really going on is that he just isn't that interested, for whatever reason. Maybe precisely because it is non strings ... (read in full...)
When is it ok to have "the talk" or expect to be exclusive ?
Q. Hi all .. How soon is too soon to expect a guy to commit when it's a long distance relationship? You know us women are always being told not to "scare" me away by putting too much pressure on them. I've been dating a man long distance since N...
A. 12 April 2017: " I'm assuming he wouldn't do that if he was with one of them."
Hah! You can't just go around assuming this, because I know of a zillion guys who would do just that. Have one girl in their arms while texting another. Talk is cheap. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend slept with married woman before we dated
Q. I found out through old messages that my bf slept with a married woman before. It bothers me because I believe marriage is sacred. Also I never would have thought that my bf would do something like that. But in the messages he told his friend that ...
A. 11 April 2017: Actually.... As hard as it may be, I think you need to follow your gut instinct about this one. You are absolutely correct, this speaks of his moral standing and of what he is capable of doing. He does not value marriage or hold it sacred. Nor does ... (read in full...)
15 yr old Daughter completely cut me out of her life without even a hint why.
Q. Need some advice from the aunts, I hate these problems that you have to try and squeeze into a box, cause there's so much more to it, but I couldn't possibly address it in its entirety but leaving anything out u may not get the whole gist of it, so ...
A. 11 April 2017: You wanna know why your daughter has written you off? You wrote us a lengthy explanation yourself. Because you are unstable. That's why she wrote you off. You are trying to excuse your behavior as if you were a child, and you have been treating your ... (read in full...)
What do women look for in a man for a boyfriend?
Q. What do women really look for in a man for a boyfriend?...
A. 11 April 2017: It varies. Some wait for feelings. Some want a man who is their best friend. Some want to have fun. Some have an entire check-list. ... (read in full...)
Online guy just vanished into thin air! How do I get over this when there's been no closure?
Q. I am on this site where I post my poems and stories on. Back during the last week in October of 2016 I started talking to this guy through PM's. After a few weeks talking he confess to liking me. That was fine, I told him I didn't feel the same and ...
A. 11 April 2017: You said he lied about being single. So my guess? He got busted by dearest girlfriend and forced to end conversation (because flirting with you and asking you to be his gf is cheating), and to delete his account unless he wants to get dumped. And he ... (read in full...)
How to love my husband like I used to?
Q. I'm 22 married and I need help. I recently had our first baby 5 weeks ago. Me and my husband were always best Friends never fought that much and always cared about each others feelings . Lately with tour new baby we are tired and can be snappy at ...
A. 10 April 2017: Woman. Life isn't a Disney movie, and shit happens. Take responsibility for your part in the play. You weren't getting engaged without consent, you weren't getting married without saying yes. YOU ACEPTED these events the way they happened, they were ... (read in full...)
Why show the picture, to show me she looked like that porn star?
Q. Why would my guy show me a picture of a porn star and say, "before I knew you, a woman who looked exactly like this asked me out" ? Is he trying to make me feel insecure or point out that, "hey look I can get a woman sexier than you" ? What's hi...
A. 10 April 2017: My guess is he showed it to you in order to increase his "value" in your eyes. Many men find it GREAT when other men stare at their woman, because it makes them feel proud that they have what other men can only dream about. I know this because I've ... (read in full...)
I'm concerned about my sister's alarming weight gain. How do I gently let her know that I'm worried for her health?
Q. Dear aunts. I'm after some advice because I'm seriously concerned about my sister. She met a guy two years ago and seems to be in a happy relationship but she has put on so much wait she is unrecognisable and seems unwell. I'm really glad she'...
A. 10 April 2017: I actually don't think you should say anything. She is not blind, she knows how she looks. And if as you say, she's even been told by her own doctor that her rash is due to her being overweight, then SHE KNOWS SHE IS OVERWEIGHT. It's unnecessary and ... (read in full...)
How should I start the conversation with the baby's father?
Q. The baby's father and I only knew each other 3 months prior to me getting pregnant. I am currently 29 weeks. He was 100% aware of the possiblity of me getting pregnant and we had even talked about it. He had said he wanted to have a kid with me ...
A. 10 April 2017: You don't want child support? Are you out of your mind? He willingly and openly wanted to have a child with you, did his part, and now a child is on the way. Him changing his mind after the deed is done does not mean he gets to pretend he isn't ... (read in full...)
He says his HIV is undetectable and he's on medication. Is it ok to sleep with him?
Q. So I've met this guy who is HIV undetectable and he says it's safe to have unprotected sex cause the hiv is not transmitable cause of medication. I don't really know much about undetectable HIV can I get some info...
A. 10 April 2017: Get informed, but do use condoms. HIV is a very serious illness, and you do not want to risk anything when it comes to your own health. Always use condoms when with a new sexual partner, until both parts have been tested and are clean and you are in ... (read in full...)
My car broke down but my boyfriend didn't believe me. Did I do anything wrong?
Q. Hi all, please I need an advice. I'm so confused and don't know what to do anymore. So I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, we've always argued. I wish he was more affectionate, flirty and playful like me but he's not he's so serious ...
A. 10 April 2017: This guy is a dick. Do not take him back, and stop entering relationships with people who are not good to you. You can not hope that a man will change for you. People do not change. Ever.... (read in full...)
I'm a teen and I'm feeling insecure about the size of my penis. Am I normal, in size?
Q. Hey guys. I'm 15. First question - is my dick size good. It's around 6.7-6.8in. or so in length fully erect. I'm that's a good size, yet I still constantly feel like it's small. It could be the girth. I have a problem with. I don't really have a ...
A. 10 April 2017: You are normal. And its normal for teen boys to worry about this also.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend likes to ejaculate on my boobs and face and he finds this "adorable". Is this normal guy behavior?
Q. Ok I need some other perspectives on this. My boyfriend is just my second sexual partner, so I'm not sure what to make of this. He's also 11 years older and way more experienced. Anyway, he's really good in bed compared to my first boyfriend. He ...
A. 10 April 2017: Do you not like it? Then ask him to stop. It is important that you voice your opinion in bed, and not lower yourself to be some "mattress". This is YOU degrading yourself, if doing so. It's not degrading for him to do whatever to you, as long as YOU ... (read in full...)
When is it ok to have "the talk" or expect to be exclusive ?
Q. Hi all .. How soon is too soon to expect a guy to commit when it's a long distance relationship? You know us women are always being told not to "scare" me away by putting too much pressure on them. I've been dating a man long distance since N...
A. 8 April 2017: After so many months and so many dates, if he still doesn't know where he stands with you, it means he'd not really that interested. It's not at all "too soon" to have decided, unless you're on the fence because you're juggling your options and ... (read in full...)
My fiance, my toddler, my crush and my life... I am looking for advice!
Q. Myself and my fiancé have been together for over ten years. To start off with things were great, I felt like everything was perfect and he was amazing and always looked out for me. He'd help if I struggled with anything we would share the load for ...
A. 8 April 2017: Share away, that's why we're here!
There's nothing really in the way for you to just go ahead with the planning and finding out the costs of what you want, wedding-wise. And then just inform him of the date and cost and agree to save up so and s... (read in full...)
What should I tell her? I don't want to meet all her family and friends just yet
Q. Girlfriend already wants me to meet all her family members (uncles, aunts, cousins, grand parents, etc)? We're dating for only 3 months and she wants me to drive 150 miles to a small town with her to meet the rest of her family. I don't want to go...
A. 7 April 2017: So, if I've done the math right, that would be about a three hour long drive?
You've dated 3 months already. If you're not interested in her enough by this stage, that you can't be bothered to drive for three hours, and don't want to meet her fami... (read in full...)
My Bf is annoying me with his alarm setting each day. How can I get him to stop this?
Q. my bf drives me crazy with his alarms in the morning - he sets them 40 minutes before i wake up for work on two different devices - each device goes off once every minute for forty minutes so 80 annoying alarms!!! i wake up in a bad mood as i have...
A. 7 April 2017: Stop sleeping over. Stop having him sleep over. If he refuses to change it then I'd take that as him not being a very considerate person, and being incredibly selfish, to be honest. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who always ... (read in full...)
My fiance, my toddler, my crush and my life... I am looking for advice!
Q. Myself and my fiancé have been together for over ten years. To start off with things were great, I felt like everything was perfect and he was amazing and always looked out for me. He'd help if I struggled with anything we would share the load for ...
A. 7 April 2017: "Do I need the attention from a man so bad that I'm out to seek it from whatever attention I can get"
Yes, this exactly. So his best friend likes you. Great! But that doesn't mean you should jump ship and break up a marriage and get romantic... (read in full...)
Do I stand a chance of things working out for us?
Q. Dear agony aunts and uncles, Can you give me some advice? I'd appreciate any thoughts on this. I have been seeing a great girl for about 4 months. She and I have had a passionate and very lovely time together, I would say we were a great team i...
A. 6 April 2017: How old is she? This behavior sounds more like a whimsical 18-24 year old, than a mature woman. If she's the same age as you, at least above 30, then I think her not having had a long term relationship above two months yet, is a huge red light. ... (read in full...)
Should I stay? Am I ready to move on? Please help me
Q. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for about a year and three months, I can honestly say I am so in love with him it's hard because he is 5 hours away because he is in the navy. He is from where I live, since he came into my life he because so ...
A. 5 April 2017: Love isn't enough. For a relationship to be a good one, there needs to be more. ... (read in full...)
I still think of my ex all the time. Does that suggest that I should break up with the new lady, who I am currently dating?
Q. Am seeing some one new, for the last couple months, so my question is, what does it mean when I say, ''I wish my ex would of treated me this good''. Does it mean I should break up with the new one? I still think of my ex all the time, over a year ...
A. 5 April 2017: Yes, you're still not over your ex. But that doesn't mean you should go back to her, or that you should end your current relationship.
You entered this new relationship for your sake and because of the feelings and attraction you have towards ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that he's the one that got away?
Q. I been having thoughts that i want my ex boyfriend back, it is impossible because he's already engaged for a year now. What makes it even weirder is that we broke up 4 years ago. So i was dating with my ex for couple of months, we broke up because i ...
A. 5 April 2017: Based on your track record, you are a woman who always finds that the grass is greener on the other side.
No, if you were with your ex you most likely would not have been engaged. You would have had an on and off relationship and just hurt eac... (read in full...)
The sex was only mediocre and I want it to be on fire!
Q. I feel despondent. The girl Im madly in love with, we were intimate. As first times go, it was a learning curve for me because I had to find this person that's probably always there within me - and bring her to life. I felt so like I disappoin...
A. 5 April 2017: She is right, you will learn to please one another. ... (read in full...)
I want to stop comparing my life with others. How do I learn how to slow down?
Q. How do I learn how to slow down? I have been with my partner for a long while and we want marriage. But all of my friends are getting married left right and centre and I can't help but want everything at the same time as them and I put all this pre...
A. 3 April 2017: You've been with your partner for a long while and you want to get married. I don't see this as rushing anything at all, I see it more like you getting frustrated because your partner is dragging his feet. You wanted to be married yesterday, right? ... (read in full...)
Married man says he's in a loveless marriage and likes me insanely but won't get in touch with me till I contact him
Q. Good day dear aunts and uncles. I met a charming man on a conference I was heading. We exchanged few words and couldn't stop looking at each other. 2 months later I bumped into him on another business venture and we felt the connection. Then we ...
A. 3 April 2017: Of course everyone at work loves him, they see him only in a professional situation. It's entirely different. Besides, the most manipulative and abusive people are the most charming ones, so that doesn't really mean anything. ... (read in full...)
Married man says he's in a loveless marriage and likes me insanely but won't get in touch with me till I contact him
Q. Good day dear aunts and uncles. I met a charming man on a conference I was heading. We exchanged few words and couldn't stop looking at each other. 2 months later I bumped into him on another business venture and we felt the connection. Then we ...
A. 3 April 2017: This married man is full of shit. How do you know they are not a real couple/marriage is loveless? I bet you 100% that his wife doesn't realize she's in a loveless marriage/not real couple...!
Why does he not divorce? Oh, the kid, of course, ... (read in full...)
Extremely close to my female best friend, slept together once... Now she's falling for me even though we agreed not to have "those" feelings
Q. I have this female best friend. We ar very close so close we know everything obout eachother ther is no secrets between us we tell eachother things no one else knows. We hang out every chance we get. We are so close that we have even slept together ...
A. 3 April 2017: Sorry dude, but you are her stopped being friends when you had sex. It became something more from that moment on. Time to face it. You can not go back to just being friends, so better make up your mind about what you want with her. Cut the ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
