| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Why does my wife lie about her sexual past? I overheard a convo she had with a friend. Should I tell her?
Q. I have been married for many years my wife had a couple of sex partners before we met. She always said that when she was with the them that they didn't have a lot of sex which would not have bothered me if she did. My problem came up as we talked ...
A. 2 May 2017: Ah, great to hear you know that being big can be a problem rather than something great. But as I said before, with so many men having insecurities around their penis, penis envy, and wishing they were bigger just because they imagine it is better, ... (read in full...)
How would men feel if they joked about something sexual and their partner said yes?
Q. Before I start, let me just say, I am not a woman of the world. I didn't lose my virginity until my wedding night, aged 24. Me and my husband have been married 12 years now and are still very much in love. The problem is our sex life. It is very ...
A. 30 April 2017: Why would he think you are loose? You were a virgin until you married him, that's the opposite of loose. What exactly do you define as "loose" yourself?
You mean you think only slutty women have a sexual appetite? Do you know, that this way of t... (read in full...)
Why does my ex keep tabs on who I date? What can I do?
Q. It’s ok if he moves on and is in a relationship but its not ok for me to do it?. I’m not saying I let him get involved in my life but my question is what can i do for him to stop/protect myself. (I actually don't let him get involved. He finds out ...
A. 30 April 2017: Write down all of the episodes. Write down dates if you can remember. Write it all down. Keep all texts and e-mails on other contact he has made with you. Print it out.
Then go to the police and file for a restraining order. This man is stalking... (read in full...)
Why does my wife lie about her sexual past? I overheard a convo she had with a friend. Should I tell her?
Q. I have been married for many years my wife had a couple of sex partners before we met. She always said that when she was with the them that they didn't have a lot of sex which would not have bothered me if she did. My problem came up as we talked ...
A. 30 April 2017: She lies to not hurt your feelings, because she knows men care way too much about penis size. Women on the other hand, genuinely do not care!!!! As long as it feels good, we're good. Size does not matter to us. But men seem to not want to hear this, ... (read in full...)
He went to a strip club, I went to see male dancers and an "eye for an eye" isn't feeling good right now
Q. I feel like the back story is needed (see below). But, my question is how do I let go of the fact my boyfriend went to a strip club TWO nights in a row while on business? I eneded up going to a male strip club for a girls night recently, now I'm ...
A. 29 April 2017: And, in case you haven't realize it yet: when you enter a relationship based on trust, respect and friendship, you get the same in return. You get trust, respect and friendship. In such a relationship, a healthy relationship, your boyfriend would ... (read in full...)
He went to a strip club, I went to see male dancers and an "eye for an eye" isn't feeling good right now
Q. I feel like the back story is needed (see below). But, my question is how do I let go of the fact my boyfriend went to a strip club TWO nights in a row while on business? I eneded up going to a male strip club for a girls night recently, now I'm ...
A. 29 April 2017: So you don't trust him, think he should read your mind, and he's not allowed any privacy, so you just go through his phone on a weekly/daily basis. What a healthy relationship!
I think you need to be told straight that this is unaccept... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a fetish for my work clothes, is that weird?
Q. My boyfriend has a fetish for my work clothes, is that weird? I work in an office and wear skirts and blouses on a daily basis. When I first started dating him he said he loved what I was wearing but recently it seems to have got even more intens...
A. 29 April 2017: Does it bother you? Then tell him to stop, or possibly pay for new blouses.
Does it not bother you? Then keep it up.
Who on earth gives two flying farts if it is considered normal or not. If it works for you, it works. You know, you don't ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend promised to pay for salon visit after being told the price then backed out but is willing to spend $$ on his niece??
Q. Last week, I told my boyfriend I'm going to get my hair colored for the first time. I showed him photos to get his opinion. After I settled on a style, he said he wanted to treat me to get my hair done. I told him he didn't have to do that and it ...
A. 27 April 2017: I don't think you're wrong to feel hurt by this. Sure, a gift to a kid is different, but you're not saying he should take the money for the gift and use it on you! That's not what bothers you, so don't feel petty. What bothers you is that is clearly ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men to have sex when women are having their periods?
Q. I'm meeting up with my bf next month who stays in another city. The problem is that the date when I will be going, I might be on my periods. I've told him that already to which he has said that he's fine with it. What can this possibly mean? Is he ...
A. 27 April 2017: It's normal for men to not care of you are on your period. It feels just as good to them anyways, so they don't mind. Only immature men are scared of it. It's not twisted sex, it's a normal body function and normal men accept this. ... (read in full...)
Is it too late to change careers?
Q. Not sure if this is the usual question on here but I would love advice. I work in finance, managing retirement funds. I have been in the industry for over 10 years and have been good at it. Lately I have felt incapable of making decisions follow...
A. 27 April 2017: It's not too late to change careers. Talk about this with your wife. How old are the children, and what are childcare options where you live? She can go to work. I think in this day and age, having a stay at home wife is a waste of resources and a ... (read in full...)
Am I cheating on my boyfriend? ? Hope not.
Q. Am I cheating on my boyfriend!! I downloaded tinder to relook at my old profile which he knew about and I used it for a couple of days and got chatting to one Man for a while. Little thing or anything but i dont any feeling toward him ! But ...
A. 27 April 2017: You've not cheated, but you have entered the gray area and you yourself don't approve of this behavior. So you should stop. Decide if you want to be with your boyfriend or not, before you start to seek affection and attention elsewhere. ... (read in full...)
My wife's co-worker gifted her diamond jewellery. Would "just friends" do this?
Q. My wife recently received a "HW" diamond ankle bracelet and matching toe rings (2) from a fellow worker who she swears is just a good friend. They go out of town on business trips two or three times a month staying for at lest 2 nights each ...
A. 27 April 2017: You know what OP? I think if it works for you, and you and your wife are both happy with this arrangement, and you both want to stay married, then this might be just what your marriage needs. I mean if sex is the only problem here, you don't want it ... (read in full...)
Why do many men prefer a tight vagina? Or do they? 2
Q. Why do many men find a tight vagina so appealing? I was a late bloomer and lost my virginity to my current husband when I was in my 40's. I was married previously to a man who suffered erectile difficulties and was never able to have intercourse...
A. 26 April 2017: Oh my... That's really a nasty thing for your husband to say. That women are "broken in"??? Sheeezes, we aren't trained horses, you know! What an incredible nasty way to speak of women. I sincerely hope this isn't how he speaks of women typically, ... (read in full...)
Are the things we find attractive different for men and women?
Q. I can appreciate attractive people but find that in order to get aroused by a man or turned on , I need to know him and feel an attraction . A man simply looking physically attractive is not enough to turn me on. Therefore pictures of random naked ...
A. 25 April 2017: You can't have talked to many men at all, if you have to ask this question... Because they have all told me the exact same as you do. No, men and women are the exact same in this respect. We all do get turned on by different things. For some women, ... (read in full...)
Dealing with my Boyfriend's Existential Crisis
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost four years now. It is a delicate relationship, as he has never been with any other woman sexually or as seriously as he has been with me. About a year and a half ago, he broke up with me. It was ...
A. 25 April 2017: "He doesn't know what makes him happy, he doesn't know what his purpose is, he doesn't feel like he has done anything with his life"
Well, if he is the same age as you, no wonder he feels this way. He's barely become an adult, he has barely l... (read in full...)
My g/f hasn't changed her status on FB yet does that mean we are not broken up?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for almost three years and engaged for 7 months. I wrongly accused her of having a 'thing' for her brother in law a few times which has led to us having a 'break' for a few weeks. We reconciled but it took some...
A. 25 April 2017: No, her facebook status does not mean there is hope. Just means she hasn't changed it yet. But she will. There is no such thing as a "break". You're either together, or you are not. You are not. Try to take away the good parts of this, at least you ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite?
Q. Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite? So, my girlfriend works as a cam girl on a website. I was aware of her occupation before we started dating. Since she was on that site, I thought there'd be no problem if I register as a member of that site too...
A. 24 April 2017: Unfair? Hahaha, oh my, what are we, 5? A relationship isn't about throwing a tantrum and arguing about what's fair, as if you were arguing about candy on a Friday when mom tells you only Saturdays....
Listen, relationship is about respect.... (read in full...)
Despite my scepticism, will I ever, in the future, be likely to have a close connection and a loving mutually satisfying relationship with a man?
Q. Info- 23/F/from the UK Ok so I'm gonna try and be as basic as I can with my question, so you don't have to read pages of rubbish lol I'm basically extremely skeptical that I'll EVER meet anybody in the future who I'll feel a close connection...
A. 24 April 2017: "I'm so frightened and upset that I'll have to settle for someone who I don't feel these feelings I feel for him for"
Who says you have to? You don't have to! No one cam force you to do this, at least not in your current country of residenc... (read in full...)
Do any men have this problem? I cannot orgasm from oral sex
Q. This has been bothering me for a fair few years. Even more so that my wife has tried to help. I have unfortunately never cum from a blowjob, ever. I think it bothers me so much because i really enjoy them. Its like listening to your favourite s...
A. 24 April 2017: I understand what you are hinting at. And I am sorry you had to experience that. I would recommend you face this negative experience, rather than surpress it. Report your brother. Cut the contact with him. Get into therapy. Memories do come back as ... (read in full...)
Is my relationship healthy?
Q. I am 20 and my boyfriend is 27. We got into a relationship pretty fast. I expressed how not having sex until marriage was important to me but after a month he talked me into it. We have went out a lot and he says things like this relationship...
A. 24 April 2017: You dont sound comfortable. And you dont sound like you are able to stand your ground with him. I dont see how you can blame him for talking you into something. Either you say no and you mean it, or you did not mean it. How long have you been ... (read in full...)
Birth control question--can't find the information I need on the internet
Q. I know this sounds like another dumb girl asking a birth control question but I can't find any relevant information on this. I've tried the pill. I've tried Nuva Ring. Hormonal birth control makes me gain weight and kills my sex drive. Plus the ...
A. 23 April 2017: Do you have a steady cycle? If so, then charting your ovulation would benefit you, but I do agree with other user here, don't get me wrong. You should use other contraception in addition. By him pulling out, or by using spermicide, you would ... (read in full...)
He seems irritated, miserable and annoyed. Could smoking weed be affecting his moods?
Q. I've just been on holiday with my partner and children and we've come home and argued. I don't know what to say to him and I hope you could give me some advice. The first two days away he was smiling and laughing but then the third day he sai...
A. 23 April 2017: He sounds like an addict. Treat him as one until you know more. This is classic withdrawal. going away on vacation he didn't get his "fix", did he? That's a sure way to make an addict grumpy and behave like he did. If he is in denial, then he ... (read in full...)
He watches porn of girls that are the age of our daughters! I can't help but be turned off!
Q. Have been getting serious with a man for some time now and he Is talking about future things . I recently was at his house and his computer is full of porn . I knew he watched porn but all the women were around 20 at oldest 25 . It honestly made me ...
A. 23 April 2017: Porn isn't made with older women, typically. You'd have to search a while and the pickings are slim. So for a porn user, it's quite normal to be watching people, or especially girls, of that age.
So in this case, it really isn't about him watc... (read in full...)
Do any men have this problem? I cannot orgasm from oral sex
Q. This has been bothering me for a fair few years. Even more so that my wife has tried to help. I have unfortunately never cum from a blowjob, ever. I think it bothers me so much because i really enjoy them. Its like listening to your favourite s...
A. 23 April 2017: I am not a man, but having had my fair share of boyfriends I can tell you, you are not alone. I've seen this with others. Why it is, I don't know, but as long as you enjoy a blowjob, then why would you need to orgasm from it? Enjoy the bj, then have ... (read in full...)
My wife's co-worker gifted her diamond jewellery. Would "just friends" do this?
Q. My wife recently received a "HW" diamond ankle bracelet and matching toe rings (2) from a fellow worker who she swears is just a good friend. They go out of town on business trips two or three times a month staying for at lest 2 nights each ...
A. 23 April 2017: Tough one. I would say follow your gut instincts on this one. They might only be friends, for now. But diamonds? They don't belong in a friendship, as far as I know. What did she herself think of this extravagant gift? And is he a colleague or a ... (read in full...)
He's going to prison for 10 years and I don't want to wait for him. Is that wrong?
Q. This is a really unique situation, I'm sure. So my fiance is going to be in prison for the next ten years. I've been with him 3 years. Is it bad for me to not want to wait for him?..I'm only in my mid 20s, and I don't want to put the rest of my ...
A. 22 April 2017: Don't feel guilty. You're not the one who committed a crime and got sent to prison. If he wanted to be with you for the next 10 years, then he shouldn't have broken the law, now should he? He's the one who is responsible for going away for 10 years. ... (read in full...)
We broke up and we're not a couple any more. Should I be concerned that he's recently had a tattoo of my name inked on his neck?
Q. I'm completely puzzled as to why but my ex boyfriend has just this week gone and got my name tattooed onto the back of his neck and I'm worried he now thinks we are back together after I have been talking to him about the reason I left him. We wer...
A. 22 April 2017: *tattooing your name... (read in full...)
We broke up and we're not a couple any more. Should I be concerned that he's recently had a tattoo of my name inked on his neck?
Q. I'm completely puzzled as to why but my ex boyfriend has just this week gone and got my name tattooed onto the back of his neck and I'm worried he now thinks we are back together after I have been talking to him about the reason I left him. We wer...
A. 22 April 2017: That is crazy. Red flag. It doesn't sound mentally stable. He only said lets talk about babies, in order to get you back, you do know that right? He knew ALL ALONG that this was important to you, and he had the time to tell you he would have babies ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to be an equal, not another child to take care of
Q. Does my bloke not have any respect for me or is he is just useless.....my bloke and I have been together 17 months he moved in 3months ago with me and my 10yrold son ...but even tho he is great with my son (he's disabled) but he's useless in every ...
A. 22 April 2017: PS. I had a boyfriend once who lived with me for a few months and he never took out the trash and he always only washed his clothes separate from mine etc. I cleaned, took out trash and did basically everything. He was smart and clever and all, but ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to be an equal, not another child to take care of
Q. Does my bloke not have any respect for me or is he is just useless.....my bloke and I have been together 17 months he moved in 3months ago with me and my 10yrold son ...but even tho he is great with my son (he's disabled) but he's useless in every ...
A. 22 April 2017: How can he do the exact opposite of what you ask?
Is he perhaps not on the bright side? I mean, no offense to him, but some people just aren't that smart and it takes them forever to learn something new or get it right. How about you write him a ma... (read in full...)
Birth control question--can't find the information I need on the internet
Q. I know this sounds like another dumb girl asking a birth control question but I can't find any relevant information on this. I've tried the pill. I've tried Nuva Ring. Hormonal birth control makes me gain weight and kills my sex drive. Plus the ...
A. 22 April 2017: Spermicide and pulling out should do the trick. Im surprised though, can't you find the statistics and information online?
You can talk to your doctor about this, they will know what is the best option for you. There are just so many factors ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to tell someone who has depression that you can't be there for then anymore if they don't want to help the self?
Q. Is it wrong to tell someone who has depression that you can't be there for then anymore if they don't want to help the self? My boyfriend has depression which is not diagnosed but I've had it previously and know he does now. I've done everything I ...
A. 21 April 2017: It's not wrong. It's the right thing to do. You can not help someone who does not help themselves. If you try to, you only end up being sucked down with them. And what good will that do anyone? The right thing to do in this situation is to back ... (read in full...)
I don't want to cheat but how can I recover from my infatuation?
Q. I'm a married woman with 2 children in my mid thirties, I've been in a long term relationship with my husband before we eventually got married (been together over 10 years). What I'm about to say is something I had never dared to share, please be...
A. 21 April 2017: Surely, you were at one point in the beginning also infatuated with your now husband. It's just been so long, you don't remember. Do you keep a journal? It could be helpful to read what you wrote about your husband when you first started dating, or ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I don't feel anything for him after losing my virginity to him?
Q. Hi I'm 17, soon to be 18, and a few weeks ago i lost my virginity. Me and this guy have known each other for some time over a year and have been good friends ever since. Although we've been just friends there's been this kind of sexual tension (for ...
A. 20 April 2017: You don't know yet if you have attached feelings. Just wait for him to get a girlfriend, or catch him flirting with another girl, or hear about him having sex with someone else. Only then will you know for sure. Right now, I say its natural that you ... (read in full...)
I'm attractive but never approached by men. Do other women have this problem?
Q. I am 22 and I am never approached by men. I live in America where men are notorious for approaching women. Yet, strangers tell me that I am beautiful/pretty. I talked to a guy and he assumed I had a bf, when I said no, he was in shock. He said I was ...
A. 20 April 2017: Its normal. Guys are really nervous to approach a very attractive girl. I've had the same problem. Not that I look like a model, but I have a very good figure and am described as a classic beauty. I discovered that if I went all out with hair, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has still kept nude pics of his ex despite being with me for 4 years and 2 kids together
Q. So I was trying to get photos off of my camera and save them to my external hard drive using my boyfriends computer. I Accidentally clicked on his porn folder (I don't care that he has porn saved to his computer) my eye was caught by a photo of...
A. 20 April 2017: So the computer didn't allow for deletion? That is very odd. Im glad you resolved it, though. Best of luck onward and hope you don't discover anything else like this in the future ;)... (read in full...)
When I try to talk to my girlfriend about her flaws it always turns into an argument
Q. Okay so i have a girlfriend and i love her to bits but sometimes she can doing very annoying things, but whenever i bring them up she acts like its a massive problem and it always turns into an argument....
A. 19 April 2017: .... This is such an obvious rookie mistake that someone who has never been in a relationship before always does: try to change the person they are with.
Stop trying! You can't change a person! Nor should you try to. Nor is it your job to. Nor ... (read in full...)
I stumbled across hidden videos in my girlfriends computer of her having sex with her ex
Q. I am engaged to my dream girl and our relationship is perfect. We've been together for 2 years now and We are the perfect couple... or so I thought.. Things changed when I found some things on her lap top. I needed to finish up a report but forgo...
A. 19 April 2017: Oh man. You just doomed your relationship. First you lied to your girlfriend about not having found the videos. Then you went and WATCHED them. One thing is she shouldn't have them in the first place. Fair enough. But you should not have looked at ... (read in full...)
We've been married a year and are in a rut! I need some advice
Q. Lately, our marriage has been on the rocks. We have been together for 5 years and we are days away from our 1 year wedding anniversary and there has been so much tension and hate lately. I feel like I can't do anything right. We had an argument not ...
A. 19 April 2017: Here is my advice to you:
Stop cooking every single day. Im being 100% for real now. Just because he works as a chef does not mean he should not, or would not, cook at home. I know several who work as chefs. They love to cook, which is why they... (read in full...)
Can a man look at hundreds of porn images and NOT be disappointed at his wife's imperfect body?
Q. Can men just look at hundreds of women hotter than their wives in porn each week and not feel disappointed that their wives don't look as good as the girls in porn. Even if the wives are fit , how does the husband help but not feel let down that she ...
A. 18 April 2017: It all bodes on perspective. Is the wife really worse looking than the porn stars? I think not. I think the man finds his wife more attractive than those women in porn. I think it would be a question worth answering whether or not it isn't the wife ... (read in full...)
He pressured me for sex, even started undressing me. But disappeared when I revealed my status as a virgin!
Q. I went for a few dates with a guy. He was very insitent about sex but everytime I refused him he was ok and still wanted more dates with me. He tried to get me at his place after our very first date and at our second too, but i refused. However we ...
A. 18 April 2017: So much time wasted on you? Ha! He didn't waste much time at all, my dear. He went on 4 dates with you, that is hardly anything, it's like the blink of an eye. And EACH AND EVERY TIME he tried to get you into his bed.
Talk is cheap, he never th... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I am 19 years old and I still hang out with my parents ?
Q. Hello, Well, i am 19 years old, i am studying in college, but still living with my parents. The thing is i don't hang out with my friends: i still don't drive and we live far away from the city, and there's no public transport nearby. So whene...
A. 18 April 2017: It's not weird. You enjoy their company, they enjoy yours, and you actually don't have much of a choice because you don't have easy access to other people.
I hang out with my mom too, as friends. I have even taken her with me to parties with my ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has still kept nude pics of his ex despite being with me for 4 years and 2 kids together
Q. So I was trying to get photos off of my camera and save them to my external hard drive using my boyfriends computer. I Accidentally clicked on his porn folder (I don't care that he has porn saved to his computer) my eye was caught by a photo of...
A. 18 April 2017: Oh and do clean the trash bin after deleting the pictures... Get rid of them properly. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has still kept nude pics of his ex despite being with me for 4 years and 2 kids together
Q. So I was trying to get photos off of my camera and save them to my external hard drive using my boyfriends computer. I Accidentally clicked on his porn folder (I don't care that he has porn saved to his computer) my eye was caught by a photo of...
A. 18 April 2017: Why do you think he kept them? Dont be naive. They were in his porn file, how much more obvious can it get?
Here is what you do: take a screenshot to save the evidence. Store it somewhere only you have access to (such as you Outlook or sky driv... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
