| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 2 January 2017: Fourth and fifth date now completed. The fifth date stretched out into a full weekend and I am happy to say I am no longer single :p
PS. Yes, I was the brave one to ask him how many more dates it would take to get him to be my boyfriend. You gott... (read in full...)
I'm in a FWB. Does his actions seem like he may like me more than sex?
Q. This is a question about FWB (friends with benefits) or a FB (f**k buddy) situation. There is a man that I have this type of relationship with. He confuses me because he is very affectionate with me around his friends, invites me to gatherings at ...
A. 23 December 2016: PDA is a cultural thing more than anything else, as far as I am aware. For example, take my Spanish neighbor. He's all hugs and kisses on the cheek when we meet, although I hardly know him, he's just my neighbor and I don't even remember his name. ... (read in full...)
I'm in a FWB. Does his actions seem like he may like me more than sex?
Q. This is a question about FWB (friends with benefits) or a FB (f**k buddy) situation. There is a man that I have this type of relationship with. He confuses me because he is very affectionate with me around his friends, invites me to gatherings at ...
A. 22 December 2016: I think it sounds like you have the perfect arrangement, unless you are uncomfortable with the PDA and meeting his friends. There is no rule to say that FWB should only meet in secret and never show signs of affection or be passionate. Such little ... (read in full...)
I can't take any more with this man
Q. Help me please iam getting emontion abused. i have lost nearly 9 stone but he calls me fatty.wobbly and he knows iam hurt by it but laughts and carrys on.does a day go by when he never done it. I do everything for him.he dont seem to be happy unless ...
A. 22 December 2016: Then you leave.
Your kids are not doing better just by you and him staying together. I am 100% he is emotionally abusing them as well. Abusers don't care if they abuse kids or adults. What he does to you he is also doing to them. If you leave, y... (read in full...)
I'm not going to stop seeing my LDR Bf because a friend doesn't like him. But how do I best handle the situation?
Q. I haven't been dating my boyfriend for very long. He treats me well, loves me and cares about me. We are long distance, so most of my friends have not met him. The thing is my best friend got offended by what he posted online because he has d...
A. 22 December 2016: If she wants to be offended, let her. So what if she does not come to the party. You can have a good time without her. There is no point in wasting time trying to please everyone and make everyone happy. What matters is that you are happy. ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 21 December 2016: Third date over now, and it was just as great :) He drove to my city after work and picked me up from my work and then we went to my place and took the dogs out for a walk (he has a dog as do I). The dogs went along just fine after the initial ... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 21 December 2016: Thank you so much for writing back to us. I am happy to continue answering.
Yes, my advice comes from personal experience. It always does. It's not what I've read in a book or anything, but things I have come to experience and choose as "right a... (read in full...)
How can I stop her spreading false rumours ? How can I get her to fess up and tell the truth?
Q. I had a friend who I used to be close to some years back. I used to babysit her children when she was in hospital free of charge and generally be helpful. As the years passed the friendship changed. I moved to a more distant area and she rarely ...
A. 21 December 2016: At first I felt sorry for you having such strange people causing drama in your life. But then as the plot thickens, I think you're being just as bad as your friend and maybe had this coming. Sorry to say so, but you're leaving a lot out of the ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's bisexual behaviour makes me want to call it quits
Q. Hi people! I'm seriously lost in a discussion with myself whether I accept it or not, but already when I'm doubting, I already know I don't... Anyhow. My girlfriend and her best friend are both bisexual and they have had a tight relationship as...
A. 20 December 2016: Oh and yes, of course this has nothing to do with her being bisexual. A cheat is a cheat, sexuality has nothing to do with it.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's bisexual behaviour makes me want to call it quits
Q. Hi people! I'm seriously lost in a discussion with myself whether I accept it or not, but already when I'm doubting, I already know I don't... Anyhow. My girlfriend and her best friend are both bisexual and they have had a tight relationship as...
A. 20 December 2016: Best friend and her acting as if they're in a relationship? Well, maybe they are.
I don't see why you should try to not be jealous, anyone would be in your shoes. We tend to NOT like being cheated on, and just because she chooses to do it right... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 20 December 2016: I feel like I have to stand up for marriage a bit here. It's not about LOVE! So many people have this misconception, I can see from the answers you receive.
To marry someone is not a statement of love. To marry someone is wanting to be married,... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to raise a glass at the graveside?
Q. I am involved in a bit if an argument. A mutual family friend passed away aged 49 from breast cancer. On her 50th birthday some of the family (not her family) and friends took some champagne and celebrated her birthday around her grave. The took ...
A. 19 December 2016: Thank god its a free country where people are allow to do things even if one person would disagree... Thats all I can think! ... (read in full...)
Are FWB supposed to be this attached?
Q. We didn't have sex. We cuddled and made out. No hj or bj, no touching of my bottom private either. He was being extremely sweet (interlock fingers, kissing forehead, cheeks, palm, etc) but I dump that as an act of fwb. I didn't text him the fol...
A. 19 December 2016: He's clingy, unsure for what reason. Maybe he wants to have sex, or he just wants to be close again, or he has feelings for you. Either way he sounds needy and clingy. It might just be his nature. ... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 19 December 2016: I say marry her.
Btw you mean "unsure" not "insecure".
Here are the reasons why you should marry her:
1. After 3 years together, you still want to be with her. You haven't been able to piss her off yet, and she hasn't pissed you off ye... (read in full...)
I want respect. I packed up and left him after he disregarded our agreement - but how can I demonstrate or convince that I'm not trying to be controlling?
Q. Before I got with my boyfriend I knew he took drugs; weed and cocaine. I really don't like it so when we first started dating I asked how we would work in a relationship, how would we ever live together as I don't want it around me. He assured ...
A. 19 December 2016: You can never make someone see things your way, you can't force peoples thoughts to change.
But it's not controlling of you. You stated you don't want it around you, and then it was up to him to break that agreement. So you leave. Good for you.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not stop going on about an instagram post!
Q. I've completely lost the plot with my boyfriend but I'm not sure if I overreacted. I'm trying really hard to think of things from his point of view but it's difficult. My friend's daughter commented on one of my photos on Instagram that h...
A. 19 December 2016: Break up with him, this is absolutely ridiculous. And no, you can't make him stop, you have tried for 6 months already and he's only escalating. My guess is also that this isn't about this guy liking you, this is about your boyfriend being a ... (read in full...)
We disagree about matter of religion! Any advice?
Q. Hi everyone! I thought it might be a good idea to hear some impartial opinions on an issue I have been dealing with in my relationship. So my boyfriend and I are both Christian, though I only decided to be baptized when i was 14 while he ...
A. 19 December 2016: Religion can be so many things, and for some people, like you, it is a personal matter than one keeps to one self. But to your boyfriend, it is more than just a personal belief, it is a way of life. It is his culture. It is how family life is run, ... (read in full...)
Should I write my bus driver crush a Christmas card?
Q. well I seen the bus driver I have a crush on who I think is about 36, I am 33. he is always shy but extra nice towards me and talks very low and mild mannered….so as I am getting on the bus today, he just cheeses and grins with all 32 teeth and says ...
A. 19 December 2016: *don't put him on the spot
lol, autocorrect is messing up my posts lately... Hope you get what I mean!... (read in full...)
Should I write my bus driver crush a Christmas card?
Q. well I seen the bus driver I have a crush on who I think is about 36, I am 33. he is always shy but extra nice towards me and talks very low and mild mannered….so as I am getting on the bus today, he just cheeses and grins with all 32 teeth and says ...
A. 19 December 2016: I think it's already obvious you both want more, unless he's just an odd duck who is extremely nice and charming. Which could be, they're just rare.
Im just saying this because I work in a profession where I also meet and greet a lot of people e... (read in full...)
Four dates and now we're about to be away from each other for 20 days. How should I handle this extended break from her?
Q. I've been on four dates with a girl I met on tinder over the last two weeks who is starting to really grow on me and I feel butterfly's in my stomach whenever we hang out together. I feel like we've taken things slow and that's super OK with me....
A. 18 December 2016: I think that if she makes you feel clingy and needy, she's not the one for you. You should be with someone who WANTS the texts you send, who are happy to read them and to reply back, and who is just as crazy about you as you are about her.
If th... (read in full...)
I really hate my name
Q. My birth name is Sarah, and it makes me sick. This is a trivial problem compared to some of the things people are dealing with, but I REALLY hate the name. I'm not a kid going through a phase. Ever since I can remember, I have always resented ...
A. 18 December 2016: Legally change it. You can do that. And then work on why you are so angry. How can you release that anger and use your mind for something useful, rather than destructive?... (read in full...)
Have I completely disrespected my boyfriend, when I had no intention of doing that?
Q. I went out on an unexpected night out with a work friend on Friday. We thought we'd just get a bite to eat and a few drinks after work but we ended up having one too many and never got home until 2:30am. We had dinner and went to a few bars. ...
A. 18 December 2016: Look, you weren't chatting him up, he was just old and was flattered and then didn't realize himself the difference between friendly and flirting. He misread the situation and when you started to talk about your boyfriend he felt rejected. And when ... (read in full...)
Do I give him a chance to show he's not like that, once we have our own place, or leave?
Q. MOD NOTE: your update is emphatic that the name you chose for your account - KrisTaylor - is NOT your real name . .... . ..... . ...... . ....... Hello all, I've recently hit a rough patch with my new husband and need some advice. My hu...
A. 18 December 2016: Tell him then, that you are so scared of him and his anger that you are considering not moving in with him, and starting a family is out of the question unless he can show he is controlled and can stay calm in an argument.
Then if he cant, yo... (read in full...)
I feel put off by the way he lost his virginity!
Q. I just found out my boyfriend lost his virginity to a prostitute, it wasnt on a lads holiday or anything he did it to lose his virginity. Is it wrong that i feel put off by this? ...
A. 18 December 2016: You still don't get it?
Im not talking dangerous jobs, Im talking consent to sex. Do explain how deep sea fishing is related. ... (read in full...)
I feel put off by the way he lost his virginity!
Q. I just found out my boyfriend lost his virginity to a prostitute, it wasnt on a lads holiday or anything he did it to lose his virginity. Is it wrong that i feel put off by this? ...
A. 18 December 2016: Oh, sorry, I realize now that I read your post wrong, but I think it was a reasonable mistake for me to assume you meant that male person in your story was the "prostitute" since he was the one sleeping around.
To set the record straight... (read in full...)
I feel put off by the way he lost his virginity!
Q. I just found out my boyfriend lost his virginity to a prostitute, it wasnt on a lads holiday or anything he did it to lose his virginity. Is it wrong that i feel put off by this? ...
A. 18 December 2016: " Those girls were no better."
Yes, they were better. Because they weren't trading another human like a commodity and paying for sex.
I think you are confusing consensual sex with sex as a service being paid to perform. That's not consensual s... (read in full...)
Is it okay to schedule a family picture session during a friend’s wedding weekend? We are paying our own way!
Q. Sorry this question isn't really dating related...but I used to come here years ago before I got married and couldn't think of any other advice columns. I will keep it short. Wedding etiquette... we're going to be in Florida late winter for a fri...
A. 18 December 2016: Unless there is a full program for the entire weekend with NO time set aside for personal time, then I don't see how it could be improper. Don't do it when there is something on the program, such as dinner, or another event that you are expected to ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 17 December 2016: So you guys wanted to know how it went? It was amazing. Im falling head over heels here. First he comes to pick me up and just takes my arm as we walk to the car (yes, he went out of his car not just sitting in it while waiting for me..) and opens ... (read in full...)
I feel put off by the way he lost his virginity!
Q. I just found out my boyfriend lost his virginity to a prostitute, it wasnt on a lads holiday or anything he did it to lose his virginity. Is it wrong that i feel put off by this? ...
A. 16 December 2016: Male anon, what a load of crap. Women/girls aren't mind readers, we never get interested in a man based on his "number". It's not like he has it written on his forehead, in which case I think you'd see that most people tend to run away from those ... (read in full...)
My husband says I am controlling and that everything has to be my way
Q. My husbands company decided not to have a Xmas party this year. Which we were both very happy about. Then today they decided 6 days from now it would be a good idea to have a small party with just the office people. I simply asked my husband if we ...
A. 16 December 2016: You're not out of line in not wanting to go, but you did talk negatively of a party and his co-workers, and he probably felt like you cornered him and then became defensive. When people get cornered this is often how they behave.
Next time, ju... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 16 December 2016: This is the dress I had in mind, if links work here... It's dusty pink, looks darker pink in the picture than in real life.
http://i.0oo.se/20/gradina-skjortklanning.jpg ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 15 December 2016: *bring ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 15 December 2016: Thanks all! And yes, Tisha, I think that is exactly what I will do. And I ended up texting him and asked what to wear, haha! He said he would wear a shirt and tie, so Im definitely going with the cute dress. And will being my jewelry to bring it up ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 15 December 2016: Haha, now Im even more unsure. I talked to a friend and she said to just wear pants and a nice top. The church is liberal/open to all, so dont think they have any restrictions on what to wear. But I did originally want to wear the cute dress and ... (read in full...)
Do I give him a chance to show he's not like that, once we have our own place, or leave?
Q. MOD NOTE: your update is emphatic that the name you chose for your account - KrisTaylor - is NOT your real name . .... . ..... . ...... . ....... Hello all, I've recently hit a rough patch with my new husband and need some advice. My hu...
A. 15 December 2016: You need to talk to him about this. He should apologize to his family for his behavior.
I think this is a pattern he's been in since he was little and lived with his family. Coming back has made him act the way he did before. It's hard to break... (read in full...)
I feel put off by the way he lost his virginity!
Q. I just found out my boyfriend lost his virginity to a prostitute, it wasnt on a lads holiday or anything he did it to lose his virginity. Is it wrong that i feel put off by this? ...
A. 15 December 2016: Not, not at all. It'd put me off too. This is why when guys come to this site ans ask about going to a prostitute to lose their virginity, we advice them not to do it. Because it ISN'T seen as a good thing in the eyes of a woman. It's a big turn ... (read in full...)
How can I know if I'll be open to a boyfriend being sexually polygamous?
Q. I don't have a BF right now, and I have actually never had a boyfriend before. However, I realized that there are many men out there that cheat, not because they don't love their GF enough, (or so I think), but because they just love to have variety ...
A. 15 December 2016: You're speaking out of lack of experience. So that's why you have listened to a lot of things and believe them because you don't know any better for lack of personal experience.
But this is just bullshit. No, men don't cheat more than women, a... (read in full...)
Do I choose now or later ?
Q. I have a bit of a complicated love life. You wait a long time for 1 to come along and then 2 come along . Man A is a very distant friend whos more of a facebook friend ( we have met ) he holds hands and kisses in public and the regular stuff couples ...
A. 15 December 2016: You need to decide not, because you are at the point where you are stringing these men on. Guy A sounds like a dead weight, to be honest, I don't care for him at all. People who can't stick to plans are just being rude. It's like flipping the finger ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wont have sex because he is anxious about unwanted pregnancies
Q. Hey there! So Ive been with my boyfriend for a year(to keep people anonymous we can call him bob) and I wasn't a virgin when I met him, but he was when we started dating. We've had sex more than a few times but he admitted to me some months ago...
A. 15 December 2016: You know what, I've gone through the exact same thing, except we were older than you. I was 25 and he was 24, but he was a virgin too when we became a couple, and I wasn't. At the time I was going on Isotretinoin, which can cause serious harm to a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend bought me a chastity belt and expects me to wear it
Q. I have been with my bf for 6 months now. last week we were out, i was sitting at this table and a bloke came over and we were just chatting but my bf was like super mad and he hates me to chat to any guy. He is such a control freek that way. but i ...
A. 12 December 2016: *Shepherd, of course, not herd.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend bought me a chastity belt and expects me to wear it
Q. I have been with my bf for 6 months now. last week we were out, i was sitting at this table and a bloke came over and we were just chatting but my bf was like super mad and he hates me to chat to any guy. He is such a control freek that way. but i ...
A. 12 December 2016: Girl, really. Im going to tell you what you don't want to hear. He is controlling, and it will get worse. This is not a healthy or normal man. His behaviour is scary. It might not be scaring you yet, because he has "so many good qualities" etc. But ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this? I'm straight but still confused about my sexuality.
Q. I'm a 25yr old women and I'm attracted towards androgynous/tomboy women. But I'm straight. 2 weeks before While I was at train station I saw this lady with sharp boyish personality and I went on noticing her continuously, she was attractive and f...
A. 12 December 2016: We humans just love to put labels on things. The easy truth is that we are attracted to some people, not all. You are straight, you say, but you are not attracted to ALL MEN, no matter age, appearance, health etc. You aren't. So then, you aren't ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my new boyfriend what happened to me?
Q. How do you tell your friend now boyfriend you was put in a bad position on a date and dont trust new men around you or talking to you? I had a really bad experience not that long ago and only told 1 person but i dont want to bug them with my probl...
A. 12 December 2016: You can tell him, eventually. It sounds like maybe you should wait a bit though, you seem unsure. And, it's a brand new relationship, you do run the risk of ruining a good start by coming forth with heavy problems. Then again I fully understand the ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
