| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I did not choose the dress my boyfriend loved. Did I make a mistake?
Q. Hi. I took my boyfriend shopping. He is one of the rare guys who enjoys shopping with his girlfriend. He likes to help me find clothes and watches me as I try them on and always gives me his honest opinion. Yesterday we were out shopping...
A. 11 June 2017: I have to second Cindy here, as a European who has seen weddings in several European countries too, I have to say that black is not worn at weddings. It is seen as highly inappropriate. Even full length dresses are actually not appropriate unless ... (read in full...)
Why can't my wife understand my need to cross-dress? Why is she so upset that I wore her clothes?
Q. My wife knows I am a crossdresser so why was she so angry at me when I came home the other night. I was completely dressed, with a full make over, my eyebrows plucked super thin with a high arch in them and my ears pierced. She said she knows t...
A. 10 June 2017: Did you ask her? ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are struggling to move on. Any suggestions on how we can resolve this?
Q. Hi. I am a married mom mid thirties. My husband and I have been together for 20 years, married for 13 years. We have 5 children together. We have had a wonderful marriage up until recent. Back in Feb 2015 my husband started to receive texts fr...
A. 8 June 2017: "We're Catholic"
Then talk to your priest about you and your husbands desire for revenge, and see if he approves from a religious and moral standpoint.
Revenge is evil. It will only cause your soul more pain and agony. To deliberately inf... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't like blow jobs! Am I doing it wrong?
Q. I know this may sound odd, but my husband hates blowjobs. We've been together 8 years now, married for 2 and it's always been the same since I've known him, he's never enjoyed me going down on him. I have only ever gave 1 guy a blowjob before h...
A. 7 June 2017: I'd take his word for it and just leave it at that. Not all men like blowjobs. Men aren't generic, they're individuals too, you know. They don't all have to like the same things. ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are struggling to move on. Any suggestions on how we can resolve this?
Q. Hi. I am a married mom mid thirties. My husband and I have been together for 20 years, married for 13 years. We have 5 children together. We have had a wonderful marriage up until recent. Back in Feb 2015 my husband started to receive texts fr...
A. 7 June 2017: Look. Your focus on this woman is really only you trying to excuse your husband. But it's not this womans fault that your husband cheated. No really, it isn't! You say over and over how ugly this woman is, white trash, she used your husband, he ... (read in full...)
Advice please? I'm 17, doing my A levels, and I really want to have a baby.
Q. I'm only 17 but I am really wanting to have a baby. I've been with my amazing, supportive boyfriend for coming up to 2 years and he's everything to me. I'm currently having a really hard time at sixth form with my A levels, and have had to chan...
A. 6 June 2017: Uh, yeah, you're thinking about the worst decision in your life. Having a baby just because you feel sorry for yourself? What a brilliant idea. Sorry to be harsh, but you said yourself you just want one to give your life purpose as you can't get the ... (read in full...)
Is my perfectionist boyfriend overly critical of my looks? Or am I oversensitive?
Q. My bf used to think my looks were perfect. But he seems to put me down lately. Like he doesn't like a birth mark on my nose. I can't control that. He tells me that my body is perfect for a woman my age but that I am not 20 anymore. He sa...
A. 6 June 2017: You asked for it? Then there's the answer to why he says such things. I think if you have asked him once, you have probably asked before, and he is just accustomed to you wanting to hear his dead honest opinion about your body. It's become a habit ... (read in full...)
Feeling confused. What is happening to me? I had sex with him and I'm not over him yet. Even though my feelings for him are fading.
Q. Hello, I'm 17 going on 18 and I am a little confused about my feelings towards a guy. In a nut shell, we've been friends for a while, things got flirty, he hung out a few times, I lost my virginity to him, we decided to stay friends to avoid th...
A. 6 June 2017: Your situation is not unusual. This is something that most of us experience during our lifetime. Not knowing fully how we feel about someone, or what exactly we want. Whether a relationship is it, or if maybe staying friends is better. The idea of ... (read in full...)
I did not choose the dress my boyfriend loved. Did I make a mistake?
Q. Hi. I took my boyfriend shopping. He is one of the rare guys who enjoys shopping with his girlfriend. He likes to help me find clothes and watches me as I try them on and always gives me his honest opinion. Yesterday we were out shopping...
A. 5 June 2017: All things aside, dont ever wear black in a wedding. Its poor etiquette as black is the colour for funerals, and is seen to mean you wish the couple bad luck, if you wear black at their wedding. White is also to be avoided, as that symbols you want ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend?
Q. My best friend started dating a girl from our college. But I've had 3some with that girl before. Should I tell him this?...
A. 1 June 2017: No, you didn't "fuck his girlfriend". You had sex with this woman and then she became his girlfriend AFTER. It's honestly not the same. But if you want to be an idiot, fine, go ahead and tell him. Really though, it's none of your business. You did ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend?
Q. My best friend started dating a girl from our college. But I've had 3some with that girl before. Should I tell him this?...
A. 1 June 2017: Why? Just because you have had sex with her doesn't mean you own her or that you get dibs on her for all eternity.
And, maybe you're not used to this happening if you're from a larger city, but people have sex and then move on and have sex with... (read in full...)
I need help so I can stop having an irrational hatred towards women
Q. I did some therapy but it didn't really help. Through strength and determination I’m a much more positive person that I was a year ago and I’m proud of myself for my growth. Core Problems: 1. My earliest experiences with the opposite sex were ve...
A. 31 May 2017: Your plan is, pardon me, terrible. First off, never get involved with a co-worker. The only circumstances where I would give the green light to an office romance, is if you're so head over heels in love with one another that you can barely get any ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my fiance how I came up with the name for our unborn daughter?
Q. Hi guys So I am 29, engaged and pregnant. To be honest life couldn't be better right now. My summer wedding is around the corner and everything's great. Here's my question. Me and my fiance are having a girl and have come up with the best n...
A. 31 May 2017: Nooooooo.... How you came up with it is not important, and telling him will hurt his feelings and it WILL put him off the name in a matter of principle. If he asks, you should only say vaguely that it is a name you thought of back when you were ... (read in full...)
How do you let gay men know which role you from the get-go?
Q. What do you do if you get the impression that other gay men think you're a top when you're not? I guess it's my appearance but that's kinda unfair. Has anybody ever experienced this? How can I fix this? ...
A. 31 May 2017: I thought this is the sort of thing you figure out through conversation. Maybe Im old fashioned and like to talk to people before I take them to bed, but I guess that's just the way I roll... ... (read in full...)
I cant seem to crack the code to being happier, I am always miserable.
Q. I wanted to ask if someone else has struggled to be happy- I am a miserable person and as much as I try in therapy I just can't be satisfied. I worry a lot about what others perceive me and I please People. Sadly the only joy I have gotten is ...
A. 31 May 2017: I was about to advice you to go on a vacation alone with no WiFi. But then I see that is what you are afraid of. So likely, you will not do it. But if you truly want to be happy and learn to live in the moment, this is what you should do. Go on ... (read in full...)
He's unbalanced and often will not take his meds. I'm scared of making another mistake but I know I have to leave him. How can my children and I leave him safely?
Q. I've decided to leave but I am scared. I've been married twice before. The first 14 years and two children and he cheated. The second was a rebound one child but he was abusive. I had 5 years on my own with my three children and we were happy...
A. 31 May 2017: Yes, you are right to remove yourself and your children from this situation. I think your lives will be much easier and better once you get away from this man. I would even call child services to get them to check in on his children. They appear to ... (read in full...)
I am beginning to resent him. He has changed since we married. He is now sarcastic to me. How can this be resolved ?
Q. Apologizes in advance for the long post but I really need advice. My husband and I have been married for five months. We dated for 2.5 years long distance. I moved to his city post-marriage. During the time we dated, he was always very sweet ...
A. 30 May 2017: Stop doing all the house work. You are busy looking for a job, that is your job. You are not his cleaning lady. So stop doing that immediately. You share the chores, end of story. Stop asking him to take out the trash. If its his turn, just leave it ... (read in full...)
I am not getting enough quality time with my boyfriend.
Q. For those of you in a long-term relationship, how much time do you spend with your significant other? Lately I've been feeling frustrated with the amount of time my boyfriend and I spend together. We've been dating for five years and don't live t...
A. 30 May 2017: This is a compatibility question. You are not being ridiculous, but neither is he. Some people need more quality time with their loved one. Others need less. Look up the five love languages for a start. If he is not willing or able to compromise, ... (read in full...)
Why did my husband marry me, (I'm slim), if he prefers more curvy woman when he watches porn?
Q. I am a slim enough (not too slim but not curvy chubby), my husbands porn preference is ALWAYS BBW or chubby women. Why?? I know it's his preference because we've talked about his sexual attraction to BBW women! And we sometimes watch porn together...
A. 29 May 2017: Oh my, why does anyone get turned on by anything... It's just how we work. Stop trying to read so much into it. It's just what it is, he prefers a relationship with a healthy woman, but gets turned on in porn by chubby women.
Fantasy is not the ... (read in full...)
I thought we'd made plans but she hasn't texted back!
Q. Hey all! Need some advice here please. Earlier in the week a girl said I was amazing and that we should hang out this weekend. I texted her yesterday asking if the plans were still good and she said heck ya so I replied sweet that's what I like to ...
A. 29 May 2017: I agree with her not being interested. She was just saying "yeah" because she loves the attention. She's one of those people who just love to be loved and wanted, but they are all full of empty promises. If she was serious, she would have given you ... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating doesn't want kids but I do
Q. I am dating a guy I am 35 he is 46 he says that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and would marry me tomorrow if I wanted it. We have loads in common hobby wise, we have similar political and religious stances. However I really...
A. 29 May 2017: You should probably push this some more. I think the way he answered was purposefully vague. He doesn't want kids, but he knows that if he said it directly, you would probably end things. And he is crazy about you, I mean he said he wants to marry ... (read in full...)
I feel massive resentment towards my boyfriend because everything works out for him but never for me
Q. I don't really know how to word this but I have massive resentment towards my boyfriend because everything just works out for him, I don't want to be jealous or annoyed but I am. A few things I can think of are that I applied to go on an aid trip to ...
A. 29 May 2017: I know this feeling. It's not jealousy. It's bitterness. You are bitter that life isn't fair, and some people get things easily or for free, while others pay the shirts off their backs and end up with less still. It sucks. It's not fair. It makes ... (read in full...)
Is there a reason I didn't have an orgasm the first time I had sex?
Q. Hi I'm a near 18 year old female. I lost my virginity a few months back and have only had sex with that one guy. We've always been kind of more than friends (well for over a year), but not quite defined as anything more. It just sort of happened one ...
A. 29 May 2017: Uhm... Welcome to the club! Most women do not orgasm from intercourse. Or during sex at all. We need to take matters in our own hands, unless you have a partner who knows your body well over the years, or happen to get randomly lucky some times. ... (read in full...)
He has ED, should I stay with him?
Q. I am planning to settle down with this guy as I really want kids (I've wanted them for years) and I'd like someone to help bring them up. I've been dating for a few months and found out that he has erectile dysfunction. I am not in love with him...
A. 27 May 2017: He would be nothing but a sperm donor and child support payer for you. I don't think that's fair on him or your future children. Children are for life, so if you want to committ to having them, at least try for them with a partner who you will also ... (read in full...)
I made a fake account and my boyfriend chatted with it!
Q. i made a fake account recently and send request to my bf...and he asked who s this and then i started talking to him by telling fake family nd fake profession and all..he shared all his personal details with me he even send his pictures to me( fake ...
A. 26 May 2017: Your relationship is already broken. You have no trust in him and act controlling. Why should you be able to dictate who he talks to? You are adults, he is allowed to talk to whatever he wants. You are the one who lied and tested him, which is a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's best friend hates me!
Q. I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend . We have been together for over a year. We get a long very well don't argue. My friends and family love him and his family likes me as well. His other friends likes me . However , his best ma...
A. 26 May 2017: The reason he behaves this way is because he likes you. I once had a boyfriend whos best friend never wanted to talk to me, was a bit rude, ignored me etc. I coulndt stand him. Then we broke up, and I happened to meet the best friend on the street. ... (read in full...)
I fell in love with a part-time escort and not sure what to do now
Q. Long read, please be patient. I am a working professional in my early 30’s and I've been living and working in Southeast Asia for the past 10 years. I live and work in a rather remote and industrial area and thus I've always found it diffic...
A. 26 May 2017: No other solution than to ask her. Be brave! ... (read in full...)
Why is it I feel I lost my soulmate? And could he really have moved on so fast?
Q. Hello again DearCupid. As I look back, I realized I have been posting on here on and off for about 7 years! This has significance because I was just broken up with my boyfriend of 6 years over the phone, and the majority of my posts wer...
A. 26 May 2017: *helped him find himself
... (read in full...)
Why is it I feel I lost my soulmate? And could he really have moved on so fast?
Q. Hello again DearCupid. As I look back, I realized I have been posting on here on and off for about 7 years! This has significance because I was just broken up with my boyfriend of 6 years over the phone, and the majority of my posts wer...
A. 26 May 2017: Ah, the good old tale of the young man who got the "best thing that ever happened to him" but it wasn't what he wanted.
Really, you can be the best thing that ever happened to him, and you helped him grow and you helped him find yourself etc, but... (read in full...)
My crush of 2 years just got a girlfriend! Now what?
Q. I'm sure this has happened to people a million times before but this is the first time for me. Quite simply, the boy I've had a crush on for two years has just gotten a girlfriend. He likes her very much - he is constantly preoccupied, staring into ...
A. 26 May 2017: You already had two years to get close to him and ample time to confess your feelings while he was single. Now that ship has sailed. You need to cut down contact with him now. You like him as more than friends, so its not fair to pretend to be his ... (read in full...)
How can I forgive my boyfriend for drunk cheating?
Q. My boyfriend and I have lived together since February, our one year is in a couple days. Last month he came home at 2:30 in the morning after drinking, he told me his car battery had died on his way home from work so he was stuck. i went through his ...
A. 26 May 2017: No, sorry, you both dont want this to work. He might tell you he wants it to work, but look at his actions. He still sneaks around and meets this woman, he lies to you. He is not doing "everything" he can to make things right. He just wants to stay ... (read in full...)
I know my friend's boyfriend is cheating on her but my boyfriend says I can't tell her
Q. Hi; I have a boyfriend who I love dearly and me and him are good friends with another couple who we go out with and see a lot. I am very good friends with the girl of the couple and he is very good friends with the boy of the couple although...
A. 25 May 2017: Your boyfriend wants to protect a cheater? Im sorry, but this says a lot about his moral compass. I don't think I would trust your boyfriend if he is willing to let this carry on without saying anything. The girl is his friend too, after all. And ... (read in full...)
26 and never been on a date
Q. Long story short, I am 26 and have never been on a date, in a relatiobship, or even kissed. I am a little shy, buy very easy going. I talk to guys at work and they are cool, but I feel like I am just friendzone for anyone. It makes me feel like ...
A. 25 May 2017: You know what, I am pretty sure the reason for this is that you are too passive/don't see it when people make a move on you. I had a friend once who was just like you, unkissed, never dated etc at 26. He told me he thought he wasn't good enough, ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this? I'm hurt that a second man is asking about who is the prettiest of my friends?
Q. Hi all, So I dated this guy for a short while who really messed it up for me. He has a narsissistic personality disorder and well I bore the brunt of of it. One thing in particular which he did and I found very insulting was- he wouldn't stop ta...
A. 25 May 2017: I actually think your reaction was healthy in this case. It is really rude to ask a girl who she finds prettiest among her friends. Dont talk to this guy again, because I think he was just talking to you in order to get to your friend. ... (read in full...)
I cheated and had a one night stand!
Q. Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. She honestly is the love of my life and I am very happy with her and would do anything for her. Unfortunately, I made a terrible mistake a couple of nights ago , had way too many drinks (which I know ...
A. 24 May 2017: The best thing to do for her is either tell her or break up.... (read in full...)
I'm getting no empathy or support from my family.
Q. Hi I'm not really sure where to start with this one or how to word it without coming across like I'm playing the victim so il just say how it is best I can. Basically I am in my 30s with three children. 11,13 and 10 weeks. My newest addition was a ...
A. 23 May 2017: Stop talking to your family for a while. They just bring you down. And find a place with cheaper rent! You know you CAN NOT survive on loans, that's not a solution to anything and will only make matters worse. You need to cut down costs and find a ... (read in full...)
Despite out 6 year age difference, do you think this relationship could work out well for us ?
Q. Hello. I'd like to get some advice, as I've never been in a similar situation before. I've met a really good, caring and beautiful girl, and in short, we talked a bit, she told me she liked me since the last year, and later on, we kissed a few ...
A. 23 May 2017: I think it can work. ... (read in full...)
How can I cope with my sexual frustration? Masturbating seems my only option. How can I feel better about myself?
Q. I'm 26yrs old and have accomplished nothing. I failed college, don't have a job, and I am a virgin. I feel that I am a hopeless disgrace with no future or anything of value. My problem is that I am sexually frustrated but feel like I have noth...
A. 23 May 2017: Figure out why you feel no self worth and why you are ashamed. Start with some ground work on your own mind. And then think more in "matter of fact". You can only count on yourself to pick yourself up in this world. Have a plan B for what to do, ... (read in full...)
I think I made a mistake in getting married to him as I don't think I can accept his culture and all the family involvement. What should I do?
Q. I am a vey independent woman who likes a lot of space and I do not like being told what to do. I rarely see my own family as I am busy with my life and they with theirs. My husband comes from Egypt and would like me to go and live there but I don'...
A. 23 May 2017: Honestly? I think you are being selfish. Marriage is about compromise, not about your getting everything you want at the cost of your husband. He is already doing the best he can to go to your country, but the visa application was not approved. Then ... (read in full...)
Does anyone act this way after a break up?
Q. Does anyone have this pattern of having on to an ex until someone else comes along- I have never "truly" gotten over someone until I got someone else. Example - my ex and this wasn't a long relationship left me- he did it in a disrespectful way and ...
A. 23 May 2017: "usually people understand that when someone does something bad and treats relationships like they are nothing but disposable they run from this person"
No, you're wrong about this. You would think this way, that if people get treated poorly, ... (read in full...)
He didn't invite me to a family function. Should I tell him how I feel?
Q. Hey, Thanks for taking the time to read my post I'm going to keep it short I've been with my partner 10 years I'm 27 hes 28 we've had a very happy time together no real drama or anything we have always been great together I cant imagine anyone in...
A. 20 May 2017: He just forgot to invite you. No hidden agenda. ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 years older than him, I know its crazy but its so intoxicating!
Q. I feel like I've completely lost my mind here, so maybe someone can give me some perspective. I'm a 38 year-old mother of one. I've been divorced for years. I've always thought of myself as a rational person until now. For reasons I cannot explain, ...
A. 20 May 2017: I think its healthy. Who doesnt need hot sex? Keep at it. As far as a relationship goes, I dont think it is meant for life either. But who says you need to marry him? Enjoy the sex and the thrill. But use protection unless youve both had the ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
