| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
|
Should I stay with my fiance even though I love someone else?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I will try to keep this short as possible. I've been in a long term relationship for 14 years and have a 14 year old daughter who my partner raised as his own since she was 2 weeks old. We had an amazing relati...
A. 26 June 2019: Im glad you and your daughter are doing better. You did the right thing. ... (read in full...)
I think having sex with another girl will get these crazy depressing thoughts out of my head!
Q. well, im in a relationship for about a year with this girl and we both love each other a lot. While she is my first gf, im not her first bf, she had one before me who she really loved as well (i know this because a knew her back then) it was a long ...
A. 16 March 2017: Ha! Aren't you naive. You think cheating and having sex will help solve the problem? Maybe, but it will add like ten or twenty other problems, and it will surely mark the end of your relationship.
This is new to you. Sex is new. Feeling these bi... (read in full...)
Sex makes me feel so disgusted in myself, but only afterwards because in the lead up it is always what I want to do at the time. I feel like a horrible person but equally I do not know why I have this light switch effect. Any advice?
Q. I feel as if there is something wrong with me and I am frustrated with myself for feeling the way that I do. When I am seeing a new partner, as soon as we have sex I suddenly become completely disinterested in anything intimate with them. This ...
A. 16 March 2017: So, tell me about your childhood. 99% chance the root of your problem lies there. Religious fanatics who told you sex was a sin, or worse: sexual abuse or adults who in other ways did not respect your boundaries.
You feel dirty because at some ... (read in full...)
I said "I love you" but he's not at that point and now I'm hurt/confused and wondering if I should break things off
Q. About two weeks ago, I found myself (regrettably) drunk after a super fun night out with a group of friends and my boyfriend, who I have been seeing for nearly 6 moths. The BF very sweetly took care of getting me to my house, getting me into my ...
A. 16 March 2017: PS. I see others say people move at different speeds, and some people just take longer etc. Yes, sure, it could be. But this is a matter of compatibility. If YOU were this type of person yourself, who wasn't quite sure about your feelings for him, ... (read in full...)
I said "I love you" but he's not at that point and now I'm hurt/confused and wondering if I should break things off
Q. About two weeks ago, I found myself (regrettably) drunk after a super fun night out with a group of friends and my boyfriend, who I have been seeing for nearly 6 moths. The BF very sweetly took care of getting me to my house, getting me into my ...
A. 16 March 2017: "He said he cares for me very deeply and respects me and that our relationship hits every mark on his "mental checklist" of what a relationship should be. He said he's very happy with me, pointed out all of my qualities that he likes, and that he ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to indulge in an MMF threesome with his best friend
Q. My boyfriend of a year recently asked me if I would be into a MMF threesome with one of his best friends, although his words were "tag team". He revealed it was one of his fantasy's, and asked me if I would be into it. At the time I said I don't ...
A. 15 March 2017: PS. I have been asked about threesomes ALOT. Primarily because I am open bisexual, so I get invitations pretty much all over from couples, and many times friends who want to spice up their sex life. I've engaged in it too, with friends, and it was ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to indulge in an MMF threesome with his best friend
Q. My boyfriend of a year recently asked me if I would be into a MMF threesome with one of his best friends, although his words were "tag team". He revealed it was one of his fantasy's, and asked me if I would be into it. At the time I said I don't ...
A. 15 March 2017: Just say no. Double penetration is for the very experienced women who are into this thing, and who for one enjoys anal, and secondly enjoys extreme sexual acts. This is NOT a thing I would recommend anyone who doesn't immediately jump up and down ... (read in full...)
What is wrong with my boyfriend? our conversations on the phone lapse into silence
Q. I'm so frustrated! What is wrong with my boyfriend? He likes to be on the phone with me but has nothing to say. It will literally be silent for half an hour and it annoys me so much to hold the phone and listen to dead air like that. When I t...
A. 14 March 2017: Maybe he wants to move in with you? Appears he really enjoy the sound of your breath before bedtime, or just knowing you are "near". After 3 years, do you know where this relationship is heading? ... (read in full...)
The guy is turning into an alcoholic. Should I keep it to myself that I'm pregnant, and raise the baby without him?
Q. I don't know what I want to do at this point. I think I may be pregnant with the guy I'm currently seeing. I feel like he's going on a downward spiral at the moment. He had a weekend out with the boys and he got really drunk and now he is gettin...
A. 14 March 2017: Take a pregnancy test first of all. All these questions cant be answered on a "maybe". ... (read in full...)
Wedding plans. What can I say to my sister and yet not upset her?
Q. I am getting married in September and have chosen my bridal party. My sister is supposed to be a bridesmaid in my bridal party. We had a falling out after I had asked her and she had said she no longer wanted to be a part of the wedding. The re...
A. 14 March 2017: You need to let your sister make her own decisions, and accept those decisions. If she wants to leave after the ceremony, let her. Its not such a special day you need her full attention all day, or that you can get married without her. You see her ... (read in full...)
Lesbian, Bisexual or Heterosexual or all three? I’m confused, any chance of talking some sense into me?
Q. I used to identify as a lesbian, and had only had serious relationships with women, however I fell madly in love with my male best friend, who has now been my partner for the past three years. We have an excellent relationship and have many exc...
A. 13 March 2017: PS. Don't be scared to join in on the gay scene, just because you are in a "straight" relationship. You're not straight just because you happen to be with a man right now. You still, very much so, do belong to the gay scene and can happily join any ... (read in full...)
Lesbian, Bisexual or Heterosexual or all three? I’m confused, any chance of talking some sense into me?
Q. I used to identify as a lesbian, and had only had serious relationships with women, however I fell madly in love with my male best friend, who has now been my partner for the past three years. We have an excellent relationship and have many exc...
A. 13 March 2017: I think you are too self absorbed here. This isn't about you exploring your sexuality. You have already explored. You have been with women before, it's not unchartered territory. You are asking to open the relationship, not to explore sexuality, but ... (read in full...)
I think my best friend is trying to be me. I cannot handle her behaviour any more. What can I do?
Q. I'm on a very difficult situation lately. I've known my best friend for 7 years and we've been through ups and downs but this time, I had enough. A few days ago, I was thinking about my friendship with my (best friend) and I've realized that I'v...
A. 13 March 2017: Stop calling her your friend, first off. It's clear to me that you are not her friend. You find her annoying. She was a childhood friend of yours which you have now outgrown.
Friendships should be treasured and valued, but there is a limit to... (read in full...)
My Long Term girlfriend has just been diagnosed with Herpes. Should I bail?
Q. The question i'm posing is whether or not i should leave my girlfriend of almost 5 years. I know that herpes can lay dormant for a long period of time, and i know there is a POSSIBILITY that either of us could have had herpes with no symptoms for ...
A. 9 March 2017: Forgive me for pointing out the obvious, but whether you have herpes or not ir irrelevant for whether to stay in the relationship or not!
If you want out, then leave. If you are only going to stay with her if you also have gotten herpes, then tha... (read in full...)
My 22 year old daughter has sent nude photos to her boyfriend. How do I address this?
Q. I recently discovered that my 22 year old daughter who is doing her post graduation has clicked and sent her nude pictures to her boyfriend. am concerned that its morally incorrect and also usually such pictures land up circulating. Its very...
A. 7 March 2017: Tell her you found out and are disappointed. Warn her about the dangers of sending such pictures. ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is going fine. But our sex life is declining. What could be the reason for this decline?
Q. Does sex life tend to decline after a few years? My girlfriend was virgin when she met me. She used to love sex, was extremely naughty and used to want it more than me. Now few years later she isn't really up for it. She says it not me, she does...
A. 7 March 2017: Sounds to me like she's going through something. Things are not "fine" in my ears. I don't think it's you, she's telling you it's not you, so trust her. You're not lacking. She's the one who's not moving, not participating, withdrawing and not ... (read in full...)
Should I go on a trip with my family or to a wedding with my boyfriend?
Q. I'm struggling to make a decision. I don't want this to sound like first world problems or like a brat. I've been dating someone for nearly 6 months now. We're starting to get more serious and have had a really great relationship so far. The ...
A. 7 March 2017: Go to the wedding. The wedding is this one time. France will be there for a good while longer.
But, I always say that you need to prioritize the first agreement you made, in any such situation. If you agreed to go with your boyfriend to the wedd... (read in full...)
She dropped me as a friend after realizing we would not work romantically! Why??
Q. OK, perhaps people will think I'm daft but in brief I began corresponding with this woman in another country on an international dating site. At first we thought we would just be friends, and we seemed to share a lot: philosophy, books, movies, art, ...
A. 7 March 2017: Listen, you are smarter than this. You well know not ALL women are like this ONE WOMAN you met. So this particular woman, to me it sounds like she was messaging with many men at the same time, and trying to get to know you by asking personal ... (read in full...)
Could I be his back up option?
Q. I joined a dating site a month ago and got chatting with a guy. a couple of week ago he told me he had decided to see how it would go with someone he had already met so he was honest and didnt want to string me along. He said hes still on the site ...
A. 7 March 2017: Yes, you are a back up option. ... (read in full...)
If my husband takes up the job then our relationship would suffer. What should we do now?
Q. my husband is applying for a job in a town about an hour away from the one that we live in. if this was where the story ended, there would be no problem...but it's not, and there is. the job is 12 hours a day, seven days a week, graveyard shifts (7 ...
A. 7 March 2017: Agree on a time frame. Such as six months. To get money to pay off the debt from his crazy overspending and misuse of credit cards. And talk about financial plans. Its not that long ago that he accumulated this debt. Im not so convinced of his ... (read in full...)
I missed the boat and it's breaking my heart. I wanted to be a wife and a mother. Will I ever get over this?
Q. I don't see how I can ever be happy. I LONG to be a wife and mom. I want it so badly that it breaks my heart. Realistically, I know that it can never happen because everyone knows that men aren't attracted to a woman who is over thirty. I'm i...
A. 6 March 2017: " Realistically, I know that it can never happen because everyone knows that men aren't attracted to a woman who is over thirty."
Oh, is that so? I guess someone should tell my boyfriend, he must have missed that memo. And no, we didn't start da... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to tell my boyfriend that I cheated or not
Q. Okay so I went out one night at the start of my relationship and I barely remember anything. I'd gone out with a few friends and end up in a club on my own. I got speaking to a guy and he walked me part way home. He ended up giving me his number but ...
A. 6 March 2017: Yes, it might for certain be over if you kissed, but you don't know that you kissed. You honestly can't remember. You were too drunk. You need to get your drinking under control, that's what I would take from this. But you don't know if it means the ... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to tell my boyfriend that I cheated or not
Q. Okay so I went out one night at the start of my relationship and I barely remember anything. I'd gone out with a few friends and end up in a club on my own. I got speaking to a guy and he walked me part way home. He ended up giving me his number but ...
A. 6 March 2017: Tell him. To maybe have cheated and not remember is one thing. To lie to him is definitely worse. Own your actions. If he leaves you because of this, then you will hopefully have learned that this isn't how you show respect for a partner in the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend no longer even tries to have sex with me because its painful
Q. I'm having an issue with my boyfriend of about a year now. We haven't had sex in about a month and he says it's because I'm sensitive down there since it hurts when we have sex. He said he's just tired of that happening so he doesn't want to even ...
A. 6 March 2017: You need to see your gynecologist. It is not normal that sex hurts.... (read in full...)
Did I lose my chance with this guy because we met on T
Q. I am a fun, bubbly, warm, funny, kind/caring, and positive young woman. I know it sounds silly to say, but I made a Tinder earlier in the year thinking that people used it to find relationships and stupidly, I found out most used it for hookups. ...
A. 3 March 2017: *You meet *men* on serious dating apps/sites who also just want sex. ... (read in full...)
Did I lose my chance with this guy because we met on T
Q. I am a fun, bubbly, warm, funny, kind/caring, and positive young woman. I know it sounds silly to say, but I made a Tinder earlier in the year thinking that people used it to find relationships and stupidly, I found out most used it for hookups. ...
A. 3 March 2017: Lets see, I know at least three couples in long-term committed relationships who met on Tinder. So no, I think you just had bad luck with this particular guy. You meet met on serious dating apps/sites who also just want sex. Or who you don't have ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't know about my secret eating disorder.
Q. Long story short, I have struggled with bulimia and anorexia for 10 years. I do not struggle with purging anymore, but restrict my calorie intake everyday and continue to have issues with food. Me and my bf have known each other for 3 and ...
A. 3 March 2017: You need to tell him. That is the only way for you to allow him to be there for you. He is an adult, it is not your job to try and protect him from life. I think he loves you, in which case he wants to be there for you, wants to know you, and you ... (read in full...)
Garment crisis in the carpark
Q. Hello everyone, My husband and i work in the same company different departments . So i just came from ethiopia to USA and i am experiencing cultural shocks! so the other day there is a fire alarm at work and all co-workers had to stay outside in ...
A. 3 March 2017: Interpret it as your husband being a jerk. ... (read in full...)
Married 20 years. Yet he's not consulting with me over big decisions. Do you think my husband should have discussed this financial decision with me first, before announcing it at a family function?
Q. Hi Aunts and uncles, Recently my husband of 20 years and I had a dispute. I was surprised by something he did and told him that he should have discussed it with me before, as I would have done in his situation. He got angry with me and instea...
A. 2 March 2017: "The other part just doesn’t understand why he wants to throw it away on a man who doesn’t deserve it"
You answered this question yourself. Because he wanted to impress his fathers side of the family. He wants to be part of that family. He is th... (read in full...)
Did he not know what to do with our relationship? What could have triggered his response? I am very confused! Need honest advice!
Q. I, Guess I Kind of broke up with my boyfriend ( 37y/o) I could not stand his erratic behavior anymore. last friday he came for his graduation, and he messaged me on past Thursday saying that on Friday he was coming early here to town where I live, ...
A. 2 March 2017: I think your post is difficult to follow. Maybe the communication style is just unfamiliar to me, but if you want to meet someone at 10am, why are you texting them at 11.30am? And if he wanted to meet you before his graduation, why were you making ... (read in full...)
Why do I always ''arrive'' faster with girls than with guys? I think I'm bisexual
Q. Hi, i'm looking for some advice here. Right so, im pretty sure im bisexual, or hetrofelxible, or whatever doesn't really matter im well experienced with both sexes. So, there was this guy, i came over to his, he was waiting naked, proceeded...
A. 2 March 2017: I think it's probably a matter of your body preferring that particular kind of stimulation over the other. Even as a bisexual myself, I don't like both genders 50/50. It's more common for bisexuals to lean somewhat more towards one gender for sex, ... (read in full...)
What is happening here? Neither my girlfriend nor I were virgins when we met. So why am I suddenly bothered that someone else before me had sex with her, before me?
Q. I’m with my girlfriend since almost 3 years and none of us were virgins when we get together. For me non virginity is not a problem at all, but since 1 week the idea of someone other than me inside her started to pop up in my head. I love her fro...
A. 1 March 2017: I think it's because you love her. When you even said yourself she was your first love and you hers, it makes even more sense. You experience a whole range of new emotions, and part of these new emotions is a deeply rooted wish to have her ALL to ... (read in full...)
I was cheating and my husband found out.
Q. Im a 28 year old female whos been having an intense sexual affair with another man for the past three years..my husband recently found out about us and told me to stop or else..I stopped seeing this other man, hoping my relationship with my husband ...
A. 1 March 2017: Go for a divorce. You already left the marriage when you cheated. I don't see why you should try to fool yourself and keep stringing your husband along. You're not interested in being married to your husband, so why do you keep at it?
Why d... (read in full...)
We both want to have sex but I'm not sure I am ready
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 months and he has fingered me and I have given him a hand job. We've both considered having sex but I'm not sure if I'm ready. Sometimes I want to have sex and I feel confident but sometimes I get too scared I ...
A. 27 February 2017: Nah, I say just wait until the moment feels right and you feel comfortable. You've already had sex, btw. What you mean is probably intercourse. Handjobs and fingering IS SEX ALSO. So you are already having sex, if that helps ease the tension.
... (read in full...)
I'm scared to follow my dreams in case my past could be viewed as a scandal!
Q. I married a man who is my mother's ex-boyfriend's younger brother. Let me explain. So my mother dated a guy for two years, ten+ years ago. I was 18/19 at the time. The man lived with us as a 'step-father'. I was never around due to college, a jo...
A. 27 February 2017: ---- Lady, if you've had a life changing event and gone through it, and want to fulfill your dreams before you die so you can look back on life with no regrets, then answer me this: why does it matter if people discovered how you met your husband? ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my fiance even though I love someone else?
Q. Dear Aunties and Uncles, I will try to keep this short as possible. I've been in a long term relationship for 14 years and have a 14 year old daughter who my partner raised as his own since she was 2 weeks old. We had an amazing relati...
A. 27 February 2017: You're going about this in the wrong way, pushing the cart before the horse.
"What has upset me is, I agreed to marry my partner because I felt my friend never saw us together as a couple."
So, you marry one man because you think it's just ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being truthful about his parents?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over three years now. He's currently in his forties. We broke up last year for about a month because he and I talked about getting married but then when we actually started trying to pick a date he told me ...
A. 27 February 2017: Im not sure about his parents. I have met parents who I thought I got on amazingly with, who I would even join for outings without my partner, who invited me with them for vacations, who would tell me how happy they are that their son is dating me.. ... (read in full...)
His family want us to marry, mine don't!
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I 'was' dating this guy for a little over two years. We have both met each other's families and all was well until last December when his family started asking him to get married. Now the problem is I am in my early 20s ...
A. 27 February 2017: Tell him he will do fine and it is not too late for him to find someone else to marry. ... (read in full...)
He looks at naked women online but said he'd leave if I posted nudes of myself!
Q. I want to post nude pics of myself on an amateur site . It excites me to imagine men getting off to pictures of my naked body . My husband is against it and says he will leave . He looks at other men's wives naked and at porn . Why is it ok for him ...
A. 21 February 2017: I agree to it being a double standard. But would it really help you fulfill your fantasies if he stops looking at porn? Or are you only interested in doing this because he looks at porn?
I dont see how you can fulfill your fantasies AND have a h... (read in full...)
Does she still want this wedding?
Q. Just a quick question? Me and my partner are due to be getting married in october this year not a big expencive one but one we can offord we have put deposits down for most things but now all of a sudden shes saying we cant offord the wedding so i ...
A. 20 February 2017: It sounds like she has cold feet and isn't sure of what she wants.
I think, if she wants to cancel the wedding, you need to sit her down and have a good talk with her. If she's not happy and excited about marrying you now, then why would she be n... (read in full...)
Should I ask if we are boyfriend and girlfriend?
Q. I have been dating a guy I met on tinder since December. We seem to get on really well and I feel that we always have good dates. After the 10th date, we slept together and have slept together a few times since. We have now probably been on...
A. 20 February 2017: Do you want to be exclusive? Do you have feelings for him? Or would you like things to be open?
As it stands, it appears you are in a relationship already. These things don't always need to be discussed, in most cases they flow naturally. But some... (read in full...)
Is he right to be annoyed? He was asleep, while I watched porn. He said that what I did was a form of cheating
Q. Okay so My boyfriend always takes the mick out of me that I want sex too much. I do like it every day but I don't think that's a problem.. Anyway, that's not the issue. Last night he fell asleep when he knew I was horny, which isn't reall...
A. 19 February 2017: He does not have a right. But the thing is that he is feeling emasculated. According to male code of conduct, you're not a proper man if you can't take care of your womans sexual needs. So he feels like crap because he doesn't have the same high sex ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
