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Is it weird that I am 19 years old and I still hang out with my parents ?

Tagged as: Family, Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 April 2017) 7 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2017)
A female France age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Hello,

Well, i am 19 years old, i am studying in college, but still living with my parents.

The thing is i don't hang out with my friends: i still don't drive and we live far away from the city, and there's no public transport nearby. So whenever i want to go out to have fun, i go with my parents and my little sister.

The problem is that i'm starting to feel that it's weird to hang out with them since i'm an adult now and most of my friends go out together..

I can't move to live by myself. So i cant figure it out.

That's it i guess. If you guys have any piece of advice, it will be great. Thank you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2017):

This problem has been bugging me and I cant quite figure it out!

When you are married you will want to spend time with your family.

They will know your future husband and will respect him and vice versa.

Your little sister will become the Aunty to your children and she in turn will have hubby and kids and will spend time with you all as a big family unit.

But the problem resides in the feeling of discomfort you have possibly because you havent bridged that gap!

But you are !moving forward towards it with your studying!

Do you feel uncomfortabl getting into the car?

Then wise owls suggestion to learn to drive and to get your folks to help out with that is the way to go!

You do have plans for after this college course ends?

Something tells me that you need to make tweeks with your life!

Maybe just send mum and dad out alone one weekend every month and have a big sister night where you watch movies and eat pizza!

But in theory I cant see anything wrong !

The only thing I know is that sometimes you need to recognise your feelings of discomfort and figure out a future path such as a next step of progression in your career!

Having a good mum and dad is a good thing and looks very rosy for a happy adult future.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (19 April 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIts not weird. But you are probably just craving some freedom and being able to hang out with friends. It is okay to be with family, but I do think it is also important to be independent and be able to be with friends or do hobbies.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2017):

Been there during my teenage. Unlike you I was even vocal about it. I told my mum I should hang out with my friends as it's what my age people do.

It's embarrassing to only go out with y'all. I was a bit of an introvert back then and shy too. Had a few friends who themselves hung out with parents and only on special days like birthdays or sleepovers, we (friends) went out.

Things were good as long as I stuck with my type of people as explained above. 2 years forward, high school and college I ended up forcing myself to mingle with people different from me. Now I am 25..looking back I regret. It makes me laugh as well as regret. Because what I thought was 'cool' were actually situations and people I was uncomfortable with.

Don't do that to yourself. First of all NEVER feel apologetic for enjoying time with family or being conventional. Don't try hard and be the 'hip' teenager. When we older people look at it, it actually looks very lame. Wannabe teenagers trying to act all cool - yeah we can identify that like the back of our hand. Don't be one of them. Be yourself. when I see smart teens who are comfortable in their own skin, building an academic record or career, laughing with their family as cool and something I would have been had I not forced myself to become like others. Sometimes I feel a little envious, wish I could go back in time and tell myself how amazing I was.

Your independent self might be kicking in as another aunt said. But NEVER force yourself or go out of the way. If it happens in the flow then let it. TBH, this is not really a great age to be fully independent. When you're 22 and start a full time job, It will come to you naturally- the independence, the going out etc. Let it happen by itself. Same goes for dating. The truth is that if you were old enough, you'd not be TRYING to become independent. Don't get carried away by what other kids do. You're cooler than them. Infact if you continue being the way you are. You'll admire the younger you someday unlike some others who actually feel embarrassed by their high school behavior- things they did in quest for appearing popular or cool.

Teens often feel that older people are uncool, being like them is boring and the compelling need to act different from them. There's nothing more unsettling and annoying than a rebellious teen trying to act all grown up. WAIT. You will grow, no hurry- meanwhile enjoy your childhood! Stop trying to impress others. Don't overthink the things that give you joy-family and a simple home cooked meal. If you like doing kid like things, do them. You will grow slowly, don't force it upon yourself or be anxious about it.

Love and hugs

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (18 April 2017):

chigirl agony auntIt's not weird. You enjoy their company, they enjoy yours, and you actually don't have much of a choice because you don't have easy access to other people.

I hang out with my mom too, as friends. I have even taken her with me to parties with my peers. I find that it is much easier to have a friendship with your parents as you grow older, rather than have the adult/kid relation. Because you are now old enough to make your own decisions, so typically you will have more interesting discussions or activities simply because you can now interact as fellow adults. When you go out with your parents now, for example, they don't have to worry about watching where you run off to all the time, or cut your food, or make sure you dress warm. You do all that yourself, so the activity will be much less stressful for all people involved, and your parents will be able to enjoy themselves much more than when you were a kid.

So, I think this is a win-win.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (17 April 2017):

Why don't you ask your parents to teach you to drive so you can borrow the car? You need a little independence; and a part-time job. Earning your own income gives you more freedom.

Why don't you hang-out with your friends? If given an invitation, you should accept it. You're becoming a young woman, and your mind is coaxing you to venture out more.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (17 April 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntAre you worried about the time you are actually WITH your family, or is it the fact that you feel you are missing out on social life with your friends? If the former, then I really would not give that a second thought and just enjoy yourself whenever and however you can. If it is the latter, then perhaps you can make friends with young people your age in your surrounding area and go out? Or can you stay overnight with a friend so that you can go out? If you really feel you are missing out, then there must be arrangements you can make to enable you to spend a bit more time with your friends.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (17 April 2017):

Anonymous 123 agony auntWhat is the world coming to if children have started questioning if it's "weird" to hang out with their parents? *Sigh*!!

Sweetie, I'm 15 years older to you and married and a mum myself and yet some of the best moments that I spend and cherish even today are the times that I get to spend with my parents... And my brother whenever he gets a few weeks off work to come home, which is probably a couple of times a year... Whether it's just lolling around at home with them, going out for dinners? or just watching TV and chatting.

You can be a 100 years old and it'll still not be "weird" because family is one of the best gifts that we have and no amount of time spent with them can ever be too much.

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