A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Good day dear aunts and uncles. I met a charming man on a conference I was heading. We exchanged few words and couldn't stop looking at each other. 2 months later I bumped into him on another business venture and we felt the connection. Then we scheduled a meeting a couple of weeks later to discuss a press conference our companies are organizing and that's when he confessed that everytime he sees me he feels insanely attracted to me and I'm gonna be a danger to him cause he's married. I was disappointed cause I didn't know he was married but he explained that his marriage is not well after the birth of his son 3 years ago but he's with the mom for the sake of the kids. He kept on opening up to me and telling me how much he likes me etc. The meeting finished, I went to my office puzzled and a bit disappointed. I texted him few days later and we had a nice convo abt work and personal things. He said that I'm constantly on his mind but it's strange how he never initiates the contact. Why did he confess his feelings but never gets in touch? It's confusing. I know he's still married but as he explained they're not a real couple and it's a loveless marriage. His behavior is confusing. He says he's crazy about me but unless I get in touch he doesn't. Any clue guys?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 April 2017):
 Oh believe me they are very much a real couple. He just fancied a bit on the side. Probably the pressure at home with children and a tired wife. He is selfish and gives a sob story in hope for some sex. Honestly you are not the first he has used these lines on and won't be the last.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2017): I agree with all the ladies answers, and have one idea to add...Him not contacting you can also be a hedge in his mind, in case the whole thing blows up in his face...At that point he will tell his wife that " she was like a stalker, always trying to contact me- I NEVER initiated any contact-shes a psycho"
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 April 2017):
 Of course everyone at work loves him, they see him only in a professional situation. It's entirely different. Besides, the most manipulative and abusive people are the most charming ones, so that doesn't really mean anything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much dear aunts, you are so right! He seemed so honest and my coworkers live him and respect him so much that he almost tricked me. You are right. I think he doesn't get in touch cause he's afraid his wife might know. I just got in touch once and that was it. Not ever again.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 April 2017):
 Oh boo hoo - loveless marriage and only staying for the kids.. HOW trite~! This is 2017, people divorce at the drop of a hat and they CERTAINLY don't feel obligated to stay for their kids either.
Like Anonymous 123 said, his story sounds like the CLASSIC cheating man's anthem. "It's a WOE is me" My wife doesn't love me so I think cheating is OK - will YOU cheat with me because you should feel sorry for me?!"
Really, OP - have a little think here. Try a little common sense. WHY do you think he was all flirty and friendly at first (when you didn't know he was married) and then told you his "story of Woe" when you pulled away? Because he wants you to think YOU are SO much more special than his wife, that you will SHOW him ALL the love he needs....... At least until you want more than to just be his mistress......
He doesn't get in touch because he already thinks he has you wrapped around his finger. And so far he has been right YOU (despite him being married and unavailable) YOU still contact him. You still reach out to stroke his ego.
I bet if you checked his Facebook or his WIFE's Facebook there is nothing LOVELESS about that marriage.
The guy KNOWS that ANY woman with an ounce of SELF-RESPECT and SMARTS wouldn't touch a married man if he said, OH my marriage is OK I just want some "strange" here and there, you want to be my side chick? You can have my wife's sloppy seconds....
OP, you are OLD enough to know better.
Why on Earth do you want this man's drama in your life?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (3 April 2017):
 That's like the cheating married man's anthem! Loveless marriage, in it for the kids, haven't had sex since the youngest was born, wife doesn't care about me... And most guy have a bonus track of how you're always on their mind and they can't stop thinking about you.
Don't tell me you're that naive OP. Come on! If you fall for a shitty, in your face nonsensical fake story like that then you've only yourself to blame. Did you actually think you were special to him, special enough for him to cook up a tried and tested story to get into your pants?
To answer your question, he doesn't get in touch because he doesn't want to and because he doesn't need to!! He's MARRIED! He's getting it all, he's getting the sex, the family life, everything!
What on earth are you thinking? Do you really have nothing better to do than to willingly mess up your life getting into this trap? Thank your stars he hasn't contacted you for sex because once that happens and you become the full-on mistress, then you've had it. We'll be waiting here for your post on how to pick up the pieces in your life after a disastrous affair that's ruined you for good and for all future relationships. Do you want that to happen?
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (3 April 2017):
This married man is full of shit. How do you know they are not a real couple/marriage is loveless? I bet you 100% that his wife doesn't realize she's in a loveless marriage/not real couple...!
Why does he not divorce? Oh, the kid, of course, okdest excuse in the book. Because it benefits the child to have mom and dad be a family, yet it doesn't hurt the child at all if dad stops spending time at home only to disappear with his mistress....Or it doesn't ruin the illusion of a family at all to have a chick on the side?
If he cares so much about keeping the family intact, he sure has a funny way of showing it.
No, don't fall for this crap. If he was truly in a loveless marriage he would end it. If he truly put his child first he would put his marriage first. Marriages dont get better by faking it and then having someone on the side. I bet you he is with his wife because playing family is nice, someone to cook and clean for him, and he gets to see his kid yet doesn't have to do all the work, and maybe his wife has a load of money so he stays to be comfortable. Yet he's not a loyal man, so he wants a little something extra...
And do not fool yourself into thinking he will want any kind of serious relationship with you. He barely courts you. He just wants to stick it to you if given the chance. That's all.
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A
female
reader, mad stacey  +, writes (3 April 2017):
He's just hoping you fall for his lines if what he was saying was true he would msg you..no matter how busy he was he would find time if he truly liked you !!! Just stop texting him if he likes you he will text !! But its dangerous to get involved with a married man you will alway come last always be left waiting for him and hoping for him to pick you ....he wont ... Move on to someone nicer
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