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What do women look for in a man for a boyfriend?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 April 2017) 11 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2017)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

What do women really look for in a man for a boyfriend?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2017):

I can tell you what is at the top of my list. A man who I can TRUST. A man who I know in my heart would never cheat on me. And I would always feel SAFE with him. Emotional safety is first.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (12 April 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

You asked the wrong question my friend. It should be...

"What do women look for in a husband?"

Most women, if not all, never go looking for a boyfriend. They look for...THE ONE. That one guy who they can date and see if he is "the one" to marry and spend the rest of their lives with.

If you are looking to be a boyfriend, then you are looking for one thing only...nothing long term.

So...You should be asking yourself...Do I have the qualities to be a good husband, father, provider, protector, and life long companion.

If all of that if too complicated for you to deal with...then you are not ready.

Teach a man how to get a girlfriend, and he will always be looking for one.

Teach a man how to get a wife, and he will never have to look for a girlfriend...ever again.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2017):

It differs from one woman to another but in general every woman and indeed man want what they are lacking in their life.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (12 April 2017):

Anonymous 123 agony auntA decent guy with strong morals, a good education and holding a steady job. He should have the ability and courage to stand by her no matter what, love her unconditionally, respect her and those that she holds close to her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2017):

You will learn more from watching womens' actions than from listening to their advice about themselves.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 April 2017):

Honeypie agony auntIt depends on the woman, doesn't it?

I seriously doubt we ALL have the same standards and "wishes" when it comes to partners.

And the "wish list" change as we grow, learn and mature.

Sometimes we don't even KNOW what we want till we meet someone special.

But if you don't want generalizations I'd say:

Chemistry.

Humor.

Honor.

Integrity.

Intelligence.

Those would be my top 5.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (11 April 2017):

chigirl agony auntIt varies. Some wait for feelings. Some want a man who is their best friend. Some want to have fun. Some have an entire check-list.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (11 April 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntEveryone (male or female) has difference "deal breakers". Some superficial people insist on superficial things like flashy cars and lots of money. Sadly, if something happens and you can no longer provide the flashy cars and money, the superficial people also disappear.

People who are good long term bets are those who have the same values as you and want similar things out of life.

Personally, I find someone who lacks passion for anything in their life a complete no-no. I can listen to someone woffling about what they love - even if it is something I an not at all interested in (as long as it is not something I hate) - as long as they are passionate about it. People light up when they are passionate about something. You see that passion in their eyes.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2017):

Your woman will like you and expect you to like her also.

You need someone who will interact well with you and be happy to make plans with you.

It helps to be reliable.

Women in general prefer a man who shows up at a reasonable hour unless of course they are dating a shift worker.

They also tend to favour a potential partner who speaks reasonably with them and who doesnt get violent as a means to getting what they want.

Violent tendancies in a man are a general turnoff as women generally prefer a more balanced way of life!

Thuggery tends to be a deadend in the real world!

A real man doesnt expect to be waited upon by his wife and also partakes in household cleaning and childcare.

He also notices when his woman is ill and doesnt assume she should be doing everything because she has a 'cold' while he expects to be nursed when he has 'flu'!

A real man listens to his womans opinions about anything from politics to childcare.

Plus he actually buys birthday presents and personal gifts rather than assign someone else to.

He also doesnt automatically assume she has been shagging elsewhere if she is tired and wants to sleep rather than have sex because real women do get tired.

Forget about film women and look for a genuine person whose company you enjoy

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (11 April 2017):

Garbo agony auntWomen want to be adored, desired and shown attention, and having a great career, money and personality always helps and can offset lack of any good looks.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntWhat do people want when buying a car?

What food do people like?

What countries do people visit?

You can't answer because, whilst the general idea is the same (cars that are reliable, food that tastes good, countries that have what they want, etc.) everyone is different and more detailed answers aren't possible.

Women like men who know that not all women are the same and who are happy to learn what they like, not treat them as though they are the same as everyone else. Be a decent person and you've got the basics right - everything else is about finding the right person for you who feels you're also the right person for them.

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