| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Extremely close to my female best friend, slept together once... Now she's falling for me even though we agreed not to have "those" feelings
Q. I have this female best friend. We ar very close so close we know everything obout eachother ther is no secrets between us we tell eachother things no one else knows. We hang out every chance we get. We are so close that we have even slept together ...
A. 3 April 2017: Sorry dude, but you are her stopped being friends when you had sex. It became something more from that moment on. Time to face it. You can not go back to just being friends, so better make up your mind about what you want with her. Cut the ... (read in full...)
Why did this older woman have a thing for the guy I'm dating?
Q. Recently I've gotten together with someone my age.(24) I've known him for since he was 14 he lived down the street. We were at a bar andhis friend told me that when he was 17 he was fucking this woman when she was 32 years old. (She was in the same ...
A. 2 April 2017: Dont agree to meet her. Say you are not comfortable with it. And his friends are really bad people for spreading private information like this. Poor friends. I would worry that he tells them too much of his private life, which they go talk to others ... (read in full...)
He makes me feel rejected. Can anyone offer me some perspective on this situation?
Q. Hello aunts. I would really appreciate some advice please. I have been in a relationship for seven months now, and we see each other weekly as we live a little way from each other. In the main we are good together. There is lots of contact betwe...
A. 1 April 2017: Im afraid this is a type of deal breaker difference. There is nothing you or him can do to change it. You will always just feel rejected.
So sorry to say, but it could be wise to think about what you want out of a relationship and maybe it is be... (read in full...)
I'm ok with my sexless relationship but my friends think it's weird
Q. Hi there , I have been with my partner a year and a half yet in all that time we have only had sex 10 times we cuddle kiss hold hands but nothing more he was honest from the start and said he wasn't very sexual, this is ok with me however my friends ...
A. 31 March 2017: If you are fine and happy then screw what your friends say. Stop telling them these things if they are so negative. You clearly are not a very sexual person either, when you are satisfied with this level of intimacy. So it sounds like you are a ... (read in full...)
I have a chance of a full time job but feel guilty about leaving my supervisor in the lurch!
Q. I guess this is sort of a work relationship question. Basically I currently have a part time job where I work 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. However, due to the first quarter of the year being our slowest time,I've now been cut down to 5 hours ...
A. 30 March 2017: Apply for the other job. Then ask this question again if you are offered the position. ... (read in full...)
Was I being used, by her ?
Q. I was dating a girl for 5 weeks – I felt there was something special there and every time we met there was always at least one point where we both laughed so hard we were crying. We even had cute pet names for each other (I called her peach). ...
A. 29 March 2017: Leave her be. Whatever her reasons, she didnt see herself in a relationship with you. It happens. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her that on our break I paid for sex?
Q. Hi, my and my gf of 5 years have sort of had a bit of distance come between us, on my end mainly. She was always so insecure and sort of clingy and although I loved her it chipped away at me and I felt I needed space. We took space and things were ...
A. 29 March 2017: Depends on her. Is she the type of person who would like to know? Not all people would like to know. So it really depends on her.... (read in full...)
We booked a weekend away to save our relationship and he wants to play soccer! Am I selfish? Am I not a priority to him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having fighting almost non-stop for the last 3 weeks with things being hard since the new year. Every time we make up and promise not to fight, we do it again. We have been together almost 2 years and been through ...
A. 29 March 2017: He doesn't prioritize the relationship. And it's time to end things. A weekend away is not going to "fix" anything. Things can't be fixed like that. There's no such thing as "get back on track". You either have a healthy dynamic or you don't. A ... (read in full...)
Am I shallow for not wanting to have sex with her because she has herpes?
Q. I have a friend of around two years whom I am very close to, we were considering a relationship but due to the distance between us and financial difficulties on both ends we decided to just stay as friends for the foreseeable future. Despite t...
A. 29 March 2017: Oh, if we're going to talk about saving friendships, then just tell her that you value her too much as a friend, so wouldn't want to risk the friendship by having sex. Everyone knows that adding sex into the mix alters a friendships and usually ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend doesn't make any real effort to lose weight despite wanting to
Q. I've been in relationship with my girlfriend for about 7 months now. I liked her for her personality and character but her weight had always bothered me right from the start. She was actually slim just under 2 year back(she looked amazing) but gai...
A. 29 March 2017: End the relationship. You love her potential, not her. In these cases, the relationship will never be a sucsess. ... (read in full...)
Am I shallow for not wanting to have sex with her because she has herpes?
Q. I have a friend of around two years whom I am very close to, we were considering a relationship but due to the distance between us and financial difficulties on both ends we decided to just stay as friends for the foreseeable future. Despite t...
A. 29 March 2017: You are not shallow or a bad person. Get yourself checked though, if you havent. Chlamydia does not have any symotoms. So good to check for that. Just avoid the sexual talks with her, see if it fades away without you telling her directly. Or you can ... (read in full...)
Should I try online dating?
Q. As a male virgin who's never been on a date, never kissed a girl, and never had a girlfriend, I've been thinking a lot lately about trying online dating. I've never been competent at approaching women, it always results in rejection. In the pa...
A. 28 March 2017: In terms of losing weight, I have to pitch in that in my experience, the food marked in the states is designed to make people fat. I would in almost impossible to buy and make healthy food when I lived there. It was really difficult to find a store ... (read in full...)
Sex isn't going well with her, any advice?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for the last few weeks. We have had sex twice, and both times there were problems. I have had a problem maintaining an erection during sex. When I do have one and enter her; She is so tight it hurts ...
A. 28 March 2017: Yes, wait a bit more with sex. Get to know each other better. Then ask HER, and not us. If you're not yet comfortable talking to your girlfriend about the sex that you and her are having, then you're not ready to have sex with her in the first ... (read in full...)
Should I try online dating?
Q. As a male virgin who's never been on a date, never kissed a girl, and never had a girlfriend, I've been thinking a lot lately about trying online dating. I've never been competent at approaching women, it always results in rejection. In the pa...
A. 28 March 2017: Yes, you have to post a profile picture. Unless you want a strict online relationship, you would eventually have to MEET a woman, and she would SEE what you look like. So you are better off by showing your picture in the first place.
I recommen... (read in full...)
I like him but he doesn't stimulate me. Should I try again?
Q. Hi, I am under a lot of pressure by parents to get married, culturally, I'm old, 30. And my parents really care about whay others think. Anyways, I met a guy online. Sweet, untrustworthy guy, which is hard to find in a world full of untrustw...
A. 28 March 2017: No, this is not who you should be with. But you would benefit from looking at yourself and finding out what you actually want. It could be marriage is not for you. Are you brave enough to tell your parents this?... (read in full...)
I love her, I like her personality, and we've dated for 4 years in a LDR, but I have mixed feelings. Can I come to terms with the fact that she is hairy?
Q. I have been with this girl for almost 4 years by now, and according to how everything has proceeded (education/financial etc) it's time for making the advance for marriage, as has always been our plan. We have not had sex (saving for marriage...
A. 27 March 2017: I think that this is so serious, you should discuss this with her.
You can ask her about treatments for removal of facial hair/body hair. You can research if there are good method for more permanent solutions. Such as bleaching the hair. Or lacer... (read in full...)
I've lost all confidence in how to have a relationship
Q. Hi guys, I'm beginning to think I may be doing something wrong on my part in relation to females. I'm currently 25 years old, ive never had a girlfriend, never been on a date and the only sexual relationships I've had with girls have either ...
A. 27 March 2017: Go for it!
You can always flirt more discretely too, if you don't want the direct approach. Start by just a smile and a nod. Sitting next to her at a party without talking to her (acting as if you wanted to talk to the other person next to her e... (read in full...)
I've lost all confidence in how to have a relationship
Q. Hi guys, I'm beginning to think I may be doing something wrong on my part in relation to females. I'm currently 25 years old, ive never had a girlfriend, never been on a date and the only sexual relationships I've had with girls have either ...
A. 27 March 2017: What you are doing "wrong" is that you have talked to three girls who rejected a relationship/date with you. And so you think that three is a lot of women to ask?
Women tend to NOT be the ones who ask out men, but even I have asked out more men... (read in full...)
I've met the perfect guy but after getting back in contact with my ex I am confused
Q. I’ve been dating this seemingly perfect guy for the past couple of months and honestly the way he is with me and treats me is just perfect. I have a ‘check list’ of everything I want in a man he is everything and more BUT... Out of the blue my ex ...
A. 27 March 2017: As hard as it might sound, neither of these men are right for you.
To keep it simple, I will explain this using "the heart" and "the head". The heart wants your ex. You have chemistry there, with him. It feels amazing, he brings out laughter... (read in full...)
Phone sex with boyfriend turns out awfully wrong
Q. I don't know where to start but I've been in a relationship with my man for 5 years and he was never very colourful or expressive when we have phone sex. We recently got into a long distant relationship for 3 months since I'm studying. So these ...
A. 27 March 2017: Ok, just tell him that incest doesnt work for you. Simple. ... (read in full...)
Phone sex with boyfriend turns out awfully wrong
Q. I don't know where to start but I've been in a relationship with my man for 5 years and he was never very colourful or expressive when we have phone sex. We recently got into a long distant relationship for 3 months since I'm studying. So these ...
A. 26 March 2017: PS. I don't think he's turned on by incest. I just think he didn't think far enough ahead. To him, your brother is just another dude, not a brother. It's not HIS brother, so it doesn't cross his mind in the same way. ... (read in full...)
Phone sex with boyfriend turns out awfully wrong
Q. I don't know where to start but I've been in a relationship with my man for 5 years and he was never very colourful or expressive when we have phone sex. We recently got into a long distant relationship for 3 months since I'm studying. So these ...
A. 26 March 2017: Hahaha! Sorry for laughing, I understand this is terrible for you... But come on. It's hilarious. The man who doesn't want to masturbate, yet he does so on your command, and the result is that you throw up in your mouth.
Maybe you need to let h... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want kids but I do. My friends say that I should "trap" him. Is that my only option?
Q. Me and my husband have been together 8 years now and married for 2. Everybody that knows us have always said we are the best couple they've ever met as we love each other A LOT and would do anything for one another. It really is the perfect ...
A. 26 March 2017: The option your friend suggests will lead to divorce. The proper option is to face reality. You did not discuss this as you should have before marrying him. Did you ever tell him you absolutely want children, that it is not an option to not have ... (read in full...)
Whose last name do I give to my baby?
Q. My mom thinks I should give the baby the fathers last name but I don't think I should because I'm not married to him and he isn't in the picture. Won't that be an issue at school for my son and wherever I take him, if we have different last nam...
A. 25 March 2017: If dad is not in the picture, then you give baby your last name. You are his family. Not only will it make life easier, it will also be better for baby as it grows up to feel like part of your family, and not like part of a family that he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Please explain medical issues of virginity
Q. i had sex first time before one year, in a day about 3 times and i lost my virginity , i bled a medium... and want to know that if i will sex after two years.. should i bleed again or not? and what should i do to bleed again?...
A. 25 March 2017: You're not supposed to bleed when you have sex. The reason you bleed is because you're not lubricated/not prepared for sex. So you are not relaxed and you damage your skin which is why you bleed. Like when you stumble on your feet and hit your knee ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my boyfriend wants to get me pregnant?
Q. So I think my boyfriend wants me to get pregnant , without actually saying it . This is more of a question for the guys since they may know more about how they think. First of all we haven't been dating for long but he's already talked about get...
A. 25 March 2017: He wants you to get pregnant. Ask him directly, if this is what he wants, then the two of you need to have a proper chat about it, rather than "accidentally" make a baby.
Also, do YOU want a baby with someone you have not dated that long and when... (read in full...)
I want our first kiss and it's a now or never situation. How do I plan it?
Q. Hi, The situation: in new york, upcoming third date, "now or never" kiss her or become friend zoned; afterwards, I leave the country for three weeks. She is gorgeous, smart and kind, and says a tad serious while attracted to guys who make her l...
A. 25 March 2017: Kiss after the date. Doesn't matter if this is after the comedy club or if you go for drinks. Don't wait for the moment to just happen by itself, just go for it like this: Give her a loooong hug, then pull back only a little so that you can look her ... (read in full...)
Am I a sex addict? 101
Q. I just turned 31. I think about sex atleast every 30 minutes. I mentally undress every woman i See or imagine them having sex although im actually not interested in women sexually. My partner count is about 73 men and 2 women. To me a man has to ...
A. 24 March 2017: PS. You've gone 2 years without sex!!!!! No, you're not an addict. I have never gone that long, I wouldn't have lasted. 4-6 months is my maximum before I explode and will f- anything that moves. ... (read in full...)
Am I a sex addict? 101
Q. I just turned 31. I think about sex atleast every 30 minutes. I mentally undress every woman i See or imagine them having sex although im actually not interested in women sexually. My partner count is about 73 men and 2 women. To me a man has to ...
A. 24 March 2017: Just based on what you describe I would not say anything is wrong with you. People come in all forms and shapes, not everyone fit into the stereotypical or into the form of "how we are supposed to be".
Get your temper under control, though. ... (read in full...)
Is being too fast rude?
Q. Would you consider it rude if a guy gets off within two minutes if it's the first couple of times you've done anything together? I started dating a guy a couple months ago and we started taking out to the next level recently. So far we've done it ...
A. 24 March 2017: I would take it as a complement. You're so hot, he's unable to carry on for longer.
Besides this, what his body does is not really so much of a choice. The body has a mind of it's own. Some men take hours and hours to climax. But the average ... (read in full...)
Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around? Why is it that if a guy never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the majority of girls that have had their fair share of boyfriends or just been in a relationship before, ...
A. 23 March 2017: I think yes, a womans mind is that of an employer. She wants someone with experience, someone who knows what position he is looking for, and who doesn't need too much training for the position.
Not all women want this. Some enjoy "fresh blood" s... (read in full...)
Married five months and husband wants me to have an abortion.
Q. I've recently got married to my husband. We are very happy, and I have never felt more secure in all my life. We agreed to wait a few years before having children, and to focus on renovating our house which we brought before Christmas. We'll on ...
A. 23 March 2017: Woman, I do not read anywhere in your post that your husband actually said he wanted you to take an abortion! So why are you saying all these things, that you do not want to take it, that you believe he wants you to take an abortion etc etc etc? He ... (read in full...)
How can I get dates if I am not attractive enough for guys to ask me out or approach me in person?
Q. I just witnessed a girl right in front of me getting cold approached and hit on by guy while I am never hit on and/or approached by men. I am not intimidating because I notice guys cold approach women without sending signals to guys. In fact, ...
A. 21 March 2017: Do the asking yourself. My guess? You are too pretty /look too good. That scares guys. They get nervous and terrified. They are dead sure you would decline, so they are more comfortable asking another girl who they think is more in their own league. ... (read in full...)
Personal cleanliness? There has got to be a nice way to approach this! What would you do??
Q. I started seeing this guy about two months ago. We pretty much only hang out about two three nights a week when he'll come stay the night or weekend. We've known each other for a while now, we've taken our kids on play dates before etc. He's a...
A. 21 March 2017: Seriously, you sound a bit desperate if you are willing to date a guy and have him sleep over when you dont even like to kiss him. What is the point in having him over? Just to be able to say you have a man? Being single sounds a lot better. I say ... (read in full...)
Miscarried and I'm not over it
Q. Hi all I'm a 20 year old woman and I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. We're currently saving for a house. He is in a full time job while I've been drifting from job to job (whilst looking for a full time serious job). I have been ...
A. 17 March 2017: It often is this way, that the woman needs more time than the man to be okay again after a miscarriage. After all, the man didn't bond with it like the woman does, from such an early stage. Only the woman knows that there is a little life in her ... (read in full...)
I love her but I am nervous about the pressure to marry her so soon after the start of our LDR relationship. How should I respond to this pressure?
Q. Dear all i've been with my girlfriend since June last year and we've not had any problems. I've had 3 girlfriends before her but nothing has even come close to this. I know that she is the right one for me. She is probably the only person...
A. 17 March 2017: I know the feeling of wanting to do something, but being worried of what others might think or say. It's not easy to go against the current, or go against what others want us to do. But after all, it is YOUR life. You have the right to make the ... (read in full...)
Am I justified to break up with him?
Q. I'm going through a mixed phase right now with my bf. Recently, I've been reflecting on our relationship for the past 5 years, and I'm wondering whether I should just move on because I just don't feel happy anymore. We have been dating for 5 yea...
A. 17 March 2017: If your bf has depression he is not lazy! After 5 years with him I would have thought you would know more about depression than to belittle a serious diagnosis. Unless he does not have a diagnos at all, and you are thinking throwing statements about ... (read in full...)
I feel it's okay to say no to babysitting my husband's sister's children!
Q. My husband and I are both 26 and have been married for half a year. His sister is 10 years older and married with a 2 year old and a 4 year old. I'm neutral to kids but my husband absolutely adores them. However neither of us are interested in ...
A. 17 March 2017: Sure its fair to say no. But dont expect a nice family welcome next time you meet them. People, especially family, do each other favours. Besides, if your husband wants to, then let him! You can go do your own thing.
Dont expect to ever get any ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to get married without a proposal?
Q. Hi, I have a question and would appreciate your help. I'm 40 and my boyfriend of 2 months is 44. We both have a kid from our previous marriage. He is a professor and I'm a nurse. I know it's too soon but things are going so well and fast! He is ...
A. 17 March 2017: "Others are together for 5 years, 15 years, 30 years and break up."
Exactly. You can't wait for 30 years just to test if the relationship/marriage would last another 30 years. Life is short.
But do check into his finances first. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to get married without a proposal?
Q. Hi, I have a question and would appreciate your help. I'm 40 and my boyfriend of 2 months is 44. We both have a kid from our previous marriage. He is a professor and I'm a nurse. I know it's too soon but things are going so well and fast! He is ...
A. 17 March 2017: I don't think it's unusual. Couples often come to an agreement about wanting to marry, its rarely (or shouldn't be) a surprise question.
I don't see the point of having a "proposal" either. The point of it is missing in these modern times. Y... (read in full...)
I think having sex with another girl will get these crazy depressing thoughts out of my head!
Q. well, im in a relationship for about a year with this girl and we both love each other a lot. While she is my first gf, im not her first bf, she had one before me who she really loved as well (i know this because a knew her back then) it was a long ...
A. 16 March 2017: Ha! Aren't you naive. You think cheating and having sex will help solve the problem? Maybe, but it will add like ten or twenty other problems, and it will surely mark the end of your relationship.
This is new to you. Sex is new. Feeling these bi... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
