| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I think I am pregnant and the dad has disappeared.
Q. Well. I met a guy months ago. We went out 3 times. At the 2nd one we had sex. I was the one who brought the sexual topic to the conversation. After sex we had sex once more. And the condom didn't work. I think I'm probably pregnant. He started ...
A. 15 January 2017: Get a pregnancy test first off all and find out if you are in fact pregnant. If you are, then get a hold of him. It's not that difficult, because you DO KNOW people who know him, even if they are not added on facebook. You know them in REAL LIFE and ... (read in full...)
What kind of dating etiquette should I go by?
Q. Sometimes when I go on a date with people, I'm not quite sure how it went. Sometimes I think it went well and I don't hear back from them. Is it worth messaging and saying "hey, would you like go on another date?" even after a a few days after date ...
A. 13 January 2017: Do not ask if she feels it's more of a friendship chemistry. Why? Because that implies that YOU find it to be more like friendship chemistry. If you want her to think of you as a friend, then mention the word "friend". If you want her to think of ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 5 months constantly mentions how good looking he is
Q. Dear Cupid, I (25 years old) have recently started going out with a 26 year old guy. He is a gentleman, treats me well, but I've noticed one red flag (or at least, I think it is a red flag) about him. He constantly mentions how good looking he ...
A. 13 January 2017: Honestly... This is a red flag. And I am not sure Id continue to date/be in a relationship with a guy who dares to say all my exes are ugly and compare them to his own exes as if it was some beauty competition. He sounds incredibly shallow, and ... (read in full...)
Could it be her using fake profiles?
Q. I would like your opinions about what has happened four times in the last four months, i have been on a dating site for few years now, I've had two girlfriends,so the one ghost me a year ago, I've ask a few women friends of mine about this, well I ...
A. 13 January 2017: I also think it could be her, but it could just as well be someone else entirely who is playing games with your head. Don't write back to such profiles. If it's their first day, wait a day or two before you write back. And don't write to profiles ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Is she being unreasonable? Would be unprofessional to tell her what transpired, when I was asked not to by my management?
Q. I was called into a meeting today at work to discuss something, which wasn't a HUGE deal but which was asked to be kept confidential until he other people involved had been informed. My friend at work asked me what the meeting was about and I sa...
A. 12 January 2017: Your friend at work is stuck up or having a bad day. Of course it'd be unprofessional of you to disclose what the meeting was about when you were told specifically not to. Your loyalty is to your work first and foremost, not your colleague friend. ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to masturbate?
Q. Being a sportsperson I masturbate , is it okay to do it? I have heard it decreases stamina etc..just please help ....
A. 12 January 2017: What you hear is just lies. It doesn't do anything bad to your body at all. Masturbate away!... (read in full...)
Will guys reject me because of my physical flaw? Would this bother a guy?
Q. hey, I would love people to reply , it would help me so much. thanks. I am trying to work on my self esteem but 4 years ago I was in a bad place struggling with my identity. I rushed into getting a tattoo on my calf. Its quite large, its a vinta...
A. 12 January 2017: No, it would not bother a guy. Because if he ever was to get you naked and in a position where you'd not wear the cover makeup, he'd be focusing on completely other parts of your body than your calf. Trust me. There's no sex position I can think of ... (read in full...)
I don't fantasize about other men so is it wrong that I feel upset that my husband uses porn?
Q. I've read a lot of information on porn use following some tension between my husband and I over his use of it . When we first married I did tell him that I was not wanting to be in a relationship with someone who used porn and he assured me he ...
A. 12 January 2017: Let me rephrase your headline question:
I don't do this, so is it wrong to expect that no one else does?
Yes. That is wrong. What you do, and the choices you make, is your privilege. What others do is THEIR privilege. Not yours.
Now, ... (read in full...)
His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?
Q. How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...
A. 11 January 2017: Then you need to tell him this. This, that you wrote last in your follow-up, it sums it up nicely. I think he will understand, but you need to be brave enough to talk to him about it. Perhaps this is the very reason he didn't propose in person, ... (read in full...)
She flirts with me at work but flat out rejected an invitation out. What now?
Q. I have liked a woman at work a lot and I was sure she felt the same, we are both bi-sexual. We've been flirting loads but I know she's not had a partner or sex in 14 years (she told me)and does seem to have a lot of walls up. However she has ...
A. 11 January 2017: Why on earth would you want to date a woman who you know has been saying bad things behind your back...? Have some self respect. Stay away from this bad person. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lost his job, became depressed and now won't speak to me!
Q. I'm in a pretty bad situation. I dated a guy for 6 months long distance and were very serious- he met my family, I spoke to his, our parents talked- we were on the marriage track. 4 months into it he told me that he was unemployed. It threw me for a ...
A. 11 January 2017: He is not a good man for you, you need to listen to this. He does not want a relationship, and a man who does not want a relationship will NEVER be a good boyfriend or a boyfriend at all. You're completely ignoring this simple fact. Does not matter ... (read in full...)
His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?
Q. How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...
A. 10 January 2017: I wish people would stop asking permission to feel a feeling, or ask if they are "right" to feel a certain way. Listen, you feel the way you do, it's irrelevant whether other people agree with the way you feel! It's YOUR feeling, you are adult, so ... (read in full...)
Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?
Q. My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...
A. 10 January 2017: You had reason to lie. Your girlfriend is abusive. You should not take her back. Believe me, this is just manipulation and her punishing you. She will try to take you back, pretending she is being kind in doing so. Do not take her back, for you and ... (read in full...)
Is it normal we haven't got into a fight yet? And is it good or bad?
Q. Okay so basically I've been told by a couple of my friends that its not good my boyfriend and I haven't actual fought yet. We've been together for a little over four months, we irritate and annoy each other at points but we haven't actually...
A. 10 January 2017: Its good. Your friends are just jealous.... (read in full...)
Do women dream about male virgins too?
Q. Dear female cupids Many men dream of making love to a virgin Girl and teach her all about sex. Do women dream about male virgins too? Personally I haven't had this Kind of desire, although i lost my own virginity to another virgin. My ...
A. 10 January 2017: Ah, that's the classic student/teacher fantasy. I love those. They work for me in all scenarios, even boss/secretary, young/old etc, and doesn't matter to me which gender is in each role. It's a classic. One is the seducer, the taker, the other is ... (read in full...)
Do women dream about male virgins too?
Q. Dear female cupids Many men dream of making love to a virgin Girl and teach her all about sex. Do women dream about male virgins too? Personally I haven't had this Kind of desire, although i lost my own virginity to another virgin. My ...
A. 9 January 2017: Yes, there are women who like this fantasy/like male virgins. It's not as hyped up in porn, because porn is made primarily for men to watch. But if you read romance novels, which are very sexual as well, it's the type of porn women read... There are ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lost his job, became depressed and now won't speak to me!
Q. I'm in a pretty bad situation. I dated a guy for 6 months long distance and were very serious- he met my family, I spoke to his, our parents talked- we were on the marriage track. 4 months into it he told me that he was unemployed. It threw me for a ...
A. 9 January 2017: Im sorry to say this, but this is what happens when you don't accept a break up. He broke up with you several months ago, and you refused to listen. He is not your boyfriend, he finds your calls and messages annoying and like harrassing him, he ... (read in full...)
He still has a dating profile up ...
Q. My new boyfriend ( of 2 week ) still has a dating profile online , hes open about it and says he has 'friends' on there . should i tell him he needs to prove theyre friends by showing me the conversations hes having or demand he deletes his profile ...
A. 9 January 2017: Yes, he is keeping it because he doesn't think your relationship will last, so he doesn't want to stop the contact his has with the other "potentials" online.
If they were real friends he'd have added them elsewhere to keep contact with them, no... (read in full...)
His behavior has me asking if he is bisexual!
Q. Hey everyone, Thanks for taking the time to hear me out. I met my boyfriend in college almost 3 years ago. We've gotten along great and haven't had any serious issues...until now. I've just recently noticed that his behavior is a little od...
A. 5 January 2017: What you should do is accept him the way he is and stop trying to force a label over his head. He obviously doesn't want a label! And what does it matter really, if you get to call him bisexual or not? What difference does it make? It's not like ... (read in full...)
He promised to change if we got married ....
Q. I am currently married 5 moths this January, we where engaged for a year and dated a year and 1/2 prior to that. Well now I want a divorce! My husband is the man I married and he swore that after we got ,arrived things would change, but still 5 ...
A. 5 January 2017: You should never believe someone if they tell you they will change, or something will change after this or that. It never does!
In your case your husband swore he'd stop accusing you after you married. That was just his excuse to get you to marry... (read in full...)
Boyfriend kissed another guy while drunk as a 'joke'. Are my thoughts on this incident justifyable or am I being too uptight about this?
Q. Hello all, Yesterday my bf of 6 years told me he'd kissed a guy he knew, while drunk, full on the mouth during a concert a few months back. It happened in a joking context, he added. Because of this context, he does not see a problem with it....
A. 3 January 2017: I had a boyfriend once who drunkenly kissed my brother. Also just on a dare to test limits and have a good time. A kiss is a kiss though. I just told him (both my brother and then boyfriend) that I thought it was crossing the line and not ok. Not ... (read in full...)
What are the best sexual positions for a man with a 3 inch erection?
Q. My b/f of 2 years has what might be called a small penis. I dont ever feel he is inside of me. He has tried pumps (no good) creams (useless) and even a thing he attached to himself when he had an erection, which he would ware for up to what seemed ...
A. 3 January 2017: First off, penis enlargement is fake crap. It's not ever gong to work, what you're born with is what you get. Second, women do not orgasm through intercourse. We orgasm through clitoral stimulation. His penis size is irrelevant for your orgasm. You ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got distracted while texting me
Q. Please tell me if I should be pissed here. My bf and I were having a conversation by text and right in the middle of it, he disappears. Stops texting. So I texted him "u went away?" Then about 5-10 minutes later he replied "sorry I got distracted...
A. 3 January 2017: Are you doing well with your own life? This sort of irrational behavour and strange logic points to you perhaps having difficulties in life you're not handling very well, and you are taking it out on your boyfriend.
My father, who has bipolar ... (read in full...)
Are my dreams of him significant?
Q. i have reoccurring dreams about my ex-boyfriend who left me after 12 years and married someone else but always called and drop by unexpected. he passed away 3 years ago and I still have dreams about seeing him and his wife together. a few days ...
A. 3 January 2017: He sounds like he was someone you tried to get rid of, and that you still havent been able to remove the parts of you that he controlled. You need to look at yourself and find the traits that keep you prisoned. Your dreams tell you you need to move ... (read in full...)
How can I beat this loneliness?
Q. I need some advice on being lonely. I've been feeling so lonely that I cry myself to sleep every night. I feel that I have nothing to live for. All I do is go to work or school and have absolutely zero social interactions. I hate coming home and...
A. 2 January 2017: Oh and I almost forgot to tell you: it gets better. When you grow older you get more freedom to seek out like minded people. It gets better then. ... (read in full...)
How can I beat this loneliness?
Q. I need some advice on being lonely. I've been feeling so lonely that I cry myself to sleep every night. I feel that I have nothing to live for. All I do is go to work or school and have absolutely zero social interactions. I hate coming home and...
A. 2 January 2017: When you are this young it is still hard. I know how you feel, I was absolutely alone too when I was a teenager. I didn't have real friends until after high school, and then some years. I had acquaintances, at most, who also never invited me ... (read in full...)
Should my BF come to a wedding on his birthday? What would be appropriate to do in this situation?
Q. I've been in a relationship for 3 months now and all is going well. We've met each other's friends and spend lots of time together. He's very considerate and caring. I am very happy! However, I'm a chronic worrier and tend to worry wore somet...
A. 2 January 2017: This is some of the things you need to stop worrying about, because these things really do not matter in life. Stop THINKING on his behalf. You want him there? Invite him. So you did. He wants to come? Then he will come. He doesn't want to come, ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 2 January 2017: Fourth and fifth date now completed. The fifth date stretched out into a full weekend and I am happy to say I am no longer single :p
PS. Yes, I was the brave one to ask him how many more dates it would take to get him to be my boyfriend. You gott... (read in full...)
I have a serious health issue and cannot have penetrative sex. Will I ever be able to have a normal relationship?
Q. Guys, would you date a 29-year old woman who is unable to have penetrative sex and unable to bear children? I'm wondering because you guessed it: that person is me. I have a really bad case of vaginismus (had it all my life for as far as I can tel...
A. 28 December 2016: I think it can happen for you, you just have a harder time at it than some of the others. But there are several people who face different obstacles when it comes to finding a partner in life, and you are not the first and only person who has an ... (read in full...)
Should I marry a man I don't love? Is it time to settle?
Q. Should I marry a man I don't love? I have a friend who really likes me I told him that I really like his company, I think he's a nice person but there is no spark. He told me that despite the fact I don't love him he would wait for me and marry...
A. 28 December 2016: This depends on whether or not you HAVE to be married by 35. Unless someone will chop your head off unless you are married by 35, I honestly do not see why you're rushing this.
If you want to marry to have kids and have stability and you want to ... (read in full...)
I like men but sometimes I want to see what it would be like to have a relationship with a woman also.
Q. I like men alot but I want to see what it would be like to date a woman since I once had a fantasy of my fourth grade teacher years ago in my mind. She had ginger hai I also would look for red haired women in the Internet and would kiss their ...
A. 28 December 2016: I don't know if there is anything to come out about. You have a fantasy. I think everyone has fantasies. If you happen to actually fall in love with a woman, you can come out as a bisexual or lesbian or whatever you feel you identify yourself with. ... (read in full...)
I am having difficulty with my girlfriend's son
Q. Hi guys, im 8 months into a relationship with my girlfriend and things are goin great with us, we have such a laugh when we are together, but im having a very hard time warming to her 12 year old son who lives with her, sometimes hes fine but most ...
A. 27 December 2016: If you're not allowed to parent him, then you definitely can not live together and I wouldn't even recommend you date. I've not dated anyone with a kid, but I have worked with kids and in work environments with loads of kids, and having to put my ... (read in full...)
I'm dating but I'm also developing stronger feeling for another guy. Not sure what to do. Help, please?
Q. I started university in September and have formed a good group of friends. I have started to date one of the guys in the group privately and I know he has fairly strong feelings for me. However, I have been talking a lot with one of the other guy...
A. 27 December 2016: Don't continue with guys nr.1, that's for sure! You don't semm interested in him at all, he sounds like someone you date just to pass time. As in, if nothing else interesting is happening you are dating him, so at least you won be bored....
You d... (read in full...)
What should I do to meet the right guy?
Q. Hi everyone, I am feeling like I'll never find someone. I am South Asian American and south Asian guys don't like me, or maybe I think they don't like me. Or I just don't like them. My parents want me to be with someone who shares my culture but I...
A. 27 December 2016: Or, you can date a Caucasian guy since your Asian appearance will make your kids look Asian too. It's a very strong gene. I don't know if your kid will look that much like as Asian if you have one with a black man. But the kid probably will have a ... (read in full...)
Does sending me picture of her stomach tattoo with the bottom of her breasts just visible mean she’s flirting with me?
Q. So I have a friend and we live far apart but we text a lot. I don't know her super well yet but I am getting to know her, I enjoy her company on the phone and she is kind of cute. We often send each other photos of our day to day life. We got onto ...
A. 23 December 2016: Could be she is just socially awkward, or she was flirting. Someone not flirting and understanding in common decency would wear a bra or put a shirt on to cover the boobs. Bur then again she did make a point out of saying she tried to be decent.
... (read in full...)
My wife is not interested in group sex. How can I stop having an urge to participate in group sex? I need to stop these urges, but how?
Q. I have always fantasized about group sex. While there is nothing unusual about this, I'mean worried that the degree to which I want it is harmful. My wife and I have been married for twenty years and about a decade ago I decided that it was my o...
A. 23 December 2016: I think avoiding it can help, over time, like you're already trying. But that also means avoid thinking about it.
Or, indulge in it fully. With or without your wife knowing about it. Not cheating, but enjoy the fantasy to the fullest. Buy the ... (read in full...)
Do girls start to like guys if they spend this much time together? Or will I remain as just a friend?
Q. Hi everyone. I have question about this girl I like. Main question is does she like me? Background info about the situation. I have moved to a new country 6 months ago. I met this girl 4 months ago at a meetup. Meetup is where you go meet rand...
A. 23 December 2016: This is bad.
Sorry to say this, but you should never have moved in with her. You KNEW you liked her as more than friends, yet you lied to her and pretend to be just a friend, and you let her lower her guard around you because she thinks you resp... (read in full...)
I'm in a FWB. Does his actions seem like he may like me more than sex?
Q. This is a question about FWB (friends with benefits) or a FB (f**k buddy) situation. There is a man that I have this type of relationship with. He confuses me because he is very affectionate with me around his friends, invites me to gatherings at ...
A. 23 December 2016: PDA is a cultural thing more than anything else, as far as I am aware. For example, take my Spanish neighbor. He's all hugs and kisses on the cheek when we meet, although I hardly know him, he's just my neighbor and I don't even remember his name. ... (read in full...)
How common is rejection for the first ever date attempt in life?
Q. I've been doing a great deal of inner work lately, and I wonder how much it "wired" me when I was rejected the first time I ever asked someone out, at 17. It would help me to know if this is common or unusual. If you are a guy, were you or any ...
A. 22 December 2016: Why is your question different for girls and boys? Dont you know women get rejected too? Its not always women who do the rejection. My first time doing either or, I was the one being rejected! The first five times or so I was the one being ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to let a guy know you are a cheater?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am a firm believer if you do something to somebody it is right to return what has been done to you.I was in a relationship with this guy for years a little over some years.He would cheat,lie,and make babies on me. I would look past it ...
A. 22 December 2016: No. Its a good idea to work on yourself and learning self respect and being the better person, and not let the actions of others turn you into an equally poorly behaved person. That means if someone cheats on you, you end the relationship. You dont ... (read in full...)
I'm in a FWB. Does his actions seem like he may like me more than sex?
Q. This is a question about FWB (friends with benefits) or a FB (f**k buddy) situation. There is a man that I have this type of relationship with. He confuses me because he is very affectionate with me around his friends, invites me to gatherings at ...
A. 22 December 2016: I think it sounds like you have the perfect arrangement, unless you are uncomfortable with the PDA and meeting his friends. There is no rule to say that FWB should only meet in secret and never show signs of affection or be passionate. Such little ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 21 December 2016: Third date over now, and it was just as great :) He drove to my city after work and picked me up from my work and then we went to my place and took the dogs out for a walk (he has a dog as do I). The dogs went along just fine after the initial ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 17 December 2016: So you guys wanted to know how it went? It was amazing. Im falling head over heels here. First he comes to pick me up and just takes my arm as we walk to the car (yes, he went out of his car not just sitting in it while waiting for me..) and opens ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 16 December 2016: This is the dress I had in mind, if links work here... It's dusty pink, looks darker pink in the picture than in real life.
http://i.0oo.se/20/gradina-skjortklanning.jpg ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 15 December 2016: *bring ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 15 December 2016: Thanks all! And yes, Tisha, I think that is exactly what I will do. And I ended up texting him and asked what to wear, haha! He said he would wear a shirt and tie, so Im definitely going with the cute dress. And will being my jewelry to bring it up ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 15 December 2016: Haha, now Im even more unsure. I talked to a friend and she said to just wear pants and a nice top. The church is liberal/open to all, so dont think they have any restrictions on what to wear. But I did originally want to wear the cute dress and ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
