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| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
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Should I tell my parents I'm gay?
Q. hi i am a 15 year old teen boy i dont know if im gay i think i am because i find teen boys and models very attractive my mother send my to a doctor a social worker because im very introvent dont talk much with people. when i am home im just indoors ...
A. 22 September 2011: wait till you're a bit older. if you are as it states on here between 13-15 then i think there is a higher chance of things going wrong and you not being able to deal with it for any number of reasons. even though i am gay i do realise that ... (read in full...)
I participated in the character assasination of a teacher and want to make things right
Q. This is going to be a little long, but do stay put and offer a way to get through this mess I'm in: This is about a 40 year old guy we used to have in our last semester. He was, first of all, a GREAT, and I do mean GREAT---academic...
A. 22 September 2011: if i was him would i want you as a friend? unlikely
move on and stop worrying about it. your class as a whole made these allegations primarily because he was nice to people who kissed his ass and graded everyone else harsh from what you said. th... (read in full...)
Should I continue with my 'affair'?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for two years now, I love him so much. The thought of him not being by my side just makes me feel so depressed. During out first 6-8 month, he was cheating on me with this guy, I saw plenty of emails. I don't know if ...
A. 14 September 2011: your man broke the boundaries of your relationship first which means the trust was already gone and with that gone its not really a relationship, more just an idea and a feeling that doesn't tie too accurately to reality. this "affair guy" sounds ... (read in full...)
We have sex but he pursues girls, too. I think he has trouble admitting to being gay...
Q. Ok ... I'm in love with my best friend. He's younger than me. We have sex, we talk and we behave like two people who are in a committed relationship. HE, however, hasn't made peace yet with the fact that he's gay. So, I don't understand how he is ...
A. 1 September 2011: he is taking the piss, stop sleeping with him and do yourself a favour.
he wants a piece of every pie...... (read in full...)
We have sex but he pursues girls, too. I think he has trouble admitting to being gay...
Q. Ok ... I'm in love with my best friend. He's younger than me. We have sex, we talk and we behave like two people who are in a committed relationship. HE, however, hasn't made peace yet with the fact that he's gay. So, I don't understand how he is ...
A. 1 September 2011: he is taking the piss, stop sleeping with him and do yourself a favour.
he wants a piece of every pie...... (read in full...)
Getting him to open up?
Q. So, last winter, a was a having bi-curious thoughts, and a boys told me he liked me. He asked me out, but after a little bit of flirting, I turned him down. Eight months later, I broke up with my gifriend and realized I liked him. He never stopped ...
A. 1 September 2011: he's messing you around-he may be afraid of intimacy but thats not your problem. he needs to mature
chasing him will be a wild goose chase... (read in full...)
I enjoy having sex with my male cousin. Should I be so scared about others finding out?
Q. Hi everybody, this is me confessing something I would never tell anyone. While I wish I can write more in details about it, I'm making it short. This is also a gay thing, so if you are not comfortable about it don't read further. I am not very ...
A. 1 September 2011: if you get away with it once a year then so be it, but you are on shaky ground. if anyone found out then it would cause big issues but also, how is your sex life with your girl friend?
if its only once a year then keep it hidden.
it could all ... (read in full...)
I'm a straight guy who likes a bisexual guy!
Q. I am a 20 year old straight guy who is in love with a bisexual guy, but I don't see myself with any other man, I don't find other guys attractive nor imagine myself with them nor want to spend any quality time with them. Only him. But the problem is ...
A. 1 September 2011: look some people fall in love with a person which is what you have here, stop trying to categorise things and just let him know how you feel about him specifically.
go for it and lay your heart out- you only live once
good luck
... (read in full...)
Why does he want a trial marriage if we have already been G/f and B/f for two years already?
Q. I was out to dinner with my boyfriend tonight and I asked him what his reservations are about getting married. He told me that he wanted to live together first because he wanted a trial run to see if we were compatible. I feel after two years he s...
A. 14 August 2011: are you paying rent? and does he intend to pay rent for living at your parents? important questions indeed. maybe he is not ready for the responsibility of marriage. ... (read in full...)
He seemed too good to be true and I don't want to lose him. But he hasn't contacted me since. What can I do?
Q. Last night I was standing outside of the bar and a very attractive guy approached my (guy) friend and me looking for a lighter. We both pulled out a lighter but I told him that he should take mine because it was lucky- and he did. After talking to h...
A. 14 August 2011: have you tried to contact him? maybe it is up to you to make an effort. if he doesn't respond so be it. take a chance... (read in full...)
First-timer wants to play safe
Q. hello i need help im about to have my first anal intercourse with someone who i met online and is 10 years older than me he says hes clean but he told me stories about how he lost his virginity and what he likes to do and by the looks of it he ...
A. 12 August 2011: fisting is a warning sign. its an extreme act that is not healthy for your future continence.
i would go with my gut and avoid someone who seems dirty and is into risky behaviours... (read in full...)
My ex says "when you change we can be friends again"
Q. Hi, i'm gay and has just recently broken up with my bisexual boyfriend. I can tell he's bisexual because he left me for another girl who had been trying to get between us and seduce him while we were together. We've broken up for more than 3 week...
A. 8 August 2011: if you dont want contact with a person it is up to you to keep them out of your life than the other way around.
you dont have to answer his texts or calls.
chose to be free of this situation and then something better will come along after all ... (read in full...)
I want to leave him but so much is at stake!
Q. Hi everyone just want some advice. I've been with this guy for 3yrs now. We live together but there is alot of problems. I have notice that he doesn't treat me as nice as he treats others around him. He is always grumpy with me. Never smiles or says ...
A. 8 August 2011: so much is at stake? you get nothing out of this relationship, put loads in and you worry about what you are going to lose?
what you have is not a relationship, its a one sided situation where you are used as a slave and provider.
move on. you ... (read in full...)
Is my best friend trying to ruin our friendship?
Q. Having an issue with my best friend. So, my best friend is gay, and, honestly, I thought that was the best kind of friend. A guy who could give me advice in fashion, be blunt about how I look, y'know. But recently he's been skinning me off... Like, ...
A. 7 August 2011: he's being a twat. part of being in a friendship is learning what behaviour to NOT tolerate from another person.
if you do something because someone screams at you, then you are teaching them thats how to get what they want.
he doesn't sound li... (read in full...)
Is this cheating?
Q. Is it cheating to make a profile on a dating site and chat to singles,with the intent of meeting? I cought my gf doing this and she said it was just to pass time, because she is at home all day doing nothing (I'm the only one that works). What...
A. 4 August 2011: she's on the hunt for your replacement and i wouldn't be happy myself.
she's taking the piss... (read in full...)
Flatmate is driving me nuts! how do I deal with it?
Q. Not exactly a relationhsip question, but I am having a problem with my flatmate. She is a really good friend of mine, and we have lived together before, but for the last few months she has done nothing but complain constantly, about everything. She ...
A. 4 August 2011: she sounds depressed, its not your job to fix her. ask her is she happy or enjoying life and then ask her when she last enjoyed it. ask her if she wants to enjoy life? if so look into counselling and therapy.
there could be some major aspect o... (read in full...)
Dumped without a word after five years together. How can I be happy with someone else now?
Q. hi, please I need some help; I have been in a relationship with a guy that I really loved, and still do, for about five years, things wern't always good and we had some separations but we always ended up together..about a month ago and without any ...
A. 3 August 2011: you need closure- find him and have it out with him, OR realise he is a piece of shit and that things were deteriorating for some time.
anyone who all of a sudden without warning cuts you out of their life simply cannnot cope with you anymore,... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that my boyfriend lied about going to a club where he has picked up guys in the past?
Q. I'm a guy in a long distance relationship with a guy. We see each other a lot though, about ten days out of the month. Yesterday he texted me that he was going to a restaurant with some friends. Today, I saw pictures on facebook from a night out ...
A. 2 August 2011: seems like the distance between you is causing a lot of insecurity. which is natural.
if you don't trust him how is this relationship going to work?
how long have you two been seeing each other?... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that my boyfriend lied about going to a club where he has picked up guys in the past?
Q. I'm a guy in a long distance relationship with a guy. We see each other a lot though, about ten days out of the month. Yesterday he texted me that he was going to a restaurant with some friends. Today, I saw pictures on facebook from a night out ...
A. 2 August 2011: seems like the distance between you is causing a lot of insecurity. which is natural.
if you don't trust him how is this relationship going to work?
how long have you two been seeing each other?... (read in full...)
I'm starting to become gay but I want to fall in love with a woman
Q. im a 16 yo guy that is struggling with the most weird thing that could have happened to me, being gay. it all started when i was very little, probably 10-11 when i had my 1st erections. i remember that anytime i saw a muscled guy my penis will just ...
A. 24 July 2011: sounds like you have some sort of muscle admiration, and have a degree of bisexuality that you say leans more towards the males side of attraction.
you are still young but if you fall in love with women but are not sexually attracted to them the... (read in full...)
He disappeared after our second date...and I miss him so much I cry myself to sleep!
Q. I dated someone twice. Then, he disappeared - he didn't make contact with me after the second date. I haven't seen / heard from him for 2 weeks now. I'm disappointed and confused. I'm too embarrassed to call him because the last time we met (2nd...
A. 22 July 2011: he played you and now you feel hurt and used. sometimes men do this.
next time get to know someone for a longer amount of time.
this happens to a lot of people. i've been there myself. its crappy, but it WILL FADE
if he cared for you he woul... (read in full...)
I'm not fully aroused during intercourse, is there something wrong with me?
Q. HELP! I'm getting really close to a fantastic girl, we really like eachother but there's a problem.... I'm not confident... I've been sexually active for a while now but have Only had full sexual intercourse twice with 2 different girls......
A. 22 July 2011: it can be difficult to orgasm while wearing a condom if you are not that attracted to someone. what i'm saying is don't have sex with people you are not interested in just for the sake of having had sex.
being nervous in a situation that isn't wh... (read in full...)
I'm not fully aroused during intercourse, is there something wrong with me?
Q. HELP! I'm getting really close to a fantastic girl, we really like eachother but there's a problem.... I'm not confident... I've been sexually active for a while now but have Only had full sexual intercourse twice with 2 different girls......
A. 22 July 2011: it can be difficult to orgasm while wearing a condom if you are not that attracted to someone. what i'm saying is don't have sex with people you are not interested in just for the sake of having had sex.
being nervous in a situation that isn't wh... (read in full...)
Yesterday was my first blind date. Any insight on how it went?
Q. yesterday, for the first time in my life, I went on a blind date... strangest experience ever! I don't go on dates (let alone blind ones) all too often, but it actually wasn't half bad, something to cross off the bucket list xP A friend who waitr...
A. 21 July 2011: you need another date, not more speculation. take it from me, one date does not a relationship YET make.
meet him again and see if the feelings are the same.
good luck things seem good x... (read in full...)
I'm 27, she's 20 and a friend's sister's friend, is this a problem?
Q. I met a girl at a party the other day and we got on well although we were both quite drunk and I didn't think anything of it (Just assumed we were casually talking - i've never been good with signs!). After however friends of mine were saying t...
A. 21 July 2011: dont worry about the age gap. meet up with her and dotn worry about your friend, if he has a problem with it at this age he needs to grow up.
hopefully things will go well. good luck!... (read in full...)
What is the average amount of sex to have per week?
Q. Hi Guys, What is an average amount of sex to have per week? My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year and have sex once every 1-1.5 weeks. I feel like this isn't enough but maybe I'm the one with high hopes and will always be disapp...
A. 21 July 2011: mismatched sex drives? yes... (read in full...)
I don't think he's gay, but he kissed me on the lips. Why?
Q. hey, i've been hanging out with this guy recently and stuff, and a few days ago he kissed me. i'm not gay, at least I don't think i am. I don't think he is either, he's jokingly called people 'f**king fairies' and such. and it was weird he ...
A. 21 July 2011: was it a kiss on the lips or a "french kiss", there is a bit of a difference.
french kissing is way more sexual.
dont go telling loads of people anyway.
sounds bit gay though. talk to him rather than other people. ... (read in full...)
What does my ex boyfriend want from me?
Q. I'm a gay guy and I had a boyfriend. We were together for 4 years but then we had to break up by my initiative. After our break-up I left the town for some months. I wanted to relax and to start a new life. Time ago I returned, because I had to ...
A. 20 July 2011: he's angry and taking it out on you as he blames you for the relationship ending.
maybe he cannot move on if you are always in the same places. but really he needs to grow up and move on.
i dont think you are leaving him alone. you are ignoring... (read in full...)
Why was she so sore this time?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost 11 months now. Today I returned from being away for two weeks and we spend most of it rather physically. I've never came before but today I did. The strange thing was that she couldn't. She ...
A. 17 July 2011: too much for too long makes you sore. as she never came she was very aroused after which is why there was very vocal moaning.... (read in full...)
B/f thinks he can control me with sex!
Q. I have a boyfriend that acts like he can control me with his d¤•k, how can I stop him from acting that without giving up sex?...
A. 16 July 2011: explain more and then we can answer the problem in more depth.
another person only has control over you as long as you let them unless they have a gun to your head...... (read in full...)
I bought a new motorcycle and my best friend was really hurtful about it!
Q. My best friend's comment has me baffled. I emailed my best friend and told her I bought a new motorcycle. Her response to me was: "OMG!!! I am shocked that you bought a bike. DO YOU WANT TO BE KILLED???? ARE YOU NUTS????? YES!!!!! HELMETS...
A. 16 July 2011: bikes are very dangerous so i can see her concern.
you will do what you like.
dont think she's being mean she's just worried. be carefull.... (read in full...)
Does she like me? Are we heading towards being Super Friends?
Q. I know this girl, we've worked together for a few months now. A few days ago circumstance brought us together and we ended up spending half the day together outside of work. I know I'm in the friend zone with her, but does it mean anything if... ...
A. 16 July 2011: your gaining her trust but you need to have more reliable indicators of her feelings for you.
eye contact, body language, maybe suggest things vaguely in conversation...
use your imagination. tell her she's beautiful (i know i'd like to hear... (read in full...)
How can I encourage him to give me oral again?
Q. I have been going out with my bf for 3 years now and we have a healthy sex life. He is very good at giving me oral and used to do it loads because I do not orgasm during sex and that's the only way (apart from with vibrators) that I can orgasm. But ...
A. 16 July 2011: sex is completely about a compromise between two people. therefore there is room to manoeuver.
meet in the middle.
simple... (read in full...)
How can I encourage him to give me oral again?
Q. I have been going out with my bf for 3 years now and we have a healthy sex life. He is very good at giving me oral and used to do it loads because I do not orgasm during sex and that's the only way (apart from with vibrators) that I can orgasm. But ...
A. 15 July 2011: dont have sex with him until he decides to meet your needs? simple. dont be angry but just decline sex saying you are not interested unless your needs are also going to be met. say that that is fair and stick to it without expressing any anger and ... (read in full...)
Falsely accused of stalking one of my best friends! What do I do?
Q. Dear Cupids, I really need your help! One of my best friends, who I also share the same workplace as, accused me of stalking him this week. It is absolutely untrue. The reason being that another friend told him I was asking for information abou...
A. 15 July 2011: i'm guessing she fancies him and is trying to drive all other females out of the picture. it makes sense that a woman would make up lies to get a man to herself. thats pretty much the basis of all female aggression. instead of fighting like men ... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: cut all contact.
simple.
then the trigger for your drinking will not be there.
this experience should tell you that the internet is not always safe when it comes to finding love.... (read in full...)
Falsely accused of stalking one of my best friends! What do I do?
Q. Dear Cupids, I really need your help! One of my best friends, who I also share the same workplace as, accused me of stalking him this week. It is absolutely untrue. The reason being that another friend told him I was asking for information abou...
A. 15 July 2011: just blank him and avoid him. for whatever reason this other person is shit stirring, and the best thing you can do is not talk to your so called "best friend". if you really were best friends then maybe this person wouldn't have taken the ... (read in full...)
I hate how bitter she's being about the break up. She was hurt more than I was but now that I want back together, shouldn't that fix it?
Q. So, I'm not one for dating advice columns or anything like that. That being said, bear with me a bit. Alright, so I've been through a lot of difficult relationships. I recognize the fact that the difficulty in some cases was my doing. I though...
A. 15 July 2011: basically what you describe is possessive controlling behaviour and now you want to have her back for round two.
you were happy to have her get rid of her friends then when you had her all to yourself you no longer were interested in her. i think ... (read in full...)
Can anyone give me their thoughts on this situation and how to cope with the loss of a good friend?
Q. I have this friend which I met over 4 years ago and back then she use to be really happy, kind, and such. She also never touched alcohol or drugs. Well 2 years ago when she moved to another city for college she completely changed. She drinks until ...
A. 13 July 2011: people are their current actions. she may have a problem with alcohol but then again sometimes you just have to move on fro a person who treats others badly.
lots of friendships have sell by dates and its never the ones you expect.
sad but... (read in full...)
I found gay porn on my boyfriends laptop and he is getting closer to his gay friend, help!
Q. I love my boyfriend very much but I found gay porn on his laptop a few months ago. After much talking and thinking, I decided to ignore it and I hadn't really thought about it. My boyfriend claims it was spam and had no idea why it was on there...
A. 4 July 2011: it sounds like this friend was beefing up your boyfriends ego and that now that aspect is gone he is getting needy and possessive about this friend.
only time will tell. but the fact this friend has a relationship going on is in my eye's the remo... (read in full...)
He has completely changed, what should I do??
Q. My story is huge but please, please read it I need help so much!! Im a gay male 19. I met my ex at the most unlikely time, I wasn't looking for anything and didn't really want it. I didn't have a physical attraction to begin with. Im...
A. 4 July 2011: HE IS LIKE THIS because this is how he has behaved! your behaviour frames your personality in light of events that happen.
you need to wake up and realise you didn't even fancy him that much you just enjoyed the neediness of his endless texts. i... (read in full...)
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