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| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
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Do I go to a bar and act like a bar fly? Or just let him go?
Q. My problem is I want to get even with my ex lover who dumped me for a younger transvestite. It is not that I am all that old, 45 today. He is 50 and his new thing is 25. It is not that I am unattractive or out of shape. I still wear size 8 jeans and ...
A. 15 February 2011: move on- he has and he sounds like a shallow waste of time. it sounds as though you are into making something of your life. someone who is out every night of the week is not living in the real world. the party scene is pretty empty when you look in ... (read in full...)
She's keeping me at arm's length. am I wasting my time?
Q. I am 41 and I am sort of seeing a 24 year old woman. We both have feeling for each other, but she's scared to be comitted. She says she's scared she'll hurt me, or if things didn't work out that it would be hard to face each other in work. She'...
A. 15 February 2011: are you having sex when you meet up?
either way you both will want different things out of life... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't think of me as his equal. Should I leave?
Q. My husband and I have been married for a little over a year now and he works full time and earns a 6 figure salary. I am a 24 year old full time college student working on my Masters in Education and am currently unemployed. In fact, I have only ...
A. 15 February 2011: its simple- he had ideas about how marriage would pan out and they probably haven't been met. maybe you two were not suited.
do you spend much time together?
when one person is paying all the bills it isn't an equal situation, but a caring spo... (read in full...)
My crush likes my ex!
Q. Hey everyone. So I am a closeted guy who has a crush on a guy who is closeted. I know he is gay and not out because of something I found(another story). Anyways, number one, I feel that he does not like me back. Number two I feel that he has ...
A. 15 February 2011: what you have is a combination of new crush jealousy and old boyfriend jealousy merging into something massive. first of all have you considered that this guy is not into you because he is not aware you are gay?
if you really want to get over som... (read in full...)
How to deal with being abandoned by parents and family?
Q. Hi, I'm a depressed 23 year old male. My father abandoned my family when i was 3. My mother did the same when i was 15. The two of them are remarried and they have kids and lives of their own. My younger sister, who has a younger kid of her own, and ...
A. 11 February 2011: sounds like your family are a bunch of selfish users and this has left you feeling like you only exist to be taken for granted. you need to move on and believe in yourself a bit more.
when your mum left, were you left on your own with your sib... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 11 years begs me for more threesomes!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years, we have awesome sex and have gotten kinky over the past 3 years! He discovered that I am into women and we have introduced a few into are bedroom with us. I normally perform with her and then he performs ...
A. 11 February 2011: he wants to have his cake and eat it, dont do it again. unless he consents to having another man involved. if he cannot cope with that then maybe your relationship should not involve threesomes.
he would be jealous if the shoe was on the other fo... (read in full...)
How do I find a girl to accept me for who I am?
Q. hello everyone.Im 24. Im what you consider a female to male transgender. i started my transition in 2007/ though i am not fully male technically. ive only had top surgery and i Dont plan on going on Testosterone. mainly cause my voice is already low ...
A. 9 February 2011: maybe you need to seek out lesbians because if you are not on testosterone, and you have female genetalia then that is a far stretch from what many women look for in a man. this doesn't mean you can't have a relationship with a woman, or that you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't trust me... I can't even go for a beer with friends!
Q. Hey guys i need some advice. I have been with my gf for about 3 years now. We have a 2 year old together. Life is tough. We used to fight ALOT! I used to have to call my mom and dad and tell them to come over to our place and referee it it got so b...
A. 8 February 2011: she is taking everything out on you but you need to not become an emotional punchbag. in this situation she needs to face her issues (counselling) and try to move on from the current negative behaviour patterns.
either way you shouldn't have to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't trust me... I can't even go for a beer with friends!
Q. Hey guys i need some advice. I have been with my gf for about 3 years now. We have a 2 year old together. Life is tough. We used to fight ALOT! I used to have to call my mom and dad and tell them to come over to our place and referee it it got so b...
A. 8 February 2011: she is taking everything out on you but you need to not become an emotional punchbag. in this situation she needs to face her issues (counselling) and try to move on from the current negative behaviour patterns.
either way you shouldn't have to ... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to be his master but I don't know what to do!
Q. My husband wants me to be his master during sex and domineer him using my imagination for the things I want him to do but my imagination does'nt seen to want to play what can I do? He has wanted this for years and I don't seem to be able to get it ...
A. 8 February 2011: just think of the most selfish bossy part of you and grow inside by feeling selfish thoughts, then domineering will come. its a mindset-become your most greedy, moody, selfish parts in the bedroom and then it will work like a charm... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't trust me... I can't even go for a beer with friends!
Q. Hey guys i need some advice. I have been with my gf for about 3 years now. We have a 2 year old together. Life is tough. We used to fight ALOT! I used to have to call my mom and dad and tell them to come over to our place and referee it it got so b...
A. 8 February 2011: look when you have child its easy to be a wrap round a finger like bacon on a sausage (forgive my hungover food lust), but you need to think what you want and make it happen. whatever it is, stop blaming others for blocking your ideas. sounds like ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't trust me... I can't even go for a beer with friends!
Q. Hey guys i need some advice. I have been with my gf for about 3 years now. We have a 2 year old together. Life is tough. We used to fight ALOT! I used to have to call my mom and dad and tell them to come over to our place and referee it it got so b...
A. 7 February 2011: she is manipulative and from what you state there is no trust and poor communication. why if you were fighting a lot did you have a baby?
just tell her you are meeting your friends and let her be angry. if she makes your life hell because you want... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go?
Q. I started a relationship a little over 6 months ago after being single 5 years. I am older and our relationship is long distant (245 miles) but I have made the trek 13 weeks in a row myself and sometimes I really couldn't afford to but I did out of ...
A. 7 February 2011: give give give, and he just absorbs the giving. you are putting in all the effort- ask yourself this, if you didn't go to see him would he ever come to you? if not then whats the point. sounds to me like he is lazy (although depressed people sleep a ... (read in full...)
Will he come to me in time?
Q. I have a friend that i love. we're both boys. we're friends. we're both gay, just believe me leave it at that it will help me find a better answer if we leave it at me knowing he's gay. anyways, he's not ready to go out with me (i can tell) even ...
A. 6 February 2011: put it to him what you want for the two of you instead of deciding that it can never be. if he rejects a relationship then so be it, you can gain closure and move on. but if you are successfull you two could be happy- why avoid happiness. it sounds ... (read in full...)
I don't understand how it has gone from being so lovely and perfect to this?
Q. I have been with my bf for nearly 4 years and have been living together for nearly 3. Our realtionship to me was amazing, we had so much in common up for a laugh go out with our friends, eveything around the house was split 50/50 we was a good ...
A. 1 February 2011: well you are quite young, having his brother live with you has probably not helped your relationship. also he has alcohol exacerbatted anger issues. if he doesn't want you to spend time with your friends and family then that would be a red flag to ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to handle my 'Grumpy Old Man'?
Q. I see my boyfriend at week-ends, as he lives an hour's drive away. It annoys me because he likes to stay up until 2-3 am during the week and by Saturday is not up to much. He likes to sleep in until mid day. I like to be up and about and not to...
A. 29 January 2011: you two sound incompatible, he should have grown out of that behaviour in his twenties. personally it would drive me nuts.
if he's moody when he gets up and that only happens in the middle of the day, you aren't going to be able to do couple s... (read in full...)
I'm going to give him space, but what do I do to get him back?
Q. My ex boyfriend and I were going out for nearly 7 months. he broke up with me last week and we are on good terms. We've agreed to be 'friends'. And he still does talk to me The reason he broke up was because he just wanted to be single. but he doesn...
A. 29 January 2011: to be honest i find it hard to undersatnd how things could be perfect for you and he wants to break up shortly after. either you are not on the same wavelength OR he is a bit erratic and randomly changes his behaviour every so often. either way if ... (read in full...)
Could he actually like me?
Q. Theres this guy in my class. He's been out with a few girls, but not many. I recently moved to his class and now we spend alot of time together in school. I really like him but the problem is I'm a guy too. I'm openly gay at school, and he ...
A. 29 January 2011: its possible he likes you,its also possible he likes attention to fuel his ego. hmm the only way you will know is if you ask him directly.
that is the risk...... (read in full...)
I told her I was in the university but I'm not. Now what?
Q. I'm a 17 year old lesbian and a couple of weeks ago met this gorgeous woman at a bar. We really hit it off, kissed, exchanged numbers and haven't seen other since. We've been texting since that night, but the only problem is I told her I was in ...
A. 27 January 2011: tell her the truth, say you were afraid your age would scare her away.
add her as a friend but send a message to her really quickly. have it written in ms word so you can copy and paste it for extra efficiency.
good luck... (read in full...)
Why am I so down on myself about these things? Is it the Cannabis that is making me paranoid?
Q. Morning to you all I need some objective advice. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. I love him very much. We do "clash" sometimes because we both hold strong opinions on things and are equally quick tempered. Well, here's the ot...
A. 26 January 2011: first step is DONT BUY any, and dont spend time with pot smokers until you have you head clear for at least a week.
anxiety and self conciousness/fear of social situations will lessen once the pot wears off and it could be a while for it to clear... (read in full...)
Why am I so down on myself about these things? Is it the Cannabis that is making me paranoid?
Q. Morning to you all I need some objective advice. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. I love him very much. We do "clash" sometimes because we both hold strong opinions on things and are equally quick tempered. Well, here's the ot...
A. 26 January 2011: you dont need rehab to quit cannabis- its so easy once you put your mind down to it... (read in full...)
Why am I so down on myself about these things? Is it the Cannabis that is making me paranoid?
Q. Morning to you all I need some objective advice. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. I love him very much. We do "clash" sometimes because we both hold strong opinions on things and are equally quick tempered. Well, here's the ot...
A. 25 January 2011: yes its making you paranoid, but depression is what is making you so negative thinking about your appearance.
cut the weed out and you might see a reduction in how sensitive you are to everything. sometimes you need to let anger and frustrat... (read in full...)
In love with my straight friend, could we ever happen?
Q. Hi I am a gay man in love with my straight friend. I have always denied it to anyone because, We are both in relationships and never strayed but we are always flirting even his missus jokes about it. Nothing has ever happened between us but ...
A. 25 January 2011: sexual attention seeker who loves himself attracts gay friend but doesn't have any intention of backing it up with action.
boy have i been there myself.as a situation its so annoying that i dont speak to that person now as they didn't do my head ... (read in full...)
Can watching straight-porn keep me from going gay?
Q. hi i am a straight 17 year old and i havent lost my virginity, i masturbate over straight sex and porn but i have doubts about my sexuality, if i continue to masturbate over this porn can it prevent me from becoming gay in the future?...
A. 5 January 2011: nah, you're preference is not going to leave that way. how many american preachers have tried and failed....... (read in full...)
He felt me up and I liked it...what does that mean?
Q. ive been with girls my whole my life n never really thought of men, but the other night a guy felt me up n tried to go with me n it really turned me, does that mean im gay?...
A. 2 January 2011: were you drunk? thing is that you can fancy men and women, but if you were drinking its a much less accurate indication of your preferences. i'm gay and when i'm drunk i have fancied women.
if you were sober and it turned you on then you might be... (read in full...)
He has no passion in the bedroom!
Q. I'm in a relationship with a man 15 years my senior. After settling down from the gay party life, I met and fell whole-heartedly for this man. But there's one problem. He has no passion in the bedroom. He has no problem with an erection and he looks ...
A. 2 January 2011: if you don't feel loved when you have sex its a bit of an issue. a relationship should be a friendship with lovemaking involved. if there is a lack of passion you have to think are you just settling for something that doesn't satisfy you? is this ... (read in full...)
I like my best friend's boyfriend, what should I do?
Q. Okay, this might be quite lengthy but please try to bear with me, I'm really confused and desperately need some advice! :/ I'm male, 16, from the UK. And there's this guy. He's just perfect... he's funny, witty and so god damn sexy. He's roman...
A. 2 January 2011: its simple- he is with your friend. stop thinking about him and try to find someone who is available. you are only wasting your time.
also why are you so negative about yourself? maybe if you start to look for the good things about yourself... (read in full...)
Is he just shy or should I take the lead?
Q. Hey! A month ago, I moved into a new town and a new town implies a new gym! I'm gay and I'm okay with it... The thing is, in the new gym, the trainer is really hot although he's kinda old (nearly 50). I feel like he's looking a lot at me but it...
A. 30 December 2010: just get talking to him- i'm gay and jock straps dont really do anything for me. a conversation with him will let you know if he likes you. when you are talking to him look for lots of eye contact and smiling, possible eyebrow flicks also (where the ... (read in full...)
What is a guy to do when he dates to find companionship, but can't commit because of baggage?
Q. Someone I know, who likes me a lot, but currently has a boyfriend, is still trying to get close to me and doesn't seem to want their boyfriend so much as me... and while I've already told them we need to just be friends, the whole of a conversation ...
A. 23 December 2010: maybe you're fear of being alone is driving you into possible new relationships before you have worked out the problems your previous relationships have left you with.
clearly being cheated on twice has undermined your confidence in yourself... (read in full...)
I just can't keep going through life being heart broken. What do I do?
Q. I have this problem, For the last year I have been messed up by a load of different guys. It even got to a stage somebody said to me that they wanted a relationship with me and that they loved me completely and then took it back the next day. Af...
A. 22 December 2010: your lack of confidence in yourself is a problem, and in reality your supervisor sounds competitive. sometimes you need to believe in yourself or all that will come across is desperation.
this is my problem with gay bars. by definition half the... (read in full...)
Do I like boys or girls?
Q. hi i'm 25 and love having sex with girls wether it be a relationship or one night stands i've had several girlfriends and love the emotion of falling in love.... when i'm not having sex i masturbate 3-6 times a day but heres the problem i find the ...
A. 18 December 2010: go to a gay bar and chat a guy up- easiest way
try it out with someone you aren't friends with as experimenting with friends always leaves a dirty after taste in your head no matter how fun it is in the moment.
try getting to know some gays g... (read in full...)
In love with my straight best friend.
Q. So I am extremely confused... I have been best friends with this guy for about 10 years. We do just about everthing together and we both really value the time we spend together. We are also currently room mates... We have become extremely close an...
A. 18 December 2010: this is going nowhere, he loves the attention and you will be sucked into this forever unless either A. he makes a move which seems unlikely as you are the one giving him physical attention as well as the fact he said he isn't interested in you or ... (read in full...)
I tell you, I feel scared and trapped. I'm not sure if I really want to stay with this man.
Q. I am currently in a relationship of three years, only the last 6 months of which we have been living together, we have had a long distance relationship for almost 18 months. I love the guy and up until recently I have wanted to spend the rest of my ...
A. 12 December 2010: get out of this abusive relationship- leave today and don't look back, anyone who wants you to sell all your possessions and ridicules you is nasty and you need to move on as fast as you can.
he just wants to feed off destroying your self esteem a... (read in full...)
All I want is answers... why???
Q. ~Listening to Bruno Mars- Talking to the moon~ Hello everyone and anyone. i have a story of well my real life heartbreak. Im 25 years old, goodlooking guy. Never really dated seriously too much. Was always the "player". Until one day i met a guy ...
A. 11 December 2010: move away from boston- the whole reason you went there was to meet him and you will be stuck in limbo while you live there. place can induce patterns of behaviour and mental states and you need to find new thoughts and a new life to make you ... (read in full...)
He says he just has a flirty personality
Q. So I have been talking and hanging out with this guy I met at work for about 4 months now. He is always telling me how much he likes me will wait however long it takes for me to trust him. He used to be quiet the ladies man and has slept with a lot ...
A. 10 December 2010: you don't trust him and maybe your suspicions are well founded. when you hear alarm bells in your head trust your instincts!... (read in full...)
I have never seen him NOT have an alcoholic beverage!
Q. Hey guys I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and we have just moved in together everything is fine apart from all the time I have been with him I have never seen him not have an alcoholic beverage and I am worried that this is going to...
A. 10 December 2010: if YOU are paying for him then its an issue, if he is paying his fair share then it isn't. from what you have said your concern seems to be that he wants a free roof over his head and he is going to drink what little money he has left.
was h... (read in full...)
What do you think? Something just doesn't sound right about this to me!
Q. I have a friend who recently got back from studying 6 months abroad. There he met a girl who now says she's in a relationship with him, and as I have them both on facebook I see all the cutesy things they write each other. My friend seems really in ...
A. 7 December 2010: is there a possibility that you are into him? because why do you feel so concerned for the well being of someone you don't know(this girl)-maybe you have a hidden interest.
the reason he is relaxed is because he probably lets her think he is in a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a pothead.....
Q. I have a girlfriend who used to be a pothead and she kind of still it. I'm not against weed but when it comes to her I am for some reason. I think I just don't like the pothead mentality. The whole thing where they are in love with the plant and all ...
A. 7 December 2010: the problem is that when you first started going out she wanted you to help her quit. now you associate the happiness of a new relationship with keeping her away from cannabis.
no wonder it stresses you out when she smokes, but you have to think... (read in full...)
Should I come out to my wife?
Q. Hi I'm 32 yrs old and I've been married to my wife for 6 yrs.being bi sexual isn't something I tell my wife but I did tell her about my attraction to men when we first met and it didn't bother her. I'm now at a point in my life that I feel that ...
A. 5 December 2010: trying to push the idea of threesomes is going to cause problems in your marriage.
she will feel offended and even if it doesn't happen will trust you less because what it signifies is you wanting to have sex with someone besides her. which is... (read in full...)
I found out the guy I was dating was a registered sex offender
Q. HI. I just started dating this guy, when I found out that He was a registered sex offender. I found out through his ex mother in law that I happened to work with. When he was 15 he sexually molested his sister over a time frame of about 3 months.. ...
A. 2 December 2010: this man probably wont change as paedophilia seems to be a sexual orientation, bizarre as that may sound. you're kidding yourself if you think this wont be a problem somewhere down the line, plus it was incest which makes it a double whammy of "how ... (read in full...)
I have an issue with cum!
Q. I honestly do not like cum. If i look at it, taste, feel or even think about it too much, i gag and feel like i'm going to vomit. I've always pushed past this feeling of nausea, and just dealt with it, i've pretended that it didn't bother me. But it ...
A. 30 November 2010: maybe you have associated cum in your head with bad STD's and now you see it in a similar vein to boogies/faeces/vomit as a disease spreader.
because naturally a reaction of disgust appears to things we know to be carriers of disease.
maybe t... (read in full...)
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