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| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
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He has completely changed, what should I do??
Q. My story is huge but please, please read it I need help so much!! Im a gay male 19. I met my ex at the most unlikely time, I wasn't looking for anything and didn't really want it. I didn't have a physical attraction to begin with. Im...
A. 4 July 2011: HE IS LIKE THIS because this is how he has behaved! your behaviour frames your personality in light of events that happen.
you need to wake up and realise you didn't even fancy him that much you just enjoyed the neediness of his endless texts. i... (read in full...)
Online Lesbian Stalker
Q. I met this chic in February while in a relationship with now ex. I met the chic from a site n wanted to get to know her, in a none sexual way. So we exchanged numbers and maybe within a week or so met. She seemed real cool. It was only 3mos later ...
A. 4 July 2011: WOW what a stalker. if things get really bad you may have to go to the police. hmm social networking sites are more friendship based but people do still trawl them for shags. thing is if she is turning up outside your house when she lives 25 miles ... (read in full...)
Why is Divorce Ok? I am put off if I find a person is divorced.
Q. Im asking the question: Why isnt it shameful to be divorced? Why would anyone admit it? to me it makes the person look selfish and non commital really.. I have to admit it puts me off a person quite a lot. What does everyone else think? ...
A. 3 July 2011: are you catholic by any chance? your attitude will block you from finding someone you can accept as you are too easily influenced by a category, rather than falling for a person.
sounds like at your age you need to realise that a lot of the avai... (read in full...)
Online Lesbian Stalker
Q. I met this chic in February while in a relationship with now ex. I met the chic from a site n wanted to get to know her, in a none sexual way. So we exchanged numbers and maybe within a week or so met. She seemed real cool. It was only 3mos later ...
A. 3 July 2011: you are never going on a dating website to make friends, friendships happen naturally, dates don't so you have to make them happen as a gay or a dyke (too few opportunities and people you meet in bars are often not relationship material).
what ... (read in full...)
Does a relationship work if 2 cheaters get together?
Q. Can a relationship work if both people have cheated to be together? Will it have a happy ending or not and how long roughly do cheaters stay together before things start to go wrong? ...
A. 3 July 2011: maybe if they both change their ways OR accept each others cheating. pretty obvious really...
accepting your nature is more effective in life than trying to change who you are and what you're about. people have choices but very often we make the... (read in full...)
Could he be bisexual?
Q. I'm 18, male and bisexual and really into a guy at school. I don't see it as being judgmental but I just get the impression he's bi too. He's really metro, into fashion and everything, dresses quite smartly and coolly, with the fringe swept to one ...
A. 1 July 2011: go for it. make the most of the situation. and follow up on it.
you make your own future!... (read in full...)
Will I have to pay maintenance for my fiance’s children from his previous marriage?
Q. Does anyone know if I will have to pay maintenance for my fiance’s children from his previous marriage (my future stepchildren) if we divorce and I have to pay him maintenance for whatever reason? The children live with their mother. My fiancé p...
A. 29 June 2011: it sounds to me like although you have your eyes wide open, that you can forsee this marriage failing. if that is true then why would you marry him.
it sounds to me like these legal worries are the logical representation in your mind of you not ... (read in full...)
Condo manager is bullying tenants and possibly abusive toward his wife
Q. Hi Aunts! I have a "relationship" question about my Condo Manager. Sorry it's so long. I hope since this isn't a romance-related question you will still be able to offer some advice because it is really bothering me... Basically, I live in a smal...
A. 29 June 2011: your follow up wasn't available for me to see when i typed my answer. if the others hate him and the people at the top are on board with you then that changes things completely. go by the book and drive him out of power. thats where all his rage ... (read in full...)
Condo manager is bullying tenants and possibly abusive toward his wife
Q. Hi Aunts! I have a "relationship" question about my Condo Manager. Sorry it's so long. I hope since this isn't a romance-related question you will still be able to offer some advice because it is really bothering me... Basically, I live in a smal...
A. 28 June 2011: he's a bossy arsehole, and here is how i deal with people like that. when they tell me to do something i say, yes, okay and agree with whatever they suggest but do what i want anyway.
ignore him and his behaviour. if he tells you off just dont eve... (read in full...)
He told me he fell in love with my personality. Well that doesn't help much when he ogles other men!
Q. I am a gay male of 23 years old (almost 24) and my boyfriend is 25 (almost 26). We've been together for 3 and a half years and it's be... alright. We got into a little argument today about how my boyfriend is always commenting on how other guys o...
A. 27 June 2011: someone who tells you they fell for your personality not your looks and complains that you dont look a certain way is not a person i would be comfortable with.
its up to you what you will tolerate. it will chip away at you if you are with someone ... (read in full...)
I don't want to meet his friends while I have a broken leg!
Q. I have been dating my partner for 3 months and he has invited me to a friends wedding in 3 weeks time. The problem I have is that 2 weeks ago I broke my leg in a cycling accident. I feel so embarrassed, My whole leg is in a cast and it's been ab...
A. 19 June 2011: tell him how you feel and that you would not be comfortable meeting people for the first time in this state. yes he is being supportive but i feel he is convincing you to go even though your legs still sounds very weak (not safe to stand on) because ... (read in full...)
Is he gay, confused or straight?
Q. Okay so I meant this guy through a friend of mine and ever since then we do everything together. We go to parties, and we just spend a lot of time together and I have started to fall for him because he would always tell me I love you or act really ...
A. 18 June 2011: i had a friend who was always giving me body language that was suggestive. it led nowhere as he made it clear he was straight but gained a lot of satisfaction from knowing i fancied him. just be warned some people will feed their ego any way they ... (read in full...)
Is he gay, confused or straight?
Q. Okay so I meant this guy through a friend of mine and ever since then we do everything together. We go to parties, and we just spend a lot of time together and I have started to fall for him because he would always tell me I love you or act really ...
A. 18 June 2011: i had a friend who was always giving me body language that was suggestive. it led nowhere as he made it clear he was straight but gained a lot of satisfaction from knowing i fancied him. just be warned some people will feed their ego any way they ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is homosexual!
Q. i have been married to my husband for seven years and have one child. in the past two years things between me and my husband have been very strained and the sex has been non-existent except for when he is drunk. i was on our shared laptop when i ...
A. 18 June 2011: yeah sounds like he is finally "realising" that he is gay.
confront him and dont expect things to get better. i am gay and recently had sex with a woman when drunk. alcohol makes you so stupid you can barely even register gender.
point being t... (read in full...)
Is my friend really gay or is he just playing around?
Q. Hullo, I have a friend how acts really gay, hugging guys ect all the time. He can be quite camp at times as well. When I used to study maths he was sat next to me and he would often put his hand on my leg and sometimes rub it. Other times he would...
A. 18 June 2011: meet up with him outside school for some activity, maybe swimming (bit of nudity never hurts) or a cinema (easier to reduce inhibitions in the dark). in a cinema when he holds your hand, squeeze it back and look into his eyes, his reaction will let ... (read in full...)
Could he be bisexual?
Q. I'm 18, male and bisexual and really into a guy at school. I don't see it as being judgmental but I just get the impression he's bi too. He's really metro, into fashion and everything, dresses quite smartly and coolly, with the fringe swept to one ...
A. 18 June 2011: male friends that are straight sometimes do this too. go for it and take a risk but remember dress sense is not the most accurate indicator of a persons sexuality as people like to dress in many different ways.
good luck... (read in full...)
Is it understandable that I'm freaking out at my boyfriend? He went naked in view of her
Q. Ok, I need to know if I should be mad about this. Me and my boyfriend live with his best friend who is a female. Last night we were playing around and he had just gotten out of the shower when he went to tell our roomate something (still. in his ...
A. 12 June 2011: wow- insecurity overload. people are naked all the time in a non sexual fashion. you need to get over your fear that he will leave you for her. its probabaly a very unlikely occurance.
what has happened in the relationship besides this that has... (read in full...)
Husband goes out every weekend for HOURS at a time!
Q. I love my husband.We have been married 10 years. He works hard, helps around the house and is a good father. However for the past 6 months he goes out every weekend. He will usually ask me to join him but most of the time i can not go because I ...
A. 6 June 2011: being controlling for years? not a good sign, even if you get over it it has had the effect on you that you are isolated from any social circle that is not his. what spouse would want that for their significant other?
its biting him in the ass ... (read in full...)
Not Into My Girl - but am Interested in Guys. What should I do?
Q. am 27yrs,man engaged but i don't stay with my lover,some times i feel like having relationship with fellow men.men get attracted to me whenever i pass over them,some ask for my contacts.but i feel i want to stay in relationship with my girl .so help ...
A. 5 June 2011: it sounds like you dont know what you want. like you want two mutually exclusive things.
you fancy men, but do you fancy your girl?
that should answer your question.
i sense a marriage with random cottaging on the side which is doing nobo... (read in full...)
Is it fair that I want to change my mind about the three-some decisions we made?
Q. My boyfriend wants threesome with a girl and i said i wanted one with a guy. Than he started complaning, because he isnt bi-sexual like me, so he wouldn't get any thing out of it. But with a girl we both would because i'm bi-sexual. So i gave in....
A. 5 June 2011: threesomes make a mess of many relationships.
they create insecurity, resentment, and a lack of satisfaction with normal sexual activity.
they are best avoided for most relationships.
all this idea of a threesome has shown you is that he is ... (read in full...)
Husband goes out every weekend for HOURS at a time!
Q. I love my husband.We have been married 10 years. He works hard, helps around the house and is a good father. However for the past 6 months he goes out every weekend. He will usually ask me to join him but most of the time i can not go because I ...
A. 5 June 2011: you need a life of your OWN!, and also he needs to drink less. phoning someone up at 3 am to get a lift is never a good look. thing is why is he driving and drinking before he gets to the point of too drunk to drive.
i can guarantee you that if ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure I"m having the right reaction to what this guy said?
Q. If a man says he feels like your his family and starts claiming your bedroom at your house is his and your cat is his too I would think this is a good thing but I am not sure i am having the right reaction too it. When he said these things I reacted ...
A. 5 June 2011: how long have you two been together? that is the defining factor in weather this behaviour is a good thing/natural progression within a relationship, or a rapidly approaching red flag "awwwooogggaa" noise in your mind.
how long have you two been... (read in full...)
My friends children are spoiled and misbehave all the time! How can I get her to see that this isn't normal?
Q. Parents out there please help!!! I need some advice so I can help my friend with her children who are a nightmare! I don't have children myself so I apologise in advance if I offend anyone . My friend has 2 children- a 10 year old girl a...
A. 4 June 2011: parents dont want to listen to other people criticise their kids or parenting skills.
avoid having the children round, tell your friend you would rather spend time with her and that she should get someone to look after them, in a pleasant way of c... (read in full...)
A friend suggested my crush was gay. Am I just wishful thinking?
Q. ok my question is a kind of long a complicated one, im a gay, 18 year old male from ireland. so, i have this friend, lets call him john (: weve been friends since i was about 14, and he would of been one of the first people i ever came out t...
A. 3 June 2011: well i feel that unless you want to get him drunk and seduce him then you probably are not going to have sex with him, let alone a relationship.
relationships dont get founded on drunken sex.... (read in full...)
Drunken encounter with my cousin....how do I deal with this situation?
Q. really don't know how to say this......but ah will here it goes me and my cousin are really close as cousins should be and usually hang out. so as we sometimes do we went to his apartment and had some beer for old times sake and to catch up.....will ...
A. 2 June 2011: how do you feel about this? have you been attracted to him before?
it sounds like too much alcohol made you both horny and bad of judgement. if he was the one who initiated it (although given the drunk state you cannot be totally sure), then the... (read in full...)
A friend suggested my crush was gay. Am I just wishful thinking?
Q. ok my question is a kind of long a complicated one, im a gay, 18 year old male from ireland. so, i have this friend, lets call him john (: weve been friends since i was about 14, and he would of been one of the first people i ever came out t...
A. 2 June 2011: thats the kind of information that should have been in the original question for sure.
he's at least bi (likely)
looks WAYYYYYY more promising, but remember he has rejected you once. try to find out if he was very drunk when he slept with that ... (read in full...)
A friend suggested my crush was gay. Am I just wishful thinking?
Q. ok my question is a kind of long a complicated one, im a gay, 18 year old male from ireland. so, i have this friend, lets call him john (: weve been friends since i was about 14, and he would of been one of the first people i ever came out t...
A. 29 May 2011: having a friend about who you are in love with but is unnavailable is not a good thing for you.
it will block you from new men who you may have a real chance with.
why does this other friend think john is gay?
weather john is gay o... (read in full...)
I love him but I want a relationship that I can tell everyone about!
Q. i am a gay teenager. Me and my boyfriend have been goin out for 9 months and have been friends for 12years. Before we went out we both had girlfriends until 1 nite last summer when i got drunk and he made a move on me and told me he wanted to be ...
A. 27 May 2011: dont force things but i can understand there is a limit to how long you can tolerate this.
its rare to find someone you are that close to that loves you. maybe keep asking him to show his love for you by going in the open.
coming out is... (read in full...)
Older male dating a younger one, who was a virgin and is now seeking more.
Q. I am a 38yr old male dating a 20yr old male who was a virgin. We have had sex, though I have not penetrated him. He is still wanting to wait, and I am fine with that. We have been together for 4 months (as of last night)and he has started masturba...
A. 27 May 2011: if someone only wants you to gratify them but wont return the favour that stems from a lack of respect for/interest in you.
sounds like he is selfish.
are you sure he is even that into you? he is new to things and may want more experiences out ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to conceive and my ob-gyn tells me that testing negative is "good." What gives?
Q. I went to my ob/gyn for a check up and she did a pregnancy test. When the test came back neg she said the it was "good" that I was not pregnant. Why does she say that when we are actively "trying to conceive?"...
A. 25 May 2011: question her, for all you know she may have spotted a problem that you are unaware of or she was just being a bitch. find out now with a simple phone call.... (read in full...)
Fiance cannot stop bringing up old lovers!
Q. My fiance can not stop bringing up my past lovers and Its ruining our sex life, as well as our relationship. I am 27 years old and have been with 38 men, and I'll admit, thats a lot. I have much regret for my bad choices in lovers, and wish I ...
A. 25 May 2011: they aren't going to afefct future relationships but they certainly are affecting your current boyfriend and he certainly takes some kind of satisfaction from putting you down all the time. he is insecure, originally dumped YOU went with someone ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty after sex with a guy, not with a girl
Q. I don't know what to do, I need advice and guidance. Ever since I was 14, I knew I was bi, I had a sort of relationship with a girl before hand, and since then had a brief relationship with a guy. I say brief, we got intimate sexuall, not act...
A. 24 May 2011: if you cannot cope with societies judgement and have guilt free sex with a man then dont do it.
i tend to feel guilty after having sex with someone i didn't fancy but was really horny and felt my judgement was off. its basically your brains w... (read in full...)
Not sure whether my best friend if giving off signals
Q. Hi all, i have one of the weirdest questions in the world lol. i am gay and my straight best friend is confusing the hell out of me. Basically I'm not out yet but I'm 99% sure he knows i am gay, and i have no idea if hes giving off signals. ...
A. 24 May 2011: yeah he sounds like he wants you sexually but is not prepared to take it any further than that.
i have had a friend in this exact situation and guess what? we never got together despite the numerous times he would play fight with me with a hard-o... (read in full...)
Is it that hopeless?
Q. Three weeks ago I started to become close with someone from my office. I am bisexual but I never fell in love with a guy before and I think he is straight. We become closer and we are really good friends now, he is very kind to me, always talks with ...
A. 24 May 2011: well, a straight man is never going to be in a relationship with another man no matter how much you want him to.
i've been there and let me tell you, you are wasting your time. unless there are huge obvious signals from him (none of which you ment... (read in full...)
Will she put up with this and be patient? I failed the exam and now I am so worried I will lose my Gf over it/
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 24 and my gf is 23.. The thing is recently i failed in my recent examination to get into my final year at my university.. It was really depressing and demoralizing as i have truly burnt the midnight oil for it..however slow...
A. 11 May 2011: talk to her, but stop being so negative. you have your degree to worry about which is more important to YOUR future than she is. even if you get your degree you cannot know how your relationship will pan out in the future, but what you can know is ... (read in full...)
Why am I so down when my straight mate can't enter a relationship with me?
Q. I have been best mates with a fellow for around 15 years. I am 29 years old and gay. He is 27 years old and straight. He knows that I am gay. Over the past month or so, my strong friendship with him grew to the point where I began having feelings ...
A. 4 May 2011: you need to realise that he dosen't want a relationship so maybe not responding is his way of reducing the current tension between you two. although i am aware its upsetting you deeply.
just because you had a breakdown once doesn't mean it will ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to be a creep -- is this all there is?
Q. My bf of 2 years seems to be a creep. I was looking for a movie to watch on my laptop and stumbled into Google documents for the first time ever. I saw everything that my bf looked up on the laptop for the last 5 years +. I saw all kinds of ...
A. 4 May 2011: get him out of your house.
when big red warning flags come up only fools ignore them.
even you know that someone who fancies your child is not someone you would have a relationship with. its very simple.
you dont have to stay in a relati... (read in full...)
Sister very pushy when she visits out mother. Should I stop the visits?
Q. My sister bounded in at the weekend. She does not want to look after our mother and rarely visits. She knows I have taken leave from work to look after our mother after three strokes. I walk her to get her legs working again. I get up in the night ...
A. 3 May 2011: your sister is after your mothers money. bit of a creep, BUT if you bring it up with your mother she may not see it this way. the most important thing is that you stand up to her and tell her that if she is not there to help your mother then she ... (read in full...)
Sister very pushy when she visits out mother. Should I stop the visits?
Q. My sister bounded in at the weekend. She does not want to look after our mother and rarely visits. She knows I have taken leave from work to look after our mother after three strokes. I walk her to get her legs working again. I get up in the night ...
A. 3 May 2011: your sister is after your mothers money. bit of a creep, BUT if you bring it up with your mother she may not see it this way. the most important thing is that you stand up to her and tell her that if she is not there to help your mother then she ... (read in full...)
Please help. Boyfriend and I have serious problems with sex.
Q. Hi everyone, I’m in a real dilemma at the moment, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve posted on here a few times before. I’m a 24-year-old gay guy who has been in a relationship with the same guy for over four years now. We have serious problems...
A. 3 May 2011: he's selfish and it comes through in the sex.
move on you will be able to cope. the longer you tolerate his selfish behaviour the more it will strip you of self esteem.
if this relationship is not satisfying you currently then how is it helpin... (read in full...)
I think I am gay but I don't want to be! What can I do?
Q. Hello, I'm 18 years old. As question title says, I think I am gay. What can do I about this, if I don't want to be gay? I want to be straight, have a wife, family, kids. What makes me think that I am gay, is the fact, that I do not want sex with any...
A. 30 April 2011: it does sound like you are gay sexuality can change over your life for SOME people but with most it stays relatively stable. this may be hard to accept. unfortunately some places are not good to live in as an open homosexual. have you got an... (read in full...)
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