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| | *oonridge McPhalify's profile:i've done a psychology degree but can see how a lot of the established ways are usefull but open to abuse by agents of social control (doctors/thought police).
i have been diagnosed as manic depressive but at the moment am not in any state that would be classed as serious. i appear to have things balanced by consuming omega three, b vitamins and dairy food, and have insight into irrational thought patterns because for a long time they came to dominate my thinking.
i like to see things from a logical point of view, see myself as quick to analyse and tend to back away from situations to view them objectively.
i love drugs and have for years but have more control over myself now than i ever did in the past. being bipolar i came to rely on mood controlling agents as i had great difficulty with wild mood swings. i am no longer experiencing problems with my mood and as such my drug use has calmed down (or matured).
i am single but am making an effort and hopefully something good will come along. i'm very picky though and dont want to be in a relationship for the sake of it
i am gay and while this is an issue (as it would be to anyone in a society where it is tolerated rather than accepted), i dont consider it to be a defining feature of myself. i prefer to associate with people because i find them interesting rather than because of labels.
i love agony aunt columns and friends say i give good advice (though they would wouldn't they). either way this is a hobby and a fun one at that. it also satiates my nosiness without having to impose it on people that could cause me to be known as nosy/interfering.
i am actively making an effort to find love but am wary of people. the risk has to be worth it as love tends to send me (literally) crazy. |
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Got too close to my fiance's friend, now he's distant, is it because of what could have happened?
Q. I'm getting married in July. However, last year I started falling for one of my fiancés friends, he has loads of friends but me and this one became really close, chatting everyday, having the odd lunch or whatever during the day, until we had a big ...
A. 21 October 2010: look you played them for attention and made your choice, now the hurt that leading people on has caused a rift in the friendships. this is to be expected. dont take it to heart just move on as he has done.
friendships can have sell by dates an... (read in full...)
I believe he was my soulmate, and now cant get over him!
Q. I want to know if a guy I dated was my soulmate, and if so how to do I get over him? So my sophomore year of high school I had a class with this guy... and immediately felt a connection. We both wanted to take it slow and not rush into things, ...
A. 17 October 2010: cut him out of your life and stop letting him creep back in. you are not getting over him because you keep being reminded of him because thats what his behaviour is trying to cause, its better to cut your losses and make a clean break.
get h... (read in full...)
Am I right to distance myself from cheating HIV+ Ex?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 years (3 great 2 up and down) is HIV+. I have know this from the start, and accepted it, and we have always practiced safe sex, which lead to there maybe not being as much passion in our sex lives, but I was ok with that and ...
A. 17 October 2010: dont spend time with him, you have enough reasons
if he cannot link his behaviour to the outcome of situations then he doesn't have the capacity to learn. steer clear... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to other guys but I don't want a relationship with one
Q. So, I'm now 16, and I realize I am attracted to other guys. But, I don't want to have a relationship with one. As for girls, I now am starting to get less turned on by them, and yet, I still do like girls too want a relationship with girls. Am I ...
A. 16 October 2010: wanting a relationship is a thought out process where as craving sex is more animal, in other words its easier to decieve yourself of what you want through relationships because they are not all about sex.
if you dont fancy a woman, how will you... (read in full...)
Complicated and hurtful family mess
Q. I feel really stupid writing about this, but I would like to get other people's takes on this situation. My 29 year old daughter is "re-marrying" her husband of 10 years. I haven't spoken to either of them in over a year because last year I was ...
A. 14 October 2010: she treated you like shit to be honest, i would never throw my mum out of my house. while it is good to patch up rifts after long periods of time, if you are not ready to dont force yourself.
it seems that the problem here is her remarryi... (read in full...)
Was this a sign of ED, or just due to alcohol?
Q. Hello, this is a health related question something that I am pretty shy about and I will try not be too graphic. I am a 26 year old male, I do not smoke. I am a social drinker on weekends, but I drink in moderation. I "try" to eat healthy, I...
A. 12 October 2010: if alcohol destroys your libido as it does to me i bet you get horny hangovers, wait and see if this is true and if so use them...... (read in full...)
Do you guys think he likes me? And how to make this into a steady relationship?
Q. Hello everyone, So I posted a while back and I got great responses. So there is a guy that I really like, and I think he likes me too, but my biggest concern is that he rarely is the one to call me. I don't call him too often (maybe once every ot...
A. 11 October 2010: maybe its not because he doesn't want to appear clingy, maybe he just ISN'T clingy.
things sound like they are going well, ecstacy can make you feel you love someone artificially and that is something to remember. stay positive as things are look... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend be gay and not know it?
Q. Just broke up with my boyfriend who had been living with me for three years and I'm just trying to make sense of it all. I've met his parents, but in 3 years never met one single one of his friends. He always talked about me when he was on t...
A. 10 October 2010: wanting to help him is a form of feeling sorry for him which is probably how he manipulated you into doing everything for him. you deserve so much better and if you hang around him to "help him get through things" you are doing yourself no favours. ... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend be gay and not know it?
Q. Just broke up with my boyfriend who had been living with me for three years and I'm just trying to make sense of it all. I've met his parents, but in 3 years never met one single one of his friends. He always talked about me when he was on t...
A. 10 October 2010: you are looking for an explanation that makes it seem like he has deeper issues that were responsible for him treating you badly, maybe you need to accept that he didn't respect you and isn't gay but DOES put his mates before you.
it sounds t... (read in full...)
I'm sad that he feels the need to compete with me...
Q. Dear cupid, Here is my situation. I have been in a loving relationship for just over a year. My partner is 30, I am 26. He in previous relationships was always referred to as the pretty one, the sexy one, the funny one and the popular one, a...
A. 7 October 2010: he sounds really immature, if he cant be happy if he is not seen as better than everyone else then that is very shallow.
he needs to grow up, if he always has to be the centre of attention, ask him to look inside himself and see if he is ever rea... (read in full...)
My husband's been having an affair for all the 6 years we've known each other!!!
Q. I met my now husband 6 years ago and he kept asking me to marry him, eventually we got married 3 years ago. about 12 months ago i received a couple of letter at work telling me to ask my husband about his affair, as he did not go out at night or...
A. 7 October 2010: make him move out- demand it of him. ... (read in full...)
The more feelings I show her, the bitchier she seems to get with me... why???
Q. Hello everyone, my question is for females since i need a woman's opinion, let me first tell u whats my situation, im in a LDR for 2 years now, for some reason my gf and i couldnt meet during this 2 years , anyway , i just wanna know if the girls ...
A. 7 October 2010: if you haven't met the person in two years (the whole time you have been "seeing" them) then its not much of a relationship. make an effort to meet and stop going overboard telling her you love her. words are not actions.
go see her... (read in full...)
The relationship changed after we slept together
Q. Hello all, I used to be the greatest girl ever. The one who was cute, sweet, sexy, smart and funny. He was contacting me on a daily basis and every time we went out together it was clear that we liked each other very much. I am not the kind of ...
A. 4 October 2010: look some men (myself included) have issues with intimacy. what happens is that everything is fine and they are respectfull and interested in a person, then once sex comes it changes things. the problem for me is if the sex is amazing but i find i ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend trying to pull me back into the closet
Q. okay so I've been seeing this guy for about a month now and he has met my family and they know he is my boyfriend. About two days ago he asked me to move in right after we went and met some of his friends and his parents but introduced me as "A ...
A. 4 October 2010: he isn't ready for a real relationship if he cannot say that that is what is happening...... (read in full...)
Would it help if we lived together?
Q. my boyfriend and i split up after he cheated over one year ago we stayed together for months but it just blew up we're now trying to fix things again to get back together, i have depts and mortgage do you think he should help me out if we live ...
A. 3 October 2010: he should pay you rent, but dont let him get his name on the deeds. anyway this sounds like it will all end in tears...... (read in full...)
My ex who dumped me is now drinking excessively! what can I do?
Q. My ex has started going out drinking since our breakup, she very rarely drank alcohol before we broke up and now she's out doing it a lot. I care about her still, as much as I want to move on, I kinda don't want her out doing stupid things, she's ...
A. 2 October 2010: she is behaving according to how she choses to behave, you can do nothing to change this. when people drink it is sometimes to forget and other times to get high. either way keep well away as she might start behaving eratically and this is not going ... (read in full...)
What can I do to be better in this relationship?
Q. This is probably going to be very long, but I need to explain the whole scenario for you to see where I am coming from. I have been in loving and slightly dramatic relationship with my bf for a year and a half. by dramatic I mean everythi...
A. 2 October 2010: he is an angry man, you are tired of it. he needs to learn to cope with his anger, OR you need to find it less offensive- if neither of these ideas happens in reality then you are not a well matched couple.
go from there... (read in full...)
Straight? Gay? All These mixed signals...
Q. So I have this friend, who insists he is straight, but something, a gut feeling maybe, is telling me he isn't completely. He knows I am gay, he played a gay role in a film that I wrote for a festival - he's fine with me. Actually we are quite close, ...
A. 2 October 2010: he wants to have you see him as straight yet his ego feels inflated by the fact you fancy him. he is in conflict between his own greed for your attention and trying to keep you at arms length as he doesn't really want sex or love from you. this ... (read in full...)
I Don't Fit the Mold
Q. Because of a chronic illness I have, I have been forced to move in with my parents. I am 26-years-old. I want SO BADLY to be independent, but it is near impossible as I am not able to work enough to be independent. My parents have helped me out ...
A. 2 October 2010: what is the illness? is it physical or mental?
you need to get access to your own money and do whatever you can to do that. if you want to get away from your mums controlling ways you need to do it using your owm money. its the only way you will... (read in full...)
Should a committed girl talk to every wrong caller ?
Q. I want to know about one thing, about one trait of the girl I loved. I took her number from a guy who used to talk to her at night(he took her number from his friend who was also talking to her parallely). When I got into commitment with ...
A. 1 October 2010: talking to people and sleeping with them are different things, but if she has had physical relations with someone else while you were together then she will not be honest in marriage...... (read in full...)
Bored with the relationship and want to break up, but she'd be devestated
Q. I've been with a girl 5 months and I'm beginning to get bored. We slept together after a week, have been on holiday together, and have also been on family meals with each others families. Our sex life is really good, but everything else is boring. ...
A. 28 September 2010: move on- its what is best for both of you, if someone bores you then they are not suited to you. its only been five months and you have no feelings for her...
... (read in full...)
I recently came out and want to have a male date at my graduation
Q. Hello, I am a 17 year old gay male and live in a small town in Saskatchewan. I came out when I was 15 and all I've been able to think about is how happy it would make me to have a boy as my grad escort. But as I said, I live in a small town, and ...
A. 28 September 2010: you need to think about wether you need to bring someone at all? why do you have to have a date at graduation? is it some kind of dance or is it where you get your high school diploma?
i am confused
if you dont want to bring a girl dont bring ... (read in full...)
Relationship with a third cousin.....
Q. can you have kids with your third cousin? is it alright to date your third cousin?...
A. 28 September 2010: its so distant as to be no problem whatsoever... (read in full...)
Why cant I seem to leave this guy behind?
Q. I've been texting with a guy I met at uni years ago. The thing is we ended up having cybersex, I didn't really have fun but I thought maybe we could date sometime go put or something, the thing is he is not willling to and appears and disappears in ...
A. 28 September 2010: stop responding to contact with this guy, he is using you to get off and it makes you feel cheap which in turn lowers your self esteem, think about it! if you dont enjoy him then why talk to him...
what are you gaining by keeping this going? i... (read in full...)
Long distance and time's running out. How do I win his heart and make him want a future with me?
Q. He’s 36 and lives in Germany. I’m 27, in London for 2 years now but due to return to Asia next year when my job secondment ends. We met on 5 Apr (5 months ago) when I brought my parents on a month-long DIY / free and easy trip in Europe. Since ...
A. 28 September 2010: i think that although there might be an attraction there, it probably stemmed from friendship. your mum was egging you on and parents are never a good judge of wether anyone fancies you because they are biased.
it sounds like a friendsh... (read in full...)
Am I being over sensitive and paranoid?
Q. Hi, i moved from England to Australia a year ago to live with my partner, who is english, but has worked here for several years and is already established. I gave up a good job, apartment and an independant life to start a new life here. i can hear...
A. 24 September 2010: not having a job is making you obsessive over trivial shit because your life has no structure and is unsatisfying. you dont have an income or a support network. join a club or activity that is group orientated and you will get a feeling of ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a girl says this during sex?
Q. Hello everyone i just have a little bit unusual question mostly for females but i dont mind having different opinons :D , i just wanna know what girls mean when they say during sex F**k me harder or when they are like ' harder harder ' Does th...
A. 24 September 2010: it simply means that the aspect of being fucked that they like is the hardness of the fuck and they want this aspect to increase. for instance when i get a blowjob i often encourage people to do it softer as a rough blowjob can be very lacking in ... (read in full...)
Do I need to confront the married friend that keeps calling my wife every night?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 12 years now but she asked me to leave for a while, She said she needed space, Time alone, Wanted me to keep in touch with her. She started having a thing for one of her work friends, It's a guy who is married ...
A. 24 September 2010: she has no respect for you, i think what you need to do is get away from her and think about wether or not she has treated you like you deserve to be treated. if she has treated you badly why stay? how are you financially involved with her? do you ... (read in full...)
Confused about my brother's feelings for me.....
Q. I told my brother that I'm in love with him 5 months ago. and that I wanted to make love with him. he get very angry and didn't even want to see me again. and we had no communication at all, till yesterday. he came in my room and we were ...
A. 23 September 2010: hmmm i suspect a troll but in case i am wrong, just dont go there. sex with a close relative will always mess your head up and isn't even legal for the reason that babys turn out inbred from these situations, while that is not an issue here i would ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ashamed of me!
Q. I am a gay guy and have been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months ago. I am out to friends and family, and my boyfriend isn't. I am really falling for this guy and he has met my friends and family, but I am finding it really hard because he is ...
A. 23 September 2010: dont push him, if he cant do it then maybe you need to move on. its not something you can force and in this case appears to be a deal breaker for you.
you have to think that things might go wrong if he was forced and it could split you up anyway. ... (read in full...)
What am I supposed to do to be a supportive girlfriend during a rough period like this without allowing myself to be used as a punching bag
Q. Hi there, hope this isnt too long. Some background...my boyfriend and I have been together for one year now. For the past month or so he has been acting rather strange and very distant. He didnt seem to want to spend any time with me, I got t...
A. 21 September 2010: you're not selfish but clearly he is not coming to terms with things and is very worried and anxious. maybe try and make allowances for his temper if it is recent along with his mothers stroke. people act out under stress and watching a parent get ... (read in full...)
One of my close friends likes my boyfriend and its making things awkward between us!
Q. Hey all. I havent got a major problem, just a little one. So il try keep it as short as possible. Last year i started college, as people do all my friends mixed in with the new football boys from other schools, the basket ball boys and the gol...
A. 21 September 2010: you're young and what you need to do is kiss your boyfriend wether she is looking or not. she IS after him and you can tell this. watch out for her because a friend would not be doing things like this. she cant have him but some people are ... (read in full...)
Do I leave him alone and cut him out of my life or do I pursue this "friendship"???
Q. This is kinda long so bear with me guys... I'm a gay man and I've been in a fantastic relationship with my partner for over a year and a half and he decides he wants to end it all of a sudden because of a lack of physical feelings after a month lo...
A. 21 September 2010: you wont be able to move on while you two are still friends. for whatever reason he just isn't very sexually motivated and i think he wants to hang on to you for emotional purposes which you wont enjoy as it will be like being together without ... (read in full...)
Only married 6 months and already problems!
Q. My husband and I have been married for only 6 months and already we seem to be having problems. He says mean and hurtful things and when I confront him about it he acts as if there's nothing wrong. Some days he's the kindest, sweetest man I've ...
A. 21 September 2010: get them out, stop giving money and live your own life. you have to make it clear to both families that you are a united front and when you tell them to get out or you dont have money DO IT TOGETHER as a unit. in time your marriage will become a new ... (read in full...)
Only married 6 months and already problems!
Q. My husband and I have been married for only 6 months and already we seem to be having problems. He says mean and hurtful things and when I confront him about it he acts as if there's nothing wrong. Some days he's the kindest, sweetest man I've ...
A. 21 September 2010: having his family stay with you is probably why he is going on about the cleaning- can he not do it at all? why are you're family trying to get money out of the two of you. it sounds like on both sides you are being put upon by both your families. ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my wife that an occasional non emotional sex night is not cheating or a threat to her?
Q. I am happily married. I love my wife very much, and would never contemplate having an affair. No interest. However, I really miss seeing and touching other womens naked bodies. The newness the excitement. It's just more exciting than the same old ...
A. 20 September 2010: dont try to convince her (if she isn't open to this then mentioning it is opening a can of worms). if you choose to do it without her knowledge its a risk you take, but you may have to accept the consequences (losing your wife if she finds out). ... (read in full...)
Only married 6 months and already problems!
Q. My husband and I have been married for only 6 months and already we seem to be having problems. He says mean and hurtful things and when I confront him about it he acts as if there's nothing wrong. Some days he's the kindest, sweetest man I've ...
A. 20 September 2010: marriage counselling- tell him that his endless tirades are breaking up the marriage. pure and simple. if things are upsetting you that much do something about it.
he needs to learn to not put you down for the sake of it. if he cannot do that may... (read in full...)
Age...not just a number? Is he playing with me?
Q. Almost in love with my bf after almost seven months...16 hour dates, cooking together, long drives, pet names, always laughing together, sweet moments.we have a 15yr difference in age and that as well as other factors worry me. Our musical tastes ...
A. 20 September 2010: yeah alarm bells ringing. when someone wont involve you in their life and doesn't want to be in yours apart from meeting up with you alone you have to question the reason why after 7 months...... (read in full...)
Got drunk, flipped out and now my guy doesn't want to be with me!
Q. Help! I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years. Wev'e had some problems in the past with me drinking hard liquor which made me crazy and flip out. Plus I've lost my job almost a year ago so I am stressed to the max. So we broke up got back ...
A. 16 September 2010: the reality is that lots of people drink and dont become abusive. this man has probably had a lot to deal with that you dont remember. it sounds like that episode last week was the straw that broke the camels back.
unless you can change getting ... (read in full...)
I feel like he's become distant since I told him how I felt about him
Q. Hi, I am a 17-year old (just today, actually) that is quite confused right now. I've been in love with a guy (straight) for 4 years now, and I'm not quite sure how to get over him, as I really want to. We'll both be graduating from high school soon, ...
A. 16 September 2010: to get over someone you have to NOT spend any time with them and then it will fade. thats my experience if you really love someone...... (read in full...)
Is there any chance of salvaging this relationship?
Q. In May 2004 my partner of 8 years passed away from brain tumours. After a few months I met a woman who has since become my wife. I met her way too early and she was initially patient and then pushy for me to move on, and over time this bred...
A. 15 September 2010: this was never a functional relationship- you were on the rebound BUT you have a child and need to remain civil to ensure things are not affecting them. from what you describe this relationship is dead in the water...... (read in full...)
I feel like he's become distant since I told him how I felt about him
Q. Hi, I am a 17-year old (just today, actually) that is quite confused right now. I've been in love with a guy (straight) for 4 years now, and I'm not quite sure how to get over him, as I really want to. We'll both be graduating from high school soon, ...
A. 14 September 2010: you need to stop being around him if you cannot stop coming on to him. its clearly annoying him and if he was interested you would be getting a positive response which you are not.
just because he isn't homophobic doesn't mean he wants to have sex... (read in full...)
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