A
female
age
30-35,
*ix
writes:So, I'm pretty sure I have genital herpes. I told my boyfriend this when we first started dating (5 mo. ago) and that I don't get breakouts often (2x in 6 years). He was okay with it, but told his brother (without me knowing) because I guess he needed someone to unload on.Well, his brother freaked out, and made my boyfriend tell their parents because he was convinced that my herpes could affect their whole family. So first, I was still allowed over, but I wasn't allowed to sleep over anymore (before his parents found out they liked me a lot and we all went out for dinner and stuff often, his brother was also kind to me in the beginning, even though he knew, he didn't freak out until 2 months later). After reading a newspaper article (by a guy that makes jokes out of STDs), the parents decided that I am no longer allowed at their house period, as they are afraid they'll catch my herpes from their toilet seats. In addition to this, my boyfriend is not talking to his brother at all. This is causing a lot of stress on his family as well as our relationship. He stays the night here maybe 1-2 times a week, but its getting difficult because we really enjoyed hanging out at his house before. A while ago, his brother added me to facebook, so I thought he might be coming around so I added him back. Not only did he not say anything, but when I asked him to play a video game with us again (that we did prior to his freakout), he didn't say anything and removed his girlfriend's comment that we would. So I unadded him.Before I was no longer allowed at his house my boyfriend wanted me to talk to his brother about the situation, but now that I am no longer allowed there I can't really talk to him unless I facebook message him.What I am wondering is: What should I say to the brother? My boyfriend wants me to put something in there about how he is sad about all of this. Also, because of this whole ordeal my boyfriend and I got tested for STDs together, and I told the doctor about what I think were herpes, and she said I probably don't have it (can't test for it because I have no sores at the moment and most people have herpes strain in their blood anyways). She also told my boyfriend, and he told his mother, but shes not convinced and still won't let me over. Is there any hope that I might be allowed back at his house? This is really taking a toll on my self-esteem, my boyfriend's stress levels, and our relationship.
View related questions:
facebook, herpes, period, std Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 Could your boyfriend call a family conference and you speak about the issue intelligently or accurately.. probably too embarrassing.
How about your boyfriend ask one of his parents attend the sexual health clinic with him. They will worry about his health and be frightened he will "get sick with herpes too"... :D So I'm sure that they would be glad to go and get the proper facts from a medical nurse or doctor..
So sorry that you have to face more pain due to ignorance.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 Have you thought about sending them a reputable fact sheet about herpes? Like about how it's really only contagious when you have an outbreak, how you really can't catch herpes from a toilet seat, etc? Like this one:
http://www.herpesresourcecenter.com/mvf.html
Why isn't it your boyfriend who's working to change their minds? Why is this all on you when it's his fault? Furthermore, he knows them a LOT better so it's way less awkward for him to talk to them about herpes than for you to.
...............................
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (17 July 2010):
 what a pathetic behaviour on the part of your boyfriends family, they seem to not understand this situation properly. for one herpes is very similar to cold sores, also to shun you because they might cathc a disease off you- would they do this to friends of theirs that had influenza? its just sounds very pathetic to me.
i wouldn't waste my time trying to go back just have your boyfiend stay at yours
if this is all it takes for family members to stop speaking to each other they dont sound very close knit at all- very childish behaviour
...............................
|
