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Am I a tramp?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2010) 15 Answers - (Newest, 2 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I've been a very bad discusting person

well i think so anyway :(

ive had sex with two boys in the space of a month, and other sexual acts with them too spreading over 5 months

im just realising now that i feel nasty and horrible, im sucha tramp

i dunno what to do, i feel like trash everyday

would you call me a slut? be honest

i just want to be a normal 16 yr old girl, whats wrong with me seriouslyyyyy, argh i hate myselffffff! :(

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A female reader, Oregongrl1 United States +, writes (2 June 2010):

I hope all is going well mentally and phyiscally!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you much for everyone's advice, it has helped a lot.

I'm going to carry out this advice and use it.

Thank you again

Lots of love

xxxxxxx

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2010):

Miamine agony auntLet's not deal in labels.. you like two guys, your young and dosen't sound like your attached. It would be better if you could just choose one, but if you can't you can't. Use condoms, enjoy yourself. This is where you are right now, you like two guys and you enjoy being sexual with them. Eventually you will dump them both and probably find one man to love.

Men and society put labels on things... waste of time. Do only the things you feel comfortable with. Always use condoms, and make sure you still love and respect yourself when you look in the mirror next morning, and then nothing you do can be classed wrong.

Make your own judgements, ignore what people say, and if you are doing something that makes you feel bad, then just stop and do something else instead.

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A female reader, Midge United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2010):

Midge agony auntWho are we to tell you how to live your life? Just because we wouldn't do the same thing as you, doesn't mean that its wrong! It just means that our morals are different to yours. And again, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Think of how boring it would be if everyone had the same morals!

If that is something you want to do, hey, go for it! Its your life, just be safe!!!!! You sound like you have your head screwed on, so stop panicking and make sure you use contraception and be safe!

Go to it girl!

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A female reader, GettingHelp South Africa +, writes (31 May 2010):

Its your decision to see yourself in any way you wish.

If you're feeling uncomfortable with what you've done, learn from it, and don't do anything unless you're totally comfortable with it!

You can change your actions and in so doing, you can change the way you see yourself. Change your thinking, change your actions. It doesn't matter which one you do first because the other one will generally come to the party not too long afterwards.

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A male reader, Honest Answer United States +, writes (31 May 2010):

Honest Answer agony auntYou are not a whore or a tramp. You are a young person exploring your sexuality. Having these feelings are a normal part of growing up. If you don't like the way you feel, change your behavior. Don't let boys guilt you into having a sexual relationship. You are the one that controls your body.

Good Luck!

Jeff

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A male reader, antwone fisher United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2010):

your young, you should be enjoying life, having safe sex is apart of it.

your not a tramp or sket. sleeping with 2 guys is minor,

life is about making mistakes, correcting those mistakes and never making those mistakes again.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2010):

DrPsych agony auntI don't think you are a tramp. I think you feel this way because you have lacked the self confidence to say 'no' to sexual activity with boys that you were not emotionally ready for. I suspect you had sex with these boys thinking a relationship might come from that, or at least some love and affection. It would explain why you feel disgusted now. You feel 'used' and that is probably a fair assessment of the situation. Teenage boys are keen to experiment sexually and looking for girls who are willing to help them learn about sex. It is ok to make a mistake but it is not ok to keep making the same mistake. Just don't let it get you down and start working on that self esteem. Next time you get into such a situation stop and think about how you feel about you right now...it should make you think twice about doing it. Sex is best reserved for a happy, long-term relationship - it is hard for many women to detach sexual acts from feelings of love and as a result it can be very distressing when the two don't happen together.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (31 May 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntYou're not a tramp unless you consider yourself one, so stop beating yourself up over it. If it's something you enjoyed doing, don't let guilt make you regret it. It's not something you can change anyway.

DO use a condom though.

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2010):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntyou're not a tramp but you probably didn't like those boys as much as you thought. stop beating yourself up about it and wait next time before making any quick decisions on sex.

good luck

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (31 May 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntIt is good that you know what you did was not right .Wipe your slate clean and start a new life again.

Let the past go and do not travel down that road again.Thats what you get when you sleep with the dogs .

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A female reader, YouWish United States + , writes (31 May 2010):

YouWish agony auntYou're no more a tramp than a guy who does the same thing. You're not stealing married guys or cheating on a boyfriend. You're just exploring. Like the others have said, I hope you're being extra safe about it, because whether it's casual sex or married sex, you can still get pregnant, and you can still get an STD.

You're not disgusting. It's good that you're evaluating yourself - that means you're a good and honest person with yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Let me ask you this, and maybe it'll help you feel better to ask yourself these questions. It's possible you've already been asking yourself some or all of these questions:

1. Are you feeling pressured in any way to have sex, either by these guys or by your girl friends??

2. Are you seeking to get closer to these guys by using sex? Do you feel that sex will make them like you more?

3. Are you searching for something besides sex (i.e. Love, attention, compassion, passion?)

4. How do you view sex? How do you view sexual activity? (i.e. oral, penetration, sexting)

5. **YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER THIS ONE** Was there anything sexually traumatic that happened to you that you're hoping to emotionally "set right"?

Again, you're a GOOD person. You're in no way NASTY or HORRIBLE, and you're certainly not DISGUSTING. You're not trash, and you've done nothing for which you should hate yourself.

You can learn to separate the acts that you regret from how you feel as a person. We have the ability to get up, dust ourselves off, and move on with life. You have your whole life ahead of you. Keep your eyes on the future and make yourself who you want to be.

Good luck! I hope this helps! :)

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A female reader, Oregongrl1 United States +, writes (31 May 2010):

honey,

define the word tramp are look it up in you're dictionary!

i think your ok. we all experencing things in our lives.

i think if you dig deeper it sounds like there is something else that is really bothering you.

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A female reader, ChristineAvril United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2010):

ChristineAvril agony auntYou are young, exploring and learning; no problem.

But, as "star" says, ALWAYS use a condom and preferably hormonal BC as well.

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A female reader, Star_07 United States +, writes (31 May 2010):

Star_07 agony auntYou are NOT a tramp!!!!!!!!

The reason you feel horrible is because you probably feel you made some poor decisions. WE all make mistakes. The only thing you can do is learn from them and not do that again if its going to make you feel bad about yourself and last thing PROTECT yourself. Please???

Take Care!

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