A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I love my wife dearly, i would do anything for her... Sometimes she's this angel I love and adore so much and is so nice to me but the next minute she critisizes everything I do and puts me down, questioning me all the time, putting words in my mouth and twisting everything I say. I commented well done on a female friends facebook page, my wife said "why have you done that, it's not really an achievement". It's as if I can't have my own feelings and opinions, it's almost like being back at school and bullied.As much as I love her, i feel I need to leave her but it's so hard... We've done so much good stuff but she is ruining my life, ageing me and I've recently started to have banging headaches and feeling really low. I do have friends but haven't felt like seeing them, my wife says 'im boring cause i dont see my friends when she see's hers'. No, i've just lost the insperation to have a good time. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): It sounds a bit hasty deciding to leave. Why not have a talk with her and let her know how much it hurts you when she's like that, and tell her about the bullying at school. If you make her a bit more aware of how it is affecting you she may be kinder.
A
female
reader, Cherry_Blossom99 +, writes (19 May 2010):
 I think the main problem behind your wife's behaviour is insecurity. Try and talk to her and make her feel loved, and most importantly make sure you tell her you won't judge her what ever the problem is. she is probably worrying over nothing, but is thinking about it all the time which is making her insecure. Trust me, i used to be exactly the same! Good luck x
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (19 May 2010):
 if she makes you feel like crap, why do you stay with her? it sounds like she is an overbearing bully. are you tied together in the house? is there some finanacial reason you cannot leave-is it possible if you two split that you could keep the house? you need to figure out the practical realities of a split, look for the best option for yourself and go with it. no one needs to be on the reciving end of someone elses constant criticism and it will do no good in the long term.
surely there is something you enjoy about her other than that you love her? you can love someone but if their behaviour is wrong for you moving on might be the only option.
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A
female
reader, Aussiemum  +, writes (19 May 2010):
Your wife must be very insecure deep inside to feel the need to be constantly belittling and bringing others down, including you. It sounds like you have stress and depression from this situation. So its a big negative in your life. A loving equal relationship does not include belittling your partner. Maybe try to seek some couples counselling as a first point of call, I'm all for trying to save something first off. Let her know the importance of this to you and that your feelings count. If the relationship is important to her as well, she will go do what needs to be done to save it. If she doesnt want things to change for the better and take steps to do so...my opinion is leave. We all deserve to be in equal loving relationships. There is a saying my father says...which I think is a good guide in relationships. There is no perfect in relationships, but as long as the good outweighs the bad...then its do-able. If its more bad then good, then you are better off alone. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 May 2010):
To be honest, I'd just tell her upfront that you are tired of being treated badly by her and having to listen to her put you down. Then say that unless it changes, you will have to leave. Whether she changes or not is up to her. But anything other than her saying 'I'm sorry', and you'd might just as walk out the door.
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