A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im pretty active, I go to school and work 24 hours a week. I have a beautiful 16 month old son. The dad and me are still ok but he lives 4 hours away. It seems like the only guys I can attract now are guys who already have kids, have been in trouble with the law, guys with no car or no real money.How can I attract the manly men that want to take me out and wine and dine me? What would guys think is sexy?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 December 2016):
 Concentrate on your child for the moment, he is your number one priority. Off course it is okay to date but don't try to hard or be to fussy. I mean you have a child, have you a car and money? Can you afford to wine and dine someone? I think you are expecting way to much.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (12 December 2016):
The best way for a single mother to get a guy is...Discipline.
No manly man is going to rush into your life if your life has no discipline. If you want this and that, and willing to do whatever to get it...then the only guys you will meet, are the ones you are meeting now.
A respectable man with money, car, and who wants to wine and dine you, will need to see that you have full control of your life. To see that you are a responsible mother, will greatly increase your chances. Wanting to go out and party instead of looking after your child...no respectable man will deal with that for long.
You should concern yourself with being a mother first, and girlfriend second.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (12 December 2016):
 Just about everything that you've written seems to be problematic.
You have a 16 month old son and you're looking at dating when right now your priority should be the child. Where would you even get the time for dating?
You then go on to say that the father of the child and you are "ok" but he lives 4 hours away. Whatever does that mean? If he were closer then you'd still be with him? Or that you tolerate him and don't mind the quickie once in a while, if only he were closer?
If you're "ok" with the dad then look at being with him and not a random person what you meet because a child deserves to be with his father and not someone playing his father. Unless the man in question is abusive or a threat to you or your child, you should look at repairing your "ok" relationship.
You seem to have a lot of expectations from the guys or the 'manly men', as you you refer to them, to pamper you and wine you and dine you when you're barely an adult yourself! And you're also choosy about the kind of men to date, wanting to be with men who have a car and money and no kids, when you have a kid yourself. It's also wrong to expect men to splurge money on you when you don't have much of it. Why is it that you think you're such a great catch?
Honestly, you sound like a gold digger. You make yourself seem like a very high maintenance person who's got no qualms wanting a man to be her sugar daddy. Maybe that's the problem.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 December 2016):
 Honestly? Right now if all you "get" out there are losers, take a break from dating and focus on your son and being an adult and a great mom.
I FULLY agree with FA, WORK on you. (not for men, but for yourself).
A teenage mom is quite often seen as someone who makes (or made) mistakes and therefore is not someone an average guy wants to date. Or they are seen as having "too much" baggage. Too complicated to be serious about.
Does it mean you are DOOMED to be alone? No.
Do you want a decent quality, man? BE a decent quality woman. Be financially independent, goal oriented and a GOOD mom.
I know it seems unfair that you are judged in the fact that you have a kid - people are judgemental.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (11 December 2016):
 It doesn't seem equitable. You also already have a kid. You also have no real money. You spend half your time with men who are not old enough to be thinking about settling down and supporting a family. And last but not least you are not old enough to be wined.
I know I have only offered an explanation and not advice. My advice is that you think about the qualities you are wanting in a man, and then become the woman that that man is attracted to. This will probably mean that you have a few years to wait before you are ready to start dating that man. You will be more attractive for working on yourself rather than waiting for prince C. to sweep you off your feet.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (11 December 2016):
 Is it not a little hypocritical to rule out guys who have kids, when you're in the same boat?
You need to find someone who will be a good role model, not just someone who will wine and dine you. Don't push it, just let it happen on its own.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2016): I don't think you should be aiming to do anything differently, just "attract men" as you usually would without a child and eventually you will find a man who is understanding of your situation and open to it. From experience, being a single mom doesn't necessarily mean you need to change the way you date or find men especially at your age, it just means that that process takes longer and more patience.
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